"Me Time"

[MsMe]

Ha! My comment was posted....I was so sure they wouldn't put it up.

Love it!

Parents need 'me' time but not at the exspence of their children. My DCKs always know when Mom/Dad are home and not going to work and I every time they have a 'bad' day.

Time with me is NEVER better than time with parents.. Yes, I love them and they love me but time with parents is ALWAYS best. You should send your kids to daycare bc you HAVE to be away from them....not just bc you WANT to.

There is no formula to how much "me" time a person deserves and I have been more than happy to wish a DCM to have a great day at the spa once a year. I have another that has never missed a day (not even an hour!!) and I can't help but think very little of her.

It takes all kinds to make this world go round....but I don't think if is hard to see that parents that don't put the work, effort, and time into parenting are raising a generation of children who are takign a turn for the worst.

[MsMe]

One of the comments that bothered me the most was the one from the Mom of the 4 mo old.

[QualiTcare]

I wasn't really commenting on who is deserving of time away from their children. I think that's a personal decision that each parent must make for themselves.

I just think it's silly and immature to pretend like you're going to work in order to drop your child off at daycare only to go home and do whatever it is you want to do. If you've made the decision as a parent that you need this time away from your children, then simply be mature enough to own it.

i can't blame her for not wanting the provider to know. she doesn't want to be ostracized and might be afraid it will affect her child too - which isn't far fetched. people DO get upset (obviously) by parents who are at home instead of working and they DO project their frustration/anger, etc. onto the kids. i've seen it.

[juliebug]

as long as i am paid i don't care but i do like to know if they are working or not that way if i really need to make an appointment i won't feel bad and they can watch their kid that day.

[Kaddidle Care]

I had to chuckle at the one that posted after you stating that their Daycare provider takes a whole week vacation every year. Well woop-dy-do! And the other 51 weeks a year she's being a Mom to her own AND yours!

What a bunch of boobs!

It just proves one thing girls. Daycare providers aren't paid enough when SAH Moms can pay them and not feel it. Ruddy Princesses.

[laundrymom]

I had to chuckle at the one that posted after you stating that their Daycare provider takes a whole week vacation every year. Well woop-dy-do! And the other 51 weeks a year she's being a Mom to her own AND yours!

What a bunch of boobs!

It just proves one thing girls. Daycare providers aren't paid enough when SAH Moms can pay them and not feel it. Ruddy Princesses.

Ive read the thread there and here and have to say,... Thank God those kids have us. Personally I get my "me time" after my family goes to bed. Ive been a provider for 23 years, a mom for 20 and two times in all that time have I dropped my kids off to someone else for pay who wasnt a family member. once so I could meet with the lawyer when I kicked out my abusive ex husband, and once when I went to my divorce hearing. Thats it. I dont give a crap about their self entitled "meeeee tiiime". All I hear is that they are selfiush, and are too wrapped up in themselves to put someone elses life before themself. I was a single mom with two kids under 5 for awhile too. So for someone to say, your not a single mom you dont understand,.. smooch my hiney.

now my sil was a single mom, has a special needs child and did it all on her own all the time, and she did get help for her me time but I believe that is a completely different thing. Thats a sanity thing, not a gee I want to paint my nails without listening to my kid thing.

If you didnt want them, why have them? they are young so short a time..... and for crying out loud, dvr what you must watch and see it later. ugh
sorry this hits a nerve with me.

However I do not have a problem with a parent who has the day off and tells me, says,.. hey Im painting the kitchen today and will be home if you need me,.. or something lke that. But for someone to send their kid to daycare routinely, so they can pretend they dont have them,... thats wrong.

[Christian Mother]

I don't want to judge these mother's on there own personal time and how they use it. But, it would be nice to ashually be able to take a real sick day. If you try and call in telling everyone daycare will be closed...you get mad parents. But, they always send there sick children to you. I am trying to relax and get some rest..but I have my children here and I couldn't say no to one parent who could not find care. She doesn't seem to mind at all that I am sick and contagious. She is perfectly fine with me telling her we are having a "couch potato day". I want to cry bc she was supposed to pick up early. Only to get informed that she has a staff meeting she can't get out of. I need to revamp my late fees. And tell her for now on I charge $5 for every 1/2 someone is late regardless of if they call or not. I don't want to punish my parents bc I really try to understand but I'm sick... waaaaa!!!

[AfterSchoolMom]

i can't blame her for not wanting the provider to know. she doesn't want to be ostracized and might be afraid it will affect her child too - which isn't far fetched. people DO get upset (obviously) by parents who are at home instead of working and they DO project their frustration/anger, etc. onto the kids. i've seen it.

QualiT, you're probably right. I said before that I'd want them to be honest, but to be honest myself, I wouldn't like it if they picked up in their PJ's either. I know we all say that we don't care what parents are doing as long as we're getting paid...but come on, I know I'd get annoyed, especially if the child was a whiner/cryer/rule breaker.

[DCMom]

One of the comments that bothered me the most was the one from the Mom of the 4 mo old.

Yeah, that one bugged me too.

I really could care less what parents do during the day. As long as I get paid on time and they don't comment when I take my 'me time' aka~ paid vacation/holiday/personal days.

[AfterSchoolMom]

Yeah, that one bugged me too.

I really could care less what parents do during the day. As long as I get paid on time and they don't comment when I take my 'me time' aka~ paid vacation/holiday/personal days.

