Divorce Concerns

[Greenshadow]

I am planning on a divorce in the near future. I would like to ask those of you who are providers that have had a divorce while being a provider, did it hurt your job to be dealing with a divorce?

I worry if the parents are going to be concerned that the fighting or bickering or stress and tension levels are going to go up and decide when I tell them to pull their children from my care.

I have told one parent already and she told me that she supported me in whatever choices I make and she seemed to take it fairly well. Over the course of my caring for her two children, we have become "friends" to a degree. We do not go out together, I do not visit her home, but we have begun to talk more on a personal level about things. I have been watching these children for a year and a half. I have another mom to tell too and her son started about the same time as the others; over a year and a half ago. We have become "friends" too and I've been to her home to help her yard sale and I did a photo shoot for her as I am also a photographer.

Should I worry? Because I am a little bit.

[laundrymom]

I di,... And amazingly when he moved out he took daytime stress with him. :-)

[Michelle]

I don't think it's any of their business!
I would just keep things professional.
If the parents ask where your husband is just tell them you sold him to a traveling circus!::::
just keep things light and don't confide in them

[Greenshadow]

LOL.

I do not see a whole lot of fighting or bickering that will be going on with this divorce. Its something thats been brewing for a while now. Im just at a place in my life where it makes sense to me to move forward with it now.

But the parents don't always realize that. They assume things and they can make mountains out of mole hills, in their heads, and I don't want that to happen.

[daycare]

I don't think it's any of their business!
I would just keep things professional.
If the parents ask where your husband is just tell them you sold him to a traveling circus!::::
just keep things light and don't confide in them

I agree with this. its none of their business and you should not be sharing your issues with them.

BTW not all divorces involve fighting, yelling and so on.

I think that you should wait until it happens and when you husband leaves just let them ask you, or tell them at that time if you feel you need to.

I don't share anything personal with any of my DCF.

[Meyou]

I went through a divorce while doing daycare. I informed the families when we knew the date he was moving out. They were all very supportive of me and it didn't affect my business at all other than I was significantly happier. That and I had more energy because I dropped 50lb in the first 6 months because I could finally get the junk food out of my house.

[Greenshadow]

I guess I run my business, because its small, on a more personal level. I am open and honest with my parents because they'd know something was up and ask anyway. I have a 3 year old; he'd end up saying something before I'd be able to tell them when my husband moved out. Things like that. I have already told one parent and she is fine with it. I guess I wanted more opinions on how it effected your business.

[sharlan]

My parents have supported me through two bouts of breast cancer, a one year seperation, and the raising of two teenagers. They knew what was going on, I didn't let any of them become an issue.

[squareone]

I agree with the posters who say it's none of their business. At the very least, I would not bring it up and just wait until they ask because even though you are worried, it might be a seamless transition for your parents (unless he usually helps you with the kids or something). Depending on how big a town you live in, they will probably hear it through the grapevine. Then, if they ask you, just confirm or deny that you are divorcing and leave it at that.

Another reason I wouldn't say anything is because even though you sound pretty sure about this, you and your husband might ultimately decide to work it out. Then you would have spilled the beans unecessarily and may then appear wishy washy to your daycare parents. Just my 2 cents.

[DEBBIES DAYCARE]

I went through a divorce years ago and it did not affect my business. Some of my closer parents asked me if I was ok. Anyone who sees you everyday and knows you on a personal level, especially in your home, knows when something is wrong. I told them I was having some marital issues and didnt elaborate. Im sure they trusted me that I wouldnt fight or cry in front of the kids and I didnt, of coarse. I never voluteered any information, as I do think its unprofessional to talk about your troubles to your clients, but was honest when asked. When he moved out, I did announce it. I bet every one of them has gone through it themselves, at least a break up if not a divorce and wont judge. Sadly, every child in my daycare is from a divorced family, except for the young ones who never married.
Im sorry for your trouble. Whether its the right thing to do, and you are sure of it, the end of a marriage is a sad and dissapointing thing, no matter what. I wish you peace and happiness.

[littlemissmuffet]

Hi Greenshadow!

I'm glad that you are getting out of a situation you are not comfortable with! I hope everything works out well for you when all is said and done, and you will be much happier for it in the end!

I have gone through all sorts of personal turmoils, and I disagree with the previous posters who say "it's none of their business" - the parents I am close to always know when something's up and we talk - there's nothing wrong with that - all my parents are very supportive of me, my family and our lives. So, if your comfortable letting them know "Hey, hubs and I are getting a divorce, just wanted to give you a heads up because he won't be around anymore..." or whatever, go for it. I very much doubt any parent is going to pull their kid. If there is no fighting, no craziness going on in the house that the kids will witness, I think it's a non-issue.

Best of luck!

[Sugar Magnolia]

i don't think it's any of their business!
I would just keep things professional.
If the parents ask where your husband is just tell them you sold him to a traveling circus!::::
Just keep things light and don't confide in them

****like!****

[jen]

I got divorced while I was doing daycare...funny story...

I didn't really tell anyone. I hadn't really been doing daycare all that long. Anyway, one of my dcp commented that she hadn't seen my hubby around, asked if he was busy at work, etc. I just said, "yep, he's been working alot."

In walks my my oldest who says, "Yeah, that and he doesn't live here anymore." He was eight, I was speechless!!!

I didn't affect daycare at all. Good luck!