REFUSES To Tell When She Needs To Pee!!!

[Guest]

I have a 3 yr old - have posted about her before. She has been here just over 10 months. She is potty trained and will tell others (mom, her friends here) but REFUSES to tell me when she needs to pee. Instead she will pee where ever she stands then starts crying when I notice.
I have TRIED everything with this kid!!! I bring her every hr and a half automatically to avoid accidents but they still happen. I tell her over and over again..you need to tell ME when you need to use the potty..not your friends. And nada!!!
I get so frustrated because like I said I know she IS trained and DOES know when she has to go...most times she will pace before she has the accident. They do this sometimes as a group ( no idea why LOL) so I do not always pay attention to it. I also sometimes have to have my back to her. I just do not know what to do to get it through her head...TELL ME!!!!! :0(

Mom always gives me the same story - I do not understand why she does it only with you...(nothing like making me feel like sh$%) :0( and she has on an occasion or two made up excuses for her.

I am just out of ideas here...anyone have something like this and found a solution???

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I would tell mom to bring pull ups until she can knock it off. She wants to pee her pants, pee in a pull up! It's gross and you shouldn't have to clean her up all the time.

[cheerfuldom]

yup pull ups. I have a feeling that mom is lying though.

[ChaserT27]

Cheerful - honestly...me too!!!!!
And we have done the pull ups - and I stopped using them because the Mother kept forgetting to put them in the bag. She swears she doesn't use them at all at home so she forgets to buy them. I also wanted to try for awhile to see if she would do better after time..guess not!!
One of the times DCG had an accident right before Mom got here - another client came through the door only seconds before dcg's mom...Within those seconds the child had peed on the floor. After the mom left she text me and said DCG said she did not ask because I was talking....I explained to dcg's mom that the other parent had literally just shut the door before she pulled up..I did not get a text back...
I just do not understand why this kid refuses to tell me...could it be because she is "forced" to ask and doesn't like that? I have the play area (which is very large - two rooms together) gated by an attached super gate so the kids do not roam freely. I have never had a child with an issue of asking me for anything like this. This same child will not ask me for ketchup with her lunch but complains to her mother that I do not give it to her...it boggles me!

I just hate hearing "I don't know why she only does this with you" every time I hear that my skin crawls!! Like it is my fault it is happening!! With the exception of her..I have had 5 other children here in my care since they were 3 months old...they are all 2.5 to 4 yrs old now so maybe I am just not used to the adjusting period...can it last more than 10 months for a kid to adjust and be comfortable?? Maybe anxiety about asking me for stuff...I know I am probably grasping at straws here but I just do not get it :confused:

[cheerfuldom]

buy them yourself and charge her for them if she doesn't remember them on her own. of course give her the option of providing whatever brand she wants but when they don't show up, charge her by the pullup from your stash. do not let this kid pee all over your house. thats disgusting. This is not your fault. Don't even let that guilt creep in. 10 months is WAY more than enough for her to adjust and know the rules. Mom is blaming you because that is the easiest thing for her and puts the problem back in your court. Get control of this situation now.

[spud912]

I had a dcb who did that and when I told the parents that I will require him to be in pull-ups or training pants until he is accident-free for 2 weeks, they termed me because they "tried so hard to potty train him" and he should be able to wear briefs.

[WImom]

I too have a dcg that doesn't tell me (but tells everyone else) when she has to go but luckily she doesn't have accidents either, she just holds it.

[MyAngels]

If she had the opportunity to leave the room on her own and go without telling you, would she do that?

I agree with the PP who said buy the pullups yourself and charge the parent if they forget to bring their own.

I don't have any advice on why she won't just tell you she has to go, I'm dealing with one right now who is doing the same thing, though she will go if I tell her to.

[ChaserT27]

Myangels - so weird...I just do not understand LOL

I am requiring pull ups once again...Mom is not thrilled however I told her it is not sanitary and I can not have her peeing on a hard wood floor where the children ALL play.
She is going to wear the pulls ups from the time she walks in to 5 minutes before she leaves.

Thanks everyone for your input :0)

[jojosmommy]

Cheerful - honestly...me too!!!!!
And we have done the pull ups - and I stopped using them because the Mother kept forgetting to put them in the bag. She swears she doesn't use them at all at home so she forgets to buy them. :confused:

Clearly set up an accident poilcy and enforce it. If you want her accident free for 2 weeks and she must be able to tell YOU she has to go (not the other way around) then make mom bring pull ups until she has reached the 2 week mark. Mom doesn't have to clean it up or deal with it so she likely doesn't care. If she can't remember to bring them then tell her you will buy them and she can reimburse you. Not negotiable in my house.

