Dr. Says No More Naptime

[countrymom]

Oh, beleive me, there are MANY providers who make them just lay there. Many of them are quite mean about it as well.

Yes, my kids are all worn out and fall asleep when they lay down, but I don't make the older kids lay down to nap....they stay up and participate in quiet activities....books, playdough, drawing, etc.

thats what they do here, and I've never had a problem. Today I have all school agers and they are so good, and my school agers love the fact that they can play with stuff that is off limits when the littles are around.

[Meeko]

yeah, my 5 yo and 7 yo are exhausted by about 4 or 5 pm, but we can't let them sleep at that time, so we make them stay awake, eat supper, have a bath and then it's bedtime at 730. When kids are waking up at 6am, they can't handle it past 5pm. They are grumpy and tired. If they are up too long, then they hit their second wind and good luck getting them to bed once that hits. Biggest thing is keeping them busy so they forget how tired they are until bedtime.

We always have some relaxing time before bed as well. Helps settle them down.


As for the comment about too bad for us providers if we don't get that nap time in with ALL the kids. That's not fair. If you work outside of the home, you have scheduled breaks. Its illegal to not have a certain number of breaks for a certain amount of time at work. If you work an 8 hour day, you get 2- 15 min breaks (coffee break) and 1 either half hour or 1 hour lunch break. You can leave work and do whatever you want/need to do, sit outside have a coffee or a cigarette etc. It's not fair to judge a daycare provider for wanting that time during a 9-12 hour day to have some time to do dishes, clean up toys, prepare for the next activity, sweep, mop, or whatever else she needs to do. When everyone else leaves work, they get to leave and forget about it. Why should us providers have to put in an extra 2-3 hours AFTER daycare hours to clean up toys, and everything else? If we close at 530 that means we are cleaning up until 830 pm. I go to bed much earlier than that.

I don't think it's ok to force a child to nap that doesn't want a nap. But for children who are bad during nap/quiet time, they disrupt all the other children, and prevent the provider from doing what needs to be done. If the child can lay down on a mat and read a book or play a puzzle without disrupting others, that's great. But the provider still needs to supervise that child more than she would if that child was sleeping.

I also agree that if the child has outgrown naps, and everyone else is, then it might be time for that child to find a different daycare. But at the same time, that poor child will have to adjust to a new one. And if every daycare did this, where would school aged children go when school is out? Would all toddlers/children who no long take naps because mom/dad doesn't want them to have to switch to a daycare that is willing? How many daycares are willing not to? I know kindy's still have to have mat/quiet time. Grade 1 is the first year without for many schools.

I don't worry about about what other day care's do. I do what works for MY day care. I know that my kids don't want me tired and cross and frustrated because I haven't had a second to sit down and breathe all day.

I don't run my business around what is convenient for the parents. If they want that kind of control, they need to hire a nanny and tell HER she's not entitled to have a break during the day......

I am open 6AM to 6PM. At 6PM, my time belongs to me and my family. I don't spend it doing things that could have been done at nap time. I love my day care kids a lot. But my own family is more important. They don't need an exhausted wife/mom all the time. I use the 2 hour nap time to recharge my batteries. It's how I've been able to do this for 25 years.

I'm 50 years old and not getting any younger. I hope to be able to do day care until I drop. Without nap time that would probably be next week!!!

[Kaddidle Care]

I don't think napping is a "one size fits all" thing. Some children need a nap, some don't. I think for the provider, it should be their choice wether or not they insist all children nap, but they should be prepared to lose clients/children when the child ages out of naptime. I do not think it is fair to force a child to lay on a mat awake for hours so that the provider can have her "break" I think providers need to be honest and fair and let the child go if they do not want to accomodate a non-napping child. It's really simple...

I don't think it's ok to force a child to nap that doesn't want a nap. But for children who are bad during nap/quiet time, they disrupt all the other children, and prevent the provider from doing what needs to be done. If the child can lay down on a mat and read a book or play a puzzle without disrupting others, that's great. But the provider still needs to supervise that child more than she would if that child was sleeping.

I agree with both quotes here.

My oldest was a sleeper - whoa baby was he a sleeper. 13 hours during the night and a 3 hour nap to boot. Funny thing is - He's the one with ADHD! By 5 he would still take a nap after Kindergarten.

