Disciplining Child In Front Of His Parents

[SilverSabre25]

So today, my 3 yo dcb tried to stomp on my cat's head. He was behind mom's back, so I'm the only one who saw it. I reacted immediately and went right to him and told him NO that was NOT okay and put him straight in time out. He howled, he sat, we talked (he and I), they went on their merry way.

I still felt...awkward...disciplining him like that in front of dcm. She was in total agreement with me that he needed that time out. She didn't seem disapproving or anything...but it was still sort of weird.

Do any of you feel weird disciplining the kids (right down to putting them in time out) in front of their parents, while their parents are waiting to leave with them, things like that?

[grandmom]

Nope. Don't feel bad at all. Did it last night for a little guy. He straightened right up.

[nannyde]

I rarely ever have to use time out so the odds of me ever having to do a time out in front of the parents is pretty much nil.

I DO discipline the kids in front of the parents exactly like I do it when they are here during the day. The parents are used to it and they never flinch.

It's mostly "don't touch that"... "oh quit it"... "nooooooooooooooooo" "wait for me to talk to mommy".

I have the parents do the arrivals and departures at the front door so there is very little opportunity for the kids to act up. They try stuff like doinking with my door handles or circling their parents. I just tell them to knock it off.

[Meyou]

I just picked one up off the floor that was crawling away from her dad and meowing like a cat while her dad told her to go get her boots repeatedly but not actually making her do anything. I picked her up, put her on her feet, pointed her in the right direction and told her, "It's time to get ready right now. It's not time to be a cat. Boots and coat please!"

[daycare]

I feel akward too..

the last time I put a child in time out for jumping from sofa to sofa in my front room on brand new stuff.... I said mom needs to wait in the car while you sit in time out...she was so pissed off, she needed to leave and i said well I asked for the kids NOT to play on that stuff so you should have back my words when I asked him 2times NOT to even get on it...SO she had to wait for her kid in the car while he sat time out.

[texascare]

Not a problem at all. Not since a little boy put a hole in my wall years ago. My house my rules. It comes from experience.....Parents often say "wow. little Johnny will never sit in time out for me!"...

[MG&Lsmom]

Yes, but I'm getting over it.

I asked a mom leave once because a child would not pick up the toys he was playing with. Dumped a whole box of something on the ground as mom walked in. It was during his first month with me and they were both shocked that I did it. He also would never put his shoes on or get his stuff to leave when she came. I'd have to do it myself. But he's better now and mostly does things when I ask regardless if mom is there or not. He listens to me a whole lot better than her. He knows I mean business and it's not worth testing me.

[morgan24]

I discipline in front of parents if it's necessary. I'm in charge until they walk out the door. Sometimes it makes the parents little uncomfortable, but if something else comes up they usually take care of it themselves so I don't have to.

[PitterPatter]

I feel very awkward correcting a child in front of parents but honestly I have been cracking down lately because 1 particular kid acts out very bad at pick up and thinks its hilarious. Mom just sits or stands and says come on or is busy telling me about her day... waiting while the kid does things. Sometimes I will ignore her and be handling her kid and she knows I'm not listening so she will yell the kids name telling him to stop but I think it's just so I can get back and listen to her story.

This week I have been on him! When I hear DCM pull up I put gates up to the rest of my home from the front hall. In hope to deter him from trashing the house and running everywhere. (he doesn't do this unless she is here) He took off running and yanked the gate and threw it across the hall. (I didn't have time to latch it I just heard DCM pull up and sat it up) She yelled his name and that was it continued talking about her day and her boyfriend. I said "Stop right now!" Ran after him through my house, found him. He had knocked some books off the shelf and was running laughing for something else to do. I grabbed his hand dragged him back to the front hall. I told him this was not allowed and it was going to stop! I told him to go have a seat on the staircase and wait for Mom to sign him out. DCM just stared at me like WTH? I said "I'm sorry but he is sitting there in a time out, this can't continue every day." She gave a sigh and said "he didn't hurt anything." I said "no but it's not acceptable and he could fall and get hurt next time." She said "whatever" and told dck "come on lets go to the playground, u can play there." He takes off running again and she grabs him before he can get out of the hall.

