Best Friends At A Young Age?

[Unregistered]

How would you handle clicks forming with a 2/3 yr old group?
I have never had children at this age worry about who is their best friend.
And you can only play with me because you are MY friend??

Thanks for the help...

[Mom_of_two]

I would not allow the talk or exclusion at all.

On occasion, as a game, my older will say 'ahhh! the baby is coming!' and run or hide or close the (toy) door, and I redirect them, explain that we say hi to all of our friends, we are All friends, and Everybody plays. If not, the child who continues may need time away from the group until she can play nice etc.

[grandmom]

Example: I don't want to sit next to her!
My reply: Tthen you can be excused from the table. Put your plate away.

Example: We don't want her in the playhouse.
My reply: Maggie you need to come out and find something else to do. Susie, you can stay there, while Jill joins you.

Example: I'm not inviting you to my birthday party.
My reply: Sweetie, your birthday party is here at daycare, all your friends will be invited.

Whoever SAYS the statement is excluded immediately. It happens rarely here. Especially at a meal. Sometimes, I let the offender come back to the table when everyone is finished eating, but not often.

[sharlan]

That is an attitude that I nip in bud in a hurry. Whoever starts it gets some special one on one attention with themselves while everybody else plays. It generally one takes a couple of times playing off in the corner by themselves with no toys, to stop it.

These are all my toys and I only let my friends who play nicely play with them.

[cheerfuldom]

yup, nip in the bud. if they can't play together then the game is over. teach them that everyone is friends and encourage games between kids that don't normally play together.

[sharlan]

I didn't use to see this behavior in younger kids. I'd start to see it with the girls at about 10 - 12 years.

My dd saw a lot of it this year in the K classes. The teachers seemed to believe that it was acceptable.

[Hunni Bee]

I didn't use to see this behavior in younger kids. I'd start to see it with the girls at about 10 - 12 years.

My dd saw a lot of it this year in the K classes. The teachers seemed to believe that it was acceptable.

I have 3, 4 and 5 year olds...and I see it in ALL my girls. I don't allow it at all. We play with everybody or we don't play.

[Abigail]

We have a three year old girl who can be really bossy and usually needs a break daily due to attitude. If she is told no or has to wait too long she will get mad at whoever and says "You're not my friend anymore" and the other person usually replys "I don't care, you are not my friend anymore" LOL.

[QualiTcare]

i disagree with the others. it's perfectly normal for kids (usually around 4) to start the "best friend" thing. i don't condone being mean to other kids or bullying other kids, but even at a young age they find people they identify with. not to mention, sometimes kids don't like playing with certain other kids for a good reason. when my daughter was in daycare there were a couple of little girls she played with regularly and they all called each other "best friends" and then there was one girl who was mean as a rattlesnake to her. she would say and do mean things and then follow her and her "best friends" around wanting to play. she didn't want to play with the girl and i would've been upset if she were made to play with someone who was a little devil to her. i almost had to take her to the ER over this child once. we always tell our kids to "walk away" from people they don't get along with, etc., but then turn around and tell them they have to play with everyone? as adults there are people we are civil toward and not "mean" to, but we don't want to hang out with them or go out to dinner (play). i don't know why children should have different expectations when it comes to selecting friends.

[Candyland]

I don't allow it either. Right now, while they're little, they can learn appropriate social interactions directed by us. If they choose to act this way when they're older, well, then, that's pretty sad and their loss. That type of behavior is social accepted in this backward world...just tune into any of your MTV reality shows. Sad