Weekends, No Naps and No Schedule (Vent and Advice)

[daycare]

So of courseI know that most families dont have scheuldes for the weekends and this is when they do all of thier family time.

Lately, several of my DCKs are coming to DC just trashed. Parents kept them out running a muck all weekend and sometimes week nights too. They didnt get naps, they went to be at 11PM and so on. I know we can't tell parents don't have a life, but at what point does it become too much?

Yesterday I had a child come to DC with a temp of 99.0. Temp went up and down all day yesterday but never past 99.9. At pick up DCD said well we were out all weekend and DCB did not get any rest over the weekend. NO naps for the past 4 days and we were going to bed past midnight!

The child slept from 9:15am to 4:30pm yesterday. It caused us to not be able to go to the park or play outside. I can't have a child sleeping in one place and then be outside unable to hear them. I don't have baby monitors and even if I did I would never leave a child alone in the house, even if we were just in the backyard.

This is just one family, I have others like this too and the kids come so trashed that they can't function. They either want to go to sleep right away and sleep most of the day or whine and throw fits a majority of the day.

I do have in my policy that if a child is unable to participate with the group they will be sent home, but how can I keep doing this if it's becoming an everyday thing. Again it's not just one of my DCKs, it's several.

I thought about putting in the monthly newslewtter a note about this, but not sure how to or if I should. I don't think it is fair that the kids who come ready for DC are being punished becuase of these other children. I do teach here and lately I am being pulled away from it to constantly correct behavior of overly tired children or check on sleeping kids. I am pulling my hair out!

[Blackcat31]

So not trying to laugh but rest assured, you aren't the only one who struggles with this. I have all my kiddos on track and 100% by Friday and every Monday we are back to square one. My DH says "Well, you let them go home." ::

Parents try to pack as much as possible into a weekend and routines aren't one of those things. I just make a point of being really firm on Mondays so the kiddos know that the rules don't change here. Kids can adapt pretty quickly so it never seems to be that much of a problem but I do hear ya....

As for those kids you have who are not up to par to participate in normal activities, send them home. My contract says they must be able to participate in regularly scheduled activities. It doesn't matter if they are too tired.....stay home and sleep then. NOT my problem. I let the kids nap/rest/sleep for 2 hours max. I wake them after that and go about our day.

Had a naughty one on Monday this week. Refused to participate in anything nicely so when it was time to take a walk, I called his mom and said that her son was not behaving and could not come on the walk with. He was having a temper tantrum (like 5th of the day...all due to over tiredness from such a busy weekend) so mom came and got him. She did it to him and I will not let the other kids suffer due to one child's bad behavior....or in this case, the parents.

My parents are all told during the interview that this can//will happen if their child does not come well rested and ready for the day.

[Mom_of_two]

Sorry you are going through this!

I agree about not changing your schedule. I have scheduled nap times and (unless young infant under 4-5 mo) they awake and go about the rest of our day at scheduled wake time. If unable I would send home as well. They shouldn't dictate your schedule!

[daycare]

I get what both of you guys are saying. But the issue is that it's becoming an everyday thing. It's wednesday and I have two that have been asleep since 9:20 am and it's now noon here. Yesterday 2 as well, monday it was 4 of them. I do expect this to happen on mondays. but when it happening all of the time, I dont feel that I can constantly send them home. But then again like one of you pointed out, if I sent them home and let the parents deal with it then maybe they will think twice about leaving their child up until 11pm or midnight when they haev to be at DC the next day at 7am. UGH!

[Meyou]

I'd give them a shortish morning nap (1-2 hours) so they are up by 10am and then take them outside. If someone doesn't want to play I'm happy to get them a lawn chair to snuggle up in while everyone else plays.

PM nap I wouldn't let them sleep longer than the normal nap time either.

You can't have kids sleeping all day. I know they're tired but it's contributing to the problem and creating a vicious cycle of terrible sleeping patterns.