2nd child - I was LUCKY if I could get him down for 9 hours at a time during the night. At 5 he was bouncing off to the neighbors for more play after Kindergarten.

I was a SAHM though and let sleeping babies lie. I had the liberty to adjust my schedule around theirs. With the 2nd child I elminated naps at 3 as a 2 hour nap would have him going to bed after 10:00 and I was the one that needed him to bed by 8:00-8:30 for my own sanity. He has always been a very intense kid and I was an older Mom so honey, I was TIRED by 8:00 PM.

In a Center we need children on the same or at least similar schedules. Most adjust well but there is the occasional child that doesn't fit in the program.
We are required to have the children rest on their cots for the first half hour. If they aren't asleep by then they are allowed to look at a book, do a small puzzle and eventually get up to color. It's still hard to keep them quiet when they have so much energy.

[MarinaVanessa]

so why are people forcing them to sleep.

I might have missed the posts that you are reffering to but I don't remember reading that anyone forces their kids to nap. I did read a few that said that if they outgrew napping then they outgrew their program, meaning if they no longer napped then the daycare could no longer meet their needs.

I just recently changed my ages that I accept from 6weeks-10yo to 6weeks-5yo. Why? Because I tried the whole "Everyone participates in nap OR quiet time" thing and it didn't work for me. No matter how hard I tried one of the non-nappers was always making noise and waking the other nappers. The rest of the day I had cranky, crying, impossible children when they would otherwise be great kids. This is incredibly stressfull when you have 5 or more children that are cranky all at once.

I am with Nan on this one. I also think that it's ok to be "selfish". This is our business afterall. We as providers are able to run our daycares how we want to, it's a big reason why many of us choose to do family daycare instead of working in a center or elsewhere caring for children or like me ... teaching. I think that we should respect the way others want to run their businesses. I respect that you don't require your daycare children to nap. I, on the other hand, only take children 6weeks-5yo and require that they all lay down and participate in a nap. I have never, as of yet, come across a 5yo that does not nap. I just had a DCB leave DC because he'll be going to Kinder and he was my biggest napper. My daughter is 6yo and she still naps. I have had DCP's tell me that their 4 or 5 yo doesn't nap and then fall asleep during quiet time. Even when I didn't require naps most of the kids needed a nap and I won't force a child to stay awake just as much as I don't force a child to nap ... btw I don't know about anyone else but I know that I don't force a child to nap, they lay down and fall asleep on their own within 5 minutes even when they say they aren't tired and will usually sleep all the way through 2 hours of nap. Sometimes one or two wakes up an hour later and that's fine, they can play and they then wake the other nappers up that's ok too, at least they all had 1 hour of nap. Usually though they'll sleep for 2 hours and would keep on napping longer if I didn't wake them.

This is why the interview process is so important. It's a time to relay to the parents "Hey this is how I do things, Does that work for you?" Saying that the kids here nap is the same as saying "I transport the kids in my car", "I don't allow late pick-ups", "I don't serve juice", "I don't rock to sleep", "I require to be paid in advance of care" etc etc etc. We each have a way of doing our own thing and our job is to discuss this info with potential clients and it's theirs to decide whether they want to sign up or keep looking for a daycare that can better suit their needs. And yes I agree that a provider should be prepared to lose business ... as for me, I'd rather not have the client that requires me to keep their child up than to me stressed out and not a get a break for 12 hours. That would burn me out.

[nannyde]

Oh, beleive me, there are MANY providers who make them just lay there. Many of them are quite mean about it as well.

Yes, my kids are all worn out and fall asleep when they lay down, but I don't make the older kids lay down to nap....they stay up and participate in quiet activities....books, playdough, drawing, etc.

Not here.

I don't make kids lay awake. If they don't need to sleep they leave. That's for every age group.

We like to discuss this about kids who are four or five but my experience is that there is not an age limit to this. It's just as prominent in the infant, one, two, three age group as it is in four and five year olds.

I pre-interviewed a Mom a while back who told me her ten month old son was too young to take a 2.5 hour nap. Yes you read that right... "too young".

My kids go to bed and within a couple of minutes the house is completely quiet and they sleep till we come to get them. 99 out of 100 days every kid sleeps every day all thru nap. Now and then you will get a newborn or a newbie to adjust or a sick kid but other than that... it's easy peezy at my house.

