Daycare Provider/Facebook Posts

[Ariana]

Try replying to one of her posts with "having a rough day?" Maybe than she will realize how it comes off on fb. Like I said, I would never post stuff I will regret later. I type and sometimes I just delete the whole post after I read how silly it sounds!

I think this is a great idea! Say something about it to let her know you're reading it. Then maybe say something that day when you pick up the kids like "it sounds like you're really stressed, I hope my kids aren't causing you too much trouble...we could try and find another provider" etc etc. (I don't know if you'd feel comfortable 'threatening' to pull your kids but it could help make her realize what she's doing).

I think if you feel uncomfortable and don't consider this just 'innocent complaining' you might want to consider moving your kids

[MyAngels]

I'd like to thank everyone for their insight!

I know it's a very hard job to do, I give all daycare providers huge kudos for what they do. Kids are fun, but they're incredibly difficult at times too. I know the days are long, you're at home all day, and you can't really have an in depth conversation about current events with a 3 year old. I have 2 kids, I work full time outside of the home...I'm busy too. My job is stressful as well. I work customer service for a large corporation, I deal with my fair share of jerks everyday. I don't whine about it to where my boss can hear me though. That would be very unprofessional on my part, and would probably get me fired. But you grin and bear it and remember why you went into that profession in the first place. For her, it was so she could be home with her baby. Now she seems to have no interest in anyone but her baby. Her post tonight was that she has a long weekend coming up and can't wait for "three days of freedom".

The other parents and I post when she complains....ask her if so and so is having a bad day, how can we help, can I come lend a hand etc, but it gets brushed off or excused away. It's depressing to think that the woman I have entrusted the care of my child with could really have no interest in her job.

So, I don't know. I'm kind of at a loss for words now. I'm sad, angry, hurt, dumbfounded....I need to talk to her....maybe she somehow can't see how what she says would affect the parents. I don't want to start trouble if she can't see what she's doing is wrong.

I may have a somewhat different perspective on this. I have had my home daycare for 19 years now, and thinking back to the days when I first started out, I can remember feeling isolated, unhappy and stressed. However, I never let that affect how I related to the kids that I cared for at the time. I always took my responsibility to those children and families very seriously. It took a bit of time for me to realize what an excellent career choice I had made.

Your provider may be exactly the same way, but the only way you will know for sure will be to talk with her about it. If she doesn't take that in the spirit that it is intended, then you may have the answer as to whether she is the right provider for your child. If you aren't able to bring yourself to talk with her about it and are having doubts about the quality of care, then you should at least pop in at some unexpected times so that you may have a better idea of what's going on when you are not around.

I knew there was a reason I never signed up for Facebook .

[wdmmom]

lmao sorry I got a good laugh out of your post!

I'm glad!

I've dealt with one chronic Facebook mom who clearly forgets that we're friends.

No, you didn't get stuck on a call late from work when it says you went home from work at 930am, went out for lunch with your girlfriend, and went out of town to hang out with an old high school buddy. DUHHHHHHH. People must think I was born at night. (Which is true.) It just wasn't last night.

[MamaBear]

Unfriend...

I would unfriend her.... I have a FB page for my daycare families and another for my personal use. If I ever do vent, I for sure would never do it on the daycare FB page. I would just unfriend her on FB so you dont have to see it.

I unfriended one of my daycare parents on FB before because I didnt like her posts... So it could go both ways. She would tell me she was heading to work and then update her FB status minutes later with things like "Ugh so glad to have a break from my kid ~ now time to go home and go back to bed" or other random posts like that. She'd pick up late and lie about how busy she was at work. I think she didnt realize that I could see her updates. So it was better for me to just unfriend her on FB then to get ticked off seeing her postings.

Good luck!

[Meyou]

I have daycare parents on my facebook and the worst thing I have ever posted was "The munchkins are revolting! I'm outnumbered!" That was a particularly bad day and that was a big vent for me. A few parents saw it and asked how bad it was and I just said I needed a little vent because it was a trying day. No biggie for my famliies but I would NEVER post anything that could hurt feelings or be connected to any particular child or about feeling trapped by my job. It's rude and unprofessional.

[jen]

I'd like to thank everyone for their insight!

I know it's a very hard job to do, I give all daycare providers huge kudos for what they do. Kids are fun, but they're incredibly difficult at times too. I know the days are long, you're at home all day, and you can't really have an in depth conversation about current events with a 3 year old. I have 2 kids, I work full time outside of the home...I'm busy too. My job is stressful as well. I work customer service for a large corporation, I deal with my fair share of jerks everyday. I don't whine about it to where my boss can hear me though. That would be very unprofessional on my part, and would probably get me fired. But you grin and bear it and remember why you went into that profession in the first place. For her, it was so she could be home with her baby. Now she seems to have no interest in anyone but her baby. Her post tonight was that she has a long weekend coming up and can't wait for "three days of freedom".