Mondays ****...I plan to have a rough day every Monday and focus on being very firm to get the kids out of weekend brain. I stick close to home and play in the yard so it's easy to manage the crew,

[momma2girls]

I once had a 4 yr. old girl, that came super ornery on Mondays. She would whine, cry, rub her eyes, not want to participate with us on things, etc. til I finally asked her Mom about this. Her Mom said to me" we definately do not give her any naps on the weekends here at all."
I told her how she acts, and it explains it now, why she acts the way she does.
I finally was so tired of it, and told her if she whines, cries, etc. she will receive one warning, if she continued, she would go lay down and take a nap with my babies in the morning.
It took about 3 times of this, and she was pretty good about it, from then on. She fell asleep instantly, but I would have to wake her up, because I wanted her to sleep that afternoon as well. She always took both naps, if I woke her up in about 1- 1/2 hrs. in the am.

[daycare]

I guess If I were to do this then I would not be really teaching class at all. It would only be for my son and the only other child that comes part time.
HOnestly, I don't mind getting paid to do nothing...I mean who wouldn't right? But I know for a fact the parents would freak out and complain why I am not setting up teaching plans and lessons for the week.

I need for the parents to understand that i cant prepare their kids for kinder if they are not going to be getting them the rest that they need so that they can learn while here......UGH

[Blackcat31]

Wait.....You are complaining because your daycare kids nap too much?!?!?:::: Now THAT is funny! No, seriously I do understand what you mean but why not let the ones who are up and alert and ready learn while the other ones sleep? And then when the parents of the ones who sleep or are so tired complain because their kid isn't getting "class time" just tell them that if they were awake more often then they could particiapte. You are a child care provider not a a full service parent!

I think you need to focus on one need (either the basic care or the teaching) and go with it whole heartedly. Trying to do both with no parental support will earn you nothing but a headache!!

[daycare]

Wait.....You are complaining because your daycare kids nap too much?!?!?:::: Now THAT is funny! No, seriously I do understand what you mean but why not let the ones who are up and alert and ready learn while the other ones sleep? And then when the parents of the ones who sleep or are so tired complain because their kid isn't getting "class time" just tell them that if they were awake more often then they could particiapte. You are a child care provider not a a full service parent!

I think you need to focus on one need (either the basic care or the teaching) and go with it whole heartedly. Trying to do both with no parental support will earn you nothing but a headache!!

LOL yes I am bothered by the non stop whining and tantrum throwing becuase they are so tired that they cant keep up with the group. I have a busy schedule that I usually have planned, but lately, I have not planned much do to the tired kids.


today we were supposed to go on a field trip to the grocery store to buy our stuff to make pizza. After making the pizza, we were then supposed to walk the pizza over to the fire house one street over to feed the fire guys at the fire station. NONE of that happened because I have kids sleeping.

SO the ones that were not sleeping threw fits that we couldn't go. Heck we can't even go outside for free play while the kids are sleeping and it leaves us hostage to this house. I know that the parents of the kids who were able to participate are going to be angry, as they are all aware of our weekly schedule a week in advance.

How do I go from teaching to saying, I am not going to teach anymore? I know I would lose most of my kids, if not all if I didnt teach......


you are right I do have a headache.

[Blackcat31]

LOL yes I am bothered by the non stop whining and tantrum throwing becuase they are so tired that they cant keep up with the group. I have a busy schedule that I usually have planned, but lately, I have not planned much do to the tired kids.


today we were supposed to go on a field trip to the grocery store to buy our stuff to make pizza. After making the pizza, we were then supposed to walk the pizza over to the fire house one street over to feed the fire guys at the fire station. NONE of that happened because I have kids sleeping.

SO the ones that were not sleeping threw fits that we couldn't go. Heck we can't even go outside for free play while the kids are sleeping and it leaves us hostage to this house. I know that the parents of the kids who were able to participate are going to be angry, as they are all aware of our weekly schedule a week in advance.

How do I go from teaching to saying, I am not going to teach anymore? I know I would lose most of my kids, if not all if I didnt teach......


you are right I do have a headache.

When I first opened, I had the rigid structured teaching schedule. Did not last long though because it is hard to fit a mixed age group into one schedule. Especially a schedule designed for kids old enough to pay attention (preschoolers). When I decided to stop the structured teaching, I simply told the parents that I was changing the method in which I will teach the kids. I wasn't going to stop teaching them....just not follow a pretty little schedule anymore.

