Library Problem

**Cat Herder** · 05-16-2011, 06:22 AM

The library has to make the decision to ask him not to come back.

I would start with getting the other parents on board....

**nannyde** · 05-16-2011, 06:46 AM

Originally posted by countrymom

every tues. I take my kids to the library program and they are very well behaved good kids who enjoy the program. My sister and her dd come as well.
Well there is a child that attends and he is very bad, and I mean if he was my kid, I would drag his butt out and we would never attend kinda bad.

Last week, my dcg had 2 bow hairclips near the front of her hair, he grabbed both of them and tried to rip them out of her hair. Oh this child is almost 5 yrs old.
he tried to trip the librarian
laying on top on dcb
hitting dcg
pushing my niece
pushing
not listening
yelling

and his father sits there and does nothing. he will call his name and do nothing. Its a joke. I don't care what their home situation is (it seems like everyone always blames home situations when the chidlren are bad) he has no right behaving like that. I addressed my concerns to the librarian last week as I'm concerned with the amount of physical contact he likes to do with the kids.
Last week I started yelling at him (my sister thought it was funny because the dad still sat their) so what can I do.

The Dad wants a free place to take his kid where he doesn't have to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

So when he's there with his kid and he HAS to call his name he is doing WAY more than what he wants.

You think he is doing nothing. To him he's not getting his way which is to just take the free and not do anything. If he has to say his kids name in an effort to look like he's doing something besides nothing... to him... that is WAY more than what he wants.

So you think he's not doing anything and he thinks he's having to do way too much.

He doesn't have a problem if he harms the other kids and ruins their time. As long as it keeps him at doing nothing then he will be okay with that. He doesn't have a problem with you doing anything because he KNOWS whatever you can do is nothing to the kid. So he's square either way.

Being able to do any kind of free ranging public activities is going to become less and less available. Places that host that are going to shut them down because the amount of work to manage your complaints isn't worth the activity or value of the activity.

It ****s for this generation but it's the way it is.

Obviously talking to the Librarian again is the only route other than not going there. Having less kids attend is to the Dad's benefit if there is an adult entertaining kids for free there. The less kids the better chance the Dad gets to have his free and no work.

**wdmmom** · 05-16-2011, 06:49 AM

I would notify the librarian or a higher up of what is going on. They can't fix it if they don't know.

I would also confront the lazy dad and tell him to take care of his kid!

AND

If the kids is still around to run around like a heathen, find another library or a new activity to do on Tuesdays.

**MN Mom** · 05-16-2011, 07:06 AM

** The post I was quoting has disappeared! Please disregard

**DaisyMamma** · 05-16-2011, 05:01 PM

You are so polite. I can't stand that kind of stuff. I will say something right to the child. "excuse me, it's not nice to push" and then give the dad a look. The second time I would tell him again, but firmer, and also give the dad a longer look. The third time I would tell the dad he needs to do something about his child.

**Abigail** · 05-16-2011, 06:08 PM

Since your librarian is aware of it, I would go ahead and ask them for their "list of rules" in general in order to attend. Then I would talk to dad telling him you received a complaint about poor behavior and wanted to give him an update on the rules that must be followed to attend. You don't necessarily have to say you've gotten a complaint, but you can say you were given this because of the behavior witnessed.

**nannyde** · 05-16-2011, 06:24 PM

Originally posted by Abigail

Since your librarian is aware of it, I would go ahead and ask them for their "list of rules" in general in order to attend. Then I would talk to dad telling him you received a complaint about poor behavior and wanted to give him an update on the rules that must be followed to attend. You don't necessarily have to say you've gotten a complaint, but you can say you were given this because of the behavior witnessed.

The kid acting up is just attending the library thing with his dad. It's not her dck

**Meyou** · 05-17-2011, 03:22 AM

First off I would address the child directly if anything he did affect one of my DCK's OR any child near me. I will always speak to any child behaving inappropriately regardless of how many grownups they have around. If the parent isn't close enough or aware enough to deal with the kid quickly and effectively then I will protect any kids in my mama bear vicinity. :P

Then I would bring attention to Dad and HIS bad behavior....."Excuse me SIR, EXCUSE ME! Your son is having trouble keeping his hands to himself. Could you come help please? Sir? Can you hear MEEEEEEE? The rst of the kids are waiting for you to get your child off the table!!! SIR??" I've done this at the playground with wild kids and it usually embarasses them enough to leave or at least appear to be wrangling the demons. :P

Make Daddy-O accountable for his lack of parenting by addressing him directly. He's using you and every other adult there and it's not right.

Good luck!!

**countrymom** · 05-17-2011, 06:59 AM

Originally posted by Meyou

First off I would address the child directly if anything he did affect one of my DCK's OR any child near me. I will always speak to any child behaving inappropriately regardless of how many grownups they have around. If the parent isn't close enough or aware enough to deal with the kid quickly and effectively then I will protect any kids in my mama bear vicinity. :P

Then I would bring attention to Dad and HIS bad behavior....."Excuse me SIR, EXCUSE ME! Your son is having trouble keeping his hands to himself. Could you come help please? Sir? Can you hear MEEEEEEE? The rst of the kids are waiting for you to get your child off the table!!! SIR??" I've done this at the playground with wild kids and it usually embarasses them enough to leave or at least appear to be wrangling the demons. :P

Make Daddy-O accountable for his lack of parenting by addressing him directly. He's using you and every other adult there and it's not right.

Good luck!!

thats awesome idea, I will try something today and see what happens. I didn't want to sound rude but he's hurting my dck's and I can't have that. Heck if they were my own kids I would do the same thing.

**youretooloud** · 05-17-2011, 07:44 AM

I've had moments like this, and I will get in the kid's face... er... I mean On his level, and firmly say "These are MY kids, and you will NOT touch any of MY kids again. I don't allow anyone to hurt my kids". And, then send him towards his dad. His dad clearly doesn't care, or doesn't have the tools to handle it. So, you can handle it. We don't allow someone else to come in and bully our kids.

You wont say it in a mean scary voice. You speak in a respectful but firm "I mean what I say" voice. But, be kind too, because he is just a little kid with no social skills... so, he deserves to be treated with kindness.

**Meyou** · 05-17-2011, 07:57 AM

Originally posted by countrymom

thats awesome idea, I will try something today and see what happens. I didn't want to sound rude but he's hurting my dck's and I can't have that. Heck if they were my own kids I would do the same thing.

Every other parent in the room is probably thinking the same thing as you so the only one who might think you're rude is the dad. And who cares about him? :

:

Just keep your tone polite but like youretooloud said use your "I mean business" voice.

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