Filthy Socks & Poopy Diapers

[PitterPatter]

A DCM is really pizzing me off! I have gotten used to the children coming with an odor and unclean clothing and I have been making do here with clothing that I buy and use on them and just wiping them down etc. But these past 2 weeks are really getting to me. I want to speak up but I have already been on her for other issues these 2 weeks so I kinda hate to have to complain AGAIN but this is BS! Maybe I am just picky I don't know so will u tell me please?

Mondays come and the kids USUALLY have a SEMI clean pair of socks on. Tuesday same pair more dirty, Wednesday now just eew grimey, I don't even want to discuss the next day I gagged trying to put them back on! The stench and just grim that was literally wiping off of them GAG! This goes for both kids but dcb 2 is worse for some reason! I bet they dont even take them off for 4 days or longer. The dcg has had the same pen mark (not sharpie just basic pen) over her eyebrow since Saturday morning! This is Wednesday!! I usually scrub them up but this mark I left just too see how long it takes before they wash it off. It is fading but not due to washing. They have to see it right on her forhead!

Also DCB has been brought in many poopy diapers, some dried on poop! Almost daily! We play outside as soon as they arrive to beat the heat. I thought for the first few times the dried on poop was my fault, maybe he pooped while playing and since we were out for 30 mins to an hour, that could be it so I started checking as soon as DCM left. Sure enough he comes in poop! What can I say? She obviously knows this. At least today she had to know because I smelled him right away and thought maybe he tooted I'll wait to see if she speaks up. Nope off she went.

So how do u tell a parent they need to change the NASTY filthy socks that they knowingly leave on a child every day? How do I tell her to change him when she comes? I already have it in handbook they are to come clean and dressed for the day with a fresh diaper. I also put the reminder in the newsletter again! So what now? When she drops him off he's on my time so surelt she just assumes its my duty but this means making the kids go in the house right away to change a poopy diaper then take them back out to begin the day again. Thios is the same parent that I cracked down on with pick up times. Advise please???

[daycare]

YOu need to be honest with this mom... Once you let things slide, well they just keep on going.

I would tell her directly that the kids need to be in clean clothes and diapers. Then I would make it a point to check the kid right as the mom dropped them off. DOn't wait. If its dirty you make mom take him out to the car and change it.
Do they have a change of clothes? I would take the dirty ones off and send them home and say when they have clean replacments they can come back. The kids cannot be here without the necessary supplies. No clean clothes, no stay.

I know we can't force a parent to bath a child, but this just sounds like neglect. Horrible that they would go this many days without a shower/bath or even a good wipe down. I don't give my son a bath daily, but you bet your butt he will get a good scrubbing with a wash cloth and soap.

Again, just be honest with this mom. What will happen to these kids when they go to shcool like this? More than likely they will be shut out and teased....

[countrymom]

pack the socks up in a bag, and when she comes and picks them up hand them too her. Tell her that you washed your floors and rug and that you can't have dirty socks in the house. As for the poopy, do you have kids of your own, do what my girls where doing, the minute this dcg came in they would loudly say "mom she smells" took a couple of times and mom felt embarressed and checks her on the way out.

[PitterPatter]

YOu need to be honest with this mom... Once you let things slide, well they just keep on going.

I would tell her directly that the kids need to be in clean clothes and diapers. Then I would make it a point to check the kid right as the mom dropped them off. DOn't wait. If its dirty you make mom take him out to the car and change it.
Do they have a change of clothes? I would take the dirty ones off and send them home and say when they have clean replacments they can come back. The kids cannot be here without the necessary supplies. No clean clothes, no stay.

I know we can't force a parent to bath a child, but this just sounds like neglect. Horrible that they would go this many days without a shower/bath or even a good wipe down. I don't give my son a bath daily, but you bet your butt he will get a good scrubbing with a wash cloth and soap.

Again, just be honest with this mom. What will happen to these kids when they go to shcool like this? More than likely they will be shut out and teased....

I have NO spare changes! I have been after her for literally MONTHS when she 1st enrolled! She did bring 1 set for 1 of the kids 2 months ago but I had to use them and she never brought more so I went out and bought sets for here. I told her Monday they had to be brought by Wednesday no more excuses which she has a ton of. She comes today I asked do u have the supplies? She said yes all in the bag except for towels and swim diapers. All I got was 2 pair of shorts for the dcg and each had a swim suit. No shirts at all and nothing for dcb. No socks at all, no sunblock.... I wrote her a long letter stating what I needed. She is having someone else pick up the kids today so I wrote the letter. I swear it's like she's mentally handicapped or something!

Someone else suggesting taking the socks off and bagging them and handing her the bag saying simply "here are their socks" that way I don't offend her or mad her mad again but maybe she will get the point.

TY for the help guys!!!

[PitterPatter]

pack the socks up in a bag, and when she comes and picks them up hand them too her. Tell her that you washed your floors and rug and that you can't have dirty socks in the house. As for the poopy, do you have kids of your own, do what my girls where doing, the minute this dcg came in they would loudly say "mom she smells" took a couple of times and mom felt embarressed and checks her on the way out.

LOL u are the 2nd person that suggested that bag idea! We will try that 1st. My son has said eew what stinks and I told him that's not nice. I didn't want the kids to feel bad about themselves. DCG is going to be 4 and still in diapers this is just BS! I can get her to go if I take her all day but she NEVER tells me on her own I have to just say Lets go try anyway.

[wdmmom]

I really liked a previous poster's penalty for breaking the rules. 1st time your rate goes up by $1.00. Do it again $2.00, 3rd times a charm...$3.00 more per day. Lastly, get rid of them.

