Ummmm....Sociopath?

[nannyde]

Was it the one about 7-year-old Jani Schofield? I've seen that before. I came across it by accident and couldn't stop watching it. It was so sad because mom and dad had to take turns living with each child and the family couldn't live together because of the possibiltiy off her hurting her younger brother. It was a heartbreaking story.

Yes that was it. Very scary

I thought it was interesting that their perception of her behavior as an infant, toddler and preschooler was that she was highly intelligent and gifted.

[SilverSabre25]

Was it the one about 7-year-old Jani Schofield? I've seen that before. I came across it by accident and couldn't stop watching it. It was so sad because mom and dad had to take turns living with each child and the family couldn't live together because of the possibiltiy off her hurting her younger brother. It was a heartbreaking story.

Ooohhh, I think i saw something on that family on Discovery Health once! That was heartbreaking, but also, I thought, kind of fascinating. I'm especially amazed at the way the family has managed to cope. So many families just fall apart when faced with such strong special needs...but they seem to be holding things together (at least in the special that I saw).

[Michelle]

I am doing this unregistered for obvious reasons. I am a regular on these boards.

My oldest son is 28 years old and is a sociopath. Sociopaths tear families apart if they can. Luckily, my marriage is rock solid and my other children are a constant source of joy.

Sociopaths are superb liars and manipulators. To many people they are VERY likeable, outgoing and charismatic. Most of you probably know one and don't know it. To those caught in their web, they can make life hell on earth.

My family have had to remove ourselves from our son's life as much as possible for our own sanity. As a mother, it has broken my heart because I love him very much. It is hard to break away, but I have other children to think of.

The child you talk about may have other issues...but if she IS a sociopath, then the FAMILY need help. There is not much that can be done for a sociopath. We had our son in various therapy situations over his life. We were eventually told they would not see him any more. Therapy often does more harm than good for a sociopath. They lie during sessions and just learn more about human fraility and how to manipulate it.

We were told to pull away from him for our own sanity and that WE should go to therapy to cope with the loss of our son.

As a mother...this is the hardest thing I have ever done. My son lives only 50 miles from here. We have had no contact since last summer and I hate to say it....but our family life has been so much better without fear.

He got married this past January. His new wife will find out soon enough what life is like with him (he is still charming her off her feet right now in true sociopathic style). I am sad to say that I know for certain he will leave her as soon as he feels she's served her purpose.

With this little girl:
Watch for signs of chronic lying.
Watch for signs of her hurting the other kids or your animals with no guilt.
Watch for her manipulating every situation (they are masters at this...they will make you feel that YOU are at fault)


The family need to get a diagnosis as soon as possible (it can be harder in children) THEY are the ones who will need help and guidance if she is sociopathic. (Understand that sociopathic does not mean pyschopathic. But they are still dangerous)

Do not scare the parents, but urge them to get a diagnosis from several places. Hopefully she may just be ADD or even just going through a stage she will outgrow. But if not, the sooner the family learns how to cope the better. They will need to educate themselves. We got counseling and I joined several support groups and that has helped a lot.

I am a religious woman and I have faith that in the hereafter our son will be whole and will be a part of my family again and I can hug him then. Right now, I have to put all my energies into my other children and my husband and help them cope with the loss of our son......for it is a loss. The baby I held in my arms all those years ago is gone.

oh my gosh I just want to cry for you!

[Michelle]

Yes that was it. Very scary

I thought it was interesting that their perception of her behavior as an infant, toddler and preschooler was that she was highly intelligent and gifted.

I saw that one too,
They even had home video of the baby tracking something that only she saw!

[sahm2three]

I am doing this unregistered for obvious reasons. I am a regular on these boards.

My oldest son is 28 years old and is a sociopath. Sociopaths tear families apart if they can. Luckily, my marriage is rock solid and my other children are a constant source of joy.

Sociopaths are superb liars and manipulators. To many people they are VERY likeable, outgoing and charismatic. Most of you probably know one and don't know it. To those caught in their web, they can make life hell on earth.

My family have had to remove ourselves from our son's life as much as possible for our own sanity. As a mother, it has broken my heart because I love him very much. It is hard to break away, but I have other children to think of.

The child you talk about may have other issues...but if she IS a sociopath, then the FAMILY need help. There is not much that can be done for a sociopath. We had our son in various therapy situations over his life. We were eventually told they would not see him any more. Therapy often does more harm than good for a sociopath. They lie during sessions and just learn more about human fraility and how to manipulate it.

