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This lady is already in the CPS system, but like some of the other posters I don't feel like I would call CPS over the kids being "dirty". Sometimes "my dirty" isn't another person's dirty (even though it would skeeve me...I'm OCD). As long as I didn't feel that they were neglected i.e. malnutrition, infections because of the uncleanliness, etc., etc., I would just be honest with her and take it from there.
Also.............are you licensed??? I only ask because my Licensor looks at everything and comments on everything. Nice lady but I've started to notice that when she comes for an inspection she doesn't just look at my daycare or my paperwork, she actually looks the DCK's over and makes comments. "Awww....I see little Suzy has a bruise on her nose." Um nooooo....that would be a blue vein. My daughter had the same one as a baby. "Oh.....I see little Johnny has stitches on his forehead." Um yesssssss....but he got those at home, not here. Subtle stuff like that....
So, I say all that to say I could only imagine if I had disheveled looking children here. She would probably think I was keeping them dirty or that I am neglecting my Mandated Reporting duties. If you're licensed I would tell the mom that she is putting your license in jeopardy and that if you get an inspection, she could be putting you into some really hot water!!!
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This is exactly what needs to be done. It sounds harsh, but there are always ways to lighten it up, so she truly gets the point, but does not feel attacked. It would hurt to find out that people think your own child is disgusting.
There is no excuse for this. Kids are dirty by nature, at least my kids!
. But there is a huge difference between dirty, and disgusting. My kids can have 4 baths a day, and within 10 minutes of being outside they are filthy again. We have a dirt road backlane, so everytime the wind or a car goes by, it sends dust flying. They have been doing construction on the main sewer lines around here as well, so everytime a tractor goes down the road, he is dropping dirt and dust (the street is caked in dust, dirt, and sand) and so even my house is hard to keep the dust levels down right now.
But you can tell my kids have fresh clean clothes on, that they have bathed, etc. These kids are in for a very hard life if mom doesn't straighten out. I'm sure with dad's disability it is very hard for her to keep up. But there is no excuse. Tell her to wear the same pair of socks day in and day out for a week. It would be better for these kids to not wear socks at all.
If they haven't bathed in a week, wore the same socks for a week, they could easily be at risk for infections. When they get into undies, who's to say they won't change their undies for a week?
I know a family who is a great family, but they aren't the cleanest parents. The kids are always spotless, and clean. Mom's always got greasy hair and dad's a slob. When they were living in a trailer with grandma, the kids would have a bath WHILE mom showered. But that's better than nothing. and I'm sure that was only every other day or more.
I cannot fall asleep unless I have a shower before bed. If I am too tired or sick and go to bed dirty, sheets HAVE to be changed before I can get back into bed the next day because to me, I was dirty when I went to bed, meaning the bed is now dirty too. EW I just cringed.Last edited by dEHmom; 07-14-2011, 05:38 AM.Comment
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Update:
Again she was late picking up yesterday and blew it off, even had her DH with her! They both acted as if nothing was wrong. No sorry I am 45 mins late etc. This morn paper work STILL not in. Socks are changed but still brownish gray from the grim build up they will never be white again. I know I am still having back bone probs but I did terminate another client for disrespect and still dealing with backlash from that so I am trying to take this 1 easy so 2 red flags arent raised against me with my licensor. Anyway This is what I said this morn.
DCM was getting the car seats out like she used to in case DCD has to pick up. DCG said "our car seats out?" DCM said "yes in case daddy has to pick u up." I chimed in and patted her shoulder with a smile and said "yes because mommy was 45 minutes late again yesterday" and gave a nod like u know better. DCM just giggled and shrugged like oops. STILL no simple sorry about that, nothing. I have to just accept she has NO manners or respect what so ever! I then said "looks like u guys have been outside playing already this morn with dirty knees and hands, did u have fun?" and I giggled to make the kids smile. DCM gave me a funny look and said "no they just got up and we came here." I said oh they must have fallen asleep before bathtime then. She looked at me with a nasty look, put her hands on her hips and said "no I bath them". Oh ok I said and let it go because she is obviously ready for a dispute right there in front of the kids. I am in a no win situation here!
