Some Parents....GRRRR! (Vent)

[wdmmom]

I've been watching this almost 2 yo DCG for 3 months and I've already caught the DCM in 2 lies among other issues.

1.) DCM changed jobs about 6 weeks after I started working for her. I found out via her Facebook! She still has yet to supply a work phone number insisting she can always be reached on her cell, although just the other day it said she was in a testing and wouldn't be available for 3 hours.

2.) After changing jobs, she went 2 weeks without work still bringing DCG in at the same time every day and picking up at the same time everyday. I again found out via Facebook that she had went out to a local restaurant and had margaritas with a friend before picking up the DCG. (I didn't know this until after she picked DCG up.)

3.) DCM keeps telling he that her work schedule is going to change but she don't know to what. OK. Well, when you know, let me know. I require a 2 week notice for schedule changes.

4.) Last Friday DCD was 5 minutes late so the late fee is $5.00. I still have yet to be paid.

5.) DCM calls me at 5:29pm on Monday saying she got tied up on a phone call but is right down the road and will be right there. I close at 5:30pm. She showed up at 5:37pm so there's another $7.00 and I haven't seen that yet either. Then I find out AGAIN via Facebook that DCM fell asleep at her desk and got sent home. According to her posts, she went home, took a nap, and headed out of town to hang out with some girls from her past.

It's obvious that she lied about being caught on a phone call at work than. How do I tell this DCM that I don't appreciate being lied to and that she needs to adhere to the policies I have in place?

I'm really considering terming but I'm already losing one of my kids for the summer.

[jen2651]

jeepers, how dumb is she?! at least set your facebook to private! ok, sorry, this doesn't help but man, people are dumb!

[daycare]

Is there a reason why you keep following her on FB? Look at it like this.
As long as your getting paid you shouldn't care what your dcp are doing.

If you have not gotten your late fees paid it because your not enforcing it.

Also if she is drink driving you need to call the next person on her list to come pick up. No you can't hold a child hostage. If the mom wants to call the cops on you let her. She will be the one in trouble

[wdmmom]

I'm not "following" her on Facebook. My daycare has an account and all current parents are friends. This is where they get to see current events, pictures, and anything we've done as well as the menu.

DCM has until Friday to pay the late fees which she WILL be reminded of tomorrow.

My complaint isn't about caring where she is, it's the lateness that's followed by a blatent lie!

When this kid is normally picked up by 5:10pm and all the other kids were gone by 5:15, working until 5:37pm wasn't exactly what I had in mind, let alone being lied to.

I don't care if she's robbing the local bank, it's the lying I can't stand.

[morgan24]

Put her on the spot and tell her that you know she's been lying to you and then start enforcing your policies. Give her a date when late fees are due and if she doesn't have it when she drops off, don't let her leave dcg. If you send her away once she will know that you are serious. I would give her a due date to have a work phone number and if she doesn't bring it tell her the same thing when she tries to drop off, no phone number, no daycare. I can't stand lying either, so I call them out on it when I know. It usually leads to awkward silence or more lies that I call them out on.

[Cat Herder]

Keeping score will make you crazy.

I recommend getting back some control of your House, fast.

1. By setting YOUR schedule. Set opening/closing hours make all those "I may be changing jobs" conversations obsolete. It does not matter what they do as long as they follow YOUR schedule. You can do contracted hours, but enforcement gets exhausting, IMHO.

2. By enforcing your policies consistently. Examples: A. No one attends without required, up to date enrollment paperwork/contact info. B. No attendance when there is a balance due.

3. Late pickup payment is due at time of pickup...CASH ONLY. If no cash in hand give them until morning. Do not allow them in the door the next morning without it. Ever. If you cave they will not respect your policies. You have told them that you don't, yourself, by allowing it to begin with (twice), YKWIM?? (Check out Nannyde's Late pick up policy. It is the BEST I have ever heard. )

4. Stand up for yourself or they will continue to walk on you and you will continue to resent everything they do. It makes for an unpleasant lifestyle for everyone in your home, it adds up fast. Good luck!! Get strong!!

[wdmmom]

This isn't about being strong, I've enforced all my policies up to this point. It's about being lied to.

I have an open, honest relationship with all my parents. I'm sure they've all fibbed a time or two but they all are great, career-oriented people and much older than the 21 year old party animal mom.

I called her out the other day and hinted around the idea that I knew she lied about being tied up on a call. She played all nicey, nice and said the concert the night before was great and that she had a lot of fun.

I reminded her of the late charges...which she has until tomorrow to pay. No payment, no care come Monday.

My question is: How do I stop the lies? I don't want to worry about my clients lying to me or even feeling the need to lie to me. As long as I'm being paid, I don't care but at the same token, don't lie about being at work when it's clear you weren't.

[MyAngels]

Keeping score will make you crazy.

I recommend getting back some control of your House, fast.

1. By setting YOUR schedule. Set opening/closing hours make all those "I may be changing jobs" conversations obsolete. It does not matter what they do as long as they follow YOUR schedule. You can do contracted hours, but enforcement gets exhausting, IMHO.

2. By enforcing your policies consistently. Examples: A. No one attends without required, up to date enrollment paperwork/contact info. B. No attendance when there is a balance due.

