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Nanny with ALL due respect...what kind of parents (clients) do you have? They let you rule over EVERY single aspect of their child. From laundry soap to not being allowed in the play room in which their child is all day to not even having any communication with your assistant? Of course I do not blame you. I blame the parents for allowing such control.
But if I had a paid assistant and she decided to leave and took some of my kids with her...I may not like losing the income temporarily...but she has as much right to open a day care as the next person.
Not me. I would be very upset. I don't hire my staff assistant to do any parent contact or conferencing. I don't want to mix my parents with my employee. My current staff assistant has been here for two years and hasn't spent five minutes TOTAL with any of my clients other than meeting them at the interviews.
Back to the topic: When I was about to leave my former center after 17 and half years, I informed the special parents verbally that I grew close to that I was leaving. A few even cried. A week before I was to leave, I posted a letter to all the parents on the front door. My former director also posted a beautiful letter celebrating my time there and to wish me the best of luck. I still have it
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I did sign a non-competition clause with the daycare center I worked at before my son was born. It basically stated I couldn't open up a daycare center within 5 miles of their center for 1 year after I left.
Otherwise, it stated nothing about contact with the parent after leaving. I still have several parents on my facebook as friends. I think I would have side-eyed it a little to be told who I couldn't have contact with. The non-competition clause stopped me from taking kids away from them anyway.
But that being said, babysitting outside of center hours was encouraged. Even after I quit, according to the clause's guidelines, I could babysit any of those kids after hours or on the weekend. It only specifically avoided direct competition.
Just check with your center for what the rules are. I gave my parents notice at both centers I worked at, so I gave them the option of asking for information if they were interested. That's actually when one of them asked to be my friend on facebook.
Hope that helps!Comment
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i didn't read all of the posts. i will just say this..
i wouldn't give out my phone number to the kids. if you are close with the parents and you want to stay in touch, i don't see anything wrong with giving them your email or telling them you're on facebook or something like that.
i wouldn't tell the kids you are leaving until the last week. they don't have a good concept of time. they need to be warned, but not prematurely. KIDS ARE VERY RESILIENT! not to hurt your feelings, but they won't care a couple weeks later.Comment
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non compete clauses rarely hold any weight. i worked for a place once where i had to sign one saying i wouldn't work for a competitor for a year after terminating my employment. i really didn't plan to, but just out of curiosity i checked into the validity of it. i was told they couldn't do anything if it were to happen bc of something like they can't stop you from being able to provide for yourself and/or family - basically.
it's not like a daycare provider who leaves a daycare and opens up her own place is selling secrets of the trade that only that center had. that's different. we're not talking about a cook at KFC giving the "secret recipe" to Popeye's. THAT would be illegal. however, a cook at KFC telling customers he was going to work at Popeye's and those customers started going to Popeye's and quit going to KFC - nothing they could do about it. it's free will.Comment
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Parent who have the wisdome to know this is a really really good deal here. Parents who stay for their child's whole early childhood. Parents who pay the big bucks to do this great deal. Parents who don't want other childrens parents visiting their kid when they are in day care.
The laundry soap is a scent allergy issue. They don't want to incapacitate me so I can't provide care THAT day. They want me to work.
The no parents in the playroom is to visit the OTHER kids. They are welcome to come into my second playroom and visit their little one as long as they wish.
The no communication with my staff assistant: She works for ME. The parents contract with ME.
Remember I'm not required to HAVE a staff assistant. She is an extra person here. I can run the daycare completely by myself without any additional help. Also when I hire my staff assistant I explain completely to them that I do not have them do ANY parent contact or conferencing. This is fully discussed and the interview stops if it is a role the assistant would like to have in her new job. The staff assistant AGREES as part of the hiring process that she will not have this in her duties. She meets the parents when they interview but is not a part of the interview process. She sees the parents at departure but she is not a part of the conferencing at arrivals and departures. She ALREADY KNOWS before she starts that this is a part of the job and gladly takes it. Most peopel dont' want to deal with the parents anyway. They would rather someone else do it.
