Breastfeeding Moms and Daycare

[PeanutsGalore]

for those us us who have breastfed, once baby sees mommy, there will be no bottle feeding,
If I had to go somewhere and leave my baby with dh, it would go o.k. with the expressed milk but the moment I walked in the door, she cried and wanted to nurse.
I love these families! They go far and above for me because I go far and above for them. I am really good at picking families now, it's like I have a "user" radar or something now, I haven't always had it!!! believe me

I need the radar, too. Can you bottle that ability and sell it, please?!

My own son was going to object to bottle feeding until he tasted the milk pouring out. He didn't have any problem with the bottle after that! He still prefers me if I'm nearby, but so long as he's with someone who will work with him, I ignore the crying and let them settle him down. He's a toddler. He can handle it.

I think there are ways to help a child take a bottle. Don't know quite what they are yet, but I know there are ways.

[GG~DAYCARE]

Not to hijack.... just wondering:

Are there any providers who have done day care full time for ten or more years consequtively who currently have breast feeding moms come and feed their child during the day.... at drop off... pick up... or mid day?

If you don't have this currently... have you allowed it within the last year?

If you do allow it currently or within the last year... can you tell me what your average daily census is NOT including your own children or school aged kids.

IIRC Crystal has more than ten years and does allow it. Anyone else?

I have been doing home day care for 27 years. A few months ago a new Mom asked if she could come at lunchtime to nurse her baby and I have allowed it. This is the first time in all my years that a mom has asked this. Some days it has been disruptive as she nursed in my day care room but most days it has been fine. The problem now is the baby doesn't want to nurse when Mom comes. She is too distracted. I think Mom is realizing that this may be the end to the lunch time nursing. She pumps during the day and I think it is more for her( to come nurse) than it is for her baby. The baby is perfectly fine drinking from the bottle here!!!
I have 5 kids in my care. One child leaves at noon. One gets off the sped bus at 12:20 so the time the Mom comes is chaotic anyway!
** Since most of my kids are teachers kids, I only have the baby and a 3 yr old for the summer so it has been easier.

[Michelle]

I need the radar, too. Can you bottle that ability and sell it, please?!

My own son was going to object to bottle feeding until he tasted the milk pouring out. He didn't have any problem with the bottle after that! He still prefers me if I'm nearby, but so long as he's with someone who will work with him, I ignore the crying and let them settle him down. He's a toddler. He can handle it.

I think there are ways to help a child take a bottle. Don't know quite what they are yet, but I know there are ways.

I will send you my "user" radar abilities if you can teach me how to feed a breastfed baby easily!!

[Country Kids]

OK, here is what are requirement is for parents=The provider must allow custodial parents or legal guardians of child care children access to the HOME during the hours their child(ren)are in care.

So take that how you want. I interperet as you have to allow parents into your home when their child is in your care. I also take it to mean you aren't allowed to meet them in the front door and do a hand off.

[nannyde]

OK, here is what are requirement is for parents=The provider must allow custodial parents or legal guardians of child care children access to the HOME during the hours their child(ren)are in care.

So take that how you want. I interperet as you have to allow parents into your home when their child is in your care. I also take it to mean you aren't allowed to meet them in the front door and do a hand off.

I don't take it that way. I think it means that you have to allow them in the home not THROUGH the home to stay as long as they want whenever they want.

I would ALWAYS allow a parent in my home. If they wanted to do a quick tour of the house to do a safety check and count kids I would be more than happy to oblige. I have no problem with that. I've never had parents that want to do that but I have had parents who want to come and watch their kids play toys with the other kids and watch us care for the kids. I don't allow that.

[Blackcat31]

ac·cess   /ˈæksɛs/ [ak-ses]

–noun
1. the ability, right, or permission to approach, enter, speak with, or admittance: They have access to the files.
2. the state or quality of being approachable: The house was difficult to access.
3. a way or means of approach: The only access to the house was a rough dirt road.
–verb (used with object)
9. to make contact with or gain access to; be able to reach, approach, etc.


I actually called my licensor this morning to ask how she interpretted the word access and she said that parents have a right to enter the home/childcare center and retrieve their child. She also said that no where in our licensing rules does it say we are obligated (morally, ethically or legally) to allow a parent past our entry/door way. She said access means they can come pick up their child at any time they want without being told no or being made to wait until a certain time. She said the words mean that we cannot withold a child from their parent. It really has nothing to do with access to our entire homes or centers, it has to do with access to their child.

That is how I have always read it too. So in my state, handing the child off at the doorway constitutes complying with the rules. Whether that is the right thing to do or not, I don't know but as far as I am concerned it is within the guidelines of my licensing rules so.....

[Country Kids]

I was going to call my licensor today also and ask the same question! So if the the parents can come anytime to pick up up their child what about the providers that say you cannot come during naptime. According to what you were told they are saying NO you cannot come and get your child and YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME. Both of those according to your licensor are wrong or illegal (however you want to look at it). Also, even if it is in your handbook that you don't allow pickup during naptime would the state make you change it because you aren't allowing access to the child?

