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I started providing care for a new family last week. They are here 4 days a week from 7:30-4:15. The older daughter was being homeschooled (she's 8 & in second grade). In the fall they plan to enroll her in a private school. So they are continuing with the homeschooling. During our initial interview I opened my big mouth & said I could assist with the HS. I NEVER said I could do it all. But now I feel a lot of pressure based on notes the mom is sending me. When I said I would help I thought oh one day I can do spelling, the next day math & mom & dad will finish the rest at home. Uh, no. They follow a curriculum for the schooling & they send EVERYTHING with them to me. They do realize I have 2 or 3 other children here depending on what day it is in addition to my own toddler. So my only time to work on it is my only time of day for downtime (naptime). Mom told me it typically takes 1.5-2 hrs to do it all. I told her outright I would set a time (30-45 min) a day but beyond that I couldn't complete it all. I don't mind helping her with it; it is sort of fun. But I feel a lot of pressure that they expect me to get it all done here. Another aspect that concerns me is I have two school age kids of my own. One is in 2nd grade like this girl the other is in K. My K age son reads as well as this girl. I wonder if the mom realizes that the daughter is behind. Ahhhh. Does anyone have any suggestions? Like I said I do not have a problem helping her but it's not like I am getting paid extra to give up most of my time to eat lunch/tidy up & catch a break. I had planned on the daughter doing some of the schooling on her own while I did these things but she requires a lot of guidance.
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I would tell her exactly what you told us. In a fashion of course. Just tell her that you do not mind helping her with spelling words (which I dont believe in but that is my own issue)
. That you can make sure she reads to you but any academic work that needs one on one attention needs done at home.
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Sounds like they do expect a lot from you. I also have a time after-school where the older kids will do school work and I will help them with questions. I set this time to coincide with a quiet activity or free play for the younger ones so that if a child has homework questions I can help. I also, however, make it clear that it is only meant as "help". I had a parent that expected her third-grader to have his homework finished by the time he was picked up at 5. I had to remind her that I can only assist and even then I could only help on homework during the 45 minute free-play/quiet activity but that I also had to spread my attention evenly to the other kids in the daycare. She could then help him finish his homework when they got home. Just smile but be firm. Kill 'em with kindness and they'll see they are expecting a lot.Comment
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Not A Good Idea
I homeschooled my kids for a time, and depending on what state you live in, it may even be illegal for her to have you doing the bulk or majority of their homeschool work.
In either case, I wouldn't do it, period. You said you have a toddler of your own plus other daycare kids? Not fair to them. The mom needs to do the HOME schooling at HOME.
I think you're a doll for even offering to help with it, and it sounds like she's taking advantage!Comment
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It's never comfortable when you need to tell a mom they expect too much from you. It's a hard place to be in, especially since they are new and you're trying to still form that parent/caregiver bond.
I don't think it's at all fair for you to do it all...and for her to expect that is not right. You are a daycare provider, getting paid a lot less than a teacher I would assume (I know I do!!). You don't get paid enough to do an entire curriculum on one child.
Maybe you could let her know you have to make some adjustments to accomodate ALL the kids in your care, including your own, and you are going to create your own daycare curriculum and won't be able to do a single child curriculum because the other kids are left out.
If she's sincere, she'll understand....if not, it's not worth busting your butt over...it's one thing to help, but another to expect too much out of one caregiver when there is a handful of other kids to look after.Comment
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Agreed
Very well said my4sunshinegirlsny!Comment
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I homeschooled my daughters for 9 years. Homeschool means school at HOME! If mom can't do it, then she needs to hire someone to teach her daughter, not send her to daycare.
That mother is taking advantage of you, and as was mentioned before, possibly breaking the law. She knew her daughter was unable to work on her own when she sent her to you.Comment
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Thanks ladies for all your replies. I truly appreciate the perspective.
Not sure how I plan to handle this. I was doing what I considered the "easy" schoolwork & leaving the rest to do at home. Anyway, when mom came in yesterday (they are her Tue-Fri) her note with the schoolwork said something about how she would appreciate me doing the subjects that are hardest (not hardest but that the girl needs to focus on more). I guess I am really feeling like this is TOO much. I admit I am a people pleaser & want to be helpful. I think for now I will just stick with what I am doing which is helping her for 30 min a day. I write down what we get done for mom to see & I also write "no time for anything else" after I have written what we've completed. And it's totally true b/c I won't deny myself the chance for a break.
