Question

[sharlan]

Please, this is not a slam or putting anyone down..............I realize we are all different and handle our lives and daycares differently.

Why do you expect your husband/boyfriend/assistant to handle the touchy situations for you?

You (no one in particular) operate a legitimate business out of your home. You are the head honcho and as such, make the rules for your business. Others may assist you, but you are the one in command.

Would your husband/boyfriend expect you to come to his place of employment and discuss issues with his boss/client/co-workers? No, he would not. You would expect him to handle these issues himself.

Ladies, you are the ones in control and you need to let your parents know that. In 27 years, I've never allowed my husband to deal with any child related issues that I had.

[heyhun77]

The only time I've involved my dh in anything more than subbing for me in caring for the children is when I was too sick to make the calls that I would need to close for a sick day and then once to be present while I dealt with a parent situation. I didn't want him there for anything more than another person in the room while I spoke with the parent.

I agree that this is our business and as such it is on us to handle the operations of the business. It may not be fun but it's all part of being a business owner.

[PitterPatter]

Personally I am alone here in my daycare. I am a single Mom. I do have assistance from a family member once in a while that I may ask for advise but she has never intervened.

I just wanted to give my opinion here. I agree with what u are saying for the most part but I have read instances here where another intimidating male parent or figure has caused issues. In that instance I may have a hubby (if I still had 1) step up to reinforce me and my decisions. Some men don't take a woman seriously or respect her no matter what the issue or profession. So sometimes we do need a little back up.

Just my 2 cents.

[kimmi]

It sounds like you are referring to my last post. My husband has been laid off for the past year and has helped me significantly with my daycare. The shoes on carpet issue is hugely him on this one. He spent all weekend redoing all of our floors. I put the signs up and I dont think there is anything wrong with him talking to my parents with me about issues that go on in daycare, especially if they are not respecting me. I am a super nice person (too nice alot of times) and its us that always get walked over.

[daycare]

It sounds like you are referring to my last post. My husband has been laid off for the past year and has helped me significantly with my daycare. The shoes on carpet issue is hugely him on this one. He spent all weekend redoing all of our floors. I put the signs up and I dont think there is anything wrong with him talking to my parents with me about issues that go on in daycare, especially if they are not respecting me. I am a super nice person (too nice alot of times) and its us that always get walked over.

ditto on this... If myhusband is here and he sees that someone is not respecting our house or the rules of the DC, he will say something to the person.

I once had a parent walk up to my front door with a cig in his hand. My husband opened the door and saw it so he reminded the parent that there is no smoking allowed on the DC property. I can't always see everything and always be the one to remind parents of things that go wrong, so I do allow for my husband to say things when he sees them.

However, he does not do my dirty work for me. If I need to talk to a parent, that is my job.

[MN Day Mom]

It sounds like you are referring to my last post. My husband has been laid off for the past year and has helped me significantly with my daycare. The shoes on carpet issue is hugely him on this one. He spent all weekend redoing all of our floors. I put the signs up and I dont think there is anything wrong with him talking to my parents with me about issues that go on in daycare, especially if they are not respecting me. I am a super nice person (too nice alot of times) and its us that always get walked over.

another ditto.

And the thing is, its not just a daycare issue, yes it was a daycare parent... however, it is your 'home' she is disrespecting also... not just your home, but also your husbands home. If a parent or anyone else was disrespecting my home I am sure my husband wouldn't refrain from speaking up just because it was my daycare... he would speak up because it is the home he has also worked hard to create.

[sharlan]

It sounds like you are referring to my last post. My husband has been laid off for the past year and has helped me significantly with my daycare. The shoes on carpet issue is hugely him on this one. He spent all weekend redoing all of our floors. I put the signs up and I dont think there is anything wrong with him talking to my parents with me about issues that go on in daycare, especially if they are not respecting me. I am a super nice person (too nice alot of times) and its us that always get walked over.

No, I was not directing this at you, or anyone else in particular. I apologize if you felt that I was singling you out. I've noticed lately, and I've seen it with friends who are in daycare, that they want to provide daycare, but don't want to handle the sticky issues themselves.

As far as a parent walking up to the door with a cigarette, I would expect whoever saw it, to mention that this is illegal in a daycare setting.

I've always expected my husband to lend a hand when needed, but I don't want him to deal with any issues. I feel that it would undermine my authority with the parents and kids.

[Mom_of_two]

My husband filled out the paperwork to be my approved substitute, so when I need to be absent he comes home from his job and is here (dr appointments, etc.)

If I am here and he *happens* to be home (home from work early, etc.) he usually does his own thing but sometimes will play with our (1 and 3) little girls, and the DCK's because they love him and he likes them all, too.

I would not ever ask him to address anything to do with the 'business' aspect, as that is my job. That said, if there is an issue pertaining to house rules or disrespect of us/home/pet while he is here it is his business, as this is his home, too. With home daycare that's what you get, imo.

Honestly out of all of my DC provider friends I can't imagine any of them delegating 'business' type responsibilities to their husbands, either.

[safechner]

I do not choose my husband handle it for me but sometimes he stand up for me. He is very protective of me that I don't deserve treat that way. I had a dcg's father yelled at me a few times and he walked to him to speak up to him. The father will never do that again to me because he is scared of my husband.

I have told my husband that I can handle myself and he said it doesn't matter since parents shouldn't treat me that way and it is his home too. They need to respect our home and my business. I have to say I agree with him. It is only happened about 3 times in almost 10 years.

[Kaddidle Care]

If I left it up to my husband he would just say Term them already. ::

[MamaBear]

Husbands

Hubbys can be great bodyguards when needed It's awesome to have a protective husband who will stick up for you when the time is right. I call my hubby "my pitpull" because hes always ready to protect. He would never get involved in my daycare stuff though unless I really needed him to get involved. Like if I ever had a crazy husband coming at me or something horrid like that. Its nice to know hes got my back whenever I need him.

[daycare]

If I left it up to my husband he would just say Term them already. ::

... my husband loves that I found this site because now he does not have to hear my daycare issues.... he would also in the past tell me...just get rid of them, they are giving me a headace...

[Stacy214]

Yea, I don't allow my husband to say anything however, if I felt like I was being disrespected then I may ask him to step in and back me up so to speak. It's also his house and these visitor's should respect that part

[JenNJ]

My husband also owns his own business. I wouldn't ever dream of stepping into his business and he wouldn't dream of doing it to mine.

I can understand those who feel better with a husband/boyfriend around if a male client is intimidating you, that is just being smart and safe. In my opinion, shoes off in the house falls under the daycare umbrella since it was a daycare client who was the offender. I would speak to my client about it. To me, if someone other than the business owner talks to the client, it can seem as if the business owner has no respect for their own business/rules and is someone who can be easily taken advantage of. It just not the image I choose to project. I want my clients to respect ME and MY rules. I don't want my husband to ever come into the equation.

[MyAngels]

I actually had a dc mom once who for quite a while didn't even realize I was married (I don't wear my bulky wedding ring very much during the day).

I've never even considered asking my husband to step in for any reason with my daycare.

If I ever felt somehow intimidated by someone, I wouldn't have to ask him to do anything, it would just be done ::.