Sooo turns out DCD is in the darm this whole time.. DCD calls me this morn after breakfast and has JUST NOW found a couple notes I wrote this week and last and 1 from DCM this morn where the kids have to be picked up at 4:00 today. He wants to know why the kids need picked up at 4:00 today. (obviously she has not even showed him the contract we signed!) I explained to him "I give written notices all the time and she doesnt always take them home. The 2 he has are the ones I MADE her take home. As for the 4:00 that was HER decision. I told her we needed a scheduled pick up time and that the 6:00 pick ups had to stop because our 5:00 dinners and family time was suffering. She said she would have the kids picked up at 3:30 or 4:00. I said great, 4:00 it is and we signed the contract with that to be the new pick up time."
He says "Wow I dont know what shes thinking because she never knows when she gets done it could be 6:30 - 7:00 before she would get the kids so I dont know how they will be picked up." I then explained in detail about my needing time to make dinner for my family and have some time to ourselves each day and with me working some weekends for them on top of it is just too much time. Sometimes I have 60+ hr work weeks and it's too much. He said he understood and would see what he can do but he has things he goes out and does everyday to earn a lil cash. (I thought ok fine why not get the kids while u are out doing things? He doesnt work because he is on disability so is he even allowed to work these odd jobs? If he can work odd jobs why cant he work a legit job? She works full time plus they get welfare. And still havent paid a cent for my daycare services for 2 weeks now. We don't know what portion the state will make them pay so we wait for the certificate BUT they are holding the certificate up by not turning in the required forms! Now they want someone to take their kids for 60- 66 hrs per week weekends included? Nope sorry!) He said "DCM doesnt stay on the ball and plays around too much and that he will try to keep her on track there if I can help keep her on track here that would be great!" Thats a shame when her own DH thinks of her the same way I do!
I thought about brining up the cleanliness issue with him but he sees his kids every day he knows how they live so I didnt even open that can of worms. I decided when they have grimey socks I will take them off and hose them down with some detergent on the patio and let them dry in the sun.
I am thinking they will be looking for another provider due to the pick up time restriction but I don't know anyone who will work weekends and just fluctuate their daycare schedule to fit theirs every week. Plus whatever the other kids have. Do Any of u work those hours for anyone?Comment
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Maybe I missed something, but if she still hasn't filed the paper work, and your still not getting paid, ummm....why are you keeping these kids? You are better off with no kids and searching to fill the spots they are taking up. At least you would have less stress while trying to fill them. Personally, I don't think she has any plans to file the paperwork. She is using you for totally free daycare with NO effort on her part.Comment
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Poor kids.
Poor you.
Best of luck with this all.
As for your question, I only work M-F 7am-5:30pm but I have a couple of family members who run home daycares as well - one with the same days and hours as me and the other works Monday through Saturday 6am to 9pm... she's on the verge of burning out though.Comment
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She is thru the state they will pay me most of the money she will pay a portion but the state cant decide what that is until she gets paperwork in. Her last extention is coming up next week and she intends on waiting until the last day.
I wouldn't really have less stress because then I would definatley have NO way to pay all my bills. I am a single mom this is my only income. They have been here for months but recently left due to an injury with DCM and is now back but the certificate expired so she is renewing and taking her time. The CC&R office manager basically talked me into taking them and told me she will be approved once they subitt the last form but did say I didnt have to rovide care. I need an income and the state only pays once a month so I couldnt risk waiting and definatley having nothing so I opted to take this risk and atleast have a hope of getting paid. This DCM has 2 kids. They are my ONLY full time kids so I need the money until more come along.Comment
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Thanks for the support everyone!! Poor kids.
Poor you.
Best of luck with this all.
As for your question, I only work M-F 7am-5:30pm but I have a couple of family members who run home daycares as well - one with the same days and hours as me and the other works Monday through Saturday 6am to 9pm... she's on the verge of burning out though.
If I didnt have a child of my own I may run late hours but my poor kid shares everything all day including me and I just feel he deserves to have some time with me to himself and some time alone in his own house, yard etc as well. We have a pool and he can't even swim in it until evening sometimes. I have been thinking about closing the pool for good because I waste money in chemicals for maybe a few hrs per week of swim time. Turning to a vent sorry I'm done. TY again!!
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Has she been paying her "portion" while waiting on the state? I understand not being able to pay bills, been there, done that too. But what are you paying the bills with now? The state isn't paying you now. I would be doing EVERY thing I could to fill her spots NOW.
