Ever Had A DCM That Argues EVERYTHING?

[MamaBear]

So I have a somewhat new DCM... the baby has been coming here for about 2 months now (Hes 6 months old). Since day one it seems like this mom has to argue EVERY little thing I tell her. From the first day it was things like she'd ask how much he ate... I'd tell her and "oh thats too much"... then I try to go by her strict schedule and then she says "oh its not enough" even after I tell her I'm giving him the exact amount of bottles/oz she tells me to do... So then I start logging down EVERY bottle ... that makes her kinda back off.

Last week the baby starting eating baby foods (Gerber stage 1) per the mom's requests. She brings his foods and I can tell that he never has eaten off a spoon before even though she SAYS hes been eating baby food since 4 months old (isnt that kinda young?) Hes spitting it all over, hes ****ing the spoon and he chokes with every bite. I tell the mom about it and she says "oh no - he eats great for me"... HUH? ok...

Yesterday she brings him squash baby food and he HATES it. His eyes squint up, he gags and spits out. I tell her and she says "oh thats weird.. he LOVES squash from me at home". WTH? So today I videoed while I was feeding him his baby food so she could see what its like. He did the same thing as yesterday.

I am getting so frustrated with her constant argument of what I tell her he did each day. I just feed him according to my own schedule now. I'm not logging anything down anymore. Hes getting a little better about eating off the spoon, but its so obvious that she is using me as her guinea pig with his feedings.

Should I just not tell her anymore if he does or does not like certain foods? Or anything about how much he does & does not eat? Seems like every time I do, it turns into this issue with her. She makes it so difficult and I hate how she makes me feel like I dont know what I'm doing.

[wdmmom]

I'd stop telling her who, what, when, where, and why. I'd stick to "He last ate at 430pm. Have a good night and see ya tomorrow."

Make departures quick and to the point so you don't have to deal with her, "What?!, Huh?! and No's." ::::

[squareone]

Whenver she tells you what you are doing wrong, have her show you EXACTLY how she does it at home. Save the uneaten squash and make her feed it to him in front of you so you can see just how much he LOVES it ::. If she thinks you are feeding him too much or too little, she should be required to send his food already pre-portioned.

I would also do what pp sugested and give her the time of the last feeding and the time of the last diaper change and scoot them on out the door.

[Cat Herder]

I would just limit discussions.

Sometimes less is more.

It may be something as simple as the temp that she warms his food to or the position she has him seated to eat.

It could be as complicated as the time lapse between meals and physical activity leading up to mealtimes at her house.

I would go with the ALL SOME NONE choice when it comes to meals. Much simpler, IMHO.

[MamaBear]

Thanks

Thanks for all the advice. I'll just keep it simple like you say and not too much info on amount, time, etc. Sometimes I hear myself telling her more than I even need to and am kicking myself to shut up, because I know she will just want to argue it or make it a big deal. So for now on, I'll just keep it short & simple and scoot her out quickly Thanks!

[cheerfuldom]

less IS more. don't get into lengthy discussions about it because she is wanting to micromanage and feels better knowing that he isn't doing well there. If everything was okay with you, that would mean that he doesn't need her to be happy (in her mind). Just do food and milk on your terms in your house and as long as he is happy there, don't change anything. Don't bring up any issue with mom that she can't change. For example, if he doesn't like squash, there is nothing she can do about outside of bringing other flavors. If she doesn't want to do that, offer the squash every day and then toss it if he doesn't want it still. don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what she wants because this particular issue has nothing to do with the food (or you for that matter). its more of like power trip on her end.

[MamaBear]

Thank you

less IS more. don't get into lengthy discussions about it because she is wanting to micromanage and feels better knowing that he isn't doing well there. If everything was okay with you, that would mean that he doesn't need her to be happy (in her mind). Just do food and milk on your terms in your house and as long as he is happy there, don't change anything. Don't bring up any issue with mom that she can't change. For example, if he doesn't like squash, there is nothing she can do about outside of bringing other flavors. If she doesn't want to do that, offer the squash every day and then toss it if he doesn't want it still. don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what she wants because this particular issue has nothing to do with the food (or you for that matter). its more of like power trip on her end.

Great advice Thanks!!

[Sunshine44]

I have learned to not tell the little things that really do not matter unless they ask. And even then I just use short answers. For some reason parents like to think anything that happens in your home is your fault. Even little things like acting odd.

[sharlan]

I wonder if she is using something like this at home..............

http://www.greatbabyproducts.com/Baby-Food-Bottle-Nurser-p/sass-30023.htm

If she is using something like this, he may not be getting a good taste of the baby food. IF he's been eating baby food at home for 2 mos, why hasn't he been eating it at your house, too?

It sounds like she has to be the expert on her baby and she's micromanaging you. IMHO, the less info you provide this mom, the better.

[cheerfuldom]

what is that product? you put baby food in the bottle and they **** it out?

[Auntie]

I'd stop telling her who, what, when, where, and why. I'd stick to "He last ate at 430pm. Have a good night and see ya tomorrow."

Make departures quick and to the point so you don't have to deal with her, "What?!, Huh?! and No's." ::::

THIS ONE I agree with.

[sharlan]

what is that product? you put baby food in the bottle and they **** it out?

Yes, I have used on in the past.