This discussion happens all the time on day care boards but thankfully NOT IRL. All my kids take naps at home every day they aren't here. My kids NEED a lot of good deep sleep.

[nannyde]

I don't think napping is a "one size fits all" thing. Some children need a nap, some don't. I think for the provider, it should be their choice wether or not they insist all children nap, but they should be prepared to lose clients/children when the child ages out of naptime. I do not think it is fair to force a child to lay on a mat awake for hours so that the provider can have her "break" I think providers need to be honest and fair and let the child go if they do not want to accomodate a non-napping child. It's really simple...

Yes see above

You have to be willing to loose clients to have a policy like mine. I think many providers feel like they HAVE to allow kids up during nap because they have the younger siblings to the child or they can't afford to loose the kids income.

That's where you see the forcing to take a nap.

So when you take sib groups... know that this may come up as the children age. When you interview make it clear that everyone who attends needs a nap. When their child doesn't need a nap then the program won't work. That's for ANY age child... not just preK kids.

It works both ways. When you have a family that is very firm on wanting their child to be a really good sleeper then they love the portion of your program where you tell them you don't take kids who don't need a nap. These parents want their child to be in a home where everyone around their child is rested INCLUDING the care giver.

So... it's a great selling point too. You just have to find the clients that really value good deep sleep and a provider who KNOWS what they can and can't do to be happy in their job.

[cheerfuldom]

If someone was referring to my post, all the daycare kids nap, my oldest daughter does quiet time. Its my business, I can do it however I want and if the parents don't like it, find someone else they do like, end of story. I have yet to find a daycare child that is not completely exhausted most of the time with mom and dad. All my daycare families either don't tell the kid no (as in "no, you have to lay down and nap") or run the kids ragged all the time and they come here crying for sleep!

[Country Kids]

I had one that still took a morning nap plus an afternoon nap. I let the mom know that I only did afternoon naps because of my scheduling and the child adjusted to that. Have had child for almost a year and he still takes two naps at home on the weekends but only one for me. Actually sleeps really good for me in the afternoon.

[laundrymom]

This is my house too. I think activity and nutrition at home have a lot to do

With it too. I have had kids drinking mtn dew at dinner and fruit snacks for dessert with chocolate milk. And they say my nap is the reason they aren't wanting to go to bed. Rofl !!

Not here.

I don't make kids lay awake. If they don't need to sleep they leave. That's for every age group.

We like to discuss this about kids who are four or five but my experience is that there is not an age limit to this. It's just as prominent in the infant, one, two, three age group as it is in four and five year olds.

I pre-interviewed a Mom a while back who told me her ten month old son was too young to take a 2.5 hour nap. Yes you read that right... "too young".

My kids go to bed and within a couple of minutes the house is completely quiet and they sleep till we come to get them. 99 out of 100 days every kid sleeps every day all thru nap. Now and then you will get a newborn or a newbie to adjust or a sick kid but other than that... it's easy peezy at my house.

This discussion happens all the time on day care boards but thankfully NOT IRL. All my kids take naps at home every day they aren't here. My kids NEED a lot of good deep sleep.

[familyschoolcare]

You have to be willing to loose clients to have a policy like mine. I think many providers feel like they HAVE to allow kids up during nap because they have the younger siblings to the child or they can't afford to loose the kids income.

Just to "shake" things up and give people something more to talk about I run the opposite policy. I do not accept children that still need a nap they do not fit into my program. I run a primarily school program (willing to take any age that does not need a nap). I transport to and from school, have daily field trips on all non-school days holidays and summer. Thus making a nap time something that is very difficult to arrange in my schedule. I organized my day care like this on propose so that my older children would fit into it easily. Yes, I have turned away parents because their child still needs a nap or because they where young enough that they could not convince me the child did not need a nap (14 months)

[familyschoolcare]

Yes see above

You have to be willing to loose clients to have a policy like mine. I think many providers feel like they HAVE to allow kids up during nap because they have the younger siblings to the child or they can't afford to loose the kids income.

That's where you see the forcing to take a nap.

So when you take sib groups... know that this may come up as the children age. When you interview make it clear that everyone who attends needs a nap. When their child doesn't need a nap then the program won't work. That's for ANY age child... not just preK kids.

