Not Sure What To Do

[Country Kids]

I have two children in my care-child A and Child B both are 2. Child A comes everyday and child B comes about 4 days a week. Both are wonderful children seperate from each other but when together run me for my money. Child A is a totally different child when they are together-will only communicate with loud screaming, into everything, tells me no all the time, and basically wont listen. Child B is very bossy, bangs on everything, and wont listen. They are only like this when they are together and angels when here by themselves (if child A is gone for some reason). I'm really not sure what to do-it makes everyone miserable, dck, my family and me. Terming isn't exactly what I want to do because they are both wonderful families and wouldn't be sure how to do it because families are best friends. Any ideas?

[Zoe]

Have you tried making them play separately? Maybe the fun of misbehaving won't be so appealing when they're by themselves. Don't let them play together until they can behave properly.

[wdmmom]

Tell them

"Indoor voices" or "Don't yell"

If they don't stop and learn to get along, separate them.

When one is in the playroom, 1 is in a play yard in another room and vice versa until they can learn to follow the rules.

I have 2 boys that are a year apart...2 and 3 yo, they tend to yell too...even if they are only 3 feet from one another. Turn everything into a game with a reward. Who's the quietest? Who's the friendliest? Who's the best behaved? Who's the best napper? etc.

[sharlan]

Gee, I could have written that. The problem is mine are cousins (3 & 4), AND my grandsons. They are together a lot. They're either best friends or worst enemies. There is no in between with them. We tried everything, but ended up putting them each in preschool 2 days a week so they were only together 1. For the last month, they've been getting along better.

When they are acting up with the fighting, kicking, biting, screaming, I make one play in the playroom and the other one in the family room, no interacting.

[Blackcat31]

I have two 3.5 yr old daycare boys like this. They fight over everything!

Instead of trying to solve their fights and squabbles, I simply tell them to put away whatever it is they are playing with until they can find a way to get along. After a while, they figure out they play together with things or sit alone with nothing.

They have to figure it out themselves. It is all part of growing up and learning to deal with others in a social setting where we do not always like the other person but must be respectful and compromise.

If you just separate them, they learn that you will manipulate the word to fit them. I would work on building sharing and compormising skills with them so they have the tools to manipulate themsleves to fit into the world.

Give them suggestions on how to share; Child A gets toy for 10 minutes and then B gets it, and then suggest a third option is playing nice together with no time limit. After a while you will find that you will have to give less and less cues on how to share and they will begin to figure out how to get along themselves. You only need to teach the tools and provide the environment. You cannot make them get along.