Sounds like this mom is more worried about getting herself ready in the morning than taking care of her kiddos. Tell here that these are your requirements and they aren't being met. If she can't give them a quick bath at night and get up 15 minutes earlier each day, she's a problem.

I would bring it up like so:

"You read my handbook when you started, right? And, do you read the newsletters that go out every so often? Well, I've noticed that your kids come in wearing dirty clothes and the same socks for days on end.

Heck...if you need the money, you might even want to go as far as offering to do a few loads of laundry a week for her for a certain dollar amount. Maybe she'll take you up on it.

[laundrymom]

I would remove the dirty clothes, socks included and bag them. Send them home in dipes. I would also say, hey can you change them each day before you leave? They seem to poop on the way here every day and taking them in to change them throws off our routine. Thanks. If she says she doesn't have time, tell her to hold on. Check them, if they are wet or dirty tell her they need changed before she leaves unless she wants you to increase fees.

[meganlavonnesmommy]

Honestly, I'd report her to the state for neglect. I think its sad that a child is raised in a home like that. Just imagine what her home looks like? If she doesnt have the common sense/daily living skills to keep her children clean and clothes clean, do you honestly think she is keeping a clean house, or meeting their basic needs?

I hate to be harsh, and maybe things at home are fine. But I've seen a few homes where it was just plain nasty! I had to call CPS on a neighbor a few years ago. I was never inside the home, but the outside was nasty, garbage all over, dirty poopy diapers sat on the front porch for days (out in the open), cigarettes all over the front porch, you could see in the windows that the screens and blinds were all torn and broken, the kids were always dirty, unkept and she was constantly yelling at them. I mean SCREAMING at them.

As a childcare provider, I am required to report ANY AND ALL child abuse and neglect. It states so in my contract that parents sign.

After I called, I heard from a neighbor that once CPS came, the inside of the house was horrible, like an episode from Hoarders horrible. They didnt take the kids away, but they did give her the help she needed to get things cleaned up. She had to go to parenting classes and had follow ups.


Just and idea......

[wdmmom]

Honestly, I'd report her to the state for neglect. I think its sad that a child is raised in a home like that. Just imagine what her home looks like? If she doesnt have the common sense/daily living skills to keep her children clean and clothes clean, do you honestly think she is keeping a clean house, or meeting their basic needs?

I hate to be harsh, and maybe things at home are fine. But I've seen a few homes where it was just plain nasty! I had to call CPS on a neighbor a few years ago. I was never inside the home, but the outside was nasty, garbage all over, dirty poopy diapers sat on the front porch for days (out in the open), cigarettes all over the front porch, you could see in the windows that the screens and blinds were all torn and broken, the kids were always dirty, unkept and she was constantly yelling at them. I mean SCREAMING at them.

As a childcare provider, I am required to report ANY AND ALL child abuse and neglect. It states so in my contract that parents sign.

After I called, I heard from a neighbor that once CPS came, the inside of the house was horrible, like an episode from Hoarders horrible. They didnt take the kids away, but they did give her the help she needed to get things cleaned up. She had to go to parenting classes and had follow ups.


Just and idea......

I wouldn't recommend calling CPS. That cost the state a lot of time and money...especially if it were something like that.

I would continue with it a little further...documenting the days he/she comes in with a dirty diaper and the days they wear the same clothes/socks.

Is this a single mom?

I think there is a lot more that needs to be factored in other than bad hygiene. Take a drive by her house/apt and see what they place looks like.

PP made a comment about calling CPS on her neighbors. You sound like my old neighbors. They called CPS on me because we were remodeling my house and I had a dumpster outside that had trash, lumber, drywall, etc. in it and they were concerned for the kids! REALLY?! Just because the outside looks like hell doesn't mean that's what the inside looks like. My ex husband and I had an agreement...I do the indoor work, he did the outside work. However, he didn't do a good job of it.

What one person considers unacceptable isn't necessarily so unsafe.

I'm not trying to make excuses but not everyone lives the same and can afford to bathe daily.

[PitterPatter]

To respond to some questions here.

There is a Father, he lives with them but can't watch the kids due to a disability issue with his hands.

The state is already involved she tells me all the time, complaining the caseworker is coming back to her house AGAIN and shes tired of it. She says the caseworker gets in her business telling her the almost 4 yr old should be potty trained by now. I guess he was sanctioned before and they are doing updates one her or something. I dont ask I just listen to her gripe as she goes on her way.

She doesnt pay anything for child care so I cany up anything. The state pays it or will once she gets her paperwork in. We are talking just laziness here. She is pretty clean and I dont get close enough to smell her but the kids get hugged everyday and it's just sad!

Sending the bag home at pick up today and starting there. I am buying them socks this week and just changing them here and let them go home. See what happens, she should mention it. I will mention the diaper in the morn if its dirty and bring past to her attention as well. TY all!!

[jojosmommy]

Since it is summer I would let them wear the socks on Monday and "disappear them" on Tuesday. Mom probably wont notice and might put on another pair for wednesday. Either way I would call her out on it and I would not let kids wear nasty socks in my house. gross.

[PolarCare]

Mark the socks

Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

[Blackcat31]

Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Sometimes real honesty and the blunt truth is just what is necessary. It may be tough or uncomfortable to say those words but I'm am wagering that those are the only words she will understand so time to start speaking up. Good Luck !!

[wdmmom]

Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome idea! Love it!

[CheekyChick]

Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Great answer.