The staff assistant could leave tomorrow and another one could come. Within a few weeks the new one will care for the kids in an identical way to the way she cares for the kids. I train staff to do MY system. Until they DO my system I'm with them constantly. Doesn't matter what staff assistant is here... they are the do the same year after year after year. When my last staff assistant moved on her replacement was already here and working. It was about three months before the parents even asked about the one before and she was here for 2.5 years at that time and a total of 7.5 years in her total years here. Having a new staff assistant doesn't affect the kids care in ANY way. There's no point in having the staff assistant have relationships or communication with the parents. Nothing good can come of it. You can end up even or have problems ... but you can't gain anything from it.
Nearly 18 years of having a staff assistant and I haven't had a single solitary problem between my staff and my parents. I break even on this system... and that's the best I can do. I'll take that.
The other thing is that I keep staff a really long time. They look at this as an education. They get hands on training from me and paid well to do it. They like the education that comes with this job. When they leave they are ready to run their own home day care or have children of their own. This is a really good way to learn about kids and the business of child care. It's a "get paid while you get schooled" deal.Comment
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i don't know why i even read that, but i have to say, after reading - it sounds like you're afraid the assistant might say something "wrong" that you don't want the parents to hear. it's just weird. i can't think of any other reason - it's just the impression i get.Parent who have the wisdome to know this is a really really good deal here. Parents who stay for their child's whole early childhood. Parents who pay the big bucks to do this great deal. Parents who don't want other childrens parents visiting their kid when they are in day care.
The laundry soap is a scent allergy issue. They don't want to incapacitate me so I can't provide care THAT day. They want me to work.
The no parents in the playroom is to visit the OTHER kids. They are welcome to come into my second playroom and visit their little one as long as they wish.
The no communication with my staff assistant: She works for ME. The parents contract with ME.
Remember I'm not required to HAVE a staff assistant. She is an extra person here. I can run the daycare completely by myself without any additional help. Also when I hire my staff assistant I explain completely to them that I do not have them do ANY parent contact or conferencing. This is fully discussed and the interview stops if it is a role the assistant would like to have in her new job. The staff assistant AGREES as part of the hiring process that she will not have this in her duties. She meets the parents when they interview but is not a part of the interview process. She sees the parents at departure but she is not a part of the conferencing at arrivals and departures. She ALREADY KNOWS before she starts that this is a part of the job and gladly takes it. Most peopel dont' want to deal with the parents anyway. They would rather someone else do it.
The staff assistant could leave tomorrow and another one could come. Within a few weeks the new one will care for the kids in an identical way to the way she cares for the kids. I train staff to do MY system. Until they DO my system I'm with them constantly. Doesn't matter what staff assistant is here... they are the do the same year after year after year. When my last staff assistant moved on her replacement was already here and working. It was about three months before the parents even asked about the one before and she was here for 2.5 years at that time and a total of 7.5 years in her total years here. Having a new staff assistant doesn't affect the kids care in ANY way. There's no point in having the staff assistant have relationships or communication with the parents. Nothing good can come of it. You can end up even or have problems ... but you can't gain anything from it.
Nearly 18 years of having a staff assistant and I haven't had a single solitary problem between my staff and my parents. I break even on this system... and that's the best I can do. I'll take that.
The other thing is that I keep staff a really long time. They look at this as an education. They get hands on training from me and paid well to do it. They like the education that comes with this job. When they leave they are ready to run their own home day care or have children of their own. This is a really good way to learn about kids and the business of child care. It's a "get paid while you get schooled" deal.
whateva.Comment
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Yes saying something wrong is one of the reasons.
Not so much what they shouldn't hear but how they should hear it. That's my job. I have a communication style with the parents that is VERY laid back and comes from 30 years of practice. A staff assistant couldn't communicate with them at that level.
I'm not in partnership with the staff assistant. If they were my partner I would feel completely differently about it. Their salary doesn't change when kids come and go. Mine does.
That's reason enough.Comment
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They may have the training to open their own day care after they leave you.....but do you make them sign that they won't?Parent who have the wisdome to know this is a really really good deal here. Parents who stay for their child's whole early childhood. Parents who pay the big bucks to do this great deal. Parents who don't want other childrens parents visiting their kid when they are in day care.
The laundry soap is a scent allergy issue. They don't want to incapacitate me so I can't provide care THAT day. They want me to work.
The no parents in the playroom is to visit the OTHER kids. They are welcome to come into my second playroom and visit their little one as long as they wish.
The no communication with my staff assistant: She works for ME. The parents contract with ME.