We were told to pull away from him for our own sanity and that WE should go to therapy to cope with the loss of our son.

As a mother...this is the hardest thing I have ever done. My son lives only 50 miles from here. We have had no contact since last summer and I hate to say it....but our family life has been so much better without fear.

He got married this past January. His new wife will find out soon enough what life is like with him (he is still charming her off her feet right now in true sociopathic style). I am sad to say that I know for certain he will leave her as soon as he feels she's served her purpose.

With this little girl:
Watch for signs of chronic lying.
Watch for signs of her hurting the other kids or your animals with no guilt.
Watch for her manipulating every situation (they are masters at this...they will make you feel that YOU are at fault)


The family need to get a diagnosis as soon as possible (it can be harder in children) THEY are the ones who will need help and guidance if she is sociopathic. (Understand that sociopathic does not mean pyschopathic. But they are still dangerous)

Do not scare the parents, but urge them to get a diagnosis from several places. Hopefully she may just be ADD or even just going through a stage she will outgrow. But if not, the sooner the family learns how to cope the better. They will need to educate themselves. We got counseling and I joined several support groups and that has helped a lot.

I am a religious woman and I have faith that in the hereafter our son will be whole and will be a part of my family again and I can hug him then. Right now, I have to put all my energies into my other children and my husband and help them cope with the loss of our son......for it is a loss. The baby I held in my arms all those years ago is gone.

I am so very sorry for you! And your family. I can't imagine a loss like that. It makes me want to cry. For you and for this family. This child is a VERY talented liar. When she threw my cat down the stairs, I sat down with her and asked her why she did it and she told me "I don't know" with a smirk on her face. Scared me half to death! She TOTALLY manipulates EVERY situation. For instance, she got in big trouble here yesterday, I told her that she lost her prize box privilage for the week. Well, dad came to get her and she asked for a prize and I told her no, we already talked about this, you lost your privilage. She cried and whined to her dad, telling him that I was being mean and on and on. She is always blaming others for things. Also, when she wrote on my wall, and her mom and I went to look at it, she smirked the entire time she was getting talked to about how bad it was and how disrespectful it was. She can't hold still for a second. She gets out of control very very easily. I can usually rein her back in, but if I miss my window, it is too late and she is then out of control. I am going to have to figure out how to talk to the parents so that they do something. They have suspected something deep seeded for a while. I am so sad for her too. What do you think goes on in that head of hers?

[Unregistered]

I am so very sorry for you! And your family. I can't imagine a loss like that. It makes me want to cry. For you and for this family. This child is a VERY talented liar. When she threw my cat down the stairs, I sat down with her and asked her why she did it and she told me "I don't know" with a smirk on her face. Scared me half to death! She TOTALLY manipulates EVERY situation. For instance, she got in big trouble here yesterday, I told her that she lost her prize box privilage for the week. Well, dad came to get her and she asked for a prize and I told her no, we already talked about this, you lost your privilage. She cried and whined to her dad, telling him that I was being mean and on and on. She is always blaming others for things. Also, when she wrote on my wall, and her mom and I went to look at it, she smirked the entire time she was getting talked to about how bad it was and how disrespectful it was. She can't hold still for a second. She gets out of control very very easily. I can usually rein her back in, but if I miss my window, it is too late and she is then out of control. I am going to have to figure out how to talk to the parents so that they do something. They have suspected something deep seeded for a while. I am so sad for her too. What do you think goes on in that head of hers?

Could be she is just being very defiant and pushing every boundary. I do so hope that is the case. But if she is truly a sociopath, then the only thing going through her mind is her.

They feel no guilt. They feel no sense of responsibility. Sociopaths get bored easily and are always looking for ways to give themselves a "rush". They are not burdened with empathy for other people. Unlike most people who spend their lives enjoying friendships, relationships with others, love of family and caring for all those people....a sociopath is only interested in themselves....and yet that becomes boring after a while and they feel the need to push limits.

In children this is often naughty behavior. It teens it often turns to crime, drugs, sex, dangerous behavior etc. My son didn't get into too much trouble with the law, but he stole from us, his grandparents and slept around without a care. He took physical risks simply because they gave him a rush.

Imagine life without caring about other people. No worries about them. No happiness for them. They are just "there". Sociopaths feel a "kind" of attachment sometimes. They focus their attentions on a certain person for some reason for a while. (think stalkers...research shows many are sociopaths) My son focused negative energy on one of his younger sisters. He has two...but focused only on one of them. He is 13 years older than she is. From the time she was about 3 years old, he called her disgusting names, or would refuse to speak to her at all. She loved her brother and it broke my heart to see the pain in her eyes. Luckily, her other big brother has been a wonder and is such a source of strength for her now. He is 10 years older than her.

