Dealing With Parents

[nannyde]

nannyde I think you're right on with what you're saying. She makes excuses all the time. Blames a LOT of stuff on her husband like "he bought her the shoes and they're too small"...uhhhh bring them back and exchange them?? Obviously it's a lie and she just doesn't want to deal with it. She KNOWS what she's doing...you're absolutely right!!

I have thought a lot about just buying the supplies and having it here but my husband says it's not my job. He just doesn't understand how it impacts my day when they're not dressed properly.

It's not your job to provide clothing and keep the kids groomed BUT it may be what you have to do to keep the job.

Do you want their money? If you want their money then you may have to provide basic necessities while you have them. Dealing with clothes that don't fit and are inappropriate is way more work than the cost of buying some used basic t-shirts, sweats, shorts, and sturdy shoes.

I would rather just supply easy on fitted clothing than to deal with clothes all day. The time to switch them in and out of them is way less than dealing with clothes that don't fit or are cumbersome.

[Ariana]

For sure!! I've been providing socks and a hat for the younger girl so far this summer and have been brushing their hair. I used to put their hair up in pigtails and braids to make them feel good about themselves but couldn't get the mother to bring back my elastics. Now I just put them up in clips that I take out before they go home I've had to wash the little ones snowsuit, it was horrible. I debated with myself over that one because I thought the mom would notice and be angry...in the end she either didn't notice or didn't care!!

I don't think it's an issue where child services would be needed and I really don't mind doing it I just HATE that this woman comes to my door nice as pie trying to chat me up and I just feel like yelling at her. UGH The worst part of my job is not the kids it's the "adults"...and I use the term loosely

I'm glad I'm, not the only one who has experienced this. I just sent her an e-mail about the high heel shoes and extra summer clothes. If she shows up tomorrow with the heels I'll tell her again to her face.

[sharlan]

Ask the mother to bring you a bag full of bands for the girls' hair. I find it's easier to have them send me a whole bunch at once than try to get back one or two at a time.

[Ariana]

sharlan there is no way she'd bring me the elastics!!

Well I e-mailed her last night and this morning she brings over a pair of running shoes about 4 inches too big for her child who is 5. nannyde you totally called it.

Guess I'll be shopping for shoes

[nannyde]

nannyde you totally called it.

When you tell her they are too big she will say "she wears them all the time at home and she does great." OR my personal fave: "the lady at the shoe store said this is the size she's supposed to have."

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Now when she says that don't bust out laughing. You now know the secret code words.

[Ariana]

When you tell her they are too big she will say "she wears them all the time at home and she does great." OR my personal fave: "the lady at the shoe store said this is the size she's supposed to have."

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Now when she says that don't bust out laughing. You now know the secret code words.

:::::: You have no idea how much this made my day!! Seriously I have been dealing with this parent for 8 months and it feels so good to just get everything off my chest and laugh at it all!!! I had a wonderful day today because of this thread and all you wise DCP's who've BTDT!!

[nannyde]

:::::: You have no idea how much this made my day!! Seriously I have been dealing with this parent for 8 months and it feels so good to just get everything off my chest and laugh at it all!!! I had a wonderful day today because of this thread and all you wise DCP's who've BTDT!!

After you have been doing this for a long while you will find that people behave much more alike than they do differently.

When parents are misbehaving they act the same way. If they are being negligent with clothing they say the exact same words... with the same body language... same facial expression... and when any of that is rejected they have the same mad reaction.

When they are concealing their child's illness they give you the SAME look at drop off. They say the same hedging words...

When they stopped by the Walmart on their way home and tell you they are late because they got stopped by a train... THE SAME.

It just takes time to learn the ropes on what it looks like.

Now the parent believes they came up with the ruse. They never consider that you have seen that same exact expression 189 times before. They don't think they are using the exact same phrase as those who came before them.

Now and then someone will come up with a unique one but for the the most part they do the same.