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Why is that as time goes on, the general (new age) consensus belief is that children should only be redirected when they do something wrong? Maybe I'm just old-school in my beliefs that redirection does not teach children that they are doing something wrong. I definitely understand that redirection works great with the young ones (I think 18 months or less), but a 2 1/2 year old should have some consequences for their actions (for example, I don't know how effective re-direction is when a 2 1/2 year old hits another child on purpose). Am I alone on this? I just feel like my hands are tied.......
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I'm with you on this. I could complain all day about the lack of consequences parents give their children.
I don't understand it and I don't agree.
I think you need To introduce your child to reality as soon as possible.
Do the crime do the time... Lol sounds harsh but I feel children will not live and Lerner without consequence -
I believe in age appropriate consequences but agree that many parents take redirection wayyyyy too far. It is just momentary distraction so they don't have to do the hard work of training and teaching a kid.Comment
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Do you all think that re-direction is effective for an almost 3 year old who repeatedly takes toys away from other children (resulting in constant fighting and crying among the children)? I think re-direction would not teach this child that they are doing something wrong, yet because they have not met the magical number 3 yet, licensing requires me to only re-direct. If that were my child, they would know better than to take toys because I like to have consequences. The worst part is that licensing states that I must do the same for my child (only redirection up until 3).Comment
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wow...... No I dont think that at that age it teaches them very much, but I think that at this age words are very important..... I don't time outs very often, I do try to teach the children with words....ie susie tells me johnny hit her...
I will tell susie how did that make you feel and have her tell johnny, I will ignore johnny and give all the love and attention to susie. The victims gets praise and attention while the criminal (
) gets none. After some time passes and the criminal is upset that they are being ignored, They will be told that you hurt susie and hitting is NOT ok. Would you like it if someone hit you? There is NO hitting here. We use our hands for holding, not hitting.
However, in my DC you will be put in time out or lose a privillage if you hit someone. I don't tollerate any form of violence.Comment
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Sorry to threadjack, but come on. Add that to the ever growing list of why I don't want to be licensed. I don't agree with the 3 year old rule, I think that's an arbitrary number and kids are able to learn right from wrong much earlier. However, I can see enforcing a rule with daycare kids, but no one tells me what I can and cannot do with my OWN child in my OWN house.licensing states that I must do the same for my child (only redirection up until 3).
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I'm HUGE on consequences. That's life. We make decisions (good or bad) and there are consequences. I personally think children can learn that from a VERY young age.
Tiny little ones learn that if you stack the blocks too high ...they fall down. Consequences. Stick your fingers in Mommy's hot food (my own kids were good at this one
)......it hurts. Consequences.
Older kids get consequences at my day care. Hit another child...you (for example) lose doing the art project later. Consequences. This stands even the child is angelic until then. A promise is a promise. I promised they'd lose art. I keep that promise.
Help another child with their shoes just because.....get a surprise sticker. Consequences.
I read an article a few months ago that said today's high schoolers and even college grads are not prepared for the work place. They have been pampered and had "self-esteem" be the most important things in their education. These kids are suddenly sent into a tail spin when the boss slams a project on their desk and says "not good enough...try harder" They are so used to being told what a good job they did even when they didn't....that they can't cope with real life. And it starts in childhood with "re-direction". Never having to take responsibility for their actions. Of course small babies need only redirection. But older kids need to learn by example and consequences. I may be "old school" but so be it. Most of my DCP's like that I demand manners and good behavior.
Nowadays BOTH young school teams get a trophy so nobody feels left out. It's so crazy. What happened to just "good try, but better luck next time"? Kids are being raised to think "I can't ever lose" and can do no wrong and the world owes them something and then get a very rude awakening when they join the workforce.
I know I have said this before in other posts....but I am truly worried what lies before us in our old age. We spend a lot of time on this forum venting about selfish, rude, arrogant DCP's. The next generation is only going to get worse and they are going to make the decisions for us when we are senior citizens. Scary, huh?Comment
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What exactly IS redirection? Is it just distracting the child when they're doing something wrong?
So if Jason is taking toys from everyone, and I say, Hey Jason do you want to do this puzzle with me, and he stops taking taking toys because he's doing something else, is that redirecting? But doesn't that teach Jason, "When I misbehave, not only do I get to cause chaos, I get no consequences and I get a special activity tailored to me"?
Or is redirection, pulling Jason from the group and saying, "We don't take toys from our friends. Either ask to share or go get your own toys" and send him back to play?
I'm confused. I employ the latter all day long, but after about 3 times...you're going to be "redirected" to play alone for a while or go take a "rest"Comment
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redirecting is putting their attention elsewhere.
i agree with all the pps because that's what i was thinking too!
i usually get babies start around the 11mth -14 mth stage. by 14 mths they know what they are and are not allowed to do. They still test, but they are babies, and I allow for this. But with close supervision, they realize they won't get very far when doing certain things.
I think redirection until 3 yo is b/s. my 3 y/o ds is a major BRAT right now. Part of it is being the baby in the family, part of it is he's the evil child, and part of it is dh and i aren't always on the same page and that drives me batty. He went to bed at 6pm last night because he flat our refused to eat his supper. he decided it was better on the floor. then he snuck outside while dh was in shower and i was cleaning up. he had major temper tantrums, will stop, pout, drop on the floor and start kicking. We have NEVER given into his tantrums or bad behavior. We ALWAYS follow through, ie if you don't eat your supper you're going to bed for the rest of the night and you won't come out until the morning..ds pushes some food on the floor....in his bed he went. That might seem harsh to some of you, but you have NO idea how much this bad behavior has escalated lately. He's terrible 3yo. I thought that ended when they turned 3. We have tried a lot of things, and nothing seems to fix this problem. I get that some people are more stubborn, but this is ridonkulous. And when he threw a fit in the store the last time, I left my cart in the aisle and went home. kids in toe. I wish I could have spanked his butt, but i would be a bad mother for all those watching. The focus would have come off of wow what a bad kid, and it would've been wow what a bad mom. Let me tell you, my dad threatened with a belt, never hit with the belt but with the hand, and my sister and i are not damaged or scarred. Spankings were reserved for those moments they were deserved without a doubt.Comment
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I agree with you 100%!! I think redirection works on toddlers. I think around 2 they should start having consequences for what they do. I don't know how they are going to be expected to function as adults if they are always redirected from bad behavior. Our licensing rules are redirection under 3 and over you can use time out but it's not recommended. I still do things my way. I never have used time out much but there is a consequence for the choices you make. If you throw sand, you get out of the sandbox for the morning or afternoon. If you use a toy for a weapon, you are done with it for the day. If you hit someone you are done playing with them and get a small rug with toys I have selected and stay there for rest of the morning or afternoon. I do give them a second chance if it happens in the morning they get a second chance in the afternoon. They learn real quick that I mean what I say.Comment
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that is another key point you brought up morgan...
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY
ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH
i've seen it a million times, where parents (including me at one point) would threaten their child with something "you're not going to have icecream until your plate is empty", then the child takes 2 more bites says i'm full and they get icecream.
or "you're not going to have a birthday party if you don't clean your room" child tidies up room, makes a new mess, and still has a party.
never threaten with something you will not follow through with.Comment
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I have to agree with everyone. Don't you know its the "me" generation.Comment
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...stomps in with soapbox...looks around....remembers this topic get me riled up......shakes head and leaves.
I am going to have a good morning...I am going to have a good morning...::::
Good Morning everyone!!!
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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OH I couldn't agree more its the way new parents are now a days I guess I'm getting old. I love do you want to share when did sharing become a choice.Comment
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