THIS is exactly why he thinks he can do this stuff. I will continue being strict with him. I usually try to be lenient because I feel it's the parents place to control their children once they step into my home. I look at it like, do they take the kid to any other business and allow them to trash it and stand there waiting for the manager to step in and correct the kid? Of course not. They need to show my home the same respect.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Flip side: I have had to ask a parents not to YELL at their child while in my facility. We don't yell, we discuss. Everyday at pick-up time, he would start fussing about things ("I don't want that for dinner! Take me to the park! Where's my treat? Buy me a toy!") and she started screaming at him. I let her get him in the car, then I told her she can't scream like that in the center. It frightened other kids and sent another boy into a crying funk. Does anyone agree with me on this? Or should I have let her yell when we absolutely never yell at the kids here?

[Mom_of_two]

If I saw someone stomp on my dog's head I would react immediately, too!! I have not had to do that in front of parents. I prefer if a parent is here they be the one to correct their child, but have not had any incidents of misbahaving in front of parents.

Random- Sugar Magnolia, love your screen name! My dog is Sugar Magnolia, we call her Maggie.

[PitterPatter]

Does anyone agree with me on this? Or should I have let her yell when we absolutely never yell at the kids here?

Absolutley agree! Especially in a center!

[dEHmom]

i have a dcb who insists on going into my fish tank cupboard. there is nothing in there that he can get into that can hurt him, or anything. he likes pulling the buckets out, and shaking the fish food containers. When parents are here I don't bother saying No, and I know I should. During the day he doesn't do it usually, just when mom/dad is here.
I think it has to do with excitement and they want to show mom and dad all the cool things, because even at 1yo they go a little crazy when parents are around.
I just hate searching for the fish food containers under the couch and stuff. Sometimes they end up in my laundry basket of dirty clothes.

But i have had to discipline in front of parents, and it's a little more nice than it would normally be, but depending what it is, I'll usually just let it slide. I don't feel comfortable having to discipline in front of parents, but I also don't want them to think some things are ok. I normally have babies, so not much opportunity for bad behavior as with older kids, but with the older kids i used to have, I didn't hesitate when they weren't listening to mom. I wait a moment to see if mom/dad will step in, and if they don't, then I do.

[WDW]

So here is a question in relation to this topic... I have a DCB who likes to slam my front door repeatedly into the wall when it's open.. so the knob has made little marks in the wall. He doesn't do this except when mom is here. I have asked him for the last four days in a row to not touch my door, only grown ups touch the door, etc. Mom told me she understands why, and is okay with me asking him, but yet, she stands here and lets him do it. She makes ME ask him. I want to tell her "I need you to help me enforce this rule, and I need you to not let him do it." I mean, by the time I'm telling him to stop, he's already doing what I don't want him to do. Would you ask DCM to prevent the behavior, or just keep correcting the DCB? Oh, and he's 2.5.

[Blackcat31]

So here is a question in relation to this topic... I have a DCB who likes to slam my front door repeatedly into the wall when it's open.. so the knob has made little marks in the wall. He doesn't do this except when mom is here. I have asked him for the last four days in a row to not touch my door, only grown ups touch the door, etc. Mom told me she understands why, and is okay with me asking him, but yet, she stands here and lets him do it. She makes ME ask him. I want to tell her "I need you to help me enforce this rule, and I need you to not let him do it." I mean, by the time I'm telling him to stop, he's already doing what I don't want him to do. Would you ask DCM to prevent the behavior, or just keep correcting the DCB? Oh, and he's 2.5.

Oh, absolutely I would TELL mom that she needs to control her child when he does this! I would say "Mom, you need to stop him from doing that to my door please. I'd hate to have you have to pay for the repairs when it is so much cheaper for you to simply stop him before he does it." If a parent does not do as I ask, then I simple shuffle them out the door and not continue any kind of conversation.

Bottom line is it is MY house;YOUR child. If we both take care of our things we will be okay. I would NEVER feel bad about telling a parent to parent their child.