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I have a new infant with an 18 month old brother. Mom is very tired and I understand that but the children are not kept clean. The infant is 8 weeks and has dirt under his fingernails. How is this possible? I have never smelled the scent of clean on either one. The infant had problems gaining because mom wasn't getting up to feed him at night, now we have a visiting nurse that comes to my house once a week to check his weight. Here is my question: " Do you think I'm stepping over boundaries if I give this infant a bath?" I don't want to offend mom but if this visiting nurse suspects any neglect she will send it to Child Protective services. I would like to at least bathe him on the day the visiting nurse comes. What do you think?:confused:
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I would
I dont know if it is right or wrong...but I would give the baby a bath. But, the deeper issue is...is there neglect going on? Maybe the nurse should see that if the children are not being cared for properly? -
I would probably do the same and give them a bath. I would also talk to the nurse and tell them how dirty they are coming to your home.Comment
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I guess I am looking at this in a different way. If you give a bath then I would be up front with the nurce & let her know that you have bathed the child cuz they come in dirty quite often. Does the parent know when the nurse comes or that the nurse does make visits? If so then she is taking the chance of them wanting to visit her house & maybe it is her way of saying she needs help at home. You want her to bath the child so the mother does not get in trouble but you have to think of the child & what is best for the child. Is it better that someone intervines now before it is too late (not saying that anything is really wrong) But you really do not know what else is going on at home.
I had a family that social workers visited on a regular bases & that is what the family needed. They were greatful that they had their help when they needed it.Comment
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You're not doing the mom and especially the children any favors by not letting the nurse see for herself the condition the kids are in, do not bathe them, that is not your job, not getting up and feeding a child regardless of if you are tired is neglect, not bathing a child is neglect, this mom needs to be treated like an adult and deal with the consequences of her lack of parenting so that she has the chance now to get the help she needs. By 'helping' her you'd actually be hurting her and the kids.Comment
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Have to tried talking to the mom at all? Maybe the mom thinks once a week is enough to keep young children clean. Maybe she thinks that babies don't do anything, so they don't get dirty, therefore, don't need to be bathed as often... I had one mom that had this mentality. She's very young, she and I talked a little about it, and she was relieved that I was willing to give her some advice. Now she has called me a few different times for advice on caring for her newborn.
I guess for now, I'd talk to the mother, yet document the situation. If mom is very negative explain the ramifications (for neglecting children) and explain it's your duty to be a voice for these children, trying to do so in a non-accusing and threatening way.Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back.Comment
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First I don't think it's over stepping your bounds.
Second CPS is serious and if you feel this is a possibility you are required by law to report it. If you do not report it but know it is happening you will receive the charges as well, not just that parent.
Personally, I would bathe him and report it.Comment
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I don't think you should bath the children, simply because they time and direct attention required to safely bathe these children leaves the other daycare children unattended. By the time she's been a mom of an 18 m old she should know how to keep them clean. They need to be reported, so that social services can become involved. The parent will be given the opportunity to take parenting classes and learn how to care for her children. i provide care for the children of a child protection worker- and the mom will not immediately lose custody unless they are in danger of imminent harm- but those children need and deserve some help, and as a mandated reporter you need to facilitate that. It's possible the nurse is at least marginally aware, hence her involvement, so discuss the cleanliness issue with her and see if there is any other investigation as of yet.Comment
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I don't think that you should bathe the child. The nurse is there to check on how the child is doing so you need to let her see exactly how that is.Comment
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Definitely advise the nurse of the situation & let her handle it. Have you ever questioned the mom or asked if you could help her with baths?Comment
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I agree with Carole's Daycare -- bathing a child means you can't keep as close an eye on the other kids, and that's not fair or safe for them. I would keep the baby's hands, face and diaper area clean, just like I do with the other kids, but I wouldn't go beyond that. And I would definitely report it.Comment
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I would just tell mom that the nurse made a comment,... make her the bad guy. the nurse noticed he had dirt under his nails,... and commented on it,.. maybe that will be enough of a jolt for Mom to try harder? I once had a child who smelled like smoke heavily,.. one day he smelled YUMMY just like bath soap,.. I commented to mom that I cuddled him all day that he smelled so yummy,... she mentioned that she had bathed him that morning because of a diaper leak and since that day she bathed him 4 out of 5 mornings..... instant yummy baby. She loved that I couldnt put him down,.... I of course always greeted him with ,.. hows my yummy baby doing today??? let me get some snuggles!Comment
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In my honest opinion no I don't think you should bathe the children. There is NO excuse whatsoever to not take 10 mins out of your day to give a child a bath. I don't care how tired you are. And as for her not getting up in the middle of the night to feed her baby, well excuse my language but she should have kept her legs closed then.Comment
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bathing baby???????
I would bath the baby but also let the nuse know you dit it. It is inthe best intereast of the child & the other children in the daycare.
As for not reporting.
A couple years ago a baby had diaper rash so bad that it got infected & died. The Grandmother worked at the dayv=care the baby went to. She always changed the diaper there. The grandmother went to prisson to for failure to report abuse.
So not reporting what you see or know is a punishable offense.
You can only report what you see not what you suspect. Like him being dirty and if clothes is dirty. Children always more hungry than other children. If any of them are the case. But you have a right to the children to report. You are protected from any liability by reporting.
I personally would take her aside and mention to her you have to do the mandate reporting because it is in the best intereast fo the child. But f she needs help or someone to talk to you are there. Maybe she has post pardom depression or maybe just overowrked.
It is about their best interest of the children not the parents.Comment
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Is the mom getting up now to feed the beby? That was what I understood; so unclean is the main issue? It's an important issue, but if the kids are cared for in every other way, I would not make a big deal about it. Mom might just be too overwhelmed to notice things like dirty fingernails right now. Plus some people were raised w/ a bath every night, some once a week, some in the middle-- I know what I prefer
, but that is a preference. I did have one baby who always had dirty ears that I cleaned, one time I was cleaning them when mom came--from then on she usually stayed on top of it. I think she just didn't know.
I have had some parents that were not "parented" when they were children who really do not know what they should do. I don't feel they should be "punished" if they are trying their best and keeping thier children safe. A gentle "I noticed baby's fingernails are dirty--do you have a baby nail clippers?" or something along those lines can help break the ice for them to ask questions about what is appropriate
Now, if there is serious neglect where the children are not supervised or taken care of, I would not even wait for the nurse, I would call myself.Comment
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