The other parents and I post when she complains....ask her if so and so is having a bad day, how can we help, can I come lend a hand etc, but it gets brushed off or excused away. It's depressing to think that the woman I have entrusted the care of my child with could really have no interest in her job.

So, I don't know. I'm kind of at a loss for words now. I'm sad, angry, hurt, dumbfounded....I need to talk to her....maybe she somehow can't see how what she says would affect the parents. I don't want to start trouble if she can't see what she's doing is wrong.

Personally, I wouldn't post anything that my parents could read, but to be honest, I don't really think the "three days of freedom" thing is a big deal. I don't think you completely understand how difficult it can be for a provider even to run to the bathroom. That said...

Children are our most precious gift so it makes sense that you are taking this personally. However, this is a business and you need to treat it as such. If you went to the store and you didn't like the service or the attitude of the people who work there you would probably move on. I suggest you sit down with the provider, putting all personal feelings of hurt, dismay, etc. aside and try to determine where the provider is coming from. If you don't like the answer give your notice and find a service provider with whom you feel more comfortable.

Daycare is hard and it isn't for everyone. People who are doing it to stay home or bring in a paycheck despite the fact that they don't enjoy it aren't going to be good providers in the long run. Which isn't to say that we don't do it to be home or earn a paycheck, you just have to not hate it.

[Cat Herder]

Just a few months ago I posted "Provider down!!! Bring Chocolate!!" and 3 of my clients actually did at pick-up (I had 3 1yo's weaning from the bottle at once)....::::::

I would send her a personal FB message and just ask " Would you prefer I find another provider? Your posts make me feel bad and I don't want my kids to be the source of your unhappiness."

It may be the jolt she needs or the sign you are waiting for.

Good luck, hun. The whole situation stinks, IMHO.

[Unregistered]

reply

I have been in this situation and I did exactly what a previous poster mentioned - I replied to her status update so everyone could see and said something like "Oh no! What did (my children) do?" She got very defensive, saying "Oh, not your kids...yada yada yada" and then never posted those kind of statuses again! It worked! Ha!

[PeanutsGalore]

I have been in this situation and I did exactly what a previous poster mentioned - I replied to her status update so everyone could see and said something like "Oh no! What did (my children) do?" She got very defensive, saying "Oh, not your kids...yada yada yada" and then never posted those kind of statuses again! It worked! Ha!

This sounds like it may be a good idea! To the OP: I don't think this person is hating on her job. Daycare is not a job like any other, and if she's kind of new to this profession (ie: started it in order to stay home with her first child), it's a huge adjustment. Whereas in almost any other job, you have SOMEONE to vent on in order to avoid having to do it in front of your boss in a professional way, with in-home daycare, you have NOBODY to talk to. All day long. Couple that with not being able to take a bathroom break, or a lunch break, or a snack break in any sort of reliable way, and yes--sometimes having children screaming all day long, it's stress on a totally different level than what you can understand unless you've done it. And you love the children, of course, but they're not yours. And yes, it does make a difference. Nobody loves a child like a mama or papa.

Not excusing her unprofessional behavior, but I don't think venting about looking forward to time off when you don't have to listen to children screaming all day is an indication that she doesn't like her job. She's just looking forward to her time off, like everyone does when a 3-day weekend is coming up.

If it makes you uncomfortable because of the unprofessionalism, I would address that with her, either in a roundaabout way by posting on her fb comments, or if that doesn't work, by talking to her directly. IMO, the fact that she doesn't seem to understand that she shouldn't be posting what she's posting to whom she's posting it is more of a concern than what she's actually saying. But not a huge deal (IMO) since a lot of people don't really get that in this day and age.

You aren't her boss, but you are her customer and have every right to air your concerns, especially since this is your child we're talking about. And as a customer, your money can always walk elsewhere if she doesn't address your concerns. Good luck!

[jen]

Just a few months ago I posted "Provider down!!! Bring Chocolate!!" and 3 of my clients actually did at pick-up (I had 3 1yo's weaning from the bottle at once)....::::::

LOL!! That was really cute and funny! You have great clients!

[Unregistered]

Why do you stay?

I'd like to thank everyone for their insight!

I know it's a very hard job to do, I give all daycare providers huge kudos for what they do. Kids are fun, but they're incredibly difficult at times too. I know the days are long, you're at home all day, and you can't really have an in depth conversation about current events with a 3 year old. I have 2 kids, I work full time outside of the home...I'm busy too. My job is stressful as well. I work customer service for a large corporation, I deal with my fair share of jerks everyday. I don't whine about it to where my boss can hear me though. That would be very unprofessional on my part, and would probably get me fired. But you grin and bear it and remember why you went into that profession in the first place. For her, it was so she could be home with her baby. Now she seems to have no interest in anyone but her baby. Her post tonight was that she has a long weekend coming up and can't wait for "three days of freedom".