3. Late pickup payment is due at time of pickup...CASH ONLY. If no cash in hand give them until morning. Do not allow them in the door the next morning without it. Ever. If you cave they will not respect your policies. You have told them that you don't, yourself, by allowing it to begin with (twice), YKWIM?? (Check out Nannyde's Late pick up policy. It is the BEST I have ever heard. )

4. Stand up for yourself or they will continue to walk on you and you will continue to resent everything they do. It makes for an unpleasant lifestyle for everyone in your home, it adds up fast. Good luck!! Get strong!!

This is good advice.

Also, do you have it in your policies that you must know who their current employer is, or that they are only allowed to bring the children to care if they are working?

I can understand your frustration about being told she was tied up at work when she wasn't, but honestly, I doubt that I would have told anyone that I was reprimanded for falling asleep at my desk, either.

[dEHmom]

This is good advice.

Also, do you have it in your policies that you must know who their current employer is, or that they are only allowed to bring the children to care if they are working?

I can understand your frustration about being told she was tied up at work when she wasn't, but honestly, I doubt that I would have told anyone that I was reprimanded for falling asleep at my desk, either.

i think we all fib sometimes to keep ourselves from looking like bad people. things like "oh how was your day?" me: "great! dcb was super good today " meanwhile, all i wished i could've done was rip out my hair and have a drink. but then it would be obvious to parents that i had a bad day

i agree with the pp who said who would want to admit they were sent home from work because they did something wrong.

for me, yesterday, dcd was home and putting away garbage bins when we drove by. i'm pretty sure he goes home to shower and pick up car (he carpools to school), and then comes and gets dcb. he was home at 330 and didn't pick up till after 4. we live about 8 mins walking distance and about 2 mins driving distance. i don't mind. i'm paid till 430 and they pick up around 4 pm everyday. I can understand him having a shower and stuff before coming to pick up too.

if you focus on the bad, all you will see is the bad. it's like a marriage.

and I agree that you need to set your due date for late fees and stick to it. come monday morning, if there is no payment, do not open your door.

[momma2girls]

i think we all fib sometimes to keep ourselves from looking like bad people. things like "oh how was your day?" me: "great! dcb was super good today " meanwhile, all i wished i could've done was rip out my hair and have a drink. but then it would be obvious to parents that i had a bad day

i agree with the pp who said who would want to admit they were sent home from work because they did something wrong.

for me, yesterday, dcd was home and putting away garbage bins when we drove by. i'm pretty sure he goes home to shower and pick up car (he carpools to school), and then comes and gets dcb. he was home at 330 and didn't pick up till after 4. we live about 8 mins walking distance and about 2 mins driving distance. i don't mind. i'm paid till 430 and they pick up around 4 pm everyday. I can understand him having a shower and stuff before coming to pick up too.

if you focus on the bad, all you will see is the bad. it's like a marriage.

and I agree that you need to set your due date for late fees and stick to it. come monday morning, if there is no payment, do not open your door.

I agree you have to be strong with your policies, otherwise they and others are going to walk all over you and keep doing it, sometimes even worse!!

[wdmmom]

i think we all fib sometimes to keep ourselves from looking like bad people. things like "oh how was your day?" me: "great! dcb was super good today " meanwhile, all i wished i could've done was rip out my hair and have a drink. but then it would be obvious to parents that i had a bad day

i agree with the pp who said who would want to admit they were sent home from work because they did something wrong.

for me, yesterday, dcd was home and putting away garbage bins when we drove by. i'm pretty sure he goes home to shower and pick up car (he carpools to school), and then comes and gets dcb. he was home at 330 and didn't pick up till after 4. we live about 8 mins walking distance and about 2 mins driving distance. i don't mind. i'm paid till 430 and they pick up around 4 pm everyday. I can understand him having a shower and stuff before coming to pick up too.

if you focus on the bad, all you will see is the bad. it's like a marriage.

and I agree that you need to set your due date for late fees and stick to it. come monday morning, if there is no payment, do not open your door.

Isn't that the truth?! ::::::

Yep, no late fees, no service and I'm sticking to it.

I wouldn't mind the showering before pick up, heck, her going home to sleep doesn't even bother me since I'm getting paid, it's the fact that she was a half hour beyond her normal pick up time and past closing time that burns my behind! She didn't have to lie, I really don't care. It's the lying that I refuse to tolerate. If you can't be truthful to me, you don't deserve to have contact with me.

[momma2girls]

Isn't that the truth?! ::::::

Yep, no late fees, no service and I'm sticking to it.

I wouldn't mind the showering before pick up, heck, her going home to sleep doesn't even bother me since I'm getting paid, it's the fact that she was a half hour beyond her normal pick up time and past closing time that burns my behind! She didn't have to lie, I really don't care. It's the lying that I refuse to tolerate. If you can't be truthful to me, you don't deserve to have contact with me.

I hate them also!!!

[daycare]

SOrry i guess I was mis reading your post... I am not sure that you can stop a liar from being what they are.....

I guess I would just not hold her in the same regards as before you knew that she was lying. Everyon hates a liar, but not much you can do about it.

If I were you, i would just stop looking to see what she is doing. If she's late, then she owes you money. If she doesnt pay, like you said, she doesn't have DC.

Sorry that you are in this situation it stinks.