PLEASE Help With Horrible Disrespect

[PitterPatter]

Have u ever been told off and called names by a DCM just utterly disrespected u after u have gone beyond showing her acts of kindness?

I am sitting here in shock this evening over a DCM that I recently had to serve a term notice to due to her disrepect and mood swings. I used another excuse so as to remain a civil relationship. We have managed to be civil all week but it came to a head tonight when she owed me payment for this weeks care and skipped out. It was only for $10 but that's $10 that I NEED! She makes more than I do for Gods sake and still gets free daycare! (pays $2 per day)

I am so steamed I am about to blow privacy policy right here so I will step back and try to cool some more but please if anyone here has had issues with this amount of disrespect with a state paid client and have been trapped for the remaining 2 weeks please give me some advise!

[QualiTcare]

Have u ever been told off and called names by a DCM just utterly disrespected u after u have gone beyond showing her acts of kindness?

I am sitting here in shock this evening over a DCM that I recently had to serve a term notice to due to her disrepect and mood swings. I used another excuse so as to remain a civil relationship. We have managed to be civil all week but it came to a head tonight when she owed me payment for this weeks care and skipped out. It was only for $10 but that's $10 that I NEED! She makes more than I do for Gods sake and still gets free daycare! (pays $2 per day)

I am so steamed I am about to blow privacy policy right here so I will step back and try to cool some more but please if anyone here has had issues with this amount of disrespect with a state paid client and have been trapped for the remaining 2 weeks please give me some advise!

you're not trapped for two weeks. if she didn't PAY you then SHE broke whatever contract/agreement you had and you can tell her not to bring the child back unless she has the money she owes you. i guess i'm missing how you can be trapped.

[melskids]

i dont mess around with two week notices...and fighting for the pay. if i have THAT much of a problem with someone theyre gone THAT DAY. my sanity and piece of mind is worth more than $.

ive only had that happen once though.

[Kaddidle Care]

Have u ever been told off and called names by a DCM just utterly disrespected u after u have gone beyond showing her acts of kindness?

I am sitting here in shock this evening over a DCM that I recently had to serve a term notice to due to her disrepect and mood swings. I used another excuse so as to remain a civil relationship. We have managed to be civil all week but it came to a head tonight when she owed me payment for this weeks care and skipped out. It was only for $10 but that's $10 that I NEED! She makes more than I do for Gods sake and still gets free daycare! (pays $2 per day)

I am so steamed I am about to blow privacy policy right here so I will step back and try to cool some more but please if anyone here has had issues with this amount of disrespect with a state paid client and have been trapped for the remaining 2 weeks please give me some advise!

No payment, no care next week until it's paid and next week's pay is up front or at least payment daily. I'm gathering that next week is her last week? Good riddance to her. You can only take so much - vent away.

[PitterPatter]

The reason she may have the right to daycare for the rest of the 2 weeks (her last day is 24th I wrote on the term letter) The state will simply say "As always it is your option to terminate the contract but u must give a full 2 week notice and allow the child access to daycare no matter the reason for termination" I was told this when I termed a child 2 yrs ago for constantly breaking things. Other providers have complained about this rule as well so I assume it still stands. I will call 1st thing Monday to find out for sure BUT she is scheduled to bring her child before the center opens on Monday. So if I turn her away I run the risk of losing my certificate/registration.

I want so badly to post the whole story of yesterday including the nasty texts and lies but I don't know how far I am permitted to go here so I am holding back. Plus it was very long when I typed it out last night so I deleted it.

[nannyde]

The reason she may have the right to daycare for the rest of the 2 weeks (her last day is 24th I wrote on the term letter) The state will simply say "As always it is your option to terminate the contract but u must give a full 2 week notice and allow the child access to daycare no matter the reason for termination" I was told this when I termed a child 2 yrs ago for constantly breaking things. Other providers have complained about this rule as well so I assume it still stands. I will call 1st thing Monday to find out for sure BUT she is scheduled to bring her child before the center opens on Monday. So if I turn her away I run the risk of losing my certificate/registration.

