The Depressing Child...

[AnythingsPossible]

Do any of you have a child like this in care? I have a little guy who is 8 and he is the most miserable little person. When he comes in the morning, I say "Good Morning, how are you today?", all smiles and sunshine, and I get a gloomy gus answer of "fine". He sits around all day if his favorite buddy doesn't happen to be here. When we go outside he just wanders around or sits around. He is just always so bummed.
One of his parents is this type of personality as well. Any ideas on bringing him out of it? On the days when I only have a few in care and he is one of them, the vibe is just funky all day, and I end up bummed out by the end of the day to. To be so young and so depressed is pretty sad.

[Cat Herder]

"Eyeore Syndrome" As I call it.

The psychologist said it was normal for boys between the ages of 8-11. IMHO, They are typically the calmer, more thoughtful/empathetic children.

I have two sons, one like the child you are talking about and one who is a "crowd pleaser"....guess who gets in trouble more.

I bet he will be into science experiments, magnetic type building kits and building stuff out of scrap wood....

[jen]

You mentioned that he has a parent who is similar in demeanor? Personality is a heritable trait; he is probably not depressed, rather this is simply his natural temperment. It doesn't really mean that he is unhappy. That said, there are things you can do to help him integrate socially.

What are his interests? You can build on those within the group and perhaps help him forge some relationships.

[Cat Herder]

You mentioned that he has a parent who is similar in demeanor? Personality is a heritable trait; he is probably not depressed, rather this is simply his natural temperment. It doesn't really mean that he is unhappy. That said, there are things you can do to help him integrate socially.

What are his interests? You can build on those within the group and perhaps help him forge some relationships.

Hmmm...that is exactly what our psychologist said when I was afraid he was depressed and took DS, myself. Just to be sure.

It is like you KNOW....::::::

I am so glad you are in this forum.

[Meyou]

I had 2 school aged eyeore's last summer (brother and sister) and I didn't take them this summer because I couldn't take another summer of double wet blankets while everyone else was having a great time.

Their parents were both glass is half empty, poor, poor me types so I can totally see the hereditary aspect.

Maybe find some things that DO excite him and go from there?

[MN Mom]

Monkey see, Monkey do.

My parents are the glass half empty, the world owes me a favor, very negative people.

It has taken my husband many years of re-training...and I still get that way from time to time. I'm MUCH better than when we started dating many moons ago.

I wouldn't say it's so much heredity as it is exposure....because my mother was not a negative person until she married my father, kwim?

[Blackcat31]

While it may not be possible to "change" a child who tends to see the glass as half-empty, you can help nurture a more positive outlook and help the child develop some ability to balance some of the negativity, anxiety and fears with some optimism. The brain is powerful and it is entirely possible to train ourselves to see things more positively and hopefully, so it stands to reason that by starting early, parents and providers can help children develop some resiliency and skills for turning negativity into more positive thoughts and optimism.

http://positivethinkingforkids.com/

[daycare]

I have a child like this who is only 3. It is so hard to read if he is having a good time or not. I used to wonder about him all the time if he was depressed or if there was something wrong. But then I finally met his dad and the dad was exactly the same way.

I used to also ask the mom if the child enjoyed being here. She would act shocked and say oh yes he loves it here, why do you ask.

Everyone has different personality types and I think that it is normal for a child to copy the behavior traits of a parent.

[countrymom]

"Eyeore Syndrome" As I call it.

The psychologist said it was normal for boys between the ages of 8-11. IMHO, They are typically the calmer, more thoughtful/empathetic children.

I have two sons, one like the child you are talking about and one who is a "crowd pleaser"....guess who gets in trouble more.

I bet he will be into science experiments, magnetic type building kits and building stuff out of scrap wood....

my ds is like this but not so gloomy, but he loves science, computers, building stuff. Find out what he likes to do, maybe this way you can bring him out of his shell. Oh my ds also loves to cook too.

[lil angels]

My ds is also a bit like this he is 8. He goes up and down in him moods a lot. Hates sports HATES sports. He loves things he can putz with like little legos, still loves his matchbox cars and trucks that he can build roads for and things like that. I don't think I would call his depressed more spoiled if he isn't getting to do what he wants all the time.::::::

[jen]

Hmmm...that is exactly what our psychologist said when I was afraid he was depressed and took DS, myself. Just to be sure.

It is like you KNOW....::::::

I am so glad you are in this forum.

LOL! Thank you!!!

[sharlan]

Are you sure you didn't post about my 26 yo niece? She is not happy unless she is playing Eeyore. She drives my whole family nuts as she lives with us.

Children like this seem to enjoy calmer activities like Legos, something that they can get lost in on their own.