Do You Ever Wonder That Maybe It IS You And Not Them?

[SimpleMom]

i totally agree! i'm sure that you do at least one thing as a parent that i'd find crazy and i probably do something that you would find crazy - and the same goes for every single one of us.

i care about manners, nutrition, routines, etc., but that doesn't mean you won't see me at McDonald's or catch me digging for a quarter for a gumball machine just to get my son to be quiet. nobody is perfect.

everyone wants to feel like they're a good mom and/or the BEST mom. if someone does something differently it doesn't mean that they're wrong bc they don't do it the way that "you" or i would do it, and it doesn't make us better moms than each other IMO. everyone does what works for them. unfortunately, when you keep kids in a daycare, what works for them at their home might not work for "you" in yours which makes it hard on the routine and easier to spot the "flaws."

Totally agree with this (and Blackcat's statement)!

[MG&Lsmom]

Jumping on this really late, but I wanted to add that DH and I always say "are we really that much different than everyone else?" I have to consciously stop myself from shaking my head in disbelief when some of our friends and family talk about "problems" with their children. We have 2 special needs kids. In our eyes just about every one else is lazy. :: I'm not sure it's all the younger generation. Almost all the parents I know who started in their 40s are just as bad. My husband actually can't be around my friend's DH because of how he complains about having to "parent". When he's done working, from home, all he wants to do is watch his shows on TV and not be bother by the kids wanting to interact with him. They have a decade on us but have the same age kids.

[nannyde]

I also think the concern for a child's self esteem has had a huge hand in this change in parenting. Not one single time as a child growing up do I remember either of my parents or any adult in my life giving me directions, rules or punishments ever asked me what I thought or felt about the matter at hand. NOT ONE. Today parents and teachers are directed to explain everything. You rarely hear "Because I said so." anymore.

Schools have eliminated any type of activity where children can or could be separated and thought of as anything but equal yet they are taught that they are all unique too so how can children absorb each message clearly and fully. They can't play competitive sports or any activity where someone could be a loser because what will that child grow up to be if he is a loser in a simple game of dodgeball?! Now we need to expain that every child is a winner and every child is special. If they ask why, we need to expalin that to them as well.

Kids don't have respect because who are they suppose to respect?...the people they are allowed to control (parents, teachers, caregivers). They also do not have rules because if they did it may hurt their self esteem and make them feel bad about themselves so we can't confine them to a set of rules; that is unhealthy for their egos.

IMPO, this new age of parents really just has such low level of self-esteem that they can't possibly bear to have anyone dislike them.....especially their children. Much like growing a backbone, you cannot develop one unless you use it so, I think self esteem is the same way...if you aren't the loser and/or winner a few times in your life, how do you ever figure out who you are or what you are made of?

I appreciate good food because I have been poor enough to not be able to afford it.
I appreciate good friends and family because I know what it is like to be alone.
I appreciate my car because I have had to walk before.
I appreciate good daycare families who pay on time and respect my rules because I have had really bad ones before.

KWIM?

Black Cat can write herself a dang good post LIKEY

I don't know about the self esteem part though. I have to sit on that one.

[MommyMuffin]

I am 26.

I had a child because I WANTED to be a mom. And when you WANT to be a mom you always think about what is best for your child. I also grew up in a strict household and I have a strong sense of faith. These things drive me to, spend as much quality time with my kid and provide as healthy meals as possible.

I feel for the parents who work outside the home. I do think it can be hard to work all day away from home, pick up your kid, bring them home, by the time you get home its late. Try to make a decent supper before getting kids ready for bed and get a few minutes to spend with them and then finally get to do some things you need to.

I'm just saying since being home doing daycare I have been able to be a much better mom than I was when I worked outside the home. I hardly got to see my kid and when I did I was so tired and had a list a mile long of chores that I barely spent "quality time" with her. And because I felt so guilty about that, I would let things slide.
Now I have time to plan how I want to parent, research the best solutions to discipline and dont give in to her because I know what is good for her and I dont feel guilty anymore.


I know lots of parents do "what works" and I shake my head. (My dcb 3 yr old still calls milk "moo moo"....its called milk...teach him the right word!!! They also still carry him to and from the car!!) drives me nutty!

There are so many different factors in why people parent the way they do. But, yes sometimes I just shake my head and it drives me coo coo seeing some parenting techniques.

But I always tell myself, they are the parent and they are doing what they think is best for their child and it is their right.

[nannyde]

I think one thing that is missing too is the praise that needs to come the way of the ones that ARE doing a really good job.

When you have family, friends, and clients who are raising GREAT kids you should tell them you like the way they parent and enjoy being around their children. Tell them the things YOU learn from THEM and how it has helped YOU be a better parents.

