Some parents have NO BRAIN!!!!

[Unregistered]

I'm registered, but I logged out to post this. I have one family that doesn't pay for the days they aren't here, so they aren't here everyday. It is the agreement that the parents will call/text me the night before to let me know they are coming. DCD works construction, and alot of times if it's raining he won't work. It's been raining like crazy here lately, so he's been really good about letting me know as soon as he finds out if he's working. DCM says if you don't hear from us, don't get up. (They get here around 5:15-5:30am if they are coming) So, last night, he said nothing about working today, no texts, nothing. So I didn't set an alarm and I took a sleeping pill bc I haven't been getting much sleep due to allergies and the other kids weren't scheduled to be here until 9:30. Low and behold, bright and early, My dogs start barking. He's downstairs banging on the door. I look at my phone, still no calls and just one text that says mornin'. So I go downstairs and get the kids and remind him that he is supposed to let me know if he's coming. Then I look at the kids.. It is supposed to be 92 here today and they are both in pjs. LONG SLEEVED WINTER PJS. The older one is in a pair of footie pjs. Seriously?! How am I supposed to take them outside today with no shoes and winter pjs when it's 92 degrees?! We've been going on a daily walk and DCD knows this, bc last week he didn't bring shoes a couple days and I reminded him that they have to have shoes or we can't go outside. UGHHH. It just angers me the way these people take care of their kids. And I don't have extra clothes to change them into, since I just sent all my daughter's outgrown clothes to them.
Yesterday, I took a nail brush and cleaned out the caked junk and dirt under both of their fingernails bc it was so disgusting. The last time they came here and it was evident they had taken a bath the night before was last Wednesday, almost a week ago. Even though it's been warm out and we've been playing outside everyday. And believe me, they definitely don't smell very good.
It's just lazy parenting! Yesterday the younger one came dressed in jeans and a long sleeve shirt (it was 90 degrees) and when I changed her shortly after getting here, I noticed that the pull up she was wearing was SOAKED. I changed her about an hour and a half after she got here- no way she peed that much in that short of time, especially because I changed her before breakfast, so she hadn't even had anything to drink yet. If you're going to go through the trouble of dressing her in the morning, then take the few extra steps and CHANGE HER. I will be so glad when I am done watching them. I can't stand their laziness when it comes to taking care of their kids.

[Cat Herder]

First, you are not going to like this. Second, I have a few questions.

1. Why do you allow them to come improperly dressed?

2. Why do you allow them to pay as they go when they are still holding a paying spot?

3. Why do you allow them to make up their own schedule without notice and show up unannounced?

Once you answer these questions for yourself you may see the problem. This pattern will continue for as long as you ALLOW it.

Good luck, hun. BTDT, stand up for yourself.

[Blackcat31]

I agree that this kind of behavior is and can be very frustrating but IMHO, catherder hit the nail on the head.....things are only a problem when YOU ALLOW them to be.

I would have told the dcd that under no circumstances are the children going to be accepted into care without:

1. proper clothing(including footwear)/fresh diaper
2. prior notice, and
3. being routinely bathed

Good luck! Seems it may be time for a good old "conference" or discussion with the parent(s).

[laundrymom]

I think I would have texted back, sorry not home. Be back around 915. U didn't text last night so I made plans.

[Sunshine44]

Some parents just don't think. They think its no big deal and they don't think about what the day will be like for us and their kids. Oh and some people just ****.

[momma2girls]

First, you are not going to like this. Second, I have a few questions.

1. Why do you allow them to come improperly dressed?

2. Why do you allow them to pay as they go when they are still holding a paying spot?

3. Why do you allow them to make up their own schedule without notice and show up unannounced?

Once you answer these questions for yourself you may see the problem. This pattern will continue for as long as you ALLOW it.

Good luck, hun. BTDT, stand up for yourself.

I agree!! I would never put up with this!! You need to be firm with them, and say you just can't continue it this way any longer!!

[Unregistered]

DCD and I are definitely going to have a talk about all of this tonight.

[wdmmom]

No way would I have answered the door.

And if I were you, I would have turned them away at the door telling them that they did not tell you today was a work day. If they are going to be "drop in", you have to treat them as such. No notice, no daycare. I also don't let DCK's come in PJ's. They must be dressed with shoes and ready for any planned or unplanned activity. Parents know we go on walks daily and anyone not dressed appropriately dressed can't participate ruining it for the entire group.

If I've learned anything it's this: Any child that comes in pj's has a soggy diaper on. Would mom or dad really change the kids diaper if they didn't change his/her clothes. NOPE!

[Sugar Magnolia]

I agree with catherder. You ALLOW it to happen, so you own it. 530am is ridiculous anyways. But this is my concern: this sounds a LOT like neglect. Its not "lazy", its neglect. Dirty, no bath for a week=neglect. Wearing pjs, no proper clothes or shoes=neglect. I would report them. Immediatley. They probably bring their kids to you because they think you won't report them for NEGLECT! Its not an economics issue, low-income families bathe their children and put clothes on them in public. If you don't report and something terrible happens, you could be held responsible. People who don't bathe or cloth their children are probably asleep on the sofa as their kids roam the house unattended.

[jojosmommy]

I agree with the earlier posts. I immediately thought why are you allowing them to pay as they go? Sounds like a terrible deal for you, never knowing when or how much your going to earn. And the rest is just neglect on their part. Be responsible and take care of your kids.

[Sugar Magnolia]

If you are caring for children as a job, you need to take a training course STAT on how to recognize and report neglect and abuse. Forget the money and the "no notice" stuff. This post has me upset because you talk about being inconvenienced FIRST, then procede to describe what seems to be a CLEAR CUT CASE of neglect. I don't care what state you live in, whether or not you're licensed, you better educate yourself QUICKLY about what is and is not neglect/abuse. They are so un-bathed they actually smell? YOU have to clean their nails? Are these children hungry upon arrival? Do they have behavioral issues that signal neglect? The diaper situation you described is a frequent occurence? Are they frequently ill and not seeing a doctor? If you answered yes to ANY ONE of these, you better report it. Jeez. Common sense.

[Unregistered]

If you are caring for children as a job, you need to take a training course STAT on how to recognize and report neglect and abuse. Forget the money and the "no notice" stuff. This post has me upset because you talk about being inconvenienced FIRST, then procede to describe what seems to be a CLEAR CUT CASE of neglect. I don't care what state you live in, whether or not you're licensed, you better educate yourself QUICKLY about what is and is not neglect/abuse. They are so un-bathed they actually smell? YOU have to clean their nails? Are these children hungry upon arrival? Do they have behavioral issues that signal neglect? The diaper situation you described is a frequent occurence? Are they frequently ill and not seeing a doctor? If you answered yes to ANY ONE of these, you better report it. Jeez. Common sense.

FYI- I called a licensed foster parent (of 27 years)- who has had over 100 foster kids in her home, and used to be a licensed provider and also another provider about the neglect, both said kids coming dirty wouldn't be considered neglect, as long as they are fed and have clothes, there's nothing CPS would do. They don't have any behavioral issues, they don't come hungry, they aren't frequently ill, they're just dirty, and it's not all the time. It's not normally this bad, just this week (DCM is away on business) Both ladies I talked to said it's not neglect, it's laziness on the DCD's part. So thanks, but I do know what to report and what not to.

Anyway, the situation took care of itself. When DCD came to get the kids I talked to him about how the winter pjs were inappropriate attire for a 92 degree day, and how the kids were sad that they didn't get to play outside. I also told him that they could use a bath tonight. He decided to pull the kids out and find other childcare. Fine by me! HUGE relief