I want so badly to post the whole story of yesterday including the nasty texts and lies but I don't know how far I am permitted to go here so I am holding back. Plus it was very long when I typed it out last night so I deleted it.

That is a rediculous rule and worth fighting. There are situations where parents or children are behaving so badly that you should not have to continue their services.

Is this in writing from the State or is it just words from the workers?

[Cat Herder]

Have u ever been told off and called names by a DCM just utterly disrespected u after u have gone beyond showing her acts of kindness?

Oh, hun..I am so sorry.

I have found that the level of respect and appreciation we receive from parents is most often inversely related to the number of exceptions we make for and favors we do for them.

For the same reasons good fences make good neighbors; a good contract enforced makes good working relationships with daycare parents.

You do not have to accept them into care without full payment. Yo do not have to honor the contract if she has not paid. By not paying she has made the contract invalid.

The ball is in your court. Take a deep breath, enjoy your weekend, then deal with her Monday as you send her away...child in hand.

Now, If she has cash in hand Monday, you may want to try and get through or not....it is YOUR choice. Neither is wrong, only you can decide what is more important at that moment.

You MUST let go of the emotional side of this, though, to continue for the two week notice...or the child suffers. They feel the tension, anxiety and are scared by it.

[PitterPatter]

Oh, hun..I am so sorry.

I have found that the level of respect and appreciation we receive from parents is most often inversely related to the number of exceptions we make for and favors we do for them.

For the same reasons good fences make good neighbors; a good contract enforced makes good working relationships with daycare parents.

You do not have to accept them into care without full payment. Yo do not have to honor the contract if she has not paid. By not paying she has made the contract invalid.

The ball is in your court. Take a deep breath, enjoy your weekend, then deal with her Monday as you send her away...child in hand.

Now, If she has cash in hand Monday, you may want to try and get through or not....it is YOUR choice. Neither is wrong, only you can decide what is more important at that moment.

You MUST let go of the emotional side of this, though, to continue for the two week notice...or the child suffers. They feel the tension, anxiety and are scared by it.

I have been very emotional from her in the past and once i get busy with the kids I am ok. The kids make my day. Especially her kid because I know he doesn't get the attention he should and is ignored so I work very closley with him. He has come such a long way with me I almost dont want to let him go. ALMOST! Thank u for your help!! I don't know where I stand, hell even her texts she doesnt know where she stands and she calls me a nut? I want to show the texts as I am just shocked a client would talk to me in such a way.

That is a rediculous rule and worth fighting. There are situations where parents or children are behaving so badly that you should not have to continue their services.

Is this in writing from the State or is it just words from the workers?

I have not seen this is writing just was told verbally by my supervisor. Prob is once I turn her away I COULD be in trouble because I can't get confirmation until after her scheduled drop off.

[PitterPatter]

I guess in my rant I forgot to mention what has her so angry is the $10 late payment fee. That's what made her send 10 texts calling me crazy for charging $10 for 1 day late. I also got u are a nut! Now u ain't getting s**t from me, etc. Yet u watch she will show up Monday for care.

So I wanted to ask what u all charge for a late payment fee? Is it charged daily?

I don't even know if I am permitted to charge it as state laws here are all for the client it seems but I got so tired of these state funded clients not paying thier portion I changed the contract and it has her signature in 3 dif places on that very page that states the amount of the fees.

[Kaddidle Care]

Is there some way you can forward her texts to the State so that they can see the way she is treating someone that THEY pay?

I have never dealt with State paid care although the Center I work at does accept them. (I don't get involved with the money)

I would call the State, tell them you are being verbally abused by the parent and have the texts to prove it. See what they say about notice of termination but make sure you get it all in writing. Trust no one!

