For The Love Of Pete... He's Just A Little Boy..

[jessrlee]

Call me horrible but if she is married to a soldier she needs to learn to deal. We are on our third yearly deployment in less than 5 years, I run a daycare full of kids, and parents, and stresses, and I have NEVER treated our kids this way! You are right, it is just awful that many times I have had to face the very real idea of my husband dying, and still had to be a wife, mother, and go to work with a smile on my face. But EVERYONE has stress and things in their life that could make then react. This is no excuse.

In my opinion someone needs to call the Chaplain and get her some coping classes. All it takes is enough stress and a glass of spilled milk, wet pants, tantrum, etc. before the poor kiddos get truly hurt. There are tons of options available to her, and you can call the Chaplain and ask that it is confidential. Please call them, she sounds depressed and at the end of her thread.

[Meeko]

I was a military wife for 20 years. It can be VERY stressful. At the time of the first Desert Storm, I was a young mother of two boys and was doing day care on our air force base. Having my husband gone for months at a time was gut-wrenching. I cried myself to sleep many nights, wondering if I was going to be a single parent, wondering if I had remembered to pay all the bills while working 12 hours a day and coping with active boys. etc etc...

I was lucky to have a very good relationship with other wives on the base...I was active in church and in touch with my husband's superiors daily. The support chain was wonderful. My own parents called me almost daily from England. I never did find out what their phone bills looked like!!

This mom may not be so lucky. Feeling alone is a dreadful thing and she may be at the end of her rope. Try and be as supportive as you can. I would not tell her any "bad" news unless you feel you have to. Maybe ask about her husband...ask if there is anything she needs. Just knowing someone cares makes all the difference. Maybe put a bar of chocolate and a note in the diaper bag for her to find later. Little things mean a lot.

I usually try to stay out of the personal business of my clients...but there are exceptions. To me...this would be one. I am very close to one former client who was being abused my her husband. Her family live in Belize and she was alone with nobody for support. She's doing great now, but she needed our help and the "stay out of clients business" went out the window. It was our duty to help.

However...bottom line is the children must be protected. If you think for a second they could be in danger...please do something.

[sahm2three]

Its Iraq. Its soooooo hard. Please, please be patient with her. These families have to deal with so much, stuff us non-military people don't understand. She needs a friend and sympathy. A little inderstanding means a LOT LOT LOT to the ones left behind by deployment. Thank you for caring for these children hugs ()

This! Of course she is stressed out. She is under a lot of stress! She is worried about her husband and taking care of their children on her own. I say give her a hug and tell her how wonderful her kids are!

[Cat Herder]

Call me horrible but if she is married to a soldier she needs to learn to deal. We are on our third yearly deployment in less than 5 years, I run a daycare full of kids, and parents, and stresses, and I have NEVER treated our kids this way! You are right, it is just awful that many times I have had to face the very real idea of my husband dying, and still had to be a wife, mother, and go to work with a smile on my face. But EVERYONE has stress and things in their life that could make then react. This is no excuse.

In my opinion someone needs to call the Chaplain and get her some coping classes. All it takes is enough stress and a glass of spilled milk, wet pants, tantrum, etc. before the poor kiddos get truly hurt. There are tons of options available to her, and you can call the Chaplain and ask that it is confidential. Please call them, she sounds depressed and at the end of her thread.

Sending love. You rock!!!

[christinaskids]

Maybe you could pull her aside and tell her that you are concerned about her and her stress level and if there is anytime she needs to talk, you could offer to be there for her. I would tell her that you are concerned that her stress is affecting the kids which I am sure she doesn't want. And yes, even married parents need breaks, so offering to watch the children for an evening so she can get a massage, or shop, or take a nap or bubble bath might mean the world to her. The main cause of abuse is stress.

[littlemissmuffet]

There are lots of single parents out there, with all kinds of stress and all kinds of unfortunate situations to deal with that don't get mad at their children for having a bathroom accident or putting their shoes on the wrong feet. He's 2! There's no excuse.

I am all for not making a big deal when kids get "hurt" - it's life, and the sooner they find out that the best way to deal with these things is to just get up, brush themselves off and carry on without putting on a huge production that would win them a best acting award! So if these kids aren't crying when they fall when another baby or child would, I don't see a problem there. I do see a problem with mom being a bitch because her husband's gone and all the burden is on her... she's certainly not alone and it's HER job to find ways to deal with it, so the kids don't have to.

[jojosmommy]

Look in the gov't section of your yellow pages for county veterans services. Call them and ask them what services they offer to families with 1 parent deployed. Hopefully in your area they have services to help support a mother in this circumstance. Also, call your resource and referral agency. Ours works in conjunction with Beyond the Yellow Ribbon and can provide services including but not limited to respite care for mom to take time for herself. Ours also has support groups, fun things for the kids to do with the parent through out the year (like free carnivals, free book giveaways, mental health support for both parent and mom etc).

My husband is a veteran and these services are far too often overlooked and it is very hard to be at home while your partner is deployed.


Sounds like this mom just wants to be able to show her husband that she did a good job while he was away. Unfortunatly she might be expecting too much of the kids so that she can feel good about all that they have learned while daddy was away. It's alot of pressure to be the only one taking care of the kids and then have someone come back. My heart aches for this lady and her kids. Support her.

[rbmom]

Well, I bought the boy some new shorts, and I already have undies here, so I'll just change him out of his shorts and chonies in the mornings, then, change him back in the afternoon. That way, she'll never know. (unless she asks.. I'm not a good liar)

I'm going to not only be super supportive, I'm going to try to set the little guy up for success every day, and try to make sure he's totally ready before mom gets there so she's more relaxed.

Sounds great! Awesome of you to do!