I Hate You!! Your Mean!!!

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

How do you handle it when your DCK'S tell you your mean or they hate you when you tell them to behave or stop fighting, share toys, take turns, ect?
I was just told that i was mean for telling a dcb he had to wait his turn for a toy! Life ****s!!!

[sharlan]

I would always respond with a "I'm sorry, but I love you!" Don't let it upset you and don't feed into it.

[Crystal]

He would lose the privilege of playing with that toy at all. I would also let him know that he is NOT allowed to disrespect me by speaking to me like that. If he said he hates you, I'd be having a conversation with Mom about it....I would not tolerate it.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Oh im not upset! I was just curious as to how you all deal with that! If it is directed towards me, I ignore it. If it is directed towards the other kids, I tell them that is not how we talk to our friends.

[DBug]

I'm one who tends to be direct with those kinds of words. I say something like "Those words are rude and disrespectful. Please don't say them again." (in the mean mommy voice). If they did, they'd get a timeout. Everyone has a right to express themselves, but I think there are less hurtful ways to do it.

[Unregistered]

Disrespect earns a pretty fast time out in my house. Zero tolerance.

[heyhun77]

I have one that tries to get a rise out of me by sayingn things like that. I turn it around and say "I don't like your behavior right now, either but I love you very much". It usually diffuses whatever anger they had over such small things like taking turns, not being able to run in the house, not being able to bring out all the toys because it's time for lunch or any number of tiny things that I have done to ruin their life in the present moment. It's not usually anything big that is the root of the anger.

[MyAngels]

He would lose the privilege of playing with that toy at all. I would also let him know that he is NOT allowed to disrespect me by speaking to me like that. If he said he hates you, I'd be having a conversation with Mom about it....I would not tolerate it.

I agree with this. If you simply ignore it, I feel like it gives the impression that you are OK with it.

[SimpleMom]

I usually say something like this: Sorry you feel that way. or Thank you for sharing your feelings.

Followed with the exact same wording of what they were asked to do or whatnot.

[kcnjason]

I hate you!

I have a 5 year old who acts the exact same way!!!! She is my own child and we are a very loving family. We teach to say kind words and to be kind. However, she is very strong willed and says and does mean things. I often will ignore her but usually remind her that we love her, it doesn't seem to work. She soon pops out and apologizes. When you find a good solution, please let me know so I can try it out.

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

Glad to see it's not just me who's mean! jk A certain two of our children at least daily, let me know I'm mean and they hate this daycare. They copy off of each other around here, so once one child says the phrase, it doesn't take long for someone else to say it when they're mad. Usually I just say, "I know." Or just ignore it completely. Anything else invites them to argue the point some more. If I talk to them about that being disrespectful, they just get madder and repeat it with a few more comments on the issue: "I hate you! I want my mom!", "I wish you weren't here!", Or "I'm going to tell mom to find me another daycare!"
To hear them when they get mad, you'd think we had the worst daycare imaginable, and we were the worst teachers ever But when things are going well, and they're getting to do something they like, all of a sudden I'm the best teacher ever.

[BusyBee]

Glad to see it's not just me who's mean! jk A certain two of our children at least daily, let me know I'm mean and they hate this daycare. They copy off of each other around here, so once one child says the phrase, it doesn't take long for someone else to say it when they're mad. Usually I just say, "I know." Or just ignore it completely. Anything else invites them to argue the point some more. If I talk to them about that being disrespectful, they just get madder and repeat it with a few more comments on the issue: "I hate you! I want my mom!", "I wish you weren't here!", Or "I'm going to tell mom to find me another daycare!"
To hear them when they get mad, you'd think we had the worst daycare imaginable, and we were the worst teachers ever But when things are going well, and they're getting to do something they like, all of a sudden I'm the best teacher ever.

I could have written that. too true.