How Long Is Ok To Let A 5 Month Old Cry?

[MamaBear]

So I started this new baby yesterday. Hes 5 months old. Yesterday he was fussy but I thought maybe because new environment. He fusses all the time. Even if I'm holding him at times. His mom tells me at pick up yesterday that he is very spoiled at home and that they hold him ALL the time. ARGHHH!
She said she didnt mind if I let him cry because she knows I cant hold him all the time. Yesterday I held him quite a bit, but it really wore me out.

Right now i have him in a nap room where he slept for about 5 minutes and now hes crying. Its been about 3 minutes of crying now. How long should I let him cry or is he too young to learn this yet? I can tell they never let him just soothe himself. Very frustrating for me when I cant make him happy. :confused:

[laundrymom]

I don't know what to tell you to do. I can tell you I would feed, change, burp, then lay him down, go back and burp in 5 min. Lay him down. Go back in 6 min lay down. Then 7 min or so repeat until it's time for food or diaper. He will soon realize that you are coming back. I wouldn't pick up for every whimper tho. He needs to learn to self sooth. Just my opinion. Also I keep them in the room with me. If the kids fuss I just tell them, yep you did it too. It will pass it should in a few days. :-) good luck.

[youretooloud]

I never let them cry over five minutes unless I have something going on and I can't stop to pick him up. It stresses me out to let them cry.

[dEHmom]

you can tell by his cry at what stage he is in. if he is screaming bloody murder for 10 mins or so, then something needs to be done. if it's just a come and pay attention to me cry, then let it go 20 mins or so. if it seems like he is calming down, then i just let them, but i always pay close attention to see what type of cry, and make sure nothing is wrong.
they learn quickly 1 of 2 things...
1) if i cry long enough, i get what i want
2) if i cry, i won't get what i want, so i'll sleep instead

[countrymom]

does he have a routine. I remember my kids having 2 naps in the morning and one in the afternoon, maybe if he has a routine he wouldn't be so fussy.

[KEG123]

I never let them cry over five minutes unless I have something going on and I can't stop to pick him up. It stresses me out to let them cry.

Same here. I cannot tolerate a crying baby, it stresses me out to the max. So I always pick them up if shushing/talking to them will not do. When my own son was little he NEVER cried because I never let him get to that point. With daycare kids, I couldn't imagine them crying for longer than 10 minutes and only if I was preoccupied and I could not get to them at that exact moment.

[MamaBear]

8 minutes of crying & hes asleep... ahhh

He finally fell asleep after crying for 8 minutes. His mom does not have him on any type of routine. She said she rocks him to sleep and he naps randomly. I HAVE to have a routine so that I can have some sanity time. So I'm trying to get him to do at least an hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. It worked yesterday --- He did a 9am-10am or so and then 2 hr in the afternoon from 1pm-3pm approximately.

I ended up calling the mom because I needed to know if she had any advice to make him happy. He was just so fussy that I was afraid he didnt feel well. She tells me that hes teething of course. Well I expected that answer but that might be what it is. She said she didnt mind me giving him a schedule and letting him cry (up to 10 minutes). So thats what I tried and it worked.

Its weird how I've dealt with so many infants but forget every time I start again how to deal with the crying!! The crying just stresses me out too much and I want them to be happy. Its hard to let them cry it out but I guess its worth it.

I hope he gets used to this schedule quickly. I wish the mom would put him on a similar schedule at home. And wish she would stop rocking him to sleep!! /

[DaisyMamma]

I don't like crying babies, it is stressful, but its more stressful to have a spoiled infant. I say go with the 5 min 6 min 7 min crying. You have to get him used to not being held all day long.

[Symphony]

Same here. I cannot tolerate a crying baby, it stresses me out to the max. So I always pick them up if shushing/talking to them will not do. When my own son was little he NEVER cried because I never let him get to that point. With daycare kids, I couldn't imagine them crying for longer than 10 minutes and only if I was preoccupied and I could not get to them at that exact moment.

Same three! I have it in my policy manual that I do not let children cry it out, and it is actually against my licensing regs too. We are required to tend to every cry in my state

[nannyde]

Same three! I have it in my policy manual that I do not let children cry it out, and it is actually against my licensing regs too. We are required to tend to every cry in my state

that's in your state regs?????????????????

what state may I ask?

[Live and Learn]

I would start the cry it out at 6 months.

At five months I would be giving lots and lots and lots of tummy time to wear them out and I wouldn't pick them up the moment they started fussing.

At five months they need to start learning to sooth themselves a little bit when they get put down to bed or put down for tummy time.

Good luck.

[littlemissmuffet]

Same three! I have it in my policy manual that I do not let children cry it out, and it is actually against my licensing regs too. We are required to tend to every cry in my state

Oh no! If I lived where you live... I most definitely wouldn't be in the business of childcare any longer!!!!!!!! ::

[MamaBear]

Hes gotten so much better

The 5 month old is so much better on day 4 today. His mom admitted to me that he has absolutely no schedule and she picks him up and holds him at the slightest whimper. We talked about both of us kinda working together to get him able to soothe himself a little more. I still hold him a lot (because hes so darn cute) haha - but when hes fed, dry, and tired and wont stop fussing, I lay him down in his bed and he is falling asleep minutes later now! It only took a few days and he got it down. I'm soooo relieved that hes getting it. He still fusses a bit here and there during the day but I've noticed that I dont need to pick him up every time. If I let him whimper a little, he gets over it quickly and is back to cooing. Hes so freakin cute.

Anyway - thanks everyone for your advice His first couple days were a doozie!