Remember I'm not required to HAVE a staff assistant. She is an extra person here. I can run the daycare completely by myself without any additional help. Also when I hire my staff assistant I explain completely to them that I do not have them do ANY parent contact or conferencing. This is fully discussed and the interview stops if it is a role the assistant would like to have in her new job. The staff assistant AGREES as part of the hiring process that she will not have this in her duties. She meets the parents when they interview but is not a part of the interview process. She sees the parents at departure but she is not a part of the conferencing at arrivals and departures. She ALREADY KNOWS before she starts that this is a part of the job and gladly takes it. Most peopel dont' want to deal with the parents anyway. They would rather someone else do it.
The staff assistant could leave tomorrow and another one could come. Within a few weeks the new one will care for the kids in an identical way to the way she cares for the kids. I train staff to do MY system. Until they DO my system I'm with them constantly. Doesn't matter what staff assistant is here... they are the do the same year after year after year. When my last staff assistant moved on her replacement was already here and working. It was about three months before the parents even asked about the one before and she was here for 2.5 years at that time and a total of 7.5 years in her total years here. Having a new staff assistant doesn't affect the kids care in ANY way. There's no point in having the staff assistant have relationships or communication with the parents. Nothing good can come of it. You can end up even or have problems ... but you can't gain anything from it.
Nearly 18 years of having a staff assistant and I haven't had a single solitary problem between my staff and my parents. I break even on this system... and that's the best I can do. I'll take that.
The other thing is that I keep staff a really long time. They look at this as an education. They get hands on training from me and paid well to do it. They like the education that comes with this job. When they leave they are ready to run their own home day care or have children of their own. This is a really good way to learn about kids and the business of child care. It's a "get paid while you get schooled" deal.
I guess we are all different.....which is good. Parents would hate it if every day care in the country was run the same way.
The parents deal with me when it comes to rules, money etc. They know that I am in charge. But they know my assistant/son well. The kids adore him and don't leave at the end of the day until he has had a big hug too. (His fiance doesn't have to worry about whether he'll be a good dad!!!) When he gets married, he is going to open his own day care with his wife and my husband will "un-retire" and be my assistant again. We really are a family affair!
We sometimes get as many as 3 or 4 kids arriving or leaving at the same time. (We have 16) The front door would be too busy without his help. My son is right there at the door helping with coats etc and greeting the parents/kids. Sometimes if I am at the door with one parent, he is with the other kids. If I am busy, on the phone etc....he gets the door. It's a true partnership.
I think some of my parents would worry if I had a "mystery person" in the back somewhere that they never got to see. I know as a parent I would want to know who was with my child during the day.... not some stranger I shook hands with at an interview.. never to talk to again. A person who is a huge part of my child's life is someone I want to know.
You said that having your assistant leave doesn't affect the children's care in any way. :confused:
Doesn't she interact with the kids? Don't they grow attached to her? Both my son and I LOVE our kids. He's 26 years old, 6' 4" tall with shoulders in different time zones. He's a tough ex football player who has cried with me when kids leave because he's so attached to them.
Our kids adore him. He is a hero as far as they are concerned. I have single mom's who tell me how grateful they are that their child has a positive male role model to look up to. He's the one who plays football with the boys. He's the one who can carry 4 kids at the same time as they hang on his outstretched arms. He's the one I love to see helping a 3 yr old girl put shoes on a Barbie!! He's the one they can run to when they scrape a knee and know he cares.
When he gets married next year they are going to miss him A LOT. They know my husband very well and my son will be back to visit often as he is family of course......but it will be hard for the kids to be without him at first.
I don't know how your kids could not be affected by your assistant leaving...unless she never evens talks to them. Does she just do things like prep work, laundry etc and not interact with the kids at all? How can a child be in the same home with a person for years and their care not be affected in the slightest when they leave?:confused:
I think it's a bit sad that parents didn't even know your assistant had left and didn't even ask until MONTHS later A person who I assume had been a huge part of their child's life and yet they didn't know anything about her. Did she not do a good job? Did she not deserve as much as a mention to the parents? I can't imagine having a job...giving it my all....and then just slinking out the back door without so much as an acknowledgement.
When my son leaves here, I could not just let it slide and not tell the parents and not give them a chance to say goodbye. I KNOW they will want to say goodbye and to thank him for all he has done for their children. To do otherwise would be cheating them....and him.
