I Must Be Getting Burned Out...

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

We've had more school agers this year than we have any other year before, and the summer started out great, but the last few weeks it's gone way down hill. They are so negative about everything and constantly complain. They break the rules and then try to argue with me when I enforce consequence. I'm "mean and hateful", I just "try to make their life miserable", etc... No matter what our next activity is, they complain and don't want to do it. Throughout it they complain or just plain won't participate (and then "this is the most boring daycare ever..."). It's just so much negativity all day long. The younger ones have caught "the attitude" and follow their lead... I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels trying to get our peaceful atmosphere back. I certainly don't look forward to working with the children each day, and always before I did. Today especially I just felt near tears all day with the frustration. Whatever I do it doesn't get better. I'm the assistant and even though I technically could take a day off (the owner could have a sub come in), I don't want to. I never take off if there is any way around it. I think the only time I take off is if the icy roads in winter prevent me from going in. Besides that, I can't AFFORD to take off. Minimum wage doesn't leave excess money, it means unpaid holidays, etc. So I really can't take any time off. I get to take a week off (unpaid) in August because the daycare is closed and it can't be soon enough. In the mean time I have to save all I can to cover that week when I won't have any income. Anyway,
with feeling near tears with frustration lately, is this unprofessional? I feel like I should be in better control of things so it doesn't get to that point. But the more chaotic things seem, the worse I feel. I can't wait til preschool starts again and I can get back to teaching the preschool age. I'll still have the school agers in the afternoons after school, but at least it won't be all day, and the owner and myself take turns working afternoons, so I won't have to deal with it EVERY day. In the mean time, what can I do to be more professional and in control of things? These school agers are just plain wearing me out. I'm so sick of the rule breaking and then the fit that follows when they get in trouble for it.

[Meeko]

We've had more school agers this year than we have any other year before, and the summer started out great, but the last few weeks it's gone way down hill. They are so negative about everything and constantly complain. They break the rules and then try to argue with me when I enforce consequence. I'm "mean and hateful", I just "try to make their life miserable", etc... No matter what our next activity is, they complain and don't want to do it. Throughout it they complain or just plain won't participate (and then "this is the most boring daycare ever..."). It's just so much negativity all day long. The younger ones have caught "the attitude" and follow their lead... I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels trying to get our peaceful atmosphere back. I certainly don't look forward to working with the children each day, and always before I did. Today especially I just felt near tears all day with the frustration. Whatever I do it doesn't get better. I'm the assistant and even though I technically could take a day off (the owner could have a sub come in), I don't want to. I never take off if there is any way around it. I think the only time I take off is if the icy roads in winter prevent me from going in. Besides that, I can't AFFORD to take off. Minimum wage doesn't leave excess money, it means unpaid holidays, etc. So I really can't take any time off. I get to take a week off (unpaid) in August because the daycare is closed and it can't be soon enough. In the mean time I have to save all I can to cover that week when I won't have any income. Anyway,
with feeling near tears with frustration lately, is this unprofessional? I feel like I should be in better control of things so it doesn't get to that point. But the more chaotic things seem, the worse I feel. I can't wait til preschool starts again and I can get back to teaching the preschool age. I'll still have the school agers in the afternoons after school, but at least it won't be all day, and the owner and myself take turns working afternoons, so I won't have to deal with it EVERY day. In the mean time, what can I do to be more professional and in control of things? These school agers are just plain wearing me out. I'm so sick of the rule breaking and then the fit that follows when they get in trouble for it.

I'd be tempted to show them what "boring" is really like. No plans, no projects, no activities. One day of really doing nothing should help them appreciate you more.

Sadly, this age group have grown up being catered to for every little thing.

Many of us agree with Nannyde's motto of "GO PLAY TOYS" but we are often told by "experts" how we have to interact with the kids constantly and work on their self-esteem etc. Translated, this means entertain them 24/7.

And then when they get home, they get computers, video games, movies etc. All huge amounts of stimuli that they don't have to lift a finger for.

They have lost the ability to entertain themselves.

After a day of "really boring" ....I would ask them what THEY would like to do. Make them actually THINK about it. Have them make plans. Have them write it down. Have them help you decide what supplies are needed. Make them a part of it rather than just laying it all out for them.....but of course you have the all final say so. Then make it clear that you don't want to hear one single whine about an activity THEY wanted.