The other parents and I post when she complains....ask her if so and so is having a bad day, how can we help, can I come lend a hand etc, but it gets brushed off or excused away. It's depressing to think that the woman I have entrusted the care of my child with could really have no interest in her job.

So, I don't know. I'm kind of at a loss for words now. I'm sad, angry, hurt, dumbfounded....I need to talk to her....maybe she somehow can't see how what she says would affect the parents. I don't want to start trouble if she can't see what she's doing is wrong.

Why do you stay? Surely you'd rather have your child somewhere else where the provider actually likes what she's doing for a living. I've been following your posts and updates all along. Personally, if my child was at a daycare and I found out the daycare provider was complaining regularly about her job on FB or to me as the customer, I wouldn't want my child there. If you owned a business, would you hire employees that hate their job? Would you keep an employee that complains publicly constantly about their job? Your child is one of the most important people in your life. I certainly wouldn't have trust anymore, because there's a big difference between complaining to your friends privately and complaining regularly publicly on FB, even after parents are writing back to her. If you think that her attitude isn't reflecting on your children during the day, you're wrong. No one who hates their job puts on a brave, happy face and performs at 100%. Daycare providers are people you don't want hating their jobs. What is talking to her going to get you? She'll just unfriend you or hide it. Her attitude isn't going to change overnight just because you sympathize with her or ask her if you can help. You're not her therapist, you're the customer. She needs to get it together or find some other type of work.

[Unregistered]

Thanks everyone.

The whole situation just stinks, and those of you who hate fb - I do too! It always seems to cause problems. Too bad it's so addictive ;P

So trying to be super nice and to see if she could post something positive about her day, we brought her a coffee this morning. So far no updates, but I'm waiting for it, whether it be good or bad. We also only bring my child 4 days a week, and she gets paid for a full week. That's a nice bonus right there, right?

I know kids aren't easy to work with all day - I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old (granted it's not a houseful, but I do know where you are coming from). I know it's hard...when I'm not at work, I'm on the job as mom. I know there are times you can't take a break or eat a meal sitting down. Or go pee by yourself.

My confidence in her is completey shaken now. If the complaining wasn't that often, I could brush this off easily. But it's so frequent....and it's not a recent slump, she's been posting like this since October (just recently "friended" me), and complaining more and more regularly.

Why do I stay? She's one of the very few in my area that I can actually afford. But I think it may be time to think about moving on. I just want my lil guy to be loved during the day.

Garh!

[jen]

Thanks everyone.

The whole situation just stinks, and those of you who hate fb - I do too! It always seems to cause problems. Too bad it's so addictive ;P

So trying to be super nice and to see if she could post something positive about her day, we brought her a coffee this morning. So far no updates, but I'm waiting for it, whether it be good or bad. We also only bring my child 4 days a week, and she gets paid for a full week. That's a nice bonus right there, right?

I know kids aren't easy to work with all day - I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old (granted it's not a houseful, but I do know where you are coming from). I know it's hard...when I'm not at work, I'm on the job as mom. I know there are times you can't take a break or eat a meal sitting down. Or go pee by yourself.

My confidence in her is completey shaken now. If the complaining wasn't that often, I could brush this off easily. But it's so frequent....and it's not a recent slump, she's been posting like this since October (just recently "friended" me), and complaining more and more regularly.

Why do I stay? She's one of the very few in my area that I can actually afford. But I think it may be time to think about moving on. I just want my lil guy to be loved during the day.

Garh!

OK...here is your issue. Daycare providers who charge less then the going rate always end up stressed. This is a hard (yet rewarding) field and if you aren't being paid appropriately, it just ends up with one burnt out provider.

What she should do is raise her rates so that they are comparable; that way she will feel adquately rewarded for her efforts and won't be so quick to complain.

[JenNJ]

I am going against the grain here and give it to you straight - find a new provider. If she is knowingly friends with you on FB and still cannot control her grumbling, she is really unhappy and in need of a new job. There are too many great providers out there to stay with anyone who makes you uncomfortable or unhappy.

I know I take it to the extreme in that I NEVER post about anything work related, BC I find it unprofessional no matter what job you have. But in this job, it is not only unprofessional but hurtful to the families of the little ones. She should find a new outlet for her venting that does not include her clients.

If I was her client, I would find a new provider and give notice.

[youretooloud]

If it makes you feel any better at all, I am going to be a lot more cautious when I talk about the job on facebook from now on. Even if I'm joking, it could come across as grumbling.


So, while it doesn't help YOU, it's been enlightening to me.