My son has been "Mr. Dreamboat" to his girlfriend. She lived two states away for a while and their relationship was long distance. He called nightly, sent her poems and flowers etc.....the perfect boyfriend......except for the fact he was sleeping with TWO girls that worked at the convenience store near here. He has convinced his girlfriend that we are the most terrible parents and will say anything to split them up. She 100% believes him. They are now married. It won't be long before she catches him cheating...or calling her dreadful names. By then there may be children involved which is so sad.

Sociopaths can have bad temper tantrums, but for the most part are "happy" with life. As they don't give a hoot about other people, they they only have to worry about themselves. So in fact their lives are not as complicated as regular people's are. They don't care what other people think or feel.

If the little girl in question is a sociopath....nothing you try and teach her will mean a thing. You will never be able to appeal to her sense of duty, responsibility. She will never feel guilty or sorry for anything she has done. She may SAY sorry.....but only if it gets her something she wants or she is backed into a corner. She may one day be very helpful and good. It will be because she wants to be the center of attention and is trying to get something. Lying is just natural. About everything. She will watch every move you and her parents make and will learn your weaknesses and exploit them. This gets worse of course as they get older and more manipulative.

I do not mean to scare you. But to prepare you if you continue to tend this child. I have lived through 28 years of this. I am going to post an article that was in the paper a while ago. The woman in the article had a worse time that I did. She has a blog and we have been in touch. The article sheds more light on the hell parents go through with a sociopathic child.

The bottom line is that if you are dealing with a sociopath, you are dealing with what amounts to a soul-less person. It is scary and will wear you down because you cannot understand how it feels to NOT feel.

[Unregistered]

Parents find little help in dealing with psychopathic, sociopathic children
May 13th, 2011 @ 10:00pm
By Jennifer Stagg
— Most parents do their best to protect their children, but what if it's the parents who need protection from their kids?

A woman says she is terrified of her son. In fact, she is so frightened she asked we conceal her identity.

"Why lock the front door when you've got the enemy living in the house?" says "Karen."

She says her family was held hostage for 18 years. During that time, she says they lived in fear, tormented and manipulated by someone determined to destroy their lives.

"Why lock the front door when you've got the enemy living in the house?" -'Karen'
This "enemy," as she calls him, lived under the same roof. It was her firstborn son.

"If somebody is hurting your child, they are the enemy — and he was hurting himself," Karen says. "He was self-destructing, so he was turning into the enemy. And then he was doing his best to take down everybody else in the family."

Karen says her son, who we'll call "Justin," was a challenging child. He was charming and smart, yet defiant and manipulative even as a toddler. As he grew, so did his desire to control everything and everyone around him.

"[He] just kind of wanted to be in control — very oppositional to a lot of things, like trying to teach him his colors," Karen says. "I thought, ‘Why can't he learn his colors?' Well, he was just tricking me. He just didn't want me to think he had learned them.

As a teenager, Justin was popular, handsome and knew how to get what he wanted — particularly from young women. Money and valuables disappeared, and he would twist words to make his parents believe they were at fault.

But soon, Justin's behavior went from disturbing to dangerous. He had an explosive temper, threatened his brother at gunpoint, and severely beat up his pregnant girlfriend.

"When you're living in fear of that child, you're having to lock up everything," Karen says.

For Karen, "everything" included her other children."I knew I had to protect my daughter," she says. "I would lock her in her room at night and wear a key around my neck so she could get out but he couldn't get in."

"I just knew in my heart that he had no self- control and that he had no empathy, no compassion, and that he would take what he wanted," Karen says.

After one of many arrests, Justin was diagnosed with conduct disorder. It's a personality disorder closely linked to sociopaths and psychopaths. Those who have this disorder have no respect for rules or consequences, lack empathy and conscience, and are narcissistic.

When Justin ran away or was arrested, Karen was forced to bring her son back home, as his legal guardian. Yet, she says he was a danger to her family.

"We have a situation here where there's no cure, there's no medication," Karen says. "The only way to save yourself is to distance yourself and love them from a distance."

After Justin turned 18, Karen and her husband severed ties with him. She believes her son is a sociopath, just waiting for the right opportunity to cross over into a psychopath.

