"Your so Strict"

[jojosmommy]

I just updated my policies and have added about 6 things: footwear, binky policy, your responsible for your kids when you pick up drop off, lengthened the leave notice time, tightened the sick kid policy and added to refrain from asking me to spank your child.

One family said nothing, signed happily and moved on. Another family has bothered me about everything in the policy- old stuff and some of the new stuff. Dcm even said, "are all daycare providers SO STRICT?" I quickly replied politely, "some are even worse!" So now at least 2x a week she has to add something at drop off of pick up that I am so strict on the kids, so tough on the parents, so.....

Lets be honest, the reason I am so strict and firm with the kids is because of her kid who lives by no rules and does as he pleases. (Same child who I posted earlier about running away while at the park and on walks).

How do I politely tell her that since they are in my care 55hrs a week I will discipline them in that time. I am tempted to say, "look I dont tell you how to do your job so unless you want to run this business take your comments elsewhere."

Do I just **** it up and deal with it or do I stick up for myself? To complicate matters this is a family member .

[daycare]

I have explained to my DCP that without rules there would be chaos. ITs not realistic to do anything without rules...heck even games have rules and you have to play by them.

the number one priority that we are all tyring to accomplish here is the safety of the children. Without set rules and policies we can't do this.

I sent this along with my new PHB

While some of these rules and changes may seem a bit harsh, please do your best to understand my position and where I am coming from. Even though I own and operate the childcare, I am still controlled by the food program, the state and licensing. Therefore, there are some rules that I cannot bend on.

In the past, I have not enforced a lot of the rules in this book, however, this year I will be enforcing everything in it. So please make sure that you are aware of everything in this book. If ever in doubt, please feel free to call me or email me with questions or concerns.

I wear many hats to make this business run smoothly and I cannot do it without your understanding, support and cooperation.



I found this one on a site.....

I am a Professional Child Care Provider, not a babysitter. My goal is to provide your child with a clean, safe, comfortable environment where they can play and learn with guidance and loving care while you are at work or attending school. In order to make our relationship as enjoyable as possible the following are some mutual beneficial requirements that are necessary to assure that there are no misunderstandings between either party, that each party is aware of the requirements, and that these requirements are carried out in a businesslike manner. There is a lot of information here. Please read all of it. If any of my policies seem unfair or unnecessary, please take a moment to think about that policy and how it would apply to your current working situation… I’m sure it will make sense in that light. These policies are enforced for the same reasons policies are enforced in any job situation - for fairness and respect. If you have any questions please ask.

[MyAngels]

My reply would be: "I prefer to think of myself as firm, but fair." With a big smile, of course.

[PitterPatter]

Well I have a weak backbone so I can't help u in the normal situation for clients BUT if it's my family member I don't sugar coat very much and my backbone is stronger.

I haven't had that exact situation but I have had a client always making smart remarks about a dif subject. I ignored it for a long time and finally snapped and told her I was tired of the smart remarks and I felt it was best she find another provider. She tried to back pedal but I was done at that point. Once I start to put up with so much I end up disliking the person and just can't be kind anymore so it has to end. I hope she eases up on u!

[jojosmommy]

She even went so far as to say, "Ill tell her how strict you are!" when I mentioned that I gave out her number as a reference to a potential client after an interview. She agreed a while back that it was ok to do so but now I am wondering if I shouldn't. That client did not ever sign up and said she picked another daycare.... :confused:

My husband says I should tell her to take her kids elsewhere and she will quickly realize what issues her son presents and that most other providers won't put up with it. I am not about to start world war three so maybe she will figure it out when I am on maternity and she has to send the kids elsewhere.

[MsMe]

I have never had anyone say to my face that I am too strict but I have gotten the 'look' before.

I politly remind them that while their ONE child maybe allowed to do XYZ at home it does not work for TWELVE children to be allowed the same freedoms in my care.

YES all sippies stay in the kitchen ALL the time
YES children are required to pick a room and stay there (for at least a reasonable time)
NO Power Rangers and gun play are NOT allowed at daycare.
NO eating outside of meal times

These are all things the kids are allowed to do at home but not at daycare...and that is the way it is ALWAYS going to be.

[daycare]

Guess I missed that part about the mom saying it to your face.... I have the shivers..... I need coffee.

If anyone said that to my face, i would ask them to sit down and talk to me about what the issues are...... if you are so strict then why is her child there?

Most parents don't understand our situations...like the pp said home care is not "your home" care and there are things that are ok to do at home, but never here..

Maybe you can talk with her and let her know this......If she still thinks your TOO STRICT, then tell her she needs to find another place for her child.

[bice99]

jojosmommy - would you be willing to PM me your handbook? I'm tweaking mine right now as well and would love to see some other ones. Thanks

[texascare]

I had a similar situation. Mom kept complaing etc and i finally had my fill. I called her after I had calmed down and asked her if we could discuss what what was bothering her. As the conversation went on she was complaining more and more and i said, "if you don't feel that this is a good match for you then i think you need to look else where for care for your child". --mind you she had been here a yr......She agreed. However......15 mins later and I couldn't get off the phone with her or get a word in at all I finally said, "look. It is obvious that you are unhappy here. Please take this as your two weeks notice".......That was it~we were done!!! We have rules, or I do because things that have happenned in the past and things I have learned from. I keep 6 kids. If I didn't have rules it would be a zoo over here. I think if they are unhappy then they need to look else where for care.

[Lucy]

My drama-free philosophy is, JUST SMILE AND NOD.

Really, how can they keep you engaged in debate if you do that? After awhile they will see they're not getting any result from their bitching, and maybe they'll quit. Also, it prevents you from saying something that will come up later in a dispute.

[AnythingsPossible]

I think the key to your post is that you state at the end that this is a family member. In my experience family think they are entitled to not have to abide by any rules that are set.
By any chance does this same family get a break on daycare fees since they are family? If they do, tell them, "sorry you feel I am to strict! here are a list of other daycare providers and the rates they charge, feel free to contact them!"
I try very hard to not do business with friends or family.

[daycare]

i totally missed that part.....family.....there is your first mistake right there...........the worst people to do business with, family freinds and from what I just learned neighbors............. I would be makin sure that the door hit them on the butt tonight... Thats just rude,.

[littlemissmuffet]

Family or not, I'd tell her to take a walk.

I do not put up with ANY disrespect from ANYONE in MY home, particularily clients. Sne dher here, I'll show her what strict is

[Hunni Bee]

I have a parent currently complaining to anyone who will listen (including other parents) about our shoe policy - no open-toe or open-heel shoe of any kind. She keeps asking why cant her kid wear sandals, and we didnt do it last year so why are we doing it now?

Um....# 1, you signed up in September, so you were not here last summer. Had you been here, you would know that we indeed enforced this policy last summer as well as the year before that.

#2, Because we love your daughter and also don't want any lawsuits, we're not going to allow her to scrape her toes and heels on the blacktop, slip and fall, trip down the stairs, lose her shoe and step on something like a rock or a bee, or any other calamity likely to happen when three-year-olds wear flip flops.

[nannyde]

55 hours a week is a LOT of hours. That's eleven hours a day. I can't imagine what it would be like to care for kids that many hours a day five days a week. Are they working that many hours that they need that much day care?