Food Strike...That Seems To Be Catching

[AmandasFCC]

Yeah I agree with Former Teacher, I wouldn't be using a treat in this case. What I have done with my 4 year old misbehavers is, as Former Teacher said, a stern talking to. Sit nicely at the table, and eat if you want, don't eat if you don't want. If you misbehave, your plate is removed and you are sent to the hall until we go downstairs for quiet time.

I had 2 at one point that fed off of each other's bad behaviour. So the first one to misbehave was sent to the hall. No warnings past the first stern talking to. They got the picture very quickly.

I also agree with other pp's stating that allowing him to go read books appears to be a reward.

[DCMom]

Ok, I'm mean. I don't give treats; they lose a priviledge.

We either go outside or have tv time right after lunch and before quiet time. If you aren't finished by the end of lunch time, you don't go outside or have tv time. You lay down on your nap map and start quiet time.

I don't argue, I don't beg, I don't barter. I just stick to the rule and they make their choice. If it is something new, they just have to try a small amount. I also do family style; they take as much or as little as they want, but they have to eat what they take. There again, their choice.

I gotta tell ya, my kids eat me out of house and home!

Breakfast and snacks are their choice. If they don't want to eat it when served, they don't have to, but lunch is mandatory.

[CheekyChick]

Here are my suggestions:

1. He's getting attention from you and his parents, so I would NEVER discuss this issue in his presence again.

2. Do NOT let him get up. Let him sit and throw a fit and completely ignore him and praise the children who are eating and acting nicely.

3. Keep a log of when he's eating, not eating, his behavior during meal time, etc. so if someone turns you in, you have proof that you've done all you can do. You might also get a signed note from his parents, stating he does the same thing at home.

You're doing a good job. Just try to remember that, "This too shall pass."

[QualiTcare]

Believe me, I feel for you

First I would have a LONG talk with him. At 4.5 years old, you can have a decent conversation. Explain to him that under NO circumstances will he be allowed to misbehave at the table. If he eats, great. If he doesn't eat, that's fine too. However, by continuing to disrupt the other children will no longer be tolerated. It is HIS choice whether he eats or not. But he will NOT be loud and declaring it for the whole world to hear. If he chooses not to eat, then he must sit quietly at the table until you say he is excused.

With all due respect for my fellow colleagues, I do not believe in giving a "treat" just because he eats. I also dont believe in sending a child to nap regardless of the behavior. In fact, in my state (TX) it is against standards to use food associated with rewards, toilet training, and naps.

It's sad to say but he is the only one making himself suffer.

you're right, you're not supposed to use food as a reward. i might be wrong, but i think it's different when we're talking about getting or not getting "dessert" after a meal. that's been more like a tradition for as far back as i know of. if i take my kids out to eat, i don't "reward" them for eating all of their food by treating them to ice cream, but i'm certainly not going to buy them ice cream if they didn't eat their food. i see no difference except we're talking about a skittle or a M&M instead of something substantial.

[Unregistered]

plan a picnic

Have a make your own something for lunch day - pizza, sandwiches.....english muffin faces with whatever on them....tuna and tomato smiles with pickle eyes?

Make edible playdough (pb and dry milk) or something to allow him ownership and control without allowing a power struggle over the actual eating.

Give him a back up choice - eat what we are having - or- what he agrees he likes.

Letting him have a small amount of control in a zone you are comfortable with might work to diffuse this volcano.

As a last resort, there's always raw veggies and ranch.

Also - give him a chance to be cooled down if you are coming in from the heat. You could also make 'popsicles' with blended fruit and yogurt in the AM together, then get them after Eating (at least a bite of everything) (Or save to take home if you are not hungry)

[Meyou]

Just an update:

Friday was a better day. DCB was sent to timeout for fooling around at the table and then came back to the table after everyone was done (twice) and ate at that point. In the afternoon he managed to sit still (not eating) so avoided timeout but still took over an hour to eat a tortilla with pb and a glass of milk. BUT no whining and no crying and he did eat so all good.

He wasn't here yesterday so we're starting fresh today. This week also starts off our daily beach trips so I hope the incentive of the beach will also help our food struggles. We're going to go over the summer rules this morning and one of them is that if you don't eat at mealtimes you will be sitting next to me at the beach or in the yard until you CHOSE to eat. Another will be that there are no afternoon junky treats for anyone that choses not to eat morning snack and lunch at the table at the correct time. We do lots of freezies and ice cream cones after nap in the summer. With sand, water and fun involved I hope he'll snap out of this phase quickly and I'll be done with it for the summer.

I'm going to avoid rewards for now and just make this a rule like any other. I've been thinking about it and I think I was making too big a deal out of his not eating and creating a bigger problem for myself. If a 4 year old refused to put his shoes on to play outside I wouldn't think twice about him sitting on the step until he put them on even if he missed an entire afternoon of play so I feel like I need to treat this eating strike the same way. In a calm manner where it appears I don't really care what you do as long as you follow my rules. If you don't follow the rules you sit...I do this for everything else so I'll try it with food now.

Thanks for the input and help ladies! I'll keep this updated.

[SandeeAR]

I had an almost 3 y/o that went on a food strike. Would eat breakfast, but refused anything I fixed for lunch. Even her favorites. With Mom's blessing, I only gave afternoon snack when she ate lunch. Our thinking was she would be hungry and eat dinner. However, Dad did pick up and had the kids until Mom got home at dinne time. Found out as soon as the big sister was picked up, he gave them both a snack. So anything Mom and I were doing was useless. She just never at after breakfast at my house. She left several months ago for preschool.