Parents Treating Children Poorly

[PitterPatter]

I have been visting with a friend and everytime I go there I know I will see the neighbor treat her children poorly. Usually it's just shocking behavior that will teach them bad habits such as the parent play tug o war and saying "give me that toy" or taking things away and saying "MINE" to get a rise out of the child. Another is calling them "punk" or "brat" etc when addressing them. Even worse is allowing a 22 month old to run down the sidewalk and just yelling his name and saying "he knows better he better stop" then when he doesnt and runs into the street the Mother gets up and picks him and cracks his butt for not listening.

Today I actually had to leave because I can't keep my mouth shut much longer and the Mom doesnt care for my opinion as she already stated in the past when I made suggestions. Today she was taking her fist and acting like she was punching a 9 month old in the forhead! She would show him her fistand say "U see this?" then set it on his forhead and push his head back saying "POW". She did this many times 6-8 maybe. I spoke up again and was loud about it this time. Her reply was "shut up he likes it watch" and she continues doing it. I didnt see him liking it, he was just sitting there. He wasn't crying but still!! Then she slaps the sides of his face, little cheek pats repeatedly and that does make him laugh but what is this teaching him???!!!

Again the 22 month old gets up and takes off. Shes yelling as he gets to the curb and stays seated texting. I had enough and went after him myself. I get him back to his still seated Mother who then makes a fist and puts it in his face asking "DO U WANT THIS?" He shakes his head no and she says "Then Fn listen or I'll knock your teeth out" It was then i had to leave!

No matter what I have to say, kindly and gently or sternly and loudly she doesn't give a damn. What can be done? I have never seen her beat him just that crack to his rear when he ran into the street. It is her fault!!! He's playing chase me! But this other verbal abuse and the fists... What can be done here if anything.

[daycare]

Verbal abuse is still abuse
I would report Her tomorrow asap
That's no way To treat anyone let alone a child!

[PitterPatter]

Verbal abuse is still abuse
I would report Her tomorrow asap
That's no way To treat anyone let alone a child!

The last time I reported someone for verbal abuse (over a yr ago) nothing came of it. I was asked if I saw the child beaten, bruises, do they have clothing are they fed etc. When I told them yes but... I was told they would check into it and the parent still verbally bashes her child on a daily basis. Bosses him around like cinderella and always f this f that, u do it or else...

I think our system is severely flawed and in need of a huge change. I have even requested that a case worker just sit in a parked car for 30 mins on a certain street and watch. They would have enough to prove a case. I was told "We don't have the resources for that"

I am reporting this tom tho see where this 1 goes. Thanks for the reply daycare!

[daycare]

I know what you mean. Btdt
Years ago I reported one of my own friends for verbal abuse. CPS came out and inspected but nothing came of it.
However, the CPS worker told me that if complaints continued eventually something would happen.
It did scare the daylights out of my friend and she changed her tune a little. I stopped being friends with her shortly after.

Good luck. Let me know what happens

[Meyou]

She is a horrible mother!! OMG I'm just....OMG!!! I wouldn't have been able to stay either and watch that.

I think you have some basis for reporting between the threats, playing at violence, bum smacking and lack of safety with the child running into the road. If she acts that way in front of people she doesn't know well HOW does she act when noone is there?

[mac60]

Why would "bum smacking" be a reportable abuse when a child heads for the road, and disregards any warning given, even if 22 mo old. This is exactly why we have the "kind" of kids in our society that we do, out of control, disrespectful, spoiled, etc. Everyone is afraid to discipline their child, and when they do, you have someone watching you ready to turn you in. Seriously, sounds like their idea of "play" and "goofing around" is much different than what you feel is appropriate. Doesn't mean she is hurting her child in any way. While it may be a little out there, it is far from abuse in my opinion. 99 % of my parents just stand and yell at their young child to not go towards the street, they will catch them in time and pop them on the butt. While telling a 22 mo old that he better listen or I'll knock your fn teeth out is definately wrong and a very bad way to handle it, it is her way, and no ones business. I think this is a situation where a good friend or family member should step in and speak to the mom, not some one visiting the neighbors witnessing it.

[sassysue]

It's called LAZY parenting,and ignorance.It is abuse but you would not believe the way some people treat,speak and raise their children. Unfortunately she was probably treated the same way growing up.She sounds very trashy,and will always be with that attitude.Wow!

[morgan24]

Why would "bum smacking" be a reportable abuse when a child heads for the road, and disregards any warning given, even if 22 mo old. This is exactly why we have the "kind" of kids in our society that we do, out of control, disrespectful, spoiled, etc. Everyone is afraid to discipline their child, and when they do, you have someone watching you ready to turn you in. Seriously, sounds like their idea of "play" and "goofing around" is much different than what you feel is appropriate. Doesn't mean she is hurting her child in any way. While it may be a little out there, it is far from abuse in my opinion. 99 % of my parents just stand and yell at their young child to not go towards the street, they will catch them in time and pop them on the butt. While telling a 22 mo old that he better listen or I'll knock your fn teeth out is definately wrong and a very bad way to handle it, it is her way, and no ones business. I think this is a situation where a good friend or family member should step in and speak to the mom, not some one visiting the neighbors witnessing it.

I think that mac60 is right. It's sad but I see this type of lazy, don't want to discipline, parenting everyday, at the store, school or anywhere in public. Even though I don't agree with it, I wouldn't report it.