Good, solid, hard working parents should know when "society" appreciates the great job they are doing. They need to hear the words "you are an excellent parent. I admire that and I dig your kids"

[CdnMumof4]

ha I agree

I agree 100%! It drives me nuts to see parents with their children sometimes. My dck parents are all very good though, but when we do playdates with other parents or even go to places that have other providers and children, and parents and children...I too shake my head in disbelief.

My favourite, is how I get nothing but compliments when I've got my entire crew out ,either at the park, the resource centre, library..etc. Everyone goes " are these ALL your children? becasue you are so amazing with them, I don't know how you do it!" ...... I'm 28yrs old, no, I don't have 6 children of my own and one on the way - but I always thank them and tell them I love what I do and my children love having their playmates. I do see people at the park with their kids...the shadow parents drive me CRAZY. yes..it's important to watch your child and be aware of what he/she is doing at all times- but don't stand on top of her while she's trying to explore. Don't correct the way she's pretending at the "corner store" , don't start picking apart her outfit choice when she's headed toward the slide...just let the kid PLAY.

I had to ask this man who didn't speak English, to let my children play on their own. He kept correcting my youngest son , who likes to go down the slide, backwards and on his belly [feet first]. he LOVES this. the man kept picking him up, and putting him on his bum to push him forward - no thanks mister, my kid is going to grabthe sides of the slide to flip, and flip right off the edge of the slide. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!

[jen2651]

I appreciate good food because I have been poor enough to not be able to afford it.
I appreciate good friends and family because I know what it is like to be alone.
I appreciate my car because I have had to walk before.
I appreciate good daycare families who pay on time and respect my rules because I have had really bad ones before.

KWIM?

Amen sister.

I appreciate my house and the things I have in it as I have made my choices/sacrifices for them.
I appreciate my life because this is what I have created for myself and while there are minor things I would change, our hearts and souls are right where they need to be.

[SilverSabre25]

On this subject, today I'm wondering if it's just me who teaches kids to manage their own clothing from a very young age...my 3 yo dcb can't take off his own shirt (and by extension, the dress-up dress I just 'rescued' him from), my 2 yo dcg can't manage her own shoes, or pants, or pull-up (she's the one being forced into potty training...whose parents told me before her birthday that they were potty training her starting on her second bday and that they'd be sending her in underwear from then on--i said NO btw).

I also keep seeing my dcps send these two kids (two different families, btw) in clothing they couldn't POSSIBLY manage on their own...belts and overalls on the pt'd 3 yo, tightly buckled sandals that *I* have trouble with on the 2 yo...sure thing set your kid up for failure why don't you?

My DD was undressing herself sometime during her second year (by 18 months for sure) and was managing her own shoes (easy ones) by two. I made sure that she had clothes she could do easily on her own (or with minimal assistance), I made sure that she had/has shoes she can manage on her own, now that she has learned to buckle herself into her car seat, I make sure to leave enough time to let her do so in 24/25 cases! Once she can do something, I let her as much as I possibly can!

So why does it seem like I'm such a whacko? Or are they (the dcps) the whackos?!

[countrymom]

On this subject, today I'm wondering if it's just me who teaches kids to manage their own clothing from a very young age...my 3 yo dcb can't take off his own shirt (and by extension, the dress-up dress I just 'rescued' him from), my 2 yo dcg can't manage her own shoes, or pants, or pull-up (she's the one being forced into potty training...whose parents told me before her birthday that they were potty training her starting on her second bday and that they'd be sending her in underwear from then on--i said NO btw).

I also keep seeing my dcps send these two kids (two different families, btw) in clothing they couldn't POSSIBLY manage on their own...belts and overalls on the pt'd 3 yo, tightly buckled sandals that *I* have trouble with on the 2 yo...sure thing set your kid up for failure why don't you?

My DD was undressing herself sometime during her second year (by 18 months for sure) and was managing her own shoes (easy ones) by two. I made sure that she had clothes she could do easily on her own (or with minimal assistance), I made sure that she had/has shoes she can manage on her own, now that she has learned to buckle herself into her car seat, I make sure to leave enough time to let her do so in 24/25 cases! Once she can do something, I let her as much as I possibly can!

So why does it seem like I'm such a whacko? Or are they (the dcps) the whackos?!

I have kids who at teh age of 2 can undress and redress in seconds, then I have a 5.5yr old who can't do anything. How many times he comes with clothes that are backwards, can't put his coat on, his shoes. His mom says its easier if she does it rather than letting him do it.

[countrymom]

I was talking to a mom this weekend and she works with kids with mental illnesses. She said the same thing, parents are so self absorbed that they don't want to deal or listen to their children. Its easier to argue with your kids and give them what they want. Also, parents seem to be stressing their children out so much with their own probloms.

I too get "are these all your children" "omg they are so well behaved" seriously how hard is it to let kids be kids, and let them know what boundries are. I love the parents who complain and they they only have 1 kid.