[Blackcat31]

I was going to call my licensor today also and ask the same question! So if the the parents can come anytime to pick up up their child what about the providers that say you cannot come during naptime. According to what you were told they are saying NO you cannot come and get your child and YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME. Both of those according to your licensor are wrong or illegal (however you want to look at it). Also, even if it is in your handbook that you don't allow pickup during naptime would the state make you change it because you aren't allowing access to the child?

As a general rule I ask that there be no pickups or drop offs during nap time since it is disruptive. However, it would be illegal to not allow it if a parent wished to do so. Again, if that is a regular time a parent wished to drop off or pick up, I would simply not enroll them into my program as it doesn't work with how I do things.

So basically, just because I ask doesn't mean they can't. KWIM? I keep parents who can oblige me in this request. If they can't, then I just don't take them.

I do want to make it clear though that I will allow a parent to come during nap time if it is a one time thing or something that can not be avoided as long as it is on a rare occassion and NOT part of their normal schedule.

So yes, in response to your question, if I told a parent "No, you cannot have your child" when they came to pick up (whether it was because it was too early for pick up or because it was nap time) it would be illegal and/or wrong.

[nannyde]

ac·cess   /ˈæksɛs/ [ak-ses]

–noun
1. the ability, right, or permission to approach, enter, speak with, or admittance: They have access to the files.
2. the state or quality of being approachable: The house was difficult to access.
3. a way or means of approach: The only access to the house was a rough dirt road.
–verb (used with object)
9. to make contact with or gain access to; be able to reach, approach, etc.


I actually called my licensor this morning to ask how she interpretted the word access and she said that parents have a right to enter the home/childcare center and retrieve their child. She also said that no where in our licensing rules does it say we are obligated (morally, ethically or legally) to allow a parent past our entry/door way. She said access means they can come pick up their child at any time they want without being told no or being made to wait until a certain time. She said the words mean that we cannot withold a child from their parent. It really has nothing to do with access to our entire homes or centers, it has to do with access to their child.

That is how I have always read it too. So in my state, handing the child off at the doorway constitutes complying with the rules. Whether that is the right thing to do or not, I don't know but as far as I am concerned it is within the guidelines of my licensing rules so.....

Alot of the misconception of this is the media, parenting books, child care experts, and resource and refferrals hammer the concept that parents should go unnanounced/unexpected at random times and STAY to watch what's going on. That's actually the number one piece of advice for parents of kids in home care.

Look at it at the two minute mark:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkCNF-S3Y_Q

[Cat Herder]

Alot of the misconception of this is the media, parenting books, child care experts, and resource and refferrals hammer the concept that parents should go unnanounced/unexpected at random times and STAY to watch what's going on. That's actually the number one piece of advice for parents of kids in home care.

That is because the States want them in the federally funded programs so they can get that federal grant money. (same reason they are targeting homeschool, virtual schools and charter schools)

That grant money does not come with enough regulations and they can freely move it around into their general funds and leave providers hanging whenever it suits them.

Look at all the threads about State paid programs halting payments... Costs almost always outweigh childrens needs at the State level.

[Blackcat31]

Alot of the misconception of this is the media, parenting books, child care experts, and resource and refferrals hammer the concept that parents should go unnanounced/unexpected at random times and STAY to watch what's going on. That's actually the number one piece of advice for parents of kids in home care.

Look at it at the two minute mark:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkCNF-S3Y_Q

I completely understand what they are saying but honestly if I had a family who had a busy-body of a Grandma showing up unannounced on a regular basis, I would feel completely untrusted and THAT alone would make me not want to have that family. It is one thing for custodial parents to drop by unannounce, which I actually tell them they are allowed to do, (just make sure little Timmy goes with you when you leave ) but if their extended family members felt the need to do it too then my place is not the place for them.

I have nothing to hide in my day and every parent is welcome to spontaneously drop in whenever they wish. Also as I already mentioned......too many "drop-ins" to check up on me is NOT a trusting relationship and I like to think that I build a trusting relationship with my families. They trust me to properly care for their child and I trust that they will abide by my rules.

I also think it is important for parents to understand that we have rules as home providers for alot of reasons and if a parent wanted to know why we do what we do, I would glady explain how little things effect our day. I would gladly explain to them that random drop ins by extended family members makes daily routine and fitting in for a kid really tough...

I mean, why are parents and grandparents not dropping into public classroooms all across the country to check up on their children? You cannot even go past the front door of a public school now without signing in at the office and verifying who you are. :confused: Family childcare providers provide services in their homes...people shouldn't be allowed to abuse the word access and the fact that it is a home that someone else lives in. They can have their child ANYTIME they ask but they cannot just come barging in and expect to be allowed to.....I don't know, hang around and act as though they live there too...kwim?

[nannyde]

That is because the States want them in the federally funded programs so they can get that federal grant money. (same reason they are targeting homeschool, virtual schools and charter schools)

That grant money does not come with enough regulations and they can freely move it around into their general funds and leave providers hanging whenever it suits them.

Look at all the threads about State paid programs halting payments... Costs almost always outweigh childrens needs at the State level.

