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I am a registered user posting unregistered to maintain privacy. I really need some help here as I can no longer deal with this on my own. Any advise is welcome!
I have a client that has been with me for about 1 1/2 yrs. She tells me some of her problems and I try to keep it professional but we know some of the same people so sometimes I have listened I admit it BUT I never engage or share information in return. I have listened though. When she lingers with talk I try to politely see her out. If we are in the yard when she comes her kid will fight me and not want to leave. She will have to come in and get the kid. Then she sits and talks. I ignore her and go about my way in the yard but she follows or sits. I have heard horrible stories about her abusive boyfriend which she always forgives. She will remove him from the pick up list becuse of a terrible thing he does then a week later put him back on. Off, on, off, on. I am so sick of the drama! Then she stands here and puts her poor Mother down when she can't loan her money or do something she wants. The Mother seems very nice and has picked her kid up a handful of times for her. Her Mother isn't the only person she stabs in the back but moving on... This DCM has threatened a few times to pull her 3 yr old child and when I say ok I need just a written notice and I will fill your spot she changes her mind and says she was just stressed. It's usually over issues she doesn't want to hear about her kid. This is just some background. Now the real issue.
This DCM came to me last month saying she was pregnant. I informed her I don't have any room for another child. She said she doesn't know what to do because she doesnt really like her boyfriend and doesnt want to be tied to him but this baby will tie them together forever. She hugs me and cries. I don't know what to say so I try to be kind and tell her everything will work out. Then she informs me that her boyfriend said "kill it". She told him no never and went on for a week about how she is happy to have another and will manage and her child will have a sibling etc. But after the next weekend she changed her mind. She actually stood in my kitchen and said "I don't want to deal with this thing anymore, it's ruining my life so I am taking a pill that will kill it" I am against abortion unless it is rape or some issue like that. I keep my opinion to myself and bite my tongue. I do NOT like the conversations and I try to get her out ASAP but she's trying to hug me again! I was sickened by her! To kill a baby because a boyfriend doesn't want it doesn't fly with me, especially when neither one are using birth control!! I have lost ALL respect for her now!
Fast forward to last week I guess this child is now dead inside of her and has been in there for a couple weeks! I don't want to ask questions as it disgusts me but how can that be? I have never heard of this but then again I don't know anyone who has had an abortion. She said it was to come out like a miscarriage after the pills killed it but it's just dead inside and not coming out. (this makes me so sad I just want to cry when she runs her mouth!) She says she can't afford to go to a Dr to get it taken out so it's just sitting in there and she's going about her days cheery as usual. I don't get this at all but I don't dare ask! I tell myself do not engage get her out asap! BUT how can this poor baby be dead laying in there for weeks and she's normal??
Now today she tells me she was just told this baby is going to kill her because the body has the toxins that killed it and it's in her body and she could die. She's calmly telling me this and I want to puke! I tell her I have to go and I'm sorry she is having problems but she has to leave so I can leave. (I didn't really have to leave but I couldn't take it!) She says she will be having it removed tomorrow so she won't be coming to daycare. Fine good luck to ya is what I think!
My first question is HOW do I avoid this drama? I have always discouraged a personal relationship but not in a rude manner. When she gets personal discussions going I flip it back to the education or tell her I have to get the kids on schedule, something. I don't even know if I can have her as a client anymore as her ignorance disgusts me! I try to believe each person has right to their own decissions but hers is being shoved down my throat repeatedly. I don't want to know about it and no matter how much I rush her out the door or out of my yard she still rambles! I am about to say something I will regret about this whole abortion issue! If she would drop it and never mention it again I may be able to keep her as a client (even though I have lost ALL respect) because it's her choice not mine but she has got to stop reminding me what she has done to this life!
Question two, how is such a thing possible or is she insane? Maybe just a dramatic liar? Anyone ever hear of this? Oh my stomach is just churning here for this poor child!!
I have a client that has been with me for about 1 1/2 yrs. She tells me some of her problems and I try to keep it professional but we know some of the same people so sometimes I have listened I admit it BUT I never engage or share information in return. I have listened though. When she lingers with talk I try to politely see her out. If we are in the yard when she comes her kid will fight me and not want to leave. She will have to come in and get the kid. Then she sits and talks. I ignore her and go about my way in the yard but she follows or sits. I have heard horrible stories about her abusive boyfriend which she always forgives. She will remove him from the pick up list becuse of a terrible thing he does then a week later put him back on. Off, on, off, on. I am so sick of the drama! Then she stands here and puts her poor Mother down when she can't loan her money or do something she wants. The Mother seems very nice and has picked her kid up a handful of times for her. Her Mother isn't the only person she stabs in the back but moving on... This DCM has threatened a few times to pull her 3 yr old child and when I say ok I need just a written notice and I will fill your spot she changes her mind and says she was just stressed. It's usually over issues she doesn't want to hear about her kid. This is just some background. Now the real issue.
This DCM came to me last month saying she was pregnant. I informed her I don't have any room for another child. She said she doesn't know what to do because she doesnt really like her boyfriend and doesnt want to be tied to him but this baby will tie them together forever. She hugs me and cries. I don't know what to say so I try to be kind and tell her everything will work out. Then she informs me that her boyfriend said "kill it". She told him no never and went on for a week about how she is happy to have another and will manage and her child will have a sibling etc. But after the next weekend she changed her mind. She actually stood in my kitchen and said "I don't want to deal with this thing anymore, it's ruining my life so I am taking a pill that will kill it" I am against abortion unless it is rape or some issue like that. I keep my opinion to myself and bite my tongue. I do NOT like the conversations and I try to get her out ASAP but she's trying to hug me again! I was sickened by her! To kill a baby because a boyfriend doesn't want it doesn't fly with me, especially when neither one are using birth control!! I have lost ALL respect for her now!
Fast forward to last week I guess this child is now dead inside of her and has been in there for a couple weeks! I don't want to ask questions as it disgusts me but how can that be? I have never heard of this but then again I don't know anyone who has had an abortion. She said it was to come out like a miscarriage after the pills killed it but it's just dead inside and not coming out. (this makes me so sad I just want to cry when she runs her mouth!) She says she can't afford to go to a Dr to get it taken out so it's just sitting in there and she's going about her days cheery as usual. I don't get this at all but I don't dare ask! I tell myself do not engage get her out asap! BUT how can this poor baby be dead laying in there for weeks and she's normal??
Now today she tells me she was just told this baby is going to kill her because the body has the toxins that killed it and it's in her body and she could die. She's calmly telling me this and I want to puke! I tell her I have to go and I'm sorry she is having problems but she has to leave so I can leave. (I didn't really have to leave but I couldn't take it!) She says she will be having it removed tomorrow so she won't be coming to daycare. Fine good luck to ya is what I think!
My first question is HOW do I avoid this drama? I have always discouraged a personal relationship but not in a rude manner. When she gets personal discussions going I flip it back to the education or tell her I have to get the kids on schedule, something. I don't even know if I can have her as a client anymore as her ignorance disgusts me! I try to believe each person has right to their own decissions but hers is being shoved down my throat repeatedly. I don't want to know about it and no matter how much I rush her out the door or out of my yard she still rambles! I am about to say something I will regret about this whole abortion issue! If she would drop it and never mention it again I may be able to keep her as a client (even though I have lost ALL respect) because it's her choice not mine but she has got to stop reminding me what she has done to this life!
Question two, how is such a thing possible or is she insane? Maybe just a dramatic liar? Anyone ever hear of this? Oh my stomach is just churning here for this poor child!!
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