Working For A Family Of Another Culture...

[wdmmom]

I'll play devil's advocate:

1: Are you going to charge a deposit for the children who get sick say from a virus? All children get sick, yes not to the extent of this child, but he can't help it.

2: What happens if this family claims discrimination? You are charging extra just because it is to clean up when the child gets sick.

3: This is your best option

4: With all due respect, IMO I do not agree with charging a parent just because you have to take time to feed him yourself regardless of what is served.

5: If you feel uncomfortable with this family, this maybe your second best option.

Why would I charge a deposit for a virus? The deposit is for cleaning, replacing equipment that is constantly getting puked on and for any damages associated with him vomiting.

This family won't claim discrimination...I knew the family about a year before I began working for them. And, yes...when there is vomit in 3 different areas of the home that require extensive cleaning, I WILL charge more!!! It's no different than hiring a cleaning lady that says she will do ABC and XYZ as part of the fee but if you have her go cleaning out the refrigerator, she's going to charge you more. More work= More money. It wouldn't be any different than a person going off to a job and working 10 hour days but getting paid for 8. Are they going to continue to do it without being compensated...I HIGHLY DOUBT IT!

As for the doctor...DCD says he'll take DCB but no appointment has been set and when I bring it up, I get a "Oh, I will...I will." But no follow through.
OH AND FYI...I have called this family numerous times and told them to pick up DCB because of vomit and they have blatantly refused. They say vomit is normal and if he doesn't have a fever, he'll be fine.

That is your opinion but if you are charging a child a toddler rate but the time and effort being spent on him is that of an infant, (IMHO) I should be compensated. No different than an employer saying your work is $20 an hour quality but only paying you for $10!

I'm not at all "uncomfortable" as you call it. I just want to be compensated for any damages, additional cleaning, and I don't want my property to get damaged. I'm just like any other homeowner: I work hard for what I have and want to keep it that way! If DCD wants to take him to the doctor to get a diagnosis so I know what I'm working with, than perhaps I'll keep the rate the same. If DCD isn't going to do his part, I will charge the infant rate and they can stay and pay or they can go. Either way it's no skin off my back.

[countrymom]

first you are in charge and not the parent. Since the dad doesn't bring him to the dr's then you need to refuse him at the door. I just don't understand why you keep letting him come back into your house and continue puking, that is your fault not he parents.
second, charging him a fee because you have to feed him, are you kidding me, I have never ever heard of something so wrong. Why can't you place the food infront of him and let him pick at it while you are getting everyone their lunch. Teach him how to eat with a utensils.
now the cleaning fee, thats your fault for allowing a child who is puking everyday in your home.
as for them not picking their child up when he's sick, you need to give them a choice, either you start and charge extra from the time you call them or tell them you will call cas for child abandonment. If I had a child in your home and this crazy puking was going on, not only would I extremely upset but I would report you to licensor. You are put other children at risk, because you don't know what is wrong with the child.

oh, I let a child go about 2 months ago because since dec. (when he came to my house) he had such a horrible cough that not only made the other children very ill, but made myself, my sister and her dd ill. I had to tell dad that he needed to be seen by a dr before he was allowed back, its now been over 2 months and the child is still ill, apparently he has something and the dad won't say what he has. (I take the sister off the bus but she's never been sick thats why I watch her)

[nannyde]

first you are in charge and not the parent. Since the dad doesn't bring him to the dr's then you need to refuse him at the door. I just don't understand why you keep letting him come back into your house and continue puking, that is your fault not he parents.
second, charging him a fee because you have to feed him, are you kidding me, I have never ever heard of something so wrong. Why can't you place the food infront of him and let him pick at it while you are getting everyone their lunch. Teach him how to eat with a utensils.
now the cleaning fee, thats your fault for allowing a child who is puking everyday in your home.
as for them not picking their child up when he's sick, you need to give them a choice, either you start and charge extra from the time you call them or tell them you will call cas for child abandonment. If I had a child in your home and this crazy puking was going on, not only would I extremely upset but I would report you to licensor. You are put other children at risk, because you don't know what is wrong with the child.

oh, I let a child go about 2 months ago because since dec. (when he came to my house) he had such a horrible cough that not only made the other children very ill, but made myself, my sister and her dd ill. I had to tell dad that he needed to be seen by a dr before he was allowed back, its now been over 2 months and the child is still ill, apparently he has something and the dad won't say what he has. (I take the sister off the bus but she's never been sick thats why I watch her)

Easy there country.