[Hunni Bee]

We've had more school agers this year than we have any other year before, and the summer started out great, but the last few weeks it's gone way down hill. They are so negative about everything and constantly complain. They break the rules and then try to argue with me when I enforce consequence. I'm "mean and hateful", I just "try to make their life miserable", etc... No matter what our next activity is, they complain and don't want to do it. Throughout it they complain or just plain won't participate (and then "this is the most boring daycare ever..."). It's just so much negativity all day long. The younger ones have caught "the attitude" and follow their lead... I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels trying to get our peaceful atmosphere back. I certainly don't look forward to working with the children each day, and always before I did. Today especially I just felt near tears all day with the frustration. Whatever I do it doesn't get better. I'm the assistant and even though I technically could take a day off (the owner could have a sub come in), I don't want to. I never take off if there is any way around it. I think the only time I take off is if the icy roads in winter prevent me from going in. Besides that, I can't AFFORD to take off. Minimum wage doesn't leave excess money, it means unpaid holidays, etc. So I really can't take any time off. I get to take a week off (unpaid) in August because the daycare is closed and it can't be soon enough. In the mean time I have to save all I can to cover that week when I won't have any income. Anyway,
with feeling near tears with frustration lately, is this unprofessional? I feel like I should be in better control of things so it doesn't get to that point. But the more chaotic things seem, the worse I feel. I can't wait til preschool starts again and I can get back to teaching the preschool age. I'll still have the school agers in the afternoons after school, but at least it won't be all day, and the owner and myself take turns working afternoons, so I won't have to deal with it EVERY day. In the mean time, what can I do to be more professional and in control of things? These school agers are just plain wearing me out. I'm so sick of the rule breaking and then the fit that follows when they get in trouble for it.

When our school-agers behave like that...they go back to preschool mode. Which means their day is run like a preschool day: breakfast, playtime, outside time, lunch, REST TIME, book time...etc. They are told what to do and when to do it. After a few days of that, they start appreciating the privilege of getting to choose their own activities. And they KNOW better than to misbehave on an outing...they will be looking at the inside walls of the daycare til September

[boysx5]

I'm having a stress free summer I have no S/A and its wonderful just my own and I can make them clean when they say they are bored haven't heard that at all

[Kaddidle Care]

Hang in there. We are women (most of us) and hormones can really ruin your week. Just about the time you think it can't get worse, it suddenly gets better.

I have a big problem putting up with rudeness from children.

Thankfully we have no SA in our Daycare. A lot of our parents have made other arrangements for summer so we are down on numbers. It's sort of a welcome break but our hours are cut back because of it.

So.. I have more time to spend with my son and no money. :: It seems you either have money or time but never have them both at the same time.

[DBug]

I agree with the PPs, but I also think it's a good idea to call the kids on their behaviour. When they say things like "You're just trying to make our lives miserable", I'd use the mean mommy voice and say "That is rude and disrespectful. The next time I hear that, you will be separated from the group for x minutes." I bet there aren't many other adults in their lives that WILL call them out on rudeness, but it definitely needs to be done!

[MsMe]

When our school-agers behave like that...they go back to preschool mode. Which means their day is run like a preschool day: breakfast, playtime, outside time, lunch, REST TIME, book time...etc. They are told what to do and when to do it. After a few days of that, they start appreciating the privilege of getting to choose their own activities. And they KNOW better than to misbehave on an outing...they will be looking at the inside walls of the daycare til September

I do teh same here. if they can't entertain themselves then they get to follow my plan for the day.

Also at ALL times during the year if the SA kids start fighting or have two warrnings to calm down/ find something to do they stop what they are doing and they ALL read for 1/2 hour. After a couple of days of reading for three hours they learn to work together.
----and what are tehy going to do go home and tell Mom and Dad they had to read!?!?! gasp!! the horror!!!::::

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I agree with the PPs, but I also think it's a good idea to call the kids on their behaviour. When they say things like "You're just trying to make our lives miserable", I'd use the mean mommy voice and say "That is rude and disrespectful. The next time I hear that, you will be separated from the group for x minutes." I bet there aren't many other adults in their lives that WILL call them out on rudeness, but it definitely needs to be done!

Haha, I call them out on it all the time. I'm very big on respect, although you'd never know it to see the children right now. Children just don't know what respect is anymore. When I tell them something was disrespectful, they spout off something else even more disrespectful than before. What kind of consequence do you give for talking back, disrespect, and yelling at you? They're at the point that they absolutely REFUSE to listen to me. So if I tell them they have to go to the other room for a while (because of how they were acting, or whatever reason), they yell at me some more, add in some more comments of how mean I am, how awful the daycare is, etc. And then STILL won't go. They aren't even afraid to tell me to "make them". And really, with all the laws, I can't "make" them, and they're too big to physically make them. I threaten to talk to mom or dad (which I know you're not supposed to make threats, but when it gets as bad as one in particular, there seems nothing else will make them even think twice). Of course mom and dad don't get the importance of respect, so they wave it off. They might say something right then to them and make them apologize, but it doesn't stop them from repeating the same things the very next day. Besides that, the parents look at me like I'm just being petty and it's always someone else's fault for how their child acted. "Oh, they've been around so and so too much" (other child/ren in daycare, but usually the owner's children get the blame).