My4Sunshinegirls, thanks for your insight. It is hard to tell mom that this is too much! I had told her it was overwhelming (big clue, mom!) the first day she dropped off her big backpack of books & she's mentioned that what we don't do here she will do at home. I also told her that I would only work so long with her. But I still feel the pressure nonetheless. I think I will talk with her tomorrow though. It is seriously stesssing me out!Comment
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I plan on homeschooling my two girls and have 4 kids I care for in my home daycare. THey are still young, but when they get older I plan on doing the bulk of the teaching/instructing during naptime and they can do individual work at other times during the day. This is a priority for me and our family so I give up my "break" during nap for that. However, I think this mom is expecting too much of you. Like someone else said...the mom knew she would need a lot of direction and If I were you I wouldnt give up my naptime to devote to working with her either. It is the parents responsibility to teach her and they should hire a tutor if they dont have time for it. Just keep doing what you are doing--whatever little things you have time for-- and send the rest home. The mom will get the hint sooner or later. At least we HOPE!!Comment
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A simple note explaining.Thanks ladies for all your replies. I truly appreciate the perspective. Not sure how I plan to handle this. I was doing what I considered the "easy" schoolwork & leaving the rest to do at home. Anyway, when mom came in yesterday (they are her Tue-Fri) her note with the schoolwork said something about how she would appreciate me doing the subjects that are hardest (not hardest but that the girl needs to focus on more). I guess I am really feeling like this is TOO much. I admit I am a people pleaser & want to be helpful. I think for now I will just stick with what I am doing which is helping her for 30 min a day. I write down what we get done for mom to see & I also write "no time for anything else" after I have written what we've completed. And it's totally true b/c I won't deny myself the chance for a break.
My4Sunshinegirls, thanks for your insight. It is hard to tell mom that this is too much! I had told her it was overwhelming (big clue, mom!) the first day she dropped off her big backpack of books & she's mentioned that what we don't do here she will do at home. I also told her that I would only work so long with her. But I still feel the pressure nonetheless. I think I will talk with her tomorrow though. It is seriously stesssing me out!
Word it like this:
When you first came here, I agreed to help with your choice to HOME school your child, but maybe I wasn't clear....I am not a full time teacher, nor am I tutor...nor are you being charged for one. I agreed to HELP YOU, not do everything FOR YOU. I am a daycare provider, which means my primary function is to provide a safe, clean, healthy place for yours and others children to be when they are at work.
My first priority is to that duty, and I think I need to clarify that if that duty leaves me with little or no time to assist in your family's choice of education, then maybe my daycare is not the right choice for you.
While this may seem harsh, please keep in mind that the fees you are paying me are for child care, not a teaching position....you children are receiving the exact same care as anyone else's kids in my home, and if anything, getting more and taking time from other kids because of this demand you have placed upon me. I don't feel it's fair to me, your child, or the other children.Spouse of a daycare provider....which I guess makes me one too!
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Janarae,
In Ohio, the laws state that for homeschooled children, the PARENTS must be the primary educators for their children. They can hire professionally certified teachers to cover a subject or two such as math or science or health, but the predominate and majority of the education MUST be done by the parents.
You are breaking the law (along with the parents) by taking on the schooling of this child. And I really hate to see you get yourself in trouble with the state when annual testing (and homeschooled children in Ohio must take annual placement tests) is done and it's reported that the majority of this child's schooling was done at daycare.
I would simply inform the parents that Ohio State Law prohibits *you* from educating their child, and with that information, you can no longer do it. That simply stated.
Good luck to you,
From one Buckeye to another
Hugs
PammieComment
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Thanks everyone! In essence I did tell her I would not be able to complete all the work. I told her that I would certainly help, if able, but that I couldn't be responsible for the bulk of it. I don't think she was too pleased which frankly ticks me off b/c I felt like I was doing a favor to offer to help her daughter with it. I told her I would help her read & with some of the math. But the science/history/other lessons would need to be done at home. She actually said something about how it would be nice if she could complete it here (as in all of it). I don't think she understands what it is like to have 4-5 preschoolers in your home everyday. I simply don't have the time & I need to take a break too. She & I attended the same small college together so we were acquaintances (both English majors). I am sure that was why she felt I would be a good choice to help her daughter BUT she came to me for childcare services NOT for tutoring/schooling. I should tell her (jokingly, b/c I really don't have the time) that if she wants me to do all the HS I would be happy to if she pays me an extra $20/hr for all time put in.:: The funny part is I actually gave her daughter a slight discount b/c she is older & I thought she would be less trouble. Turns out I should be raising her rate! My husband agreed with me that if the mom gives me any trouble about it he is okay with me ditching them. I really don't need the stress of this mom coming in looking to see if we completed all the assignments or not.
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I will have to mention this to the mom. Thank you! Can you give me any resources that support this? Thank you in advance. Go Bucks!Janarae,
In Ohio, the laws state that for homeschooled children, the PARENTS must be the primary educators for their children. They can hire professionally certified teachers to cover a subject or two such as math or science or health, but the predominate and majority of the education MUST be done by the parents.
You are breaking the law (along with the parents) by taking on the schooling of this child. And I really hate to see you get yourself in trouble with the state when annual testing (and homeschooled children in Ohio must take annual placement tests) is done and it's reported that the majority of this child's schooling was done at daycare.
I would simply inform the parents that Ohio State Law prohibits *you* from educating their child, and with that information, you can no longer do it. That simply stated.
Good luck to you,
From one Buckeye to another
Hugs
PammieComment
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