She's been at this two years. She's still learning the ropes. She also lives in a VERY expensive house that she has done very extensive remodeling for for her business. Everything is NEW. You know how you feel when you get new? You want to protect your new cuz it was hard work and treasury that got that new. She has a right to be concerned about her property.

Her fee decrease IS because the child ages and becomes more independent. Hand feeding him meals is TIME. She has a staff assistant so it's not funny money time... it's real money time.

We have ALL had kids who won't spoon feed themselves. It's a learning process to TEACH them how to do it. She has to learn this herself.

She's coming here to get some help and advise. That's good.

[morgan24]

I had a baby that vomited everything she ate and it took about 6 months for the doctors to find her problem. The flap that closed her stomach off after she ate wouldn't close all the way and as soon as she moved she would bring up everything she ate. They had to do surgery to fix it and she didn't have any problems after that. My granddaughter has always had a bad gag reflex, she started to see a chiropractor for allergies and since she has been getting a monthly adjustment she has had a problem with either. Even the dentist made a comment about how its gone now. Maybe you could suggest that to the parents.

I think you have gone above and beyond what is expected of you to take care of dcb. If the parents of dcb aren't willing to take him to the doctor to see if he has a medical problem, I would give them the choice to either take him to the doctor or find other care.

[wdmmom]

Let me set this straight as well:

This child is NOT puking all day everyday. In fact, there is the rare occasion he has the (what I call "puke burp") where just a little dribbles out of his mouth and about once a week he has full fledged vomit sessions that usually are in the high chair or in the pack and play at nap time.

He coughs, he throws up. I realize he can't control it but licensing, putting other kids at risk...give me a break. Isn't that what daycare is...you are always putting your child at risk of getting sick by someone else. We aren't doctors but we have instincts. Instincts don't pay the bills.

My best bet is to talk to the family and tell DCD that DCB NEEDS a diagnosis...not a "nothing is wrong or doctor says he's fine" is going to fly. I am also going to put a clause in there (thanks to another poster) that he gets sick, he goes home.

Guess what it comes down to is that I'm going to have to play hard ball and lay it out in writing for these parents to see. If ABC happens, XYZ WILL follow.

Thanks for all the advice everyone!

[MN Day Mom]

As for the doctor...DCD says he'll take DCB but no appointment has been set and when I bring it up, I get a "Oh, I will...I will." But no follow through.
OH AND FYI...I have called this family numerous times and told them to pick up DCB because of vomit and they have blatantly refused. They say vomit is normal and if he doesn't have a fever, he'll be fine.

I would tell them that refusal is not an option. Come pick up your child and he cannot return until he has in hand a doctors note stating the cause and treatment for the childs vomiting. Daily vomit is not normal!!!

[wdmmom]

I would tell them that refusal is not an option. Come pick up your child and he cannot return until he has in hand a doctors note stating the cause and treatment for the childs vomiting. Daily vomit is not normal!!!

You and I both know this. That's why I came here. I'm trying to get it to stop without much help from the parents.

The other part of this problem: DCD is bring the cuisine so blended it is more liquidy than stage 1 baby food! This kid can eat lipops (not at daycare of course!) and goldfish and cheerios but will NOT pick food and feed himself and won't eat anything chunky.

BREAKTHROUGH: Yesterday DCD brought some cuisine that looked like egg whites in watery pudding and the smell was just awful. I game him a Stage 3 jar of Chicken and vegetables and he ate all but 2 bites...chunks and all!

We are having macaroni and cheese today and I'm going to offer some to him.

I think he needs to start feeding himself and if they want to spoon feed him their meals, they can do it on their time. I only have him 5-7 hours a day, he manages to eat snack everyday without a problem, time to tackle lunch time!

[countrymom]

did he end up getting sick when you fed him the baby food, I have a feeling it has to do with what they are eating. Tell dad from now on that you will supply the food. If he brings you stuff send it back home. This way, you know what he is eating, you know that it is healthy (this is why I make lunches otherwise I would have kids bringing chicken nuggets and lunchables everyday) and when he starts to see the other kids eating with utensils he may too. Try buying cartoon utensils, my kids all fight over the dora ones. Sorry to be hard on you but sometimes the answers are staring you right in your face. kwim.

[wdmmom]

Yes, I understand. Like Nannyde said, I'm still pretty new to the whole scheme of things.

He did not throw up when I fed him baby food. I think it has a lot to do with nutritional factor and the fact that I limit how much I give him. DCP's have this notion that their baby should be chunky and pudgy but he's Vietnamese and the parents are small themselves! This child isn't going to get chunky...especially when he vomits.

(And when it smells awful in refrigerated form, can you imagine what it smells like coming back ?!) That's why it takes SOOO long to clean up!!!