[Unregistered]

I am a school age teacher at a local daycare. I had this problem just before school let out. I decided for the summer to allow one child each day to chose something we will do. The kids actually hated it at first, but now mid summer, they are enjoying it. We made a calendar and added thier names so we know who's day it is. Even the boys have gotten into it. Its been fun waiting to see who wanted to do what! BUT the catch was, they still had to abide by the daycare rules and if at anytime they got out of hand the day's choice would be cancelled. I only had to cancel it once and they realized I meant business.

When the school agers give me additude. I refuse to talk to them, I walk away. At first they were mad cause they werent getting the "attention" they wanted. But once they started to understand that unless they can give me respect, I cant give it back. Now when I start to walk away, they stop and say I am sorry and lower thier voice and talk to me normal again. I started doing this with my teens at home, and it worked like a charm with them too!

I have two boys from a troubled home also, who love to push my buttons. With them when we would go out to play. If they were bad, that sat with me for 5-15 mins depending on what they did for the day before that, while the others played. I do this will all the kids not just them. The one day the older of the boys looked at me while he was sitting and asked me why I punished him this way. I told him, "it was because I seen something in him that showed me he was a really good kid, he just needed to learn how to make better decisions". He said "really". I said "yes of course. When I say you were punished because of x reasons, yes you would be mad and argued, BUT when the time came, you always sat beside me for however long I said you would have to. That shows me you really are good!" He just sat beside me trying to hide his smile. And honestly he hasnt had to sit with me for a while now.

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

Thanks for the response, Unregistered! Those are some really good suggestions that sound like they could really work well with this particular group. Can you tell me more about letting them pick what they want to do that day? Is this done during free play or outdoor play, or when exactly? Can you give me some examples on what your group has chosen? Now I'm all excited and wish I'd posted sooner so we could have been doing this all summer!

[Unregistered]

Everyday when I get there. Who ever's turn it is tells me what they want to do. It can be outdoor time, or choice, or whenever it fits in really. One day the one child chose capture the flag. We made two different colored flags for bases. Then for fun since it was hot and we dont allow any type of gun (play guns, water guns, or anything made to work like a gun), we took water squirt sticks. The kids chose teams and we placed the flags on each side of the play area and they defended them. If they were squirted with the water they were out. They still pick this game alot.

Another child wanted a dodgeball tournament. We took teams and the winners were who won 2 out of 3. The winners decided they got to have snack with the others getting it for them.

One day it was raining, and the child who turn decided she wanted to do minute to win it games. We found cookies for the cookie face race at snack time. You know where you place a cookie on your forehead and then have to work it to your mouth using nothing but your face muscles! We then did the pencil grab. First you start with 1 pencil 1 hand. Throw the pencil slightly in the air and grab it without dropping or using the other hand. The next attempt you add 2 more pencils and still using that one hand you try to do it again. (If you go to the minute to win it site you can find alot of these games and better explainations, luckly for me this girl loved the show and we did her suggestions with what we had!).

Another girl wanted to play games. So I had a blank bingo page that we ran off copies of. Then instead of numbers we made it into a hunt of sorts. With bingo across the top of the lines, they had to fill the first column with things they found in the room that started with B the next column was I and so on........The kids had fun, even though some of the letters are hard (heres a hint if you have a globe or map, other countries start with those letters and techn they are in your room!!!).

Another day we did magic tricks for the little kids, you know like the rubber pencil and things like that. Simple tricks the kids knew and amazed the younger ones.

Once the kids realized it was fun, the idea's started rolling in. They look forward to it now. I never know what we will do from day to day, but it also makes it fun for me. I learned how to think quick on my feet for ways to make it work too!!!!

Oh and Bill Nye the science guy, he has a website with some amazing idea's!!! It fits into the learning part but its also fun for them! The egg one on the site they loved. You take 2 tall clear glasses of water. One is plan the other has like a cup of salt. You have them vote what they think will happen. You then crack on egg in each glass. The plain water one the yoke will sink, the salt water the egg will float. I found kids love the science experiments!!! Thats the stuff we do on my day (yes I placed my name on the list also!!!! That way somedays I know I will have the stuff for things I want to do with them!!!)