[nannyde]

I have been very emotional from her in the past and once i get busy with the kids I am ok. The kids make my day. Especially her kid because I know he doesn't get the attention he should and is ignored so I work very closley with him. He has come such a long way with me I almost dont want to let him go. ALMOST! Thank u for your help!! I don't know where I stand, hell even her texts she doesnt know where she stands and she calls me a nut? I want to show the texts as I am just shocked a client would talk to me in such a way.



I have not seen this is writing just was told verbally by my supervisor. Prob is once I turn her away I COULD be in trouble because I can't get confirmation until after her scheduled drop off.

I would just tell them that the situation has escalated and at this point you don't feel it is a safe situation to have her around your day care children.

One thing I have seen over the years is providers getting advice from workers and then passing it onto each other. I've also seen workers doing their own interpretation of regulations.

What you need to see is the REGULATIONS or the contractual agreement you have with the state that says you must give two weeks regardless of the situation. I'll betcha it's not in there. I'll bet if it is addressed it comes packaged in hedging words like "should" or "prefer" not specific words like MUST.

The State can't possibly think that all situations require notice. Ultimately they serve the kids and some parental behavior is so unsafe that it is not in the interest of the OTHER children to have the parent on site. They have to allow for the fact that they will service clients who are criminals, drug addicts, mentally ill, predators, conduct disorders, etc.

Just because someone gives birth to a child and has the income level to qualify for free or near free child care it doesn't mean that the person is safe.

[Michelle]

this happened to me, but cost me a little more,
I had a mom that was terminated by the state for not going to a recertification meeting, I didn't know she was terminated. This was all happening when the whole state of California budget mess was going on, so nobody was getting paid for these stage 3 families but they said we would when the budget passed, well the budget passed, everyone got paid but me and found out that she lied and had me watch her 3 kids all this time adding up to $8,000.00 over 4 months. lesson learned, and it will never happen again..
agreed.. trust noone

[nannyde]

this happened to me, but cost me a little more,
I had a mom that was terminated by the state for not going to a recertification meeting, I didn't know she was terminated. This was all happening when the whole state of California budget mess was going on, so nobody was getting paid for these stage 3 families but they said we would when the budget passed, well the budget passed, everyone got paid but me and found out that she lied and had me watch her 3 kids all this time adding up to $8,000.00 over 4 months. lesson learned, and it will never happen again..
agreed.. trust noone

Did you pursue the Mom for the funds?

[wdmmom]

I guess in my rant I forgot to mention what has her so angry is the $10 late payment fee. That's what made her send 10 texts calling me crazy for charging $10 for 1 day late. I also got u are a nut! Now u ain't getting s**t from me, etc. Yet u watch she will show up Monday for care.

So I wanted to ask what u all charge for a late payment fee? Is it charged daily?

I don't even know if I am permitted to charge it as state laws here are all for the client it seems but I got so tired of these state funded clients not paying thier portion I changed the contract and it has her signature in 3 dif places on that very page that states the amount of the fees.

I charge $10 per day (max of $50) if they reach 5 days late, they owe me the balance plus the $50 before I will resume care. No payment (in full) no daycare. No exceptions!

[Michael]

I would just tell them that the situation has escalated and at this point you don't feel it is a safe situation to have her around your day care children.

One thing I have seen over the years is providers getting advice from workers and then passing it onto each other. I've also seen workers doing their own interpretation of regulations.

What you need to see is the REGULATIONS or the contractual agreement you have with the state that says you must give two weeks regardless of the situation. I'll betcha it's not in there. I'll bet if it is addressed it comes packaged in hedging words like "should" or "prefer" not specific words like MUST.

The State can't possibly think that all situations require notice. Ultimately they serve the kids and some parental behavior is so unsafe that it is not in the interest of the OTHER children to have the parent on site. They have to allow for the fact that they will service clients who are criminals, drug addicts, mentally ill, predators, conduct disorders, etc.

Just because someone gives birth to a child and has the income level to qualify for free or near free child care it doesn't mean that the person is safe.

Exactly. You're safety comes first. No one is going to expect you to allow an unsafe, unstable person in your home.What state are you in.