Ah, but usually they do, don't they?

[DCMom]

Ah, but usually they do, don't they?

No, not really. Mostly because I cover this topic in the interview process. I basically give them a list of days that I am scheduled to be closed for the year and they can plan accordingly. I tell straight out that I need to know where you are at all times in case of emergency. I won't begrudge you your off time if you don't begrudge me mine.

I use the example of a dcm several years ago whose daughter broke her wrist in a fall here and I couldn't get a hold of mom. She wasn't at work, wasn't at home, didn't have her cell. Was at the spa getting a massage and facial. I had to call dh from work to stay with the other kids while I took her to the emergency room. Mom showed up at her usual 5:00pm pick time and was told where to find us.

[MsMe]

However I do not have a problem with a parent who has the day off and tells me, says,.. hey Im painting the kitchen today and will be home if you need me,.. or something lke that. But for someone to send their kid to daycare routinely, so they can pretend they dont have them,... thats wrong.

Thank you!

I have been trying to fond the words to say just this for years. If you don't want them dont have them!

One commenter said ...'it is better for them to be at daycare I would just stick them infront of the t.v while I cleaned'....at home in nearly any capasity is better than at daycare.

I have two DCKs that never miss a day and their 'issues' are a mile long and could very possible be solved with a little one on on time.

[jen2651]

You know, before I left the working world, I too would use my daycare about once every two months so that I could be home by myself. BUT, I would have my children there at the same time as normal and pick up at the same time. My husband has two children from his first marriage who are here every weekend...so, the weekends were not so much 'catching up' as creating more mess! Plus, my job required me to work one to two evenings a week, sometimes with children in tow.

So yes, I did take my 'me' time. And it was selfish. But truly for the sanity/cleanliness/safety of my family, I needed that. They needed that. We all needed clean clothes gosh darn it. And matching socks.

I am not proud of that. It made me feel worthless to be such a 'failure' as to not be able to keep up with all my necessary committments. But, obviously I couldn't. I did not however, lie to my provider. I would show up in jeans and a sweatshirt at drop off. She would tell me to enjoy my day, and man, did I bust it out so I could get my whole list done. Never did I sit down and watch the Today show.

I think what bothered me about the blog/replies is the sense of entitlement that people feel they have. They think they 'deserve' this time...why? what are they doing that is so amazing, so different from everyone else?! I am now a single mom (not really, but my husband is working out of state) and I do daycare, and I wake my children up every am and put them to bed every pm. I cook every meal, tie every shoe, and diaper every bottom. And, when he comes home one weekend a month, I am not begging for a spa day, I am ecstatic to spend time as a family. Sure, I may take a trip to Wal*art at 11 pm when he is home...man, what a wonderful hour of time, all by myself. But, I wouldn't trade my life now for my life before. Forget all the me time I could have had.

I think they all need to stop being so lazy. You had the kids, now deal with them. Maybe you may find out you kind of like them?!

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I'm another one who doesn't care what the parent is doing while thier child is in care, as long as they pick up and drop off at the normal times. When a parent drops off after the cut off time that we've asked everyone to be here by it really messes up the day (since we're a preschool also, we have to have that cut off). So a parent who is the first to drop off in the mornings, (before anyone else) has the day off, but neglects to tell us until two or three hours after their usual drop off. Then doesn't bring their children in until after preschool has already started, just disrupting everything, and not even noticing the chaos they've caused. Or a parent who stays at home, but brings child for mornings only care. Contracted pick up is 12:00. But more often than not she comes dragging in 30 minutes to an hour late, with the excuse that she "got busy and lost track of time" or "went back to bed and accidentally slept in".
So if they want to bring their child to daycare on days they're off work, that's fine, but don't drop off late (without even calling ahead of time to say they won't need you so early that morning), or picking them up late so you can have more me time. Contracted hours are there for a reason. This is group care and a parent dropping off late/early or picking up late/early really messes up the daily activities and affects everyone else.

[Mom_of_two]

Interesting. I find more problem with the dishonesty. I don't know the mental/emotional status of her child etc. When I worked outside the home, I LOVED being with my girl on my days off. But on a couple occasions would pick up after running errands or whatever. Without knowing the whole story (I do have a friend who leaves her daughter with her sitter well into the evening and selfishly does what she wants- I am not close with her anymore because our values are so different) I find it hard to judge.

PP who said you felt like a failure- I sure hope you can find some peace, we all do the best we can at the time.

I don't care what my dc parents do (within reason, haha, but I mean at work or off)- they pay weekly 'tuition' and kids can be here whenever needed during my open hours.

There was a provider commenter after the article who said 'what about the daycare providers me time' - that one did bug me, because my 'me time' is not my daycare families problem, if they are not coming early or staying late. that is my responsibility to carve out.

I guess I think I should stick to my policies, accept families that respect me and I feel comfortable with, and report things I find to be truly abusive. But I don't feel comfortable rating a parent's love (that I don't even know) on needing more time to themselves. Would I do it, no, I try to spend every moment I can with my girls. I get up at 440 to exercise, and do chores at night. BUT there are exceptions! On a day that is crazy with daycare and kids, my husband takes over awhile when he gets home etc. I do need me time. (I think we all do, but that is just my opinion)but I don't lie to get it.

Thanks for the link it was interesting to read and think about.