Upset :(

[dEHmom]

well, in March I had a family enroll, for a start date of June 1st. I've had the little guy a few times, I've posted about him, he is the non eater of breads and twice the size of a 1 yo, etc.

anyways, just found out this morning, mom's not going back to work because he needs surgery, and with all the medical appointments etc she is just not able to go back just yet, because she won't get the time off work that she needs for him.

i was counting on the income to help pay off some debts, and so it sort of ****s. I didn't get excited before because I figured there is always that chance they change their mind and what not, but I mean, he started coming part time to get used to daycare before mom started back full time. A week before starting and I find out they are not coming. UGH! It's not a loss of income or anything, it's just a matter of I went through and made a budget on friday! FRIDAY! I spent half a morning working out a good budget to and polishing it up. So that I can pay down as much debts, and hopefully be comfortable enough with all the bills that I could miss a month in december to use all the money for xmas, and not be behind at all.

and I'm not refunding the deposit because it was made clear it was non refundable, I've also spent some money on items as well, not that they won't get used, i just mean i was expecting another baby, so i got some more baby items (chairs, etc) so they could eat at the same time, etc.

[jojosmommy]

I have had that happen too! You just get excited about making a little more with goals in mind to pay this or this or save for this and then its all pulled out from underneath you. Good luck. Keep your budget and post an ad for another little one and soon you'll have someone else to help fund your debt plan.

[dEHmom]

i feel bad saying it was to pay off debts! . but i just figured, with daycare you never know how long a family will stay with you. so I figured i'd tackle as much as i could with the extra income, and then at least if they pulled out 3 months down the line, that would be some debt i wouldn't have to worry about. kwim?

i was just hoping to be in a better position come xmas time, so that we don't have to turn to credit cards to purchase food, gas, gifts, or whatever else.

i keep my ad up all the time. I fixed it to say there is a full time spot available now, but there is no one looking right now. most are looking for summer care for school agers and i can't do that. i'd be over limit.

[countrymom]

don't feel bad about paying off debt, we all do. I wouldn't return the deposit either, she must have known for a while that he wasn't going to be coming, they always do and we are the last to find out.

[dEHmom]

i don't think she knew. it was last week they thought he was struggling with allergies, but doctor said no he needs surgery, etc. so up until about thursday they had no idea it was allergies.

and they thought it over over the weekend on the best plan.

i totally understand, you have to do what you have to do. she was upset on the phone too, i could tell. because she really did want to bring him here, and was excited to go back to work too.

[wdmmom]

It happens...and yes, it ****s!

Keep that deposit and start advertising. It's about all you can do.

Tell her to keep you in mind if she does decide to return back to work and go from there.

I hope that deposit was at least a couple weeks worth! 3 days notice...that's just wrong!

[DaisyMamma]

Think about it from mom's side. The poor little guy needs surgery! She's lucky to have the option to stay home. It does really **** and I've been there (with the same family TWICE) but there is no better way to lose a kid - so he's home with his mommy, right?

[dEHmom]

well it was a weeks notice actually. i'm not going to bother asking for the full months notice. i know she is not screwing me. if I had another family waiting for the spot, or turned away from the spot i would definitely be charging for it.

deposit was 2 weeks, normally i require 4 weeks notice.

i'm just going to let it go. maybe in a week or 2 doctors will decide not to do surgery and she will change her mind. never know. he's just got a bunch of appointments coming up for consults, specialists etc.

as a mom, i understand things can come up and it's not always something you can control. the poor guy has had troubles since birth from what i understand, and honestly, i'm glad i don't have to deal with the fussiness that comes along with his medical problems. hopefully everything works out well for him, and maybe for me too.

like i said it's not like i am losing income i already had. which would be a lot harder to deal with. it's just losing income i was hoping on. i always know at any time families can pull out. even though i require 4 weeks notice, it does not mean i will get it. and a month is not a long enough time to always fill a spot. at least not where i live. it could be a year till i fill it. who knows!

[DaisyMamma]

Ah, sounds like he needs his abnoids out. It wont be a long recovery. And if you are nice about it then you will still get him when the time does come around again.

[daycare]

bummer.... sorry to hear that you went through all of that. I would be bummed too. I am also one to budget all of my money months in advance. A few years back I learned to start a misc. emergency fund just in case these types of things happened. I dont put much money into the misc emergency fund as I am more into putting it into investments or savings, but I do have that little cushion just in case...

I hope that you are able to find someone to take that spot soon..

some times things happen for a reason so look at it this way....

[dEHmom]

bummer.... sorry to hear that you went through all of that. I would be bummed too. I am also one to budget all of my money months in advance. A few years back I learned to start a misc. emergency fund just in case these types of things happened. I dont put much money into the misc emergency fund as I am more into putting it into investments or savings, but I do have that little cushion just in case...

I hope that you are able to find someone to take that spot soon..

some times things happen for a reason so look at it this way....

very true. we had a very very tiny savings going, but unfortunately, right now we are in a very tight spot and have been for a while. therefore we have accumulated a lot of debt, and even when we put into savings, or emergency fund basically, we have to turn to it sometimes. it's better than using the credit cards, and even those we turn too. dh works far away, and gas is rising. actually cost of living is rising. so i find that it's hard to feed a family and dc kids on such a small budget. about 25% of our debt is our fault, the rest is all because we needed food and gas so dh can bring home a paycheque. truth is, he is stuck at a job because if he went anywhere else, we'd lose a good 50% of our income, and we'd basically be homeless!

ugh, i know things happen for reasons, and just yesterday my van started acting funny, and i know that means about 1000 + to fix. everytime we get a head a bit, something kicks us down again. and i remember thinking yesterday, great! a little extra income, and we're going to have to dish it out on a repair. hopefully now that the income isn't coming anymore, the van will fix itself .

fingers crossed everything works out.