That's why the owner of the day care I worked at put a lovely goodbye note in the center newsletter for all the parents to see. She thanked me for my hard work and let the parents know when my last date was. She actually TOLD them I was going to be home with my new baby and starting my own home day care. I received many gifts, hugs and notes from grateful parents. My classroom assistant (still one of my best friends) gathered photos taken over the years and put them in an album. All the staff and lots of the parents had signed it all over. I will treasure it forever. My boss bought donuts and cakes for my last day and all the staff got to enjoy. That's how we do things around here.
It would have broken my heart to have left quietly with a threat over my head that I had better not be any competition to her.
I saw your link to the non-compete contracts. I'm sure in some places and instances they are needed. Around here, we don't live that way.
Like I said......I guess we all do things differently. It sounds as if you run a tight ship and it works well for you and your day care kids. I have learned a lot from this forum since joining. It's very interesting to see how other people run their day care business.Comment
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Here's another good reason:
I had a daycare assistant that worked for me for a year. I had a family that was a bit odd to say the least. I was contracted with the mom but the dad had custody of the kids, he paid the daycare bill and he usually did drop off and/or pickup all days.
DCD was usually greeted at the door by my assistant if I was tending to unhappy infants....until he tried to BOGART MY ASSISTANT!!!
My assistant came to me and said DCD had asked her to quit working for me and go work for him in his house watching his 2 younger children. I was completely appalled! Not only does this tell me he is unhappy with the level of care I provide but he's looking to leave. I was thankful my assistant told me and later we could laugh about it but it really p*ssed me off!
Then it happened AGAIN about a month later! This time I told the DCM about it and that I didn't like that DCD was haggling my assistant and offering her way more money that I was paying her and said he'd throw in all sorts of benefits, etc. DCM laughed it off and said I need to know DCD's sense of humor and that he didn't mean anything by it. REALLY?! There is no humor here...this is a business and I run it as such. We laugh about the cute things kids say, not about poaching my assistant or offering her things like she can be bought!
And...guess what?! It happened yet again after that! That was the last straw! Not only did he do it in front of me but threw the offer on the table to pay her $300 a week plus any and all activities if she left me and went to work for him at his house! I watched the kids that day and when DCM picked them up, I handed her a letter resigning that day. She was uber p*ssed and said she hated me from the get go, etc. I just laughed and asked why they were here so long and continued to pay than?! :
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Then, DCD showed up that night after hours apologizing profusely and said that I misinterpreted what he was saying. (Sure I did
...I was right there when he said it::!)
He must have thought that by apologizing we were in the good because he showed up the next day with kids in tow.
I didn't answer the door. He left a message telling me "Merry Christmas, they won't be back, blah, blah, blah". Really?! I think that's what I told YOU first!!!!!
THERE'S ONE H*LL OF A GOOD REASON FOR THE ASSISTANT NOT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH THE DAYCARE PARENTS!!!!
Way too much drama and bullcaca for me to deal with!Comment
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This is how I feel. When I left the center I worked at, some of the parents left to join me. They had a total right to do so. I wasn't stealing anything! I believe that if a center needs to threaten it's employees in order to keep them in line and stay in business then it doesn't deserve to BE in business.Comment
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Here's another good reason:
I had a daycare assistant that worked for me for a year. I had a family that was a bit odd to say the least. I was contracted with the mom but the dad had custody of the kids, he paid the daycare bill and he usually did drop off and/or pickup all days.
DCD was usually greeted at the door by my assistant if I was tending to unhappy infants....until he tried to BOGART MY ASSISTANT!!!
My assistant came to me and said DCD had asked her to quit working for me and go work for him in his house watching his 2 younger children. I was completely appalled! Not only does this tell me he is unhappy with the level of care I provide but he's looking to leave. I was thankful my assistant told me and later we could laugh about it but it really p*ssed me off!
Then it happened AGAIN about a month later! This time I told the DCM about it and that I didn't like that DCD was haggling my assistant and offering her way more money that I was paying her and said he'd throw in all sorts of benefits, etc. DCM laughed it off and said I need to know DCD's sense of humor and that he didn't mean anything by it. REALLY?! There is no humor here...this is a business and I run it as such. We laugh about the cute things kids say, not about poaching my assistant or offering her things like she can be bought!
