Breakfast...Again

[mrs.meg]

Hi,

I had told all of you about my breakfast situation, it has been one week since school has been out and we have not been doing breakfast, and I already have a mom who came in today with her boys and 2 unwrapped honey buns and told them they could go eat at the table, the other day one of the boys who tends to eat very very slow, had 1/2 of a donut, since I didn't say anything, I guess she had to push the envelope. Yesterday, one of the boys didn't have breakfast, but my snacks are much better than their breakfasts, but I do not give large portions, a snack is a snack.

I do feel a little bad and I knew that honey buns and donuts are what they eat for breakfast, but I have 5 of my own children and cannot be responsible for them to. We are doing a healthy snack in the morning, and one of the boys refuses to eat it. He eats nothing nutritious except carrots.

Should I put it in writing just as a friendly reminder or should I just tell her in person, which would be the less of 2 evils? I know she will get upset and is there a way to word this that would not come across as rude? I would have said something this morning but I was really frustrated and knew I would be rude if I opened my mouth, sometimes I have to chill out for a bit. It is just not right for them to be eating "treats" while my girls are eating their oatmeal, though surprisingly my girls didn't say anything.

[Cat Herder]

I would not go into what is appropriate for the parents to offer their kids on THEIR time. It backfires , check out my old unexplained diarrhea thread for details if you have the stomach for it. ::

I would just enforce the NO FOOD FROM HOME policy.

Every time, consistently. Problem solved. Simple is how I roll.

[nannyde]

No breakfast for me meant:


I don't DO any breakfast.
I don't cook it,
serve it,
supervise it,
or clean it up.

The children must be COMPLETELY done with breakfast and breakfast drink BEFORE knocking on my door. This means that they can't bring any food or drink item into the house and they must be cleaned up completely BEFORE knocking on my door.

[youretooloud]

ONE time, I had a dad walk in with a bag of McDonalds pancakes and sausage for his two girls. I made him take them back outside to eat in the car. He never tried that one again. Apparently he could smell the syrup for weeks.

I tried to tell them BEFORE that it's unfair for the other kids to eat cheerios and bananas, then watch two kids come in with mcdonalds pancakes, but nothing to share with the others. But, apparently, he needed to be inconvenienced himself before he learned.

[mrs.meg]

I am going to copy that, Nannyde, it seems that everything has to be spelled out for them and even if I think I am specific, they try to wiggle through.

yourtooloud, that is hilarious!! I probably wouldn't have the guts to do that, but I admire your assertiveness!

Thanks Catherder, I will have to be more forceful, which goes against my wimpy nature!

[daycare]

I do serve breakfast, however, I have stated in my PHB that if your child arrives after 8:30am, Please feed your child a well balanced healthy breakfast before arriving. Breakfast is the most important day for your child and will set the foundation for thier day. Healthy kids make healthy choices.

I don't think that it is rude that you ask someone to follow your rules. I would not go into saying please don't feed your kids this or that. tell the mom that the food she is sending it not enough and that the kids are asking to eat before snack, as they are hungry. If this were me, I would also send out a letter addressed to all parents or post a note stating, please remember to bring a well balanced meal for your children for breakfast.

good luck with this.

[momma2girls]

I had one family, who couldn't eat breakfast at home either. I told the Mom on the phone, before she started, that she couldn't bring in breakfast. So what does she do, brings in breakfast. It was the only day this happened, because another family seen this, and she came in with breakfast the next am. I had to tell both of them, no longer accepting anything brought in for breakfast from anyone. We have an am snack at 9:00am, they didn't arrive til about 7:40 am, so there isn't any reason why they cannot eat at home. I placed this in my contract about 5 yrs. ago about not serving breakfast here any longer, but will serve an am snack.

[Cat Herder]

I wanted to mention that you may want to tell them exactly WHAT snack entails, now.

"1 serving, per child, of one fruit/veggie and 1 starch/bread/cereal served with 4-6 ounces of milk/juice."

A snack is not a meal.

I say this because it will soon BECOME breakfast, just later in the morning, to the parents if you don't set it in stone now. Hopefully then they will feed their kid a full breakfast instead of just handing them a treat in the car and "letting" them eat multiple servings of your "snack" instead. BTDT.

[daycare]

I wanted to mention that you may want to tell them exactly WHAT snack entails, now.

"1 serving, per child, of one fruit/veggie and 1 starch/bread/cereal served with 4-6 ounces of milk/juice."

A snack is not a meal.

I say this because it will soon BECOME breakfast, just later in the morning, to the parents if you don't set it in stone now. Hopefully then they will feed their kid a full breakfast instead of just handing them a treat in the car and "letting" them eat multiple servings of your "snack" instead. BTDT.

soooo true...great point!!!

[Live and Learn]

This situation is like the distorted mirror image of the other current thread where a DAYCARE PROVIDER was taking the car full of children to mcdonald's and only getting ice-cream and treats for herself and her own kids....not the daycare kids.:confused:

In this case it is the PARENT that is bringing in treats for her own kids ....no treats to share.:confused:

Both situations are equally rude.

I guarantee you OP, if you took your car full of kids to McD and only got treats for your own children you would hear complaints from this mom.


In my house I have each dc child come fed each day. I have nothing to do with breakfast.

[Live and Learn]

Should I put it in writing just as a friendly reminder or should I just tell her in person

:on't get me started again on those "friendly reminder notes"!!!::

Anything worth talking about should be said face to face.

:confused:You might ask her how her kids would feel if you drove through McD and got treats for everyone but her children....and then gave her kids celery sticks.:confused:

[Mom_of_two]

Face to face, for sure. I email sometimes, but always follow up or initiate with face to face. I think otherwise it looks like it isn't important, or you are afraid. It is disrespectful for the behavior to continue- she needs to get up earlier and feed her children!

[mrs.meg]

Thanks Live and learn, I will talk to her face to face, I just hate confrontation, so I guess I am a little afraid and it is stupid!

It is like the opposite of the mom going to McD's. She and her mother (the grandmother) have brought them in with donuts and it drives me crazy. I would never take my child to a house full of kids with just a few mini donuts for them, that is so rude and donuts are pretty cheap, why would you not just bring them for everyone? Sometimes when I keep my husband's nieces, they bring 2 mini-chocolate donuts each. They said that this is their breakfast every day, even on the weekends. I think I would starve to death!

Catherder, Good point about telling her what a snack is. Her boys are very small and are not big eaters unless it involves sugar anyway.

[littlemissmuffet]

The more food related threads I read the more disturbed I become about how parents "parent" . I have seen alot of this stuff personally, but to hear about how widespread it is makes me feel sick. Literally.

When I was a child sugar/junk food was a treat.
TV was a treat.
Staying up past my 9pm bed time was a treat.

TREATS WERE VERY OCCASIONAL!!!!


I love my mom. She did a fantastic job raising children who have become fantastic daycare providers. Thanks mom!