Update to 2 Year Old With Bottle

[littlemommy]

I talked to my food program lady, and she said that I cannot give him a bottle, that he must be drinking from a cup unless they have a doctor's note stating he must have a bottle. If he wants rice cereal, it must be in a bowl with a spoon.

She said at almost 2 years old he should be eating independently and using utensils. In the 2 months I've had him, he has not eaten a single bite of food. As soon as I say "Let's sit down to eat" he starts screaming.

They have told me that he doesn't eat well at home. Probably because they are only giving him rice cereal in a bottle! Every time I change his diapers, he is poopy. Another sign of not eating any solids? The food program lady said it almost sounds like border-line neglect, since the parents are not letting/encouraging him to advance in areas he should be.

The boy doesn't talk or try to communicate in any way, doesn't play with others, doesn't play with toys, doesn't eat, doesn't smile. All he does is cry, scream, stare at the ground, and stand around.

[countrymom]

kinda of good that you have the food lady standing behind you. That is very odd for a 2 yr old.

[daycare]

I went through the same thing with one of my DCK. bottle at 2 and would not drink while here. I also called the food program and they said same thing as well. NO BOTTLE.

I wonder if the parents feed the child at home. Are you ready for this. My niece is almost 4 and she sits in a high chair and gets spoon feed for every meal. If she wont stay in the high chair she runs around the house and her family chases her with the bowl of food to feed her.

This could be the case for this kid. i would start talking to the parents ASAP.
let them know that child needs to be able to drink from a cup and they need to get him off the bottle at home. Bottle drinking at this age causes major tooth decay aka bottle rot. If they dont get the child off of the bottle at home you wont be able to either. Tell them the child needs to also be able to feed himself, as this is group care and you need for him to function as a group.... ugh so sorry you have to deal with this.

[littlemommy]

I went through the same thing with one of my DCK. bottle at 2 and would not drink while here. I also called the food program and they said same thing as well. NO BOTTLE.

I wonder if the parents feed the child at home. Are you ready for this. My niece is almost 4 and she sits in a high chair and gets spoon feed for every meal. If she wont stay in the high chair she runs around the house and her family chases her with the bowl of food to feed her.

This could be the case for this kid. i would start talking to the parents ASAP.
let them know that child needs to be able to drink from a cup and they need to get him off the bottle at home. Bottle drinking at this age causes major tooth decay aka bottle rot. If they dont get the child off of the bottle at home you wont be able to either. Tell them the child needs to also be able to feed himself, as this is group care and you need for him to function as a group.... ugh so sorry you have to deal with this.

The parents realllly baby him. The other day, the mom texted me and said she was going to bring her 11 year old daughter. She never asked, and I didn't feel comfortable with it. I told her I wasn't planning on adding any more children this summer. She brought her that day anyways, and I felt like I was being watched all day.

When the boy got tired, she said he wanted his bottle. I said he needed to sit at the table. She tried to put him down (she had been holding him since he walked in the door, 5 hours earlier.) He started screaming, and she took him to the recliner with his bottle. She cradled him like a baby and HELD the bottle FOR him. He would not nap, so I put him in my bedroom in a pnp like I usually do. She was upset that he was crying, but I told her it's worse today because she had been holding him ALL day.

She will not be coming back. The food program ladies also told me to call a local hospital and see if it sounds like an eating disorder of any sort. I think it sounds more like a parental-forced eating disorder, if that makes sense. If they are not offering food at home, of course he won't eat it here. That would explain his constant diarrhea.

[sharlan]

Has he been evaluated for autism or Asperger's? It sounds like his issues go beyond his parents babying.

[MN Day Mom]

The boy doesn't talk or try to communicate in any way, doesn't play with others, doesn't play with toys, doesn't eat, doesn't smile. All he does is cry, scream, stare at the ground, and stand around.

As a parent of a child with autism, this would concern me.

The parents realllly baby him. The other day, the mom texted me and said she was going to bring her 11 year old daughter. She never asked, and I didn't feel comfortable with it. I told her I wasn't planning on adding any more children this summer. She brought her that day anyways, and I felt like I was being watched all day.

You should have of turned her away at the door. Never allow a parent to over ride your authority.

Has he been evaluated for autism or Asperger's? It sounds like his issues go beyond his parents babying.

I agree, there is something more going on here.

[daycare]

do you mind if I ask a question?
what is the childs race?

[sharlan]

It's a hard thing to approach the parents with, but this child needs some serious intervention, soon.

I have one with autistic tendencies and sticking your head in the sand does not help.

[littlemommy]

do you mind if I ask a question?
what is the childs race?

He is Caucasian

[littlemommy]

It's a hard thing to approach the parents with, but this child needs some serious intervention, soon.