To me her statements are SO loaded.

I have the capacity of eight kids. Those eight kids come with a total of 32 biological grandparents. That's not counting step grandparents. That's a TON of people who could just drop in unnanounced at any time and make their own mind up about your child care.

With her age I'm assuming this happened a long time ago but in this day and age I can't imagine allowing that. She's not even THINKING about how unsafe the whole premise of her story is.

Then the idea that a grandparent could come in and have the skill set to evaluate your business to the point of having the power to do what she said she did... pull the kid. That's mind blowing to me.

There's just no thought to this at all.

If providers WANT to have a fully open child care and any relative... any parent... come and stay whenever they want for however long they want then that's cool by me. You will always hear of stories about providers who do this successfully... can pick out the parents who won't abuse it... who operate as a family with the parents... who have OTHER daycare parents that are cool with anyone being around their kids as long as they are "in the family"...

But in most cases... my experience is that MOST providers who allow the unlocked door and access meaning whenever you want for as long as you want... HATE IT and feel like they HAVE to do it to get and keep customers.

[nannyde]

I mean, why are parents and grandparents not dropping into public classroooms all across the country to check up on their children? You cannot even go past the front door of a public school now without signing in at the office and verifying who you are. :confused: Family childcare providers provide services in their homes...people shouldn't be allowed to abuse the word access and the fact that it is a home that someone else lives in. They can have their child ANYTIME they ask but they cannot just come barging in and expect to be allowed to.....I don't know, hang around and act as though they live there too...kwim?

I watch two centers and I'm really surprised at how short the drop offs and pick ups are. I have been at it for about six months and I can't even think of a time when I've seen a parent hanging out for more than a few minutes. I can pick the parents out pretty quickly in a room. Whenever one is hanging out I call the center to find out who it is. It's almost always a parent who KNOWS the staff assistant in the room and is visiting with that staff assistant.

When I do see a parent hanging out for a LONG time I always find out it is a parent who is getting a free visit in the room. They are usually in and out of the room and/or they have a staff assistant to visit with. The staff can often feel burdened by the visit because the kids act up and it messes with their day mojo.

Now these parents have online access to view their kid but I watch these rooms every day and I can assure you that you can only see so much. I have a trained eye and a HUGE database of info on kids and the care of kids and I have to work HARD to understand what I'm seeing. There's no way the parents see what I see a fraction of what I see every day. There's NO WAY it shows them how affectionate the staff are, how they discipline, how they manage a group of kids, how they talk to each other, etc. It's a very small percentage of info and that info has to be processed. It is NOTHING like being in the room and hanging out.

They have the chance to come anytime and stay for as long as they want but they don't. The rooms are loud and it gets boring after a while. The staff aren't interested in having "my child" conversations with them unless the staff already knows the parent. The staff doesn't work for the parents so performing for them isn't an issue. They know they are more valuable to the business than any one kids money.

So when they CAN come and go as they please and stay as long as the please they don't. The dynamic to me seems more about parents getting attention from the provider... getting to do the "i'm the boss of you"... getting to do "my child" with someone who WILL do it because rent depends on it... and getting to watch "my child" with my child's friends. When the staff could care less, there are a bunch of kids in the room, and their money doesn't affect the bottom line of the center for more than a half percent... then pop in visits aren't such a big deal. The private lounge for feeding is unused. The drop offs and pick ups are super quick.

I don't blame the parents for do the drop and run or pick up and run. The noise level alone is mind numbing to me. I'm not saying they should... I'm saying... from what I see they don't.

Are there any providers on here that work in a Center of over 100 kids who have parents come and hang out? I can see it in small centers because they have a higher percentage of the income of the business... but in situations where they are one percent or less of the income??????? Do they come in unnanounced and hang out when they don't personally know the staff?

Cathearder????? Does that happen?

[Blackcat31]

Right on Nan!! Another perfect example of simply wanting what they can't have and not wanting what is provided. Much like children.

I also agree 100% of what ever it is the parents observe is never a true and accurate picture of what the day is really like. Kids always act up when anyone (even people not related) new comes into the picture....for example, food program lady, licensor, another kids parents, etc... It is sooo much more.

THAT in my opinion is why I need to have that trusting relationship with the families I care for.

[Cat Herder]

Do they come in unnanounced and hang out when they don't personally know the staff?

Cathearder????? Does that happen?

No, in my experience they drop the kid in their room and hang out by the directors desk to gossip if they hang out at all. Things like "Johnny's Mom drives an escalade and can't even dress her kids right, I saw that shirt at walmart when I was buying dog food. You know where she gets her money, don't you?". I DO NOT miss that.

Occasionally you will see one or two who will peek into their child's room without being seen from the hallway, but that typically only follows a bite or scratch on their child since the provider cannot legally tell which kid did what.

Once they feel they have identified the kid, they set in on pointing out/blowing out of proportion everything that kid does in their presence as they now view him/her as "their child's nemesis".

In the absolute worst cases of this Mothers came to blows in the parking lot and police had to be called. Ridiculous...even the toddlers were looking embarrassed by their behavior.