"[They'll] lie, steal. They'll sell their mother, rob their sister. People are just pawns in their game of life," Karen says. "They don't see us as people. They don't' love us. They don't love themselves, and people are just pieces in a game to be manipulated.

"There is nothing that interferes with what they have in mind and the extent that they will go to, to accomplish what needs to be done," says Dale Schipaanboord, psychologist and director of mental health services at the Utah State Prison.

That's where Justin, now in his early 20s, is currently serving time for home invasion and armed robbery.

Schipaanboord says the majority of inmates at the prison are sociopaths. The most horrendous crimes are usually committed by psychopaths.

The good news is that many sociopaths are not dangerous — most of us know one. It's psychopaths who pose the most threat. But it can be difficult to tell the difference because they will usually appear as normal as everyone else around you.

One of the most famous psychopaths is Ted Bundy. The serial rapist and murderer was caught and captured in 1975. The good-looking, charismatic Bundy later admitted to killing at least 30 young women across the country.

Bundy's case is the extreme. But Karen says she fears the day Justin is released from prison. "I don't know that all of them have the potential to become psychopaths, but I really feel in our case that our son does," she says.

"I have kind of adjusted to the fact that that may be how I leave this life, is at his hands," Karen continues, "because I'm willing to stand up and not just accept it."

There are very few resources for the families of sociopaths and psychopaths, since they typically aren't responsive to treatment. While the National Association for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) doesn't turn anyone away, they don't have any specific support groups.

[Live and Learn]

Virtual hugs to you.....

I am doing this unregistered for obvious reasons. I am a regular on these boards.

My oldest son is 28 years old and is a sociopath. Sociopaths tear families apart if they can. Luckily, my marriage is rock solid and my other children are a constant source of joy.

Sociopaths are superb liars and manipulators. To many people they are VERY likeable, outgoing and charismatic. Most of you probably know one and don't know it. To those caught in their web, they can make life hell on earth.

My family have had to remove ourselves from our son's life as much as possible for our own sanity. As a mother, it has broken my heart because I love him very much. It is hard to break away, but I have other children to think of.

The child you talk about may have other issues...but if she IS a sociopath, then the FAMILY need help. There is not much that can be done for a sociopath. We had our son in various therapy situations over his life. We were eventually told they would not see him any more. Therapy often does more harm than good for a sociopath. They lie during sessions and just learn more about human fraility and how to manipulate it.

We were told to pull away from him for our own sanity and that WE should go to therapy to cope with the loss of our son.

As a mother...this is the hardest thing I have ever done. My son lives only 50 miles from here. We have had no contact since last summer and I hate to say it....but our family life has been so much better without fear.

He got married this past January. His new wife will find out soon enough what life is like with him (he is still charming her off her feet right now in true sociopathic style). I am sad to say that I know for certain he will leave her as soon as he feels she's served her purpose.

With this little girl:
Watch for signs of chronic lying.
Watch for signs of her hurting the other kids or your animals with no guilt.
Watch for her manipulating every situation (they are masters at this...they will make you feel that YOU are at fault)


The family need to get a diagnosis as soon as possible (it can be harder in children) THEY are the ones who will need help and guidance if she is sociopathic. (Understand that sociopathic does not mean pyschopathic. But they are still dangerous)

Do not scare the parents, but urge them to get a diagnosis from several places. Hopefully she may just be ADD or even just going through a stage she will outgrow. But if not, the sooner the family learns how to cope the better. They will need to educate themselves. We got counseling and I joined several support groups and that has helped a lot.

I am a religious woman and I have faith that in the hereafter our son will be whole and will be a part of my family again and I can hug him then. Right now, I have to put all my energies into my other children and my husband and help them cope with the loss of our son......for it is a loss. The baby I held in my arms all those years ago is gone.

[CdnMumof4]

wow, scary things I'm reading.

Poor little girl- I can understand where her mother is coming from, BUT, she should be first in line wanting her child to be evaluated since her family has a history. She probably feels "at fault" for her child's behaviour and possible diagnosis, simply because there is a family history. That would be really hard on mom, but she has to think about her little girl, what's going on in her head, and those she's endangering around her.

As for the poster with an adult son diagnosed as a sociopath- big hugs to you and your family. I cannot even begin to imagine, it would be harder than a death on me, to have to walk away from my child. My heart aches for you.

[daycare]

oh my I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I am so sad just reading your post. I don't know how you deal with the loss. I cant imagine your pain.

hugs to you and your family!