It works both ways. When you have a family that is very firm on wanting their child to be a really good sleeper then they love the portion of your program where you tell them you don't take kids who don't need a nap. These parents want their child to be in a home where everyone around their child is rested INCLUDING the care giver.

So... it's a great selling point too. You just have to find the clients that really value good deep sleep and a provider who KNOWS what they can and can't do to be happy in their job.

I run a program that is the opposite and have had to turn parents down because the child still needs a nap.

[nannyde]

I run a program that is the opposite and have had to turn parents down because the child still needs a nap.

Fabulous

There are providers out there for everything the parent wants for the child and what the child wants. It's just a matter of finding the right match.

[Meeko]

your right, but read some of the posts, they are basically saying that if they don't take a nap then I don't want them here, no matter what kind of child it is. So basically no matter how good a child is or how good the parents are many providers would rather get rid of child because they don't nap so they can have quiet time, thats what is wrong. And they are no better than those parents that we complain about. There is a difference between a child needing sleeping and forcing sleep. Not all children need naps at the age of 5, so why are people forcing them to sleep.

Country...the wonderful thing about being self-employed day care providers is that we can do whatever we want with our care.

I take kids from newborn up. Some providers don't take babies. That doesn't make them bad providers.

Some providers only tend school age kids. Some providers will not take a child past 5 years old. That doesn't make them bad providers.

Some do pre-school, some don't. One is not better than the other...just different.

Some do early morning hours, some don't open until many hours later.

Some do evening care. Some don't. Are the ones who refuse to give up their evenings bad providers? They don't want the kids there even if they are great kids and great parents.....just so they can have some quiet time? They would rather get rid of a child than do that? You betcha!

I feel the same way about my nap time break as I do about my evenings. I don't care how sweet a child is, I don't care how great the parent is...I don't do evening care. I don't do nap time either. My choice.

It's all about choice. I choose to make sure I get a break in the middle of the day. I have noticed that some providers on here don't open until 7:30-8 AM and close at 4:40-5PM!!! I wish I was so lucky! I work 6AM to 6PM. I get up at 5AM and don't get home to my family until 6:30 PM. I am 50 years old and not getting younger. I have 4 kids of my own (even if they are older) and a husband to take care of too. I NEED a break during the day. I would become ill if I just worked non stop all day.

So yes...I only take nappers. Just like other providers only take potty-trained. Just like some providers only serve organic food. Just like some providers do a lot of field trips and other don't.

We are all different. The parents know coming into the day care what the policies are.

I have never forced a child to nap and never will. If they outgrow nap, they have simply outgrown my day care. But in 25 years I have never had anyone leave me due to this. My own kids napped right up to Kindergarten and beyond. I personally do not believe that children get enough sleep if they are awake from 6AM until their parents put them to bed at night. We have a very active day care and they all crash out at nap time. All 16 of them. Even my schoolies. They play hard, eat well and then sleep hard.

It may work fine for you to have kids up and around all day. It doesn't work for me. This does not make me a bad provider.

[Hunni Bee]

I have about 7 five-year-olds. They all nap, except for the one with ADHD. Most of our kids get up by 6:30 or 7 am, and we play hard, go outside everyday and go on tons of field trips. They're bushed.

I have a few who willfully do not nap, and yes I do require them to lie down (and be quiet) at least 2/3 of the rest period. I will not sacrifice the much-needed sleep of 17 so that 3 of them won't be bored. The ones who would quietly look at books or color during rest are the ones who sleep three hours . The ones who don't nap are trainwrecks by 4:30 in the afternoon.

If a kid eats well, plays hard, and is under the age of 6, they'll nap in the afternoon and be a better kid for it. IMO.

[Unregistered]

Five year olds do NOT nap here unless they truly require one once in a while. They're heading to kindergarten in a matter of weeks. I won't be the one responsible for their internal clocks thinking they need a nap when they are supposed to be at school! Parents have no problem with me sitting with a cup of tea and a book while the 5 year olds do quiet, supervised activity. (Yes, I actually can supervise 5 year olds coloring/doing puzzles etc. in the same room while I read a book.) Plus they learn that what do you know? They can actually do an activity without me directing/hovering.

If I were to require kids that age to sleep, I wouldn't accept them into care. It isn't fair to them as I would absolutely NOT be meeting their needs.