I have one with autistic tendencies and sticking your head in the sand does not help.

I'm in a bind with this. I don't want to scare the parents away. His dad's mother had been watching him since birth, but she fell and hurt her hip so that's why they looked into daycare. His dad did NOT want him in daycare. He (kind of rudely) said in the beginning that his mother would be okay enough to watch him, but his gf (the boy's mother) wanted him to be in daycare for socialization. I don't want to step on the parent's toes and tell them he may have an underlying problem. According to them, he's fine at home. Or at least they act that way.

I have asked if he eats at home. Mom said he is not a good independent eater, but he does eat. His constant runny poop does not tell me that he's eating ANYTHING at home besides milk and rice cereal. I would think the rice cereal would bind it up a little more, but I guess not if he only gets liquids.

He has 2 half siblings that are 11 and 15, but they do not live with him. He is an only child. I wonder if his lack of participation in everything stems from his previous lack of socialization. If grandma was watching him, she may have been the one that pushed the bottle, because it was easier for her. Who knows.

I guess I'm just really hesitant to say anything to the parents. I know it may be in the best interest of the child, but if they act like everything is fine they wouldn't follow thru with anything anyways. I've seen this happen before, where DCP suggests therapy and parent gets upset and denies.

I am going to give them a revised copy of my contract (made a late payment charge, and stated I will not hold spots) and add a typed note referring to the food program not allowing bottles. I guess if they get that upset about it they can leave. I won't be too upset.

[daycare]

I think this is somewhat commom with families that have much older siblings. I am a prime example. I have two teenagers and a 3 year old. The first two from my first marriage and the 3yr old current.

Having older kids with younger kids is good and bad....

Good, you always have an exrtra helping hand/eye, baby sitter when needed, someone to show them the ropes

Bad- older kids talk for younger child instead of allowing child to speak, ending up with a speech delayed child (mine is)

they baby the younger one, treating them like an infant at times. they do everything for them, thinking that they still cant do it on their own.

They undermine the parents rules and allow the child to do things that the parents would not.

They give in and never say NO, unless the child is about to get hurt, but not always.

I have been trying to find ways to parent my teenagers to help me parent my 3 year old. It is very hard and my 3 year old is very baby like. I admit, I baby him too. He is my little miracle baby and I cannot have any more so I spoil him rotten.
My son still to this day will make noise like uh-uh-uh and point to an object AND my teenagers will get it for him....UGH let him talk...I think I say that at least a million times a day.

I don't think this sounds like a medical disorder, but I could be wrong.... It is hard to help resolve matters likes these, especially if the parents are in denial.

[Live and Learn]

I know it may be in the best interest of the child..........



I am going to give them a revised copy of my contract (made a late payment charge, and stated I will not hold spots) and add a typed note referring to the food program not allowing bottles. I guess if they get that upset about it they can leave. I won't be too upset.

You need to do what is in the best interest of this child!!!!!

Don't just hand them a type written note....

Use your words to her face and tell her no more bottles.

[littlemommy]

I think this is somewhat commom with families that have much older siblings. I am a prime example. I have two teenagers and a 3 year old. The first two from my first marriage and the 3yr old current.

Having older kids with younger kids is good and bad....

Good, you always have an exrtra helping hand/eye, baby sitter when needed, someone to show them the ropes

Bad- older kids talk for younger child instead of allowing child to speak, ending up with a speech delayed child (mine is)

they baby the younger one, treating them like an infant at times. they do everything for them, thinking that they still cant do it on their own.

They undermine the parents rules and allow the child to do things that the parents would not.

They give in and never say NO, unless the child is about to get hurt, but not always.

I have been trying to find ways to parent my teenagers to help me parent my 3 year old. It is very hard and my 3 year old is very baby like. I admit, I baby him too. He is my little miracle baby and I cannot have any more so I spoil him rotten.
My son still to this day will make noise like uh-uh-uh and point to an object AND my teenagers will get it for him....UGH let him talk...I think I say that at least a million times a day.

I don't think this sounds like a medical disorder, but I could be wrong.... It is hard to help resolve matters likes these, especially if the parents are in denial.

He barely ever sees his older half siblings, so I don't think they would be adding to his developmental delays. I think it's more of a parenting thing.

He has been here for a half an hour, and has sat and cried the entire time. If he stops, he looks at the window and cries. I give him toys, and he pushes them away. He would rather sit by the door and play with his shoes or the straps on his diaper bag.

[daycare]

how long has he been in your care and how many days? Is it full time consistent schedule?

[littlemommy]

how long has he been in your care and how many days? Is it full time consistent schedule?

Tuesday thru Friday, 10-4:30.