[daycare]

very true. we had a very very tiny savings going, but unfortunately, right now we are in a very tight spot and have been for a while. therefore we have accumulated a lot of debt, and even when we put into savings, or emergency fund basically, we have to turn to it sometimes. it's better than using the credit cards, and even those we turn too. dh works far away, and gas is rising. actually cost of living is rising. so i find that it's hard to feed a family and dc kids on such a small budget. about 25% of our debt is our fault, the rest is all because we needed food and gas so dh can bring home a paycheque. truth is, he is stuck at a job because if he went anywhere else, we'd lose a good 50% of our income, and we'd basically be homeless!

ugh, i know things happen for reasons, and just yesterday my van started acting funny, and i know that means about 1000 + to fix. everytime we get a head a bit, something kicks us down again. and i remember thinking yesterday, great! a little extra income, and we're going to have to dish it out on a repair. hopefully now that the income isn't coming anymore, the van will fix itself .

fingers crossed everything works out.

just know this. you are never given more than you cant handle....I know it seems like we tread water only to sink, but you will swim and you will be ok. Ill keep my fingers crossed for you....

Even if you can put $5.00 away each week, and not touch it for a bit, it does add up and it will help when you need it... Sometimes we dont even realize the things we spend money on that we really dont need. I do it a lot...

Like on my drive home from the gym in the morning before DC i hgave to drive by starbucks....its soooo hard not to drive thorugh there and grab a cup of joe....especially when I could just do it at home....

[dEHmom]

just know this. you are never given more than you cant handle....I know it seems like we tread water only to sink, but you will swim and you will be ok. Ill keep my fingers crossed for you....

Even if you can put $5.00 away each week, and not touch it for a bit, it does add up and it will help when you need it... Sometimes we dont even realize the things we spend money on that we really dont need. I do it a lot...

Like on my drive home from the gym in the morning before DC i hgave to drive by starbucks....its soooo hard not to drive thorugh there and grab a cup of joe....especially when I could just do it at home....

oh yeah! I know that!!! dh is no longer allowed his regular 2 stops for timmies on the way to work. and we don't drink slurpees everynight anymore slurpees are about a dollar each, we each got one. i realized 1 slurpee every month was 30! yes, i REALIZED IT, because i hadn't really thought about it before, and then i was like , 2 slurpees a day is 60!!!! so we cut that out, although, i'm worried we won't hold slurpee capital of the world now without our nightly contributions!

anywho, i feel a lot better today, and thank you ladies for helping me feel better. I am however just paranoid, and thinking is getting to me. so i stopped thinking and now i'm not going to bother. I have a great family right now, and this incident has made me realize how my income can be ripped right out from under me. so I am going to enjoy the family i have right now.

[Zoe]

very true. we had a very very tiny savings going, but unfortunately, right now we are in a very tight spot and have been for a while. therefore we have accumulated a lot of debt, and even when we put into savings, or emergency fund basically, we have to turn to it sometimes. it's better than using the credit cards, and even those we turn too. dh works far away, and gas is rising. actually cost of living is rising. so i find that it's hard to feed a family and dc kids on such a small budget. about 25% of our debt is our fault, the rest is all because we needed food and gas so dh can bring home a paycheque. truth is, he is stuck at a job because if he went anywhere else, we'd lose a good 50% of our income, and we'd basically be homeless!

ugh, i know things happen for reasons, and just yesterday my van started acting funny, and i know that means about 1000 + to fix. everytime we get a head a bit, something kicks us down again. and i remember thinking yesterday, great! a little extra income, and we're going to have to dish it out on a repair. hopefully now that the income isn't coming anymore, the van will fix itself .

fingers crossed everything works out.

Wow. It's like I wrote this! We're going through the EXACT same thing right now. We got hit bad with the economy a few years back and we're still trying to get out of the debt that accumulated from his job as a trucker. He now does delivery an hour away from our home and gas is so expensive. The debt that has accumulated has all been from emergencies and living expenses. Every time I think we're going to finally get something that will pay more than the bills, we get knocked down (tire blows out, dog emergency vet, ear infections!) Grrrr....

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this awful predicament!

[dEHmom]

doesn't it always seem that way though?

1 step forward, 2 steps back?

i texted dcm that i currently have right now, because she seemed a little off this morning. i have been a little bit paranoid since yesterday (because they best friends, the one who cancelled and the one i have now), and just asked her if she is happy with the care. she of course is more than happy, and she would never think twice about letting me know otherwise. but being best friends, i figured down the line (assuming i had the new dcb) if one pulled they both would.

it's a small place where i live, so please no comments about friends of friends, friends of providers etc etc. its bound to happen where i live. and i'd honestly rather take on someone i have a reference for rather than some stranger i don't know.

i feel a lot better today, the knot in my stomach since i talked to current dcm has gone away.

oh, and the van didn't slip at all yesterday, so maybe it's fixed itself! or decided not to go.