And...guess what?! It happened yet again after that! That was the last straw! Not only did he do it in front of me but threw the offer on the table to pay her $300 a week plus any and all activities if she left me and went to work for him at his house! I watched the kids that day and when DCM picked them up, I handed her a letter resigning that day. She was uber p*ssed and said she hated me from the get go, etc. I just laughed and asked why they were here so long and continued to pay than?! ::::::
Then, DCD showed up that night after hours apologizing profusely and said that I misinterpreted what he was saying. (Sure I did...I was right there when he said it::!)
He must have thought that by apologizing we were in the good because he showed up the next day with kids in tow.
I didn't answer the door. He left a message telling me "Merry Christmas, they won't be back, blah, blah, blah". Really?! I think that's what I told YOU first!!!!!
THERE'S ONE H*LL OF A GOOD REASON FOR THE ASSISTANT NOT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH THE DAYCARE PARENTS!!!!
Way too much drama and bullcaca for me to deal with!
We are always talking on this forum about how the parents can't tell us what to do just because they pay us. Yet we want to own our assistants and dictate who they even TALK to?
The dad was very rude to offer her a job in front of you.......but he has a right to offer her a job and she has the right to say yes or no. You do not own her because you pay her!
Yes...I guess it can get messy and dramatic at times........but as parent, I would NEVER leave my children in the care of a person I was not allowed to talk to.Comment
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[QUOTE=Meeko60;110048]We are always talking on this forum about how the parents can't tell us what to do just because they pay us. Yet we want to own our assistants and dictate who they even TALK to?
The dad was very rude to offer her a job in front of you.......but he has a right to offer her a job and she has the right to say yes or no. You do not own her because you pay her!
BACK THE TRUCK UP! You wouldn't take your child to a provider because an assistant helped out and you weren't permitted to have daily contact with her?!
I took my youngest daughter to Nannyde! She is the primary provider and her assistant was just that. If Nan paid her to dust and vacuum and sanitize while kids were napping who am I to say I want to see her, talk to her, etc?! Daily contact with my child or not, these people need to go through a background check just like anyone else.
As for my post...No, I didn't own my assistant but the dad had ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to offer a job IN MY HOUSE while his children were under my direct care!!!! If he wanted to post an ad on Craigslist and hire a nanny, he is well within his right. You disrespect me in my own house, you're out!!! I'm not the type of provider that deals with disrespectful, rude parents. I'm not going to cry if your $100-$200 a week goes elsewhere.
Money is money but I'm not going to take bad money for good kids. Get my drift.
FYI...If I've learned anything: Parents that are great to work for have the worst kids and the best kids are the worst parents to work for!Comment
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[QUOTE=wdmmom;110051]I think you were absolutely right to term this family. He was very disrespectful to you in your own home. I can't stand that either (see my other posts!)
But in answer to your question about the assistant. No...I would never leave my child in the care of a person I was not allowed to talk to. Even if I loved and trusted the main provider....I would also want to be able to talk to the other person who is with my child all day. As a parent, I would find it super creepy that a person who spends that much time with my child is not allowed to talk to me about that time. Now if they never had any contact with my child...just did janitorial work etc.....that MIGHT be acceptable. But in a home care setting...it would be almost impossible to keep them separate.
And just knowing that a person had a background check is not good enough for me. Many pedophiles would pass a background check. (Just means they haven't been caught yet.) Having a background check doesn't automatically make you a nice person. I would want to actually TALK to any person who is spending each and every day with my child. I would want to get to know them. My youngest kids are in high school now. I STILL make sure that I meet all their teachers and get to know a bit about them. They are with my kids every day and you betcha I want to know all the details.Comment
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And that's why we all beg to differ.
All parenting styles are different, all teaching styles are different and all daycare are run different. What may be suitable for you may be against everything a person stands for to someone else.
My assistant works about 15 hours a week...I pay her to sanitize, clean, and supervise. She has very limited contact with my parents. She will say, "hi" while they are here but as for asking questions regarding the child's day, that needs to come from me. My parents have all met her and know who she is and are completely fine with it. My assistant also works from about 9am to 1230pm after all kids are here and she leaves before they do. She assists with lunch and supervises them during free-play times. She's also very shy and she doesn't want much involvement with the parents. She knows that this is MY business and MY house and the parents contract with ME. I can run the daycare without her...it's my housecleaning that will behind. ::
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