Do You Ever Wonder That Maybe It IS You And Not Them?

[E Daycare]

Yes this generation drives me nuts and I AM this generation. I turn 29 in two weeks and all my peers are either new parents or are having kids. Some days I want to yell at them and others I remember everyone has their own way.

Just my way is the way. They need to see this LMAO ::::::::JK JK

[Blackcat31]

Instead of the Star Spangled Banner, this should be our new National Anthem:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A

::::OMG!! LOVE it!! Beeker was always my favorite! ::::

[jodi]

Don't you wish you could post this whole string on the parent board? But the ones in question wouldn't see themselves I'm sure. So frustrating. My daughter-in-law is like this and I hate it but taking care of my grandchild is sooooooooo hard - I don't even look forward to it. Very difficult to bite my tongue.

[elle73]

I have a friend who has 2 kids and she makes 3 seperate meals at dinner time because the kids won't eat what she cooks for herself, but they both don't like the same things so she has to prepare a different meal for each of them its crazy, and she also lets them tell her when its bedtime because she doesn't want to deal with the fighting to get them to bed they are 3 and 5 they shouldn't have a choice.

[E Daycare]

Instead of the Star Spangled Banner, this should be our new National Anthem:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A

AHAHAHAHAHAHA that made me laugh so hard! Good one Nan!

[ammama]

I think there are two reasons why kids are the way they are these days.

1. My generation (i'm 28, but I know 40 yr olds who parent this way) feels so entitled to their free time, leisure time, whatever you want to call it that they think that parenting is too much work. Granted, here I am, on my computer while my 2 yr old is asking for more strawberries and i'm telling her to wait.

2. The philosophy that children are born with the instincts and knowledge that they need for themselves to grow up and be happy people is a great excuse to let children run wild. I know a few 'unschoolers' who have taken the philosophy so far that their children choose what/when/how to eat, when/how to sleep, what the rules are ect, because the parents say that the children instinctively know what they need! Bull! Kids don't know what they need! McD's is not healthy food!

[E Daycare]

Right now I have the one kid who "doesnt" eat. Lunch was cheese quesidilla de E (my version), steamed green beans, blue berries, a mix of fruit including mango and watermelon and chopped salad. My son LOVES this lunch and asked for more. Dck just sat there.

But if I mention Id make chocolate Milk the kid would drink that Im sure and nothing else. Tonight's chuckie cheese night for him too (dck). So hes gonna be all for the junk and chaos when he leaves.

Guess I should be happy the parent is taking the kid out am I right?

I guess for me it I know Im fighting an internal battle Ill never win but my kid is the one that will grow up and have to deal with these picky self righteous kids. In school, in work, in general. Its already hard dealing with my generation, my poor kid is going to have a heck of a time . I guess its ME being selfish wanting it to be MY way for him to have it better. hahahaha


me me me me me me me

[SilverSabre25]

Yes this generation drives me nuts and I AM this generation. I turn 29 in two weeks and all my peers are either new parents or are having kids. Some days I want to yell at them and others I remember everyone has their own way.

Just my way is the way. They need to see this LMAO ::::::::JK JK

Ugh, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm this generation, too...(I'm 25). The parenting I see out there drives me so BONKERS. Even my sisters--who are great parents, all things considered, better than most (and they're 10 and 12 years older than me, for perspective)...they miss some things...like teaching their kids how to behave at OTHER people's houses and things like that. My niece and nephew have no trouble walking into my kitchen and begging for the food they see, but I would NEVER have dreamed of doing that at someone else's house, not even a relative I was close to!

[nannyde]

I think there are two reasons why kids are the way they are these days.

1. My generation (i'm 28, but I know 40 yr olds who parent this way) feels so entitled to their free time, leisure time, whatever you want to call it that they think that parenting is too much work. Granted, here I am, on my computer while my 2 yr old is asking for more strawberries and i'm telling her to wait.

2. The philosophy that children are born with the instincts and knowledge that they need for themselves to grow up and be happy people is a great excuse to let children run wild. I know a few 'unschoolers' who have taken the philosophy so far that their children choose what/when/how to eat, when/how to sleep, what the rules are ect, because the parents say that the children instinctively know what they need! Bull! Kids don't know what they need! McD's is not healthy food!

