Rage Babies?

[Guest]

So what is this I've been reading about rage babies? These are the ones who are just angry little souls who cry and cry and will do so all day, and if they don't get what they want immediately, they will make you pay. And I'm talking about the ones who don't have a medical condition.

Are these kids a new phenomenon, or do you all with experience find that this is typical behavior for some infants? What do you think is wrong with them? Is it a parenting thing, or is it genetics, or a combination of things? More importantly, how do you weed them out during an interview process?!!!

I ask because I'm really trying to figure it out for the next clients I interview. The little girl I had to term had the sweetest smile and happiest personality--so long as she was getting what she wanted at the very moment she wanted it. I would never have figured her out during an interview. Do we just need to rely on the trial period?

What do you all do with rage babies, and how do you avoid them (if you do)?

[nannyde]

I coined the phrase "rage babies".

Saw here first on daycare.com

[nannyde]

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28750&highlight=rage

Yes I think we have an ever growing population of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers who need an adult with them who doesn't have to consider anything but the child, (including themselves.) If a child needs moment to moment happiness in order to not go into rage then there can't be anything or anybody that needs to be considered except for that child. You still can't avoid the rage completely because the child will put itself into danger and have to be told no but having nothing but immediate safety in between them and their happiness will net you the best behavior the child will willingly do.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27517&highlight=rage

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25293&highlight=rage

I think we have a lot of "rage" babies now. I think this is a result of the trend for "no cry" parenting and the use of motion equipment soothing and battery toys that are taking up their every minute of life.

These babies are so overloaded. It's not going to get better folks. We are going to see a lot more babies and toddlers with EXTREME anger, flickering minds, poor sleep/rest patterns, and poor diets.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28968&highlight=rage

There's NO understanding of that with young kids now and with current parenting we are getting more and more RAGE kids at younger and younger ages. The ONLY way that childhood RAGE is going to be addressed is if person after person REFUSES to put themselves on the block for dealing with the rage.

[dEHmom]

i agree with Nanny....

this who NO thing we talked about on another thread, and honestly, its mainly parenting. kids who get everything they want, parents who think tantrum throwing is cute, and all that jazz...

sometimes though, i believe it's not fair to blame the parents, because even the best parents can have high strung children.

biggest thing is from day 1, let them know their games won't work with you. i have a dcb who screams a fit when they get here in the mornings because he wants outside. that's fine and dandy, but he has a major temper tantrum while she is here, and screams and fusses and does whatever he wants and she picks him up and holds him, cuddles him, talks to him, and whatever else. the second she leaves, he's happy happy happy. hmmmm...... mom's only here for 5 mins tops, so i just let her handle it. but when i have to, i step in.

i confined him to a playpen on his 3rd day or so here because of the tantrums. he was endangering himself with his tantrums so i had no choice. every time he stopped crying i'd bring him out. couple tries back and forth and he figured it out. he has not had a tantrum since march for me. he has little fits now and then, but when i look at him with the "stink face" he stops.

[cheerfuldom]

its basically the modern spoiled kiddo. They are usually the best behaved at interviews because they have mom and dad and provider with all eyes on them. YES, you NEED a trial period with each child! Gives you an easy out because this type of child will be obvious on day one. They don't do anything for themselves, they are entertained all the time, they don't have any sense of self soothing, patience, contentment and the cry is an angry cry, not a babyish helpless cry. Everything you want to do with them or for them is met with a difficult attitude such as fighting on the changing table, refusing food and then crying for it later, wanting to go inside when they are out and outside when they are in. All that with extreme crying and discontentment.

[dEHmom]

oh same dcb i mentioned above....

i know this sounds really bad, but when he gets mad, like if he is doing something and he knows better, i will give him "stink eye" and he's make this horrible awful face at me, and the second i look away, he QUACKS at me. seriously it's like he's saying F you....I hate that noise!!!

[PeanutsGalore]

So are we talking infant age here? When the mom told me that her daughter was a screamer from the very beginning (she said she found out after about a week), is that true? And what can parents and providers do to help shape that child, if anything? I've been reading and researching, and from a temperament POV, the best answer I've found so far is that you have to attend to their basic needs, ignore the unwanted behavior and there's really nothing else you can do.

In the case of my screamer, I did see where a lot of the issues may have become enhanced from parenting style, but the kid really has a naturally difficult temperament.

[cheerfuldom]

Its infants on up with age. Eventually they trade the crying for whining/tantrums/destructive and wild behavior. Some kids are just plain ruined by their parents and others is, like you said, a challenging personality then combined with a certain parenting style. I think routine and preventative measures and age appropriate expectations work really well to curb a lot of this behavior.

[nannyde]

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30859

Classic rage baby

she cried all day

No matter what I did, she cried.

It was not only a cry but a scream/screech

complete with slapping me

scratching at my face.

I set her outside the baby gate and tried talking to her in a soothing voice. She was screeching and throwing herself down

She actually hit her head on the floor so hard I worried she would have a bump

I tried putting her in her high chair and she was throwing herself around screaming and almost got out, she was trying to jump down

she screamed and pounded/kicked the door so hard

She would not stop and I was afraid she would hurt herself.

She never went to sleep, just screeched

pulled her own hair so hard she broke her pony tail holder.

This is a THIRTEEN month old baby.