Own Kids Vs Daycare Kids

[sharlan]

Do you treat your own kids differently in front of your daycare kids?

A friend asked me this yesterday. She was telling me that her provider goes to the local coffee place daily to get herself a coffee drink, but doesn't get the dcks anything because it is "her treat". After school, she stops at McD's to buy her kids ice cream, but not the dcks because "they are her babies and they deserve a treat". The daycare kids are in the car while she enjoys her "treat" and they are in the car when her own kids enjoy their "treat".

As a provider how do you feel about this? As a parent, how would you feel about this?

Growing up, my girls knew that if they got a treat, so did the other kids. My kids had the same rules as the others, except they were allowed to retreat to their bedrooms whenever they wanted and they were allowed to go to friends' houses. Both not happening for the dcks. Otherwise, they all ate the same food at the same time and went to the same places.

My girls had a provider that took all of the school aged kids out for ice cream once a week. They would stop at a local Thrifty's drugstore and eat their treat before going back to the provider's house. The little ones had no knowledge of this. The older kids knew that if they told the little ones, the special treat would end.

[MyAngels]

I would never allow any kind of special treatment for my own children (or anyone else for that matter). If one person gets something special, everyone gets it.

[daysofelijah]

My kids get lots of priveleges the dcks do not get. The McDonald's ice cream in front of the dcks is really rude though. That seems mean. That I definitely would not do.

[nannyde]

I don't eat in front of the kids something they can't have and either does my son.

She could have done all of that without the kids even knowing about it. You can give your kids special without it affecting your business.

NOT nice.

[lil angels]

Wow that is a bit much. Ice cream in front of the others how rude!! I get it that her kids can do things different than the others but that is to much. My kids have to eat and do what the daycare kids do except for if it gets to be to much they can go to their rooms and play if they like. I don't even let my oldest have gum in front of the kids because I don't want them to have it. Mean!!!! Save that stuff for special family time in the evenings.

[Sunshine44]

I treat my daughter a little differently because she is my daughter and she is the oldest. My dck's don't really understand what she is doing or eating at their ages right now. I would not take them all somewhere and let her get a special treat and eat it in front of the other kids, I'd buy them all something special. But at home, my kid can play in her room, eat what she wants for snack/lunch (depending on what I provide for her) and the other kids don't get that because their mom's pack their lunches. They only get what mom sends for them.

[mrs.meg]

I do treat my kids differently, but not in front of the dck's. If I were the parent and that happened with other kids eating ice cream in front of the others, I would remove my child. That is very selfish and rude. The dck's are in the playroom when my children eat breakfast, and at naptime, my older girls get their snack before the others, but the other kids never know about it.

[meganlavonnesmommy]

Definately very rude. I do treat my kids differently, but not when it comes to special treats. If my children get a treat, so do the other daycare kids. Kids dont understand why they cant have one too. I think its emotionally abusive to give your own kids treats, in front of the others and not give the other kids some too.

I do let my own kids do things the daycare kids cant. My own son gets to play outside with a neighborhood friend during naptime. And the daycare kids that dont nap have to stay inside. Both my kids get to play upstairs in their rooms if they want to. Daycare kids are not allowed upstairs. My son is allowed to eat breakfast whenver he wakes up, not at 7am with the rest of the kids. And my daughter gets special afternoon snacks that the other kids dont get. But that is because she has a food allergy, and most of the snacks I serve she cant have.

Other than that, they are all treated the same.

[dEHmom]

I can just imagine how this woman treats the dck's.

If she's so bold to do the icecream/coffee treats in front of the other kids, she does NOT have a heart. Anyone who can do that is heartless and has no business being in childcare.

IF my children get a special treat, it's while the babies are asleep and don't know, or it's after the dck's leave. and I still feel guilty the babies didn't get it. But 12 m.o. don't need freezies, popsicles, or any other treats like that.

[youretooloud]

My daughter had a few special privileges that the daycare kids didn't have. SHe woke up later in the day and would get her own breakfast, that was the only time she was allowed to eat in front of the kids. (she was also much older then too)

She was always allowed to go in her room to play, and often would take her friend in there, but the other kids couldn't go in.

Other than that, I'd never eat in front of them, or allow my child to have a treat in front of them. All the kids get the same thing no matter who they are.

[boysx5]

I never let my kids have something the daycare kids can't have they wait until we go. I buy stuff for the daycare kids all the time I treat them like my own and enjoy doing that

[sharlan]

My daughter had a few special privileges that the daycare kids didn't have. SHe woke up later in the day and would get her own breakfast, that was the only time she was allowed to eat in front of the kids. (she was also much older then too)

She was always allowed to go in her room to play, and often would take her friend in there, but the other kids couldn't go in.

Other than that, I'd never eat in front of them, or allow my child to have a treat in front of them. All the kids get the same thing no matter who they are.

That's understandable, the kids had already been fed. #1 rule in my house, NOBODY eats until the littles are fed.

It's also understandable to keep your kids' rooms offlimits. Mine were allowed to let the others into their room IF they wanted, but otherwise the bedrooms were offlimits.

[laundrymom]

I would be honest with your friend. I'd tell her she can either confront her provider and ask why she would be so rude to her young dayfriends or I would terminate and be sure she knew why. My kids do get treats and privileges that the others don't. But they never see hear or smell any. It's just plain bad manners.

Do you treat your own kids differently in front of your daycare kids?

A friend asked me this yesterday. She was telling me that her provider goes to the local coffee place daily to get herself a coffee drink, but doesn't get the dcks anything because it is "her treat". After school, she stops at McD's to buy her kids ice cream, but not the dcks because "they are her babies and they deserve a treat". The daycare kids are in the car while she enjoys her "treat" and they are in the car when her own kids enjoy their "treat".

As a provider how do you feel about this? As a parent, how would you feel about this?

Growing up, my girls knew that if they got a treat, so did the other kids. My kids had the same rules as the others, except they were allowed to retreat to their bedrooms whenever they wanted and they were allowed to go to friends' houses. Both not happening for the dcks. Otherwise, they all ate the same food at the same time and went to the same places.

My girls had a provider that took all of the school aged kids out for ice cream once a week. They would stop at a local Thrifty's drugstore and eat their treat before going back to the provider's house. The little ones had no knowledge of this. The older kids knew that if they told the little ones, the special treat would end.

[Blackcat31]

My kids got no special privileges. I was probably a lot tougher on them than the dck's because I knew they were raised a certain way and I had specific expectations for them as their parent. However, I do give "treats" out to some dck's and not others when it is deserved. If one child earned a treat, it doesn't mean everyone gets one too. I don't put a sticker on everyones reward chart just because Billy went potty.....kwim?

I do not feel that is rude or mean because in real life we do not all get raises because someone else did.

[daycare]

I do treat my son differently than the other DCK. My son did not ask for me to have a DC so I don't think that he should be under lock and key of DC rules for over 50 hours a week.

I sneak in a little extra stuff here and there. He can go to his room when he want and sometimes will allow for him to take a special treat to the family room and veg by himself. I also allow for my 3 year old to hang out with my older two kids 13 and 15 in the game room that was especially built for my teens. The DCK are not allowed to go in that room, as it is in the garage and not part of my DC..

I would never give a treat to my child in front of the others. I think that is teasing and sad.

I also allow for my son to go down an hour later for nap, because this is our only alone time together throughout the whole day. He sleeps in his room which is right next to the DCR so it works out ok.....