I think I love me some ammama

very simply put cuz it's pretty simple

The philosophy that children are born with the instincts and knowledge that they need for themselves to grow up and be happy people is a great excuse to let children run wild.

Very true but think of this. What other animal with a beating heart does this with their young? It's a survival mistake. It's a survival of our species mistake.

The way you know it is is to look at the health of the species first. These facts aren't made up or opinion.

I was thinking about something I did in the early nineties. I was a school nurse for what was then the biggest school in Iowa. Moulton Elementary. It had 450 kids.

I was on contract year around because this was and still is the poorest elementary school in Iowa. After a couple of years I got to know the families pretty well.

One of my jobs was to do a yearly height and weight on all the kids. I figured out their percentages on the growth charts and sent them home to all 450 kids parents.

The last year I did this I decided to send home notes on the kids who had more than a thirty-five percent difference in percentage between height percentile and weight percentile. The note was just to start a convo with the parents about a concern about under or overweight. I checked with the DSM public school doctor before I sent the notes to ask him... where is the line.. what percentage do you think.. and we settled on 35 percent difference was worthy of a discussion both for under and over.

Out of the 450 kids I only sent 12 notes home for obesity. I remember it clearly because they were twelve pissed off parents who all called me to tell me not to call their kid fat. ::::

That was in 1993. How quickly times have changed. 2.6 percent of the poorest kids were obese with that measure. I think now it would be closer to 30-35 for the same age group.

These were five to twelve year olds who nearly all qualified for free breakfast, lunch, and the church across the street did supper EVERY night Monday thru Friday. But... in those days pizza was a big monthly treat not a breakfast twice a week. Chocolate milk was served ONE day a month... last Friday of the month.

[Blackcat31]

I also think the concern for a child's self esteem has had a huge hand in this change in parenting. Not one single time as a child growing up do I remember either of my parents or any adult in my life giving me directions, rules or punishments ever asked me what I thought or felt about the matter at hand. NOT ONE. Today parents and teachers are directed to explain everything. You rarely hear "Because I said so." anymore.

Schools have eliminated any type of activity where children can or could be separated and thought of as anything but equal yet they are taught that they are all unique too so how can children absorb each message clearly and fully. They can't play competitive sports or any activity where someone could be a loser because what will that child grow up to be if he is a loser in a simple game of dodgeball?! Now we need to expain that every child is a winner and every child is special. If they ask why, we need to expalin that to them as well.

Kids don't have respect because who are they suppose to respect?...the people they are allowed to control (parents, teachers, caregivers). They also do not have rules because if they did it may hurt their self esteem and make them feel bad about themselves so we can't confine them to a set of rules; that is unhealthy for their egos.

IMPO, this new age of parents really just has such low level of self-esteem that they can't possibly bear to have anyone dislike them.....especially their children. Much like growing a backbone, you cannot develop one unless you use it so, I think self esteem is the same way...if you aren't the loser and/or winner a few times in your life, how do you ever figure out who you are or what you are made of?

I appreciate good food because I have been poor enough to not be able to afford it.
I appreciate good friends and family because I know what it is like to be alone.
I appreciate my car because I have had to walk before.
I appreciate good daycare families who pay on time and respect my rules because I have had really bad ones before.

KWIM?

[countrymom]

a mom on another board was asking if her child didn't eat enough. Her child was 2 yrs old and ate oatmeal with applesauce and brown sugar mixed in the oatmeal. She didn't eat lunch because she was sleeping, she drank 5 bottles of milk and the kicker was that for supper she ate babyfood. Oh and mom is a sahm. So everyone on the board is giving her hugs and telling her that she is doing well and her child sounds healthy, and I get on the post and tell her how it is. I just don't understand the need for junk food.

but I'm finding that parents are spending less and less time with their kids, kids are now an inconvience. No one cares anymore. I hate reading parents who complain that their kids are picky eaters or throw up on purpuse and everyone on the forums come running giving hugs.

[DCMom]

I also think the concern for a child's self esteem has had a huge hand in this change in parenting. Not one single time as a child growing up do I remember either of my parents or any adult in my life giving me directions, rules or punishments ever asked me what I thought or felt about the matter at hand. NOT ONE. Today parents and teachers are directed to explain everything. You rarely hear "Because I said so." anymore.

Schools have eliminated any type of activity where children can or could be separated and thought of as anything but equal yet they are taught that they are all unique too so how can children absorb each message clearly and fully. They can't play competitive sports or any activity where someone could be a loser because what will that child grow up to be if he is a loser in a simple game of dodgeball?! Now we need to expain that every child is a winner and every child is special. If they ask why, we need to expalin that to them as well.

Kids don't have respect because who are they suppose to respect?...the people they are allowed to control (parents, teachers, caregivers). They also do not have rules because if they did it may hurt their self esteem and make them feel bad about themselves so we can't confine them to a set of rules; that is unhealthy for their egos.

IMPO, this new age of parents really just has such low level of self-esteem that they can't possibly bear to have anyone dislike them.....especially their children. Much like growing a backbone, you cannot develop one unless you use it so, I think self esteem is the same way...if you aren't the loser and/or winner a few times in your life, how do you ever figure out who you are or what you are made of?

I appreciate good food because I have been poor enough to not be able to afford it.
I appreciate good friends and family because I know what it is like to be alone.
I appreciate my car because I have had to walk before.
I appreciate good daycare families who pay on time and respect my rules because I have had really bad ones before.

KWIM?

Very well said, thank you.

--> applause smiley <--

[QualiTcare]

Of course it is us....LOL!! ::

I mean seriously, people have all kinds of different routines and things in their lives that we find weird, not normal, out of the ordinary, stupid, rude, dumb, or whatever.... It explains why some people have beige houses and others have neon green ones.

I see furniture and clothes and art and music and hair products, toys, houses etc that I think to myself, "I would never do/have/say/wear that! Boy, what were they thinking?" Well, they were thinking that it is what works for them and what THEY like. Some people like country music, some like rock or classical etc etc etc.

We, as child care providers, measure what we think is correct or normal by how well it matches our own parenting ideas and how well things work in our programs. That is really the only time it matters. If we didnt do child care and you saw a mother in a store bribing a child with a lipop, we might think that mom is a bad or lazy mom or we might not, but I guarantee you that you don't really care if she is because it really doesn't effect us so we don't give it more than a passing thought. We surely don't stress about it or try to change the mom's behavior and we definitley don't post about it on message boards looking for advice. !Why? because it doesn't have anything to do with us. We only care when it concerns us......just as the parents do that we have in care. They do what works for them because it only concerns them. We may have plenty of families who respect us and follow our policies and we may even have a few who listen and learn and really apply what they picked up from us to their own parenting styles but in all honesty, at the end of the day, they all still do what works for them.

I have alot of parents who have asked me what I think and for advice because they do know I have the experience/education or whatever and I am glad they asked, but I still think that most parents only change how they see things when it works for them. If it is in the best interest of their child most will comply but still it is because it works for them.

I mean, really, think about it. Educators and nutritionists have been telling us for years how bad TV is for young children and how unhealthy McDonald's is but I haven't seen a decline in TV shows geared toward kids. McDonald's is still on the Fortune 500 list....

Heck, TV shows have started targeting younger and younger children everyday....I just got a notice on my DirectTV bill about a new channel called BabyFirstTV...America's first channel for babies....really? A whole channel for infants, not ABOUT infants; FOR infants!!

Just my thoughts....

i totally agree! i'm sure that you do at least one thing as a parent that i'd find crazy and i probably do something that you would find crazy - and the same goes for every single one of us.

i care about manners, nutrition, routines, etc., but that doesn't mean you won't see me at McDonald's or catch me digging for a quarter for a gumball machine just to get my son to be quiet. nobody is perfect.

everyone wants to feel like they're a good mom and/or the BEST mom. if someone does something differently it doesn't mean that they're wrong bc they don't do it the way that "you" or i would do it, and it doesn't make us better moms than each other IMO. everyone does what works for them. unfortunately, when you keep kids in a daycare, what works for them at their home might not work for "you" in yours which makes it hard on the routine and easier to spot the "flaws."

[ChaserT27]

I agree that everyone has their own parenting styles. However this generation just doesn't want to deal with "parenting" period.
I do see people on the out side doing things that get under my skin and I do think about it. Stress about it nope..maybe post about it on facebook ::

But when these parents that are catering to their 1 yr old come to me when the child is three and out of control..parent beyond frustrated because they can not afford to keep cooking three meals for their child anymore...that is when I get agitated. A client of mine just today has been complaining for 6 months about how she (mom) can not get anything done nor can she do anything right for said child. This parent will keep cooking for her child who is just over two until she can't cook anymore. Then will give up and give her either baby food or junk food. Parent is now in distress because child is no longer part time with me..full time and will not eat lunch. Rule in my house - eat what is given or starve!! This child will eventually get that in my house..but my house only because after countless nights of giving mom advice..she refuses to take it because god forbid her child cries. Today when mom picked up, child grabbed a baby food container out of her diaper bag and wanted it. Mom said when we get home..child stomped her foot and said no now. Mom said honey fine in the car..child said no now and smacked her mother...I explained to mom..I am not going anywhere..(still over an hr to go) feel free to place her in time out right here. Mom refused and left. Sure enough I can see out my window mom gave in and gave child what she wanted.
This is what I am referring to...parents are creating mini monsters and can not figure out WHY they can not get their kids to do what they want them to. When this child becomes a teen..OMG!! I can see it now

Yes nutrition is important..especially in my home. However I am not a nazi to others about it. However baby food at 2 and 3 yrs old...Come on now. Same child was on formula until her 2nd birthday (nope not kidding!!! and no NOT dr orders and NO not in my home. I personally took the child off the bottle etc. when she turned ONE. Mom had a hard time letting go...notice I said mom not the child)

If I was not in the field I am in..would I have the same out look? Absolutely!!!

[nannyde]

I agree that everyone has their own parenting styles. However this generation just doesn't want to deal with "parenting" period.
I do see people on the out side doing things that get under my skin and I do think about it. Stress about it nope..maybe post about it on facebook ::

But when these parents that are catering to their 1 yr old come to me when the child is three and out of control..parent beyond frustrated because they can not afford to keep cooking three meals for their child anymore...that is when I get agitated. A client of mine just today has been complaining for 6 months about how she (mom) can not get anything done nor can she do anything right for said child. This parent will keep cooking for her child who is just over two until she can't cook anymore. Then will give up and give her either baby food or junk food. Parent is now in distress because child is no longer part time with me..full time and will not eat lunch. Rule in my house - eat what is given or starve!! This child will eventually get that in my house..but my house only because after countless nights of giving mom advice..she refuses to take it because god forbid her child cries. Today when mom picked up, child grabbed a baby food container out of her diaper bag and wanted it. Mom said when we get home..child stomped her foot and said no now. Mom said honey fine in the car..child said no now and smacked her mother...I explained to mom..I am not going anywhere..(still over an hr to go) feel free to place her in time out right here. Mom refused and left. Sure enough I can see out my window mom gave in and gave child what she wanted.
This is what I am referring to...parents are creating mini monsters and can not figure out WHY they can not get their kids to do what they want them to. When this child becomes a teen..OMG!! I can see it now

Yes nutrition is important..especially in my home. However I am not a nazi to others about it. However baby food at 2 and 3 yrs old...Come on now. Same child was on formula until her 2nd birthday (nope not kidding!!! and no NOT dr orders and NO not in my home. I personally took the child off the bottle etc. when she turned ONE. Mom had a hard time letting go...notice I said mom not the child)

If I was not in the field I am in..would I have the same out look? Absolutely!!!

"after countless nights of giving mom advice..she refuses to take it because god forbid her child cries.

That's the money shot.

It is a very sad story but a very common scenario.