I told the parents that our whole day will be a learning experience and we will learn as we play. I started doing a lot of research into child-led play/activities and started allowing the children's mood and attitudes dictate the activity or lesson/theme we were going to follow. All of my kids still get that preparation for Kindy, but I let it occur naturally and don't stress anymore about what time it is.

Lunch and nap are about the only things scheduled here anymore. Kids will tell you what and when they need to know things. The rest is up to the parent. You simply need to provide the supportive atmosphere and the rest will happen. For those kiddos who don't get much sleep, it will serve them (and you) no purpose to try and teach a tired sleepy kid who cannot even absorb the lesson when he is only wanting to sleep.

There is a hierarchy of needs that have to be met first BEFORE anything else can happen. Sleep is one of those needs.

[daycare]

maslows? I am very aware of the needs, and I have no plans to change my program, I guess this is why I am venting. I have invested myself in this to teach. I love what I do and I have spent the last several years going back to school to teach as well as spent several $1000.00's of dollars to set up a proper classroom for the students. I only have ages 3to5, with one 2 year old.

Vent vent vent....

I know what you are saying and I do try to not always follow a tight schedule. I guess I am just upset and venting becuase I am being forced to change. I charge a pretty penny for my program and right now I am being paid to be a sleep sitter...ok with me, but I don't want to be a sleep sitter.

I love teaching and braggin that my pre kinders start school reading and knowing how to write basis sight words. and so on...

LIke i said, it's been a recent thing, has not been an issue in the past, well maybe with one child. I'm just over it.....ugh.

[Meyou]

If the teaching program is that important to you then DCK sleeping all day is not a good fit for your program unless Mom and Dad start putting them to bed. You need to tell Mom and Dad that they can't expect you to cater to one child when there is a group and a program to follow.

They can't send their kid to school so tired they sleep all day so it's not like it's an unreasonable request to put them to bed.

That being said...I had a single mom term with me last Sept because I insisted her son be picked up by 6:30 pm once he started school so he got to bed on time. I was doing extended hours for her up to 10pm before that. My dd's bedtime routine started at 7pm with a 7:30 bedtime so I needed him gone home before that started plus I KNEW he needed the sleep. He wouldn't settle here so she could pick him up asleep because he had never gone to sleep without a tv and I had nowhere to put him with a tv on all night. He was exhausted ALL THE TIME. She would tell me about 2 am Walmart trips with him because she was bored. When I changed the pickup time she termed and got family to watch him.

She just emailed me a few weeks ago asking if he could come back for the summer with the 10 pm pickup time again. Uhhh...no...you termed because I thought your son needed a decent bedtime. Plus, the extended pickup was a HUGE favor from a former young single mom to another. I'd been there and wanted to give her a break. Learned my lesson.

[daycare]

I have two kids off to kinder this year. I know that they are more than ready to go. Both of them are my worst offenders of the no sleep at home.

I told parents that 2 months before school starts that they will no longer get naps here and will be attending my program as if they were setteling into kinder. They will have two weeks off after their preschool graduation, but will still no be able to take a nap. Here kinder is all day and they DO not take naps.
I told the parents that they need to start to get a hang of it now or thier child is going to suffer... I don't know why I care so much... maybe becuase its a reflection of my program? IDK.

I think what I will do is just lightly remind parents that we are a very busy group and that the children need to be well rested before class each day so that they can fully function as a group....something along these lines...

[sharlan]

Mondays have always been my least favorite day of the week. Friday is my most favorite. The kids seem to gel by then, going with the flow and getting along.

The boys were so hard on Mondays with the fighting and whining that we started going to Disneyland every Monday. I'd pack a lunch and off we'd go.

[daycare]

disneyland...don't know how you do it... I moved from newport beach to SF two years ago. We used to do Disney ever week when my olders were little.... I don't know how you do it....it's so exhausting...
Mondays I don't plan too much because the kids are so crazy from the weekend...