Here's a Topic...

[Christian Mother]

I've got into a little debate about children behaving them selves in public. Well I stand that children should be disciplined from the start...meaning early age. I am with Nan on not allowing a child to be a parent...it's not good for them nor anyone for that matter. But others say that it's not a child's fault nor the parents that its the gov'ts or another parent that doesn't believe its right to spank or another to discipline...got me going bonkers. Nannyde you have funny but great advise about parents taking charge of situations when a child is out of control out in public...let it rip girlie!! Ohhh... and of course everyone else please!!::::

[momma4many]

Oh, I love this topic! I am a very new provider, so I am anxiously awaiting posts to this one

[Kaddidle Care]

I child NEEDS a Parent. They'll make plenty of FRIENDS in life.

I don't get today's parents - I'm old school too. If my child misbehaved in public, I removed him from public. I did not subject other people to my child's noise and I don't appreciate other people allowing their children to wreck my shopping trip!

[AfterSchoolMom]

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/05/granderson.bratty.kids/index.html?iref=allsearch

I saw this yesterday and I was going to post it in a new thread, but definitely think it relates here. One of the best articles I've seen in awhile!

[Christian Mother]

I am sooo right with you on that!! I have no problem picking up my child in full tantrum out of where ever we are at. Most likely time for nap but I've been really good at tuning out the noise in the car and head straight home. I am a people watcher so I love to see how parents react to there children out of control and how they deal with it. It would be cool if others pass by and give a thumbs up when parents deal with it correctly and don't let it slide. I think we need that encouragement to straighten our back bones. !! Ashually Afterschoolmom that is exactly what i was ref. as that is what we are discussing on FB. I just forgot to cut and paste. There was one person on the blog that thought the guy was condescending and inappropriate in his philosophy. I ashually thought he was right on!! The article guy no fb guy

[littlemissmuffet]

I child NEEDS a Parent. They'll make plenty of FRIENDS in life.

I don't get today's parents - I'm old school too. If my child misbehaved in public, I removed him from public. I did not subject other people to my child's noise and I don't appreciate other people allowing their children to wreck my shopping trip!

Total agreement. Old school here too.

[jessrlee]

I'm with you all. I HATE it when kids act up in public and parents don't say a word!

[AfterSchoolMom]

I have a friend with a 3yo that allows her child to do ANYTHING in public - he screams, throws things, runs around, hits, etc...and when she tells him to stop he looks at her with a raised eyebrow and does it again anyway.

It makes me simultaneously embarrassed and irate. People are always staring at us in public and there's not a darn thing I can do because he isn't mine to parent. Were he mine, that behavior would NOT continue. In fact, when I watch him, he doesn't behave that way because he knows I won't tolerate it. It's all for her benefit. They try to be friends with him, she constantly gives him his way, and she even apologizes to him for punishing him.

My own children know that it's my way or the highway. They were never given an option. If they even started to throw a tantrum, we left whatever we were doing. I've left restaurants, movies, playground...but usually never more than once, because they learned that that sort of behavior = missing out on fun stuff. They probably think I'm "mean". You know what? I don't care, because I'm teaching them to be responsible for their own actions.

I see so much disrespect in kids these days, and it's definitely because of this new "parenting style".

[Kaddidle Care]

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/0...iref=allsearch

I saw this yesterday and I was going to post it in a new thread, but definitely think it relates here. One of the best articles I've seen in awhile!

Oh wow! I'm so glad to see that I'm not alone with this type of thinking. His example in a movie theater is exactly what I'm talking about.

[youretooloud]

I won't spank any child. Not mine or anybody else's. I don't think spanking is necessary.

But, I won't tolerate crap from any child either. I won't sit in public while my child has a tantrum. He or she can have that same tantrum in the car while I sit on the bumper and look at my cell phone or text random people. I will not pander to a tantrum.

I am understanding and sympathetic to the tantrum. I try to let the child know that I am OK that they are mad, and I wish I could help... I'd be happy to help. But, once it's in meltdown stage... we are going to the car. Knock on the window when you are done... I'll be out here.

I don't punish. Ever. But, I do make it darn uncomfortable if I don't like the behavior. "Aww.. you are too tired to help pick up the toys? Then, you must need a nap... see you in two hours...rest up, cuz that mess will still be here when you wake up".

I don't get into power struggles. If it's not important to me, I let the child make the choice. If it is important to me, I say what's going to happen, and they don't argue because kids know I mean what I say, and say what I mean. If I say "Well, then I won't buy you this toy if you don't stop acting like that" then I've already lost. I will never understand parents who make useless threats. "Do you need a spanking when we go home?... I think you need a spanking.... that's it, when we go home, you are getting a spanking".... seriously? Either spank the kid, or be quiet! We all know he's not getting a spanking, in fact, you will probably buy him candy before you leave...so, stop threatening, because it makes you look like an idiot.

[familyschoolcare]

when my children where young i encouraged the tantrum. told my daughter on more than one occasion that I was not impressed because she was only turning one shade of purple. She only had that phase in her life for about 6 months. My children no longer have attitude in public because they know that if they do that i will mirror it back and load it is embarrassing to them and I do get looks from other parents. When another parent looks at me like what are you doing I would turn to them and say did I get that right they usually laughed.

[Kaddidle Care]

I have a friend with a 3yo that allows her child to do ANYTHING in public - he screams, throws things, runs around, hits, etc...and when she tells him to stop he looks at her with a raised eyebrow and does it again anyway.

It makes me simultaneously embarrassed and irate. People are always staring at us in public and there's not a darn thing I can do because he isn't mine to parent. Were he mine, that behavior would NOT continue. In fact, when I watch him, he doesn't behave that way because he knows I won't tolerate it. It's all for her benefit. They try to be friends with him, she constantly gives him his way, and she even apologizes to him for punishing him.

Walk away and tell your friend that you will return when she's taken back control of her child. Maybe she will wake up. Being that you watch children on a day to day basis, she will respect your opinion.

[nannyde]

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/0...iref=allsearch

I saw this yesterday and I was going to post it in a new thread, but definitely think it relates here. One of the best articles I've seen in awhile!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

That was a GREAT article.

He is SPOT on. The only thing I have a disagreement with is that it has anything to do with divorce. I don't get his connection there.

I loved the part where he spoke about kids hitting their parents.

"I have seen a small child slap her mother in the face with an open hand, only to be met with "Honey, don't hit Mommy." I have seen kids tell their parents "Shut up" and "Leave me alone" at the top of their lungs -- and they are not put in check. I shake my head knowing it's only going to get worse from here."


and

"Parents who expect complete strangers to just deal with it are not doing anyone, including their children, any favors."


STANDING ... CLAPPING... CHEERING

It's time to shout from the roof tops: It's not about you or your kid. I don't want to be around it. I don't want to see a child slap his mother. I don't want to listen to them tell you to shut up.

It's time to SHUN this kind of parental behavior.... cuz that's what it is. It's the PARENTS acting up in public when they allow their kid to act up in public.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I have so many problems with SA's now because by the time they get to be school aged, this kind of behavior has escalated to the point where they have no respect for authority whatsoever. When I bring up their bad behavior to the parents, I get responses like "well, I sure wish I knew what to do to make it stop". You should have thought about that 3-4 years ago, then you wouldn't have these issues!

[sharlan]

I so agree. I love kids but I hate to be surrounded by monsters in public.

If you can't control them at 2, how do you expect to control them at 16?