Would you allow a parent of an infant to drop off without diapers expecting you to provide them?

[TBird]

yup pull ups. I have a feeling that mom is lying though.

Definitely lying. Same thing here with one of my boys...awesome parents but they're just not consistent with it when they're on the go. I'm more of the "cold turkey" type. If the kid shows me any signs of knowing what he's doing...WHOA NELLY...I'm throwing everything out and you're a big boy now!!!

[Country Kids]

The provieder clearly states that the little girl will tell her mom and the kids in childcare that she has to go to the bathroom, just not the provider. Does she just wet in her pants or poop also? Please don't take this wrong but is she scared of you for some reason? My three year olds go into the bathroom by themselves (its in my daycare room) so I hear and check constantly, but all they say is "I have to go to the bathroom" and I say ok, go ahead. So maybe instead of you taking her just every 1/2 or so tell her to go in and use the bathroom but still check on her. Maybe she doesn't think she can go in unless you physically take her. I think if you put her in pull-ups she will use them as a crutch-that is what I have found with all my childcare children and the minute we (the parents and I) put them in big kid underwear they are going by themselves and are so, so proud of that.

[Unregistered (logged out)]

Need help on how to talk to a parent about something

I am registered but logged out. I am closing my daycare in January due to a surprise pregnancy this will be our fourth child I was gonna close daycare anyways in May and go back to school in September but school plans are off for now daycare Mom already knows im closing in January she is moving to Flordia in May anyways this is why I havent taken on another daycare child and was gonna go ahead and work till May. Anyways DCB will be 2 at the end of November and he is a bright little boy and can already talk well she has stated how she can not wait to start potty training him when he turns 2 she thinks he will be ready he probably will but here is the problem. I will be 8 months pregnant at the begining of December and he already weighs 30 pounds and all honesty Im not gonna feel like picking up a heavy toddler and putting him on the toilet every hour but I dont wanna tell her this as it makes me sound lazy I know it is a ways away but she talks about how she hopes he is trained before he leaves here in January. I kinda wanna tell her now that its gonna be to hard to pick him up at 8 months pregnant and put him on the toilet every hour but like I said I dont want her to think I am gonna be lazy and should I wait to say something and how do I go about telling her?

[SilverSabre25]

I am registered but logged out. I am closing my daycare in January due to a surprise pregnancy this will be our fourth child I was gonna close daycare anyways in May and go back to school in September but school plans are off for now daycare Mom already knows im closing in January she is moving to Flordia in May anyways this is why I havent taken on another daycare child and was gonna go ahead and work till May. Anyways DCB will be 2 at the end of November and he is a bright little boy and can already talk well she has stated how she can not wait to start potty training him when he turns 2 she thinks he will be ready he probably will but here is the problem. I will be 8 months pregnant at the begining of December and he already weighs 30 pounds and all honesty Im not gonna feel like picking up a heavy toddler and putting him on the toilet every hour but I dont wanna tell her this as it makes me sound lazy I know it is a ways away but she talks about how she hopes he is trained before he leaves here in January. I kinda wanna tell her now that its gonna be to hard to pick him up at 8 months pregnant and put him on the toilet every hour but like I said I dont want her to think I am gonna be lazy and should I wait to say something and how do I go about telling her?

...well, my honest opinion is that if dcb isn't able to get himself up onto the toilet with the help of a step stool then he has no business potty training. I have never and will never pick up a child to put them on the toilet. That's part of potty training IMO (along with being capable of handling their own undressing and dressing) and isn't something you should have to do.

Or, use a potty chair for the duration.

[sharlan]

I have a 3 yr old - have posted about her before. She has been here just over 10 months. She is potty trained and will tell others (mom, her friends here) but REFUSES to tell me when she needs to pee. Instead she will pee where ever she stands then starts crying when I notice.
I have TRIED everything with this kid!!! I bring her every hr and a half automatically to avoid accidents but they still happen. I tell her over and over again..you need to tell ME when you need to use the potty..not your friends. And nada!!!
I get so frustrated because like I said I know she IS trained and DOES know when she has to go...most times she will pace before she has the accident. They do this sometimes as a group ( no idea why LOL) so I do not always pay attention to it. I also sometimes have to have my back to her. I just do not know what to do to get it through her head...TELL ME!!!!! :0(

Mom always gives me the same story - I do not understand why she does it only with you...(nothing like making me feel like sh$%) :0( and she has on an occasion or two made up excuses for her.

I am just out of ideas here...anyone have something like this and found a solution???

Have you considered putting a potty chair in the corner for her to use? That way she doesn't have to ask you, just go to the corner and sit down.