I Just Termed After 2 Days

[momma4many]

I had this boy for 2 days and couldn't do it. I feel like a failure. No matter what I did, he cried. He would not play, just cry. On top of that, his mother was 1/2 hour late both days, Dad dropped him off 45 min early both days, going over part time to full time. He was inconsolable, scratching my face and slapping me. Why do I feel bad?! I cried after she left, and I'm worried she is mad and will make up some rediculous thing to call licensing about. But the relief is IMMENSE. I caught her in several lies (in 2 days! Obviously, she could not tell the truth about anything, including her son). When I asked her what they do at home to console him, she said she didn't know, her dh was home with him and they didn't talk about it. She said he didn't hit or scratch at home. Two seconds later, he was hitting her and scratching at her face/neck. I flat out told her it was a liability issue for me, he was going to hurt himself or another child. She just said, "Fine", and left. Guess I'm not superwoman after all

[Unregistered]

Dont fell bad for having to terminate. Sometimes it just isnt meant to be. Sounds like that child has some deeper issues to work out. I hope you find a good replacement.

[cheerfuldom]

Don't feel bad at all. I had the exact same type child last week and didn't even make it a day and a half. This one was 8 months old, how old was your little guy? Anyway, it was TONS of crying plus scratching and aggression towards the other kids. I can't believe the parents dropped off and picked up late both days! I say, good for you, you dodged a big fat bullet on this one.

[momma4many]

Don't feel bad at all. I had the exact same type child last week and didn't even make it a day and a half. This one was 8 months old, how old was your little guy? Anyway, it was TONS of crying plus scratching and aggression towards the other kids. I can't believe the parents dropped off and picked up late both days! I say, good for you, you dodged a big fat bullet on this one.

Thank you!! I still have mixed feelings, but I am relieved! He was 15 months old. First she said he had not been in daycare before, then she said he was kicked out of another daycare for biting so hard he drew blood . I have no idea what the truth really is, but I kinda think it was the latter. My other dck cried a bit the first day, but NOTHING like this. 6 hours and he wouldn't let me hold him, comfort him....nothing at all. He calmed down about 10 min before she got here today... and then freaked out and started screaming again when she walked in the door. I really just had no clue what to do with him. My family was like "do not let him come back!!" I couldn't eat or go to the bathroom until my dh got home b/c I was afraid to leave him unsupervised and he was throwing himself around the pack n play. I thought he would hurt himself or someone else. I feel like I dodged a bullet! Thank you for the encouragement!

[cheerfuldom]

she was definitely lying about the previous daycares. My DCM first said there was one previous daycare, then two and then right when I kicked her out for good, admitted that there were 3.

[nannyde]

You have just done two days with a rage baby. That's exactly what they look like. Best thing is for him to be with his own adult and no kids. You did the right thing.

[momma4many]

she was definitely lying about the previous daycares. My DCM first said there was one previous daycare, then two and then right when I kicked her out for good, admitted that there were 3.

Wow! Seems like something in that equation would trigger a light bulb for parents. Time for them to make some changes at home.

[momma4many]

You have just done two days with a rage baby. That's exactly what they look like. Best thing is for him to be with his own adult and no kids. You did the right thing.

That was what I was thinking. Especially b/c the last few minutes he was here were the only ones he didn't scream. It was just he and I at that point.

[MamaBear]

Rage Babies...

Rage Babies are my worst nightmare! ... I had an 8 month old "rage baby" a couple months ago that lasted 1.5 days. I felt a little bit of a failure when I termed but soooo relieved when he was gone. There was absolutely NO consoling him. Just wasnt worth the effort to me because nothing worked and all my other kiddos were so stressed out in his presence. I love how Nannyde coined that phrase "Rage Babies"... its soooo true!

[nannyde]

The parent has to figure out that lying about it isn't going to get a provider to keep him. She needs to be refused time and time again so that she GETS that she has to find someone who knows upfront that he is unstable and is willing and able to work with him OR they have to rearrange their lives and be the only ones with him.

It's really sad. He's only fifeen months old and he has such severe issues that he really can't be in public.

I am begining to wonder if there isn't a combination of poor infant/toddler care AND a link to the mother going into the pregnancy and during the pregnancy having really poor nutrition. It makes me wonder if there isn't a connection between what the baby gets during in utero and what condition the mother is in before she gets pregnant AND what is then done with the baby once he/she is born.

I don't know why it's so bad now. I think it's:

poor health of mom before pregnancy
poor eating and general health during pregnancy
no training before kids are born on how to care for kids. NO generational teaching.
high expectation that the kid is going to be wonderful and motherhood is going to be awesome
baby comes and as soon as they get home from the hospital they realize it's super hard.
they don't want it to be hard
the dream starts to crumble
they start using motion, pacifying, hold me... walk me.. rock me... to get the kid to be quiet
they use battery stuff to entertain and motion the baby
they are "distracted" parents because they have a point and click instant gratification life with little sense of HARD WORK.
they don't do the work to do the things that make a baby easy to care for because they don't want any crying
they start feeding the baby the white grains and fruit first and then end up with a kid who won't eat meats and veggies
they pass instant gratification onto the kid which results in poor eating and poor sleeping
the baby starts doing high stimulation stuff like battery toys and tv
by the time they are nearing one they start eating processed foods especially sugar grains.
So by a year or so they have a baby on a bad diet, bad sleep, no discipline and they deal with all of this minute to minute to have as much peace as possible so they can lead the life they had before the kid. That life was a life of entitlement, junk food, constant distraction with phone, internet, tv

Just random thinking but there HAS to be a perfect storm happening right now. We just have to figure out what that is and how we fit into this.

[Unregistered]

This may NOT be a rage baby as you call it or a parenting problem this is NOT always the case he could have some kind of special needs people should not always jump to conclusions.

[Mom_of_two]

Good for you!!! You did the right thing! Aside form the safety issue, it is SO important to like our jobs!! Of course we all get frustrated and stressed out- but a bad fit is not good for us OR the child. Important to control the things we can and all. Hang in there!!

[momma4many]

[QUOTE=MamaBear;116689] Just wasnt worth the effort to me because nothing worked and all my other kiddos were so stressed out in his presence. QUOTE]

Exactly! I felt like we were all held hostage by this little one. Not worth it!

[MommyMuffin]

Yes, good for you. If they dont fit in with your daycare then they need to go.

[momma4many]

Good for you!!! You did the right thing! Aside form the safety issue, it is SO important to like our jobs!! Of course we all get frustrated and stressed out- but a bad fit is not good for us OR the child. Important to control the things we can and all. Hang in there!!

So agree with the liking our jobs thing! I was ready to bag it all....the whole shebang, in just two days. Then, when all went home and I had a moment to think, I realized it is not worth giving up a job that I love for ONE family. Guess that was my moment of crazy for the week ::