Do You Have a Bully in Your Care?

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Do you, or have you, had a child in your care that will hit, kick, pinch, push, pull hair to another daycare child?

Just wondering how you handle it? I have a 4 year old boy with obvious behavior issues..I have set up a sticker chart that seems to work very well with him, but some days nothing works and he hits, pushes, pinches a little 19 month old I watch. I give him time outs when he poses this behavior and I will explain to him why he's in time out and how he would feel if he was pushed/hit, ect. but then he's back at it again not too long after.

Just looking for more suggestions...simple one is to send him packing, which I may do soon as this has been going on for 2 months, unless I can get him under control (however his other provider let him go for the same reason, he was hitting/being mean to her 3 year old daycare boy).

[momma2girls]

I personally would let him go!! I have had a 4 yr. old, that sister's told me he bit all the time, sure enough his 1st day here, he bit my 5 yr. old daughter's arem, enough to make it bleed. I explained to the mother, that apparently he does this all the time, as to what the sisters told me- I asked her is this why she was looking for other daycare so soon, she said no, but I knew it was then. Needless to say he bit someone else the next day, and I let him go instantly!!! I would never want my child to be bit by another daycare child, so I had to let him go.

[Crystal]

I do have a bully. He's been with me since he was one. He's now 5. His parents have never set any boundaries for him and even allow him to bully his younger brother. I have given the warning to the parents, numerous times, and am advertising to fill the spaces. As soon as they are filled, the family will be terminated, without notice. I can only handle so much, it is not fair to myself, or the other children in care, that the behavior of one child stresses me out to the point of not enjoying my time with the rest of the group.

[momma2girls]

I totally agree with everything!!!

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

I am agreeing with everyone!!!!

[Former Teacher]

Oh I wish my former director was like you guys. I can't even begin to tell you the number of bullies I have had to deal with in my time in daycare. I am talking about to me personally as well. I have been slapped, pinched, kicked, punched. All by preschool children. Sad thing is, the most that I could do or that was done was a time out.

Sure my former director did let go maybe 2 or 3 of these children. However these children "had no where else to go so we must do our best to help them". Total BS.

Once we had a boy who was 4 and he was SO mean that we were threatening to let him go. However school started and mom took him to the afterschool care. A few years later she needed summer care. Well mom flashed some green and he started coming again.

His goodness lasted about a week and then it was hedoublehockeysticks from then on. Finally when he caused a little boy to get a few stitches, we terminated him. Mom gave a sob story that if we could please hold out for the week yadda yadda. Of course that afternoon he caused another child a black eye.

As for biting, we did let a little boy go because of that. He was biting so many children that many of the parents ganged up on my former director and basically said him or them.

When I read posts from you all I have mixed feelings. One being that I am SO glad that I am no longer working in a child care center. Never again will I. On the flip side, it makes me proud that you will stand up for what is important: the children.

[Childminder]

I had a bully, BIG for his age and always tried to intimidate the little ones. He and I spent a lot of time side by side discussing his behavior (if you get what I mean) watching the others play. First cousin twice removed, so didn't terminate. Lots of support from mother and grandparents. I finally started teaching the other children (the older ones, anyhow)to face him and tell him in no uncertain terms to STOP. It worked and as it turned out he is the biggest crybaby. He still comes back on holidays and summer vacation and even though he had this same problem in school we seem to have conquered his bullying

[Unregistered]

I had my son in a preschool. There was another child that was really big and loud mouthed. I mean he would scream at the other kids. Everything that came out of that kid's mouth was bullying and controlling. What made matters worse; he was one of the other teacher's son. What finally made me pull our child was when the main teacher was standing there watching this child yell at all the other kids she says to me "isn't it interesting to watch the pecking order"? That did it!