[mac60]

I don't agree with it either. But I don't feel it is reportable. Sad, but true. Everyone has their version of parenting, some better, some obviously much worse.

[Kaddidle Care]

I don't agree with it either. But I don't feel it is reportable. Sad, but true. Everyone has their version of parenting, some better, some obviously much worse.

Ditto on what Mac said. At least she's interacting with her child. I'd say that's better than a lot I see.
She doesn't sound like the classiest person in the world though.

I don't understand her letting a 2 year old (not even) wander near a busy road though. Even if it's not a busy road. I hope this child doesn't end up being a statistic. It's amazing how hard Guardian Angels work though.

We had a neighbor that never watched her youngest. I guess she told her older daughters to watch him but he was always in the road (at the age of 2) and I guess the girls were inside on the computer. I was constantly shoeing him back into his fenced in yard. Then one day, after doing it, I turned around to go back home and he winged a wiffle ball bat at me. I stormed up to the house, banged on the door and nobody answered. I then went in the house and called, nobody answered. At that point I decided that it was no longer my job to protect him and just looked the other way. He survived.

A few years later the neighbor did contact his parents when we looked up and saw he was atop a ladder and swinging the power lines back and forth just for fun. Again, he survived. I chalked it up to very strong Guardian Angels. ::

[Meyou]

I don't think there is ever an excuse to strike a child especially a BABY who is not being watched properly. Who in their right mind lets a 22 month old get that far away from them on a road? THEN blames the BABY for not listening..... My 2 year olds are good listeners and never go near the road but if one wandered too far it's on ME as their caregiver (or parent) to make sure I'm close enough to keep them safe.
I also find calling your child a brat as a name in poor taste. Punk I can accept as a nickname in the right family. I call my kids hooligans or trouble 1, 2 and 3 but NEVER when I'm angry so they don't get confused. I won't even touch on the face grabbling and the F work thrown in there.

and FTR I have a potty mouth and we do use humor with our kids in a slightly inappropriate fashion so I'm not an uptight child advocate who can't take a joke. She's a mean mother.

[Ariana]

I'd report it immediately. Even if nothing comes of it at least you did something.

[jen]

I don't think there is ever an excuse to strike a child especially a BABY who is not being watched properly. Who in their right mind lets a 22 month old get that far away from them on a road? THEN blames the BABY for not listening..... My 2 year olds are good listeners and never go near the road but if one wandered too far it's on ME as their caregiver (or parent) to make sure I'm close enough to keep them safe.
I also find calling your child a brat as a name in poor taste. Punk I can accept as a nickname in the right family. I call my kids hooligans or trouble 1, 2 and 3 but NEVER when I'm angry so they don't get confused. I won't even touch on the face grabbling and the F work thrown in there.

and FTR I have a potty mouth and we do use humor with our kids in a slightly inappropriate fashion so I'm not an uptight child advocate who can't take a joke. She's a mean mother.

It may be in poor taste, but it isn't reportable. Neither is a spanking...the government can't regulate good parenting. Unless there is actual ABUSE there isn't anything to report.

[PitterPatter]

I don't think a pop on the butt is so bad. I don't hit my own child in any way but that's just me. What I do find awful is the violence she is raising the kids in. Fists in faces and acting like she is punching a BABY in the head. 1 of my fears is these kids will go to preschool or even a daycare like ours and do the same to children. We talk about kids doing these kinds of things and here I see where it's starting from. I just feel the need to help the kids. Maybe I am just too mushy but at that age my child was being loved and adored and played with in a loving manner with smiles galore. NEVER taught to hit before they could even speak. Never taught "MINE" as a 1st word and certainly not cursed at or threatened.

I know I should mind my own business and I do tend to step in and attempt to be a voice for children but if I don't then who will? These kids can't even talk yet. I just can't stand to watch a couple beautiful children being treated this way and raised to be the same. Every child deserves to be loved and I just don't see love here. Maybe they do love the kids behind closed doors but I worry if they do this much in the publics eye what worse things are going on behind closed doors? I wish I were wealthy so that I could take these kids in for free and show them the love and kindness they deserve.

[PitterPatter]

I know what you mean. Btdt
Years ago I reported one of my own friends for verbal abuse. CPS came out and inspected but nothing came of it.
However, the CPS worker told me that if complaints continued eventually something would happen.
It did scare the daylights out of my friend and she changed her tune a little. I stopped being friends with her shortly after.

Good luck. Let me know what happens

That is all I would like to see in this case. I don't want to see any child taken away and put in a home or worse but I would like for the parents to have the poo scared out of them just once and make an effort to better that childs life. I am a firm believer in we learn what we live and today there seem to be too many people having kids and not having the love to go with it.

There are lots of women who can't have children and pray for a child then I see other people having babies left and right and neglecting or abusing them or just letting them grow without the love and support and structure they need.

I don't make reports often. Actually have only made 3 reports in my life. 1 was unfounded because there was no physical abuse. Another the people oddly moved away in a hurry after being investigated. And the 3rd long ago (before I became a provider) was a mother that had her children out in November with no shoes or coats waiting on a bus. They only had sweat suits on. There wasn't any snow but it was cold out! The children were about 3 and 5 maybe. They were about to cry complaining they were so cold. She was in high heeled boots and a fur like coat. She yelled at them that she doesnt have time to wait for them to put their shoes on or they will miss the bus. I reported her and 2 weeks later CPS went in and found drugs and guns in the home. I heard that other people had reported her as well so maybe it takes a few complaints before anything is actually done.