This Child Loves To Get In Trouble

[momatheart]

He is 4 years old and will purposefully act up to get attention and be redirected. He thinks it is great and funny. This is what he wants. He is being disruptive to the class (20 kids in the class) so ignoring it is not going to work.

Any suggestions? Mom and dad are tired of hearing the negative about this child so we can't even bring this up to them.

[nannyde]

Mom and dad are tired of hearing the negative about this child so we can't even bring this up to them.

Who is saying you can't bring it up to them? Of course you can. They need to know every day how he is behaving. Specifically what he is doing... what measures you have in place and his response to them.

[Hunni Bee]

You work at a center too, right?

I have two like that...one just thinks everything is a free-for-all for him, and the other must have my complete attention at all times or he's wreaking havoc. If I ignore them, it only escalates.

They're both out right now, so Im counting my blessings. I have no advice for you, just support.

One thing I have say is, it doesn't matter if the mom and dad are tired of hearing about it. It's THEIR kid. If they're tired of HEARING about it, how do they think you all feel? Plus, they can use that against you later by saying "They never told us, we had no idea his behavior had gotten that bad."

Another thing: document, document, document. Everything he does, every time he does it, every day. Then show it to your director, and ask that she call a conference between her, you, the parents and the child. Make sure you tell her how it is affecting the other children. Also document every time you tell his parents.

I know "term" is a four-letter word in centers, so that naturally isn't going to help here...I hope your director is on your side.

[momatheart]

Yep I work at a center. We redirect.

Yes the whole staff including the director is well aware of this child's behