Do You Ever Wonder That Maybe It IS You And Not Them?

[E Daycare]

You know, I look at us providers as people with more than the average experience with children. More so because we've either had our own children, worked with children and/or have child education. With that being said, for those parents with whom we are always incredulous over, do you ever wonder maybe its just ME??

I do.

The day to day interactions with the parents in my life (minus a few) really just make me shake my head and kinda blink. Whether its via real life, via facebook or just from reading on here or watching what goes on in the news, this stuff has become the "norm" of parenting. How come to us its not but to the outsiders it is? I worked in childcare 5yrs before I did my last marketing job from '06-'10. I didnt have my own child yet and still I felt like I was doing more than the parent AND I was younger than most parents too! Now I have my own son and ventured back into child care in the home setting I still feel the same way. Nothing has changed in the 5yrs I was away from daycare. Parents seemed to get lazier and lazier. Lately Ive dealt with:

The dcf I booted because of inconsistent EVERYTHING. Come one people, dont you want a scheduled life where your child gets the proper rest and nutrition they need and thrive on? Apparently no, its easier to just hope the kid gets on my schedule and not bother doing anything else to get the kid up to par.

One current dck whos almost 2 and constantly comes in with a bottle full of chocolate milk or nutter butters in the am because "little johnny wouldnt leave with out the bag of cookies/fruit snacks/bandaids all over himself". Funny cause he gets in the car great for me and if not hes kicking screaming and the radio goes up louder. This same dck is now on pedisure via mom because he "wont eat". No he doesnt eat REAL food of course. He does love him some snacks though. You even mention part of the word sna.... and hes all like NAK NAK NAK. This same mother took him to mcdonalds the other day so he could have some chicken nuggets and fries because she said its "better then no calories".

Im surprised Im not bald from pulling my hair out.

Another play date mom brings her 2.5yr old over and talks about how his morning bottle is the last one to get rid of and its so hard cause he just loves it and they need to move again in like 6 months and she doesnt want the move to delay the weaning. I had to finally tell her "yeah the last one is hard but there is no way its going to take 6 MONTHS to wean him off that bottle. DS was off his at 1yr in 3 weeks. ALL of them". Then she goes and tells me shes ready to potty train him because shes tired of changing diapers and wetting thru them in the middle of the night. Yeah, sounds like the kid is ready for potty training believe me. I mentioned that even veteran kids sometimes still need to wear pullups or good nights at night because they go so long with getting up that they have more frequent accidents. So this wont really fix her overnight changing issues. Maybe cutting out water after 7? She has a hard time though because the kids bed time is 10p and hes up at 10 so he stays up longer and is thirsty longer. He also sleeps from 2pm till 6 or 7pm at night than gets up to eat dinner at 8.

Not my ideal schedule of course but Im not the parent.

One stay at home mom has her 2yr old in daycare and stays home with her littlest one. How she duped her hubby to putting her kid in daycare so she only had to take care of one of her offspring is beyond me because if I said that to my husband he'd be like "what the heck are you a stay at mom for if you send a kid to daycare?!". This continues to blow my mind. I knew her personally so I know she really wanted the second kid to keep from having to get another job to help pay bills. So its more of the she loves the "Im pregnant" and "I have a newborn, look!" attention. Once that wears off she will put that one in care and pop out another one.

Sometimes I wish I was just as duh. Maybe to other parents I am but for the most part I feel like I can adequately raise a respectable human being that knows his manners, was encouraged to meet his milestones on time for HIS well being and not because "Im tired of changing diapers", one that eats good for him food and can do his own laundry ( :. Everyone here is on the same page.

How is it just us and not them? Maybe it IS us huh?

LMAO

[Zoe]

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the minority as well. I don't feed my kids organic food or anything, but I do limit their sugar intake and I rarely serve chocolate milk. My kids DO NOT talk back to me, it is not tolerated here. I expect them to treat their friends nicely and follow the rules of the house that they are in.

My best friend however, lets her kids determine their bedtime, thus they finally konk out on the couch around midnight. If she wants to go to bed earlier than that then she puts them in her bed with her because "they won't go to sleep in their own beds". Well I've babysat her children and I got them to bed at 9pm with jammies in their own beds. NO problem.

I just don't get it! The 5 year old still drinks from a sippy cup. The 3 yo pushes my son down constantly with no consequences.

And this type of parenting is becoming so typical. Yes, it does make me wonder why I'm so "strict".

Don't think it's going to make me change my tune though.

[morgan24]

I think that this is a growing trend of typical parenting. This upcoming generation is going to be the "Because it's easier" If I had a nickel for every time I have heard that in the last 10 years I could of retired 5 years ago. It gets worst with each new dck.

[MsMe]

I have had a home daycare for 7 years but have no children of my own and sometimes feel bad when I (like you in the past) think to myself "Wow I would never so that"

My Mother was strict when I was growing up and with a 13 yr age difference between me my youngest younger brother coupled with a severe peanut allergy he has a completly differetn mother than I have growing up. I drives me nuts to see the things he gets away with that I would have never even dreamed of doing. I have called her out on it for the last few years and she can't seem to stop herself.

Many parents today (liek my mother now) are scared to hurt their childs feelings or make them sad (she certainly had no trouble with this when I was a child)

If even a "good" Mother can turn into a "lazy" parent I am worried there maybe no hope at all for some parents!

[missnikki]

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the minority as well. I don't feed my kids organic food or anything, but I do limit their sugar intake and I rarely serve chocolate milk. My kids DO NOT talk back to me, it is not tolerated here. I expect them to treat their friends nicely and follow the rules of the house that they are in.

My best friend however, lets her kids determine their bedtime, thus they finally konk out on the couch around midnight. If she wants to go to bed earlier than that then she puts them in her bed with her because "they won't go to sleep in their own beds". Well I've babysat her children and I got them to bed at 9pm with jammies in their own beds. NO problem.

I just don't get it! The 5 year old still drinks from a sippy cup. The 3 yo pushes my son down constantly with no consequences.

And this type of parenting is becoming so typical. Yes, it does make me wonder why I'm so "strict".

Don't think it's going to make me change my tune though.

Did I write this?!? Seriously, right?

I have school age kids, and they are giant overgrown toddlers who cannot tie their own shoes -I have a 2nd grader who can't (won't), a few of them can't (won't) try to open their own applesauce or fruit cup at lunch (don't get me started on the food quality from home issue ), and the multitude of kids up to about 3rd grade who 'need help' reading their homework the second it comes out of their folder, until I say "Ok, let's see- what does this say?" and surprise! They can read! But these parents don't let them try to do it on their own. They read it to them because it's a math word problem and don't realize that reading it themselves is half the problem...Sorry, rant...

[ChaserT27]

Oh I am SOOO on noard with this one!!!

I have parents who have a two yr old still on baby food and just recently off the bottle. Baby food for when she does not want the third different meal cooked for her. Same child does not go to bed at a decent hour because Mom and Dad can not let her cry. They are late for work every day because so and so wanted mac n cheese (at 8 AM really???)
Another child (second for parent, apparently has not learned from first) still on bottle with pacifier. Then feels bad and consoles the child when I take them away before she is in my door.
Another nearly choked on a pacifier (hence my rule..you have teeth..no pacifier in my home) yet at 3..still has one :0(

I have had the 7 AM drop offs with chocolate chip cookies and become upset when I explain it is in my policy NO food or drink in child's hand at drop off.

I have the parents that BEG for advice..but never take it

And the "I think I am a good mom" who can barely last the hr and a half she has with them each night. Complains about how rough it is to spend this small amount of time with a clingy child.

And do not even get me started on my 17 year old's friend's parents....OMG!!!!

So yes..I do sit back and say..Am I the only one that wants my children (and DCK) to have values, good nutrition, nurturing and a sense of what is right and what is wrong...better yet..am I the only one that has children to care for them and see them become independent and successful adults..not to just let them be and hope for the best!....:0)

[sharlan]

What is that movement that allows children to make all of their own decisions?

[3kidzmama]

In my opinion, this decline in "parenting" is largely due to the selfishness of our society. Every generation gets more and more "me" centered. It's whatever makes their life easier. If it's too hard to raise their child right, it's not gonna happen. It's easier for them to overlook behaviors and feed their kids fast food junk than to discipline and cook good healthy meals.

[missnikki]

What is that movement that allows children to make all of their own decisions?

Politics. Oops, did I say that out loud?

[3kidzmama]

What is that movement that allows children to make all of their own decisions?

Stupidity???::::::::

[ChaserT27]

Stupidity???::::::::

LOL ::

[Blackcat31]

Of course it is us....LOL!! ::

I mean seriously, people have all kinds of different routines and things in their lives that we find weird, not normal, out of the ordinary, stupid, rude, dumb, or whatever.... It explains why some people have beige houses and others have neon green ones.

I see furniture and clothes and art and music and hair products, toys, houses etc that I think to myself, "I would never do/have/say/wear that! Boy, what were they thinking?" Well, they were thinking that it is what works for them and what THEY like. Some people like country music, some like rock or classical etc etc etc.

We, as child care providers, measure what we think is correct or normal by how well it matches our own parenting ideas and how well things work in our programs. That is really the only time it matters. If we didnt do child care and you saw a mother in a store bribing a child with a lipop, we might think that mom is a bad or lazy mom or we might not, but I guarantee you that you don't really care if she is because it really doesn't effect us so we don't give it more than a passing thought. We surely don't stress about it or try to change the mom's behavior and we definitley don't post about it on message boards looking for advice. !

Why? because it doesn't have anything to do with us. We only care when it concerns us......just as the parents do that we have in care. They do what works for them because it only concerns them. We may have plenty of families who respect us and follow our policies and we may even have a few who listen and learn and really apply what they picked up from us to their own parenting styles but in all honesty, at the end of the day, they all still do what works for them.

I have alot of parents who have asked me what I think and for advice because they do know I have the experience/education or whatever and I am glad they asked, but I still think that most parents only change how they see things when it works for them. If it is in the best interest of their child most will comply but still it is because it works for them.

I mean, really, think about it. Educators and nutritionists have been telling us for years how bad TV is for young children and how unhealthy McDonald's is but I haven't seen a decline in TV shows geared toward kids. McDonald's is still on the Fortune 500 list....

Heck, TV shows have started targeting younger and younger children everyday....I just got a notice on my DirectTV bill about a new channel called BabyFirstTV...America's first channel for babies....really? A whole channel for infants, not ABOUT infants; FOR infants!!

Just my thoughts....

[DCMom]

Politics. Oops, did I say that out loud?

:: Had to go there, didn't ya?? ::

After 22 years of childcare, I honestly don't know how much longer I can do it because the parenting style of today is so different from my own philosophy. Do I go along to get along as they say or stick to my guns and be in constant conflict with one or more of my clients?

The last few interviews I have had have been just a disaster; nice enough people but I just know I would end up terminating them because the bugged the hell-o out of me. When they call back for the second interview I just tell them that it isn't a good fit, but what if someone who is a 'good fit' doesn't come along?

So yeah. I think it is me and that's ok.

[nannyde]

Of course it is us....LOL!! ::

I mean seriously, people have all kinds of different routines and things in their lives that we find weird, not normal, out of the ordinary, stupid, rude, dumb, or whatever.... It explains why some people have beige houses and others have neon green ones.

I see furniture and clothes and art and music and hair products, toys, houses etc that I think to myself, "I would never do/have/say/wear that! Boy, what were they thinking?" Well, they were thinking that it is what works for them and what THEY like. Some people like country music, some like rock or classical etc etc etc.

We, as child care providers, measure what we think is correct or normal by how well it matches our own parenting ideas and how well things work in our programs. That is really the only time it matters. If we didnt do child care and you saw a mother in a store bribing a child with a lipop, we might think that mom is a bad or lazy mom or we might not, but I guarantee you that you don't really care if she is because it really doesn't effect us so we don't give it more than a passing thought. We surely don't stress about it or try to change the mom's behavior and we definitley don't post about it on message boards looking for advice. !

Why? because it doesn't have anything to do with us. We only care when it concerns us......just as the parents do that we have in care. They do what works for them because it only concerns them. We may have plenty of families who respect us and follow our policies and we may even have a few who listen and learn and really apply what they picked up from us to their own parenting styles but in all honesty, at the end of the day, they all still do what works for them.

I have alot of parents who have asked me what I think and for advice because they do know I have the experience/education or whatever and I am glad they asked, but I still think that most parents only change how they see things when it works for them. If it is in the best interest of their child most will comply but still it is because it works for them.

I mean, really, think about it. Educators and nutritionists have been telling us for years how bad TV is for young children and how unhealthy McDonald's is but I haven't seen a decline in TV shows geared toward kids. McDonald's is still on the Fortune 500 list....

Heck, TV shows have started targeting younger and younger children everyday....I just got a notice on my DirectTV bill about a new channel called BabyFirstTV...America's first channel for babies....really? A whole channel for infants, not ABOUT infants; FOR infants!!

Just my thoughts....

Baby TV

Wowie zops

I'm more interested in the commercials than the programming.

[nannyde]

Instead of the Star Spangled Banner, this should be our new National Anthem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A