Dropping off early, arriving late

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I am so beyond frustrated with my sister in law, yet I'm afraid if I say anything I will be without income. I have already cracked down on my pick up time, I close at 5pm and so many times she showed up after that until I started enforcing my late fee which she didn't like so she has been prompt since she had to pay extra (and I only charge $5 for every 1/2 hour late and she complained about that).

Her work shift is from 8-4, with a 20-25min. drive time. Every day she drops off my "half" nephew around 6:15 and picks up as close to 5 as she can, usually she runs right on the dot at 5pm. He is here close to 11 hours a day and her shift is only 8 hours with a max. drive time each way totaling appx. 1 hour...so really she only needs me for 9 hours a day, yet he's here for 11?? Just really upsets me.

I know in the morning she sits with her mom and has coffee (which bothers me that she dumps her boy off earlier than she needs to)..if she gets out at 4, with a 25min. drive, why does she struggle to get here at 5 is beyond me. I can understand a store stop once in a while but it's daily.

I must be PMS'ing because it's really getting under my skin. When my daughter was 3, same age as my half nephew, I was working full time and I felt guilty leaving her while I worked, I wouldn't dream of dumping her off MUCH earlier than I needed to or picking her up much later than my work shift. Maybe I'm just different, but it really bugs me. I have even found out on a few occations that she had the day off yet he came same time with same pick up.

Just venting, thanks for listening ladies, I know I should say something but I"m just afraid to, I don't want her all upset with me and create a bitter relationship. She has been doing this for quite a long time so obviously she doesn't feel it's wrong, but I do.

[Cat Herder]

It is already becoming a bitter relationship.

She is showing you that she does not respect you and you resent it.

You are going to HAVE to give her a NO or this will always be an issue.

BTDT. I will never do business with friends or family again.

Sorry you are in the middle of it, now..

[nannyde]

She just doesn't want to be around her kid anymore than she absolutely has to. She's dropping him off an hour and fifteen minutes earlier because he is awake at that time and she doesn't want to be around him when he is awake.

She's leaving him there late because he is up at that time and she doesn't want to be around him anymore than she has to when he's awake. If you would allow it for free he would be there until bedtime every day.

Change her hours to 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. effective immediately. If she wants hours beyond that it needs to be hefty... at least ten dollars an hour scheduled... 20 dollars an hour unscheduled.

[wdmmom]

I'm with Nannyde on this one.

I charge based on a parent's WORK schedule. Meaning...if you work 8 to 5, your child's rate will be equivalent to 730-530.

Tell the mom that her schedule is being changed from 730 to 430. Tell her that the rate she is paying is less than others and it was based on a 430pm pickup. Tell her to adhere to the schedule or her rate will go up...WAY UP! ::

BTW...there's no way I'd be worried about speaking to my SIL. My family knows how I am and I'm not going to put myself in a position of being ripped off. You should do the same. Family is more liable to take advantage...don't let 'em!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I have to find that backbone I know!

Another thing that gets to me is, a couple months ago she was telling me her boss was encouraging her to start using some of her vacation time as she has built up so much of it (I think like 5 weeks worth). I am calling off next Wed. so I can chaperone my daughter's kindergarten class at the zoo. So I asked her who was going to watch T**** and her response was she was going to have to have her 12 year old daughter (my neice) stay home from school to watch him. WTF!!! SERIOUSLY! She never wants to miss work even though she has all that time to take and her boss was encouraging her to start using it. That's crap.

The thing is, I don't understand WHY she doesn't want to be around her son, he's really a good boy. He has his moody moments but he is so good for the most part. I guess that's a little reason why I haven't spoken up, he is a VERY good boy here and I have had some very naughty kids and don't want the thought of having to bring in a child that could possibly cry all day long or just not listen.

[wdmmom]

Is DCD in the picture? What's his work schedule?

Honestly, I'm sure you are charging a lower rate for family and I would tell her,

"You are getting a lower rate than anyone else and I give you a discount but your child is here the longest day after day. You only work 8-4 so I am limiting your hours of daycare to 7-5 (at the very most.) If you want the extra hours, your rate is going up. I don't want you to be mad but you have to understand that I don't work this long for my highest paying client."

I wouldn't give her the option to drop off any earlier than 7am. If she wants to have coffee with her mom, she can take her son with her. If she wants to go to the store after work, she can take him.

Stay strong and for every "what if" or "but", have one to throw back at her.

If she says "The store is on the way and I just needed one thing."

Your response, "Yeah, I understand that but if I need one thing, I have to take my kids WITH me."

Translation: "You should do the same!"