New Child - Worrier/Food Issues

[jojosmommy]

I have the same kid...instead of being new, she's been here all but about six months of her life and she's four. Controlling, dramatic, won't eat regular food, princess complex.

She used to gag at the table, cry when something was placed on her plate that she didn't like, cry when she couldn't fill up on juice when she didn't eat, demand more of whatever she did like without touching anything else on the plate. She ruined lots of meals.

True she does have a lot of food allergies and texture aversions...but she was never encouraged to eat the things she could eat that were good for her. ALL she eats at home is crap...chx nuggets, pizza, sugar-laden drinks, chips, with an occasional fruit thrown in. She really has grown out of most of her allergies - supposed to be allergic to milk, but eats ice cream and cheese, allergic to nuts but eats Reese's...she's conveniently "allergic" to whatever she doesn't like.

I got really sick of the power struggle at the table. She's not required to eat or even sit at the table, but she cannot talk to us from another room while we're eating or sit at the table and cry, gag, or pout. If she does, she leaves the table and doesn't come back. She gets everything everybody else gets, eats what she wants, and waits until everyone else is mostly finished to dump her plate. No negative comments about the food or she leaves. No juice is served - water or nothin'. She conformed easier than I expected because she hates to be apart from the group.

This whole thread interests me. I have one just like this and had one in the past whos issues were never dealt with b/c I never knew how to deal with them. HOW EXACTLY did you go about this last part? What did you tell her? These are the rules at the table and if you can't follow them you will be excused? Do you just keep ignoring the negative comments or do you remove them from the table as soon as they complain? Please share how you get them to the understanding that they need to sit and be there with the other kids but can not complain and cry/fuss/whine etc. I have tried saying different things to my complainer but it seems like she likes the attention, I have tried to ignore but seems like that doesnt work either.

[Hunni Bee]

This whole thread interests me. I have one just like this and had one in the past whos issues were never dealt with b/c I never knew how to deal with them. HOW EXACTLY did you go about this last part? What did you tell her? These are the rules at the table and if you can't follow them you will be excused? Do you just keep ignoring the negative comments or do you remove them from the table as soon as they complain? Please share how you get them to the understanding that they need to sit and be there with the other kids but can not complain and cry/fuss/whine etc. I have tried saying different things to my complainer but it seems like she likes the attention, I have tried to ignore but seems like that doesnt work either.

If you don't behave at my table, you leave or your plate goes into "time out" for a minute or so until you're ready to eat.

With her, when the gagging and the crying and complaining starting, she was excused from the table...no engaging. Her plate was cleared, her hands were cleaned and she was sent on her merry way. No matter how she cried to come back or try again with a new plate, that was it. I told her later that her friends are hungry and want to eat and talk to each other, not watch her nose run and her spit food back onto the plate. I asked her does she like to sit with her friends and she said yes. And I told her just like I'm not going to make her eat food she doesn't like, Im not going to make her friends have their lunch spoiled, so if she's crying and acting up, she can't be at the table with them. She's high-functioning and very social, so this was important to her and she conformed.