IF she isn't paying her "portion" now, you will never see the back pay, even if she files the paperwork and the state starts paying.
I hope I'm wrong, but you are being taken for a ride by this lady.
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Okay I understand that she has an extension and I don't know how it all works in your state so does that mean that for sure they will back-pay all of the time that you've been watching the kids? I know that here in my area the subsidy program back-pays but starting only from the day that their paperwork is turned in and processed. You watch the kiddos that month and turn in the hours at the beginning of the following month you don't see payment for another month later. So in essence you're getting paid for that current month two months later. The way I do it is that I need the letter in my hand that says that they are FOR SURE getting assistance and what their family fee will be and they still pay for DC until I get that check in my hand, then I reimburse the families. That way at least I know that I get paid for sure. I don't know if you can do that where you are, not everyone allows this, but if you can you may want to think about doing this.
Let me ask you this: What will happen if she doesn't turn in her paperwork on time?Comment
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In Utah, the state will pro-rate what they pay.... back to the day the paperwork was turned in.... ALL OF IT.
I don't know how your state works, but here, if they have not go the paperwork, they will not process it. You may find yourself with the state not willing to pay a dime of any care already provided because they don't have paperwork. They may only start to pay if and when she turns it in.
Is there a possibility she isn't eligible and is stringing you along? That was a huge problem here for a while. Parents were going to the welfare office, picking up a state day care form and taking it to day care providers to fill out. Gullible providers were taking the kids and waiting for funds. And waiting. And waiting. Turns out the parents were never even eligible for care and they knew it. But the providers saw the form and figured it was coming. So parents were getting free care for up to a few months before providers had enough.
The state told us to NEVER assume the parent is eligible. Just because they get some state benefits doesn't mean they get them all..
I don't take anyone unless I have cash up front (I will pay them back anything above what is due after the state pay) or I have occasionally taken kids after checking with the state and getting a promise from them that funds ARE coming soon.
Never, ever trust the parent to tell you the truth. Sad, but it's a fact that if they can stiff you, they will.Comment
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Exactly this!! Also what Meeko said...the mom may be stringing you along. Here, EVERY. SINGLE. piece of paperwork that is required for attendance must be turned in to me COMPLETED BEFORE I will provide one single second of service for a family. I too, earned this lesson the hard way.
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Ahhhh! This! Horrific! Its bad enough that these kids are neglected at home and then dumped on you! BUT DAD DOESNT WORK?!?!? OMG! Stay home with your darn kids! Do some laundry! Bathe your kids! These people are the worst of the worst. Pitter, do you absolutely need the income from these two kids? You have no other prospective clients? I do agree this is neglect, the condition they arrive in.... If a child arrived here like that, I would not accept them into care!!!! If you, as a provider, asked them to supply clean changes of clothes, and the parents refuse, this seems like neglect. I feel SOOOOO BAAAAD for YOU and the kids. Dad should care for them!!! Or get a job!!!! Ugh! Double up: ugh UGH!Originally posted by PitterPatter;127206 He doesnt work because he is on disability so is he even allowed to work these odd jobs? If he can work odd jobs why cant he work a legit job?
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And no, I wouldn't work weekends or over 50 hours, not for wonderful parents, much less THESE "parents".Comment
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I'd even go so far as to do this: next time they arrive with filthy bodies and filthy clothes and poopy diapers: I'd give them a bath!! After bath I'd wash their clothes. Perfectly clean diaper before DCP's arrive. "I have bathed your children and washed their clothes. They are in fresh diapers. If these children do not look exactly like this tomorrow morning, I will not accept them into care. I am a required reporter of abuse and neglect. The condition your children arrive to school in has made me suspect neglect. Next time these children arrive dirty, in dried on poopy diapers or without 100% of the requested items, I will report you to DCF.".
I know this scenario is difficult. Maybe a friend can help you watch the other DCK you have while you bathe these kids and wash their clothes. Its NOT your responsibility to do it, BUT it seems like the dummie parents need a visual aid to see HOW THEIR KIDS ARE EXPECTED TO LOOK! Yes, its a threat. They need a serious wake up call.
Sorry, Pitter, this topic makes my blood BOIL. Not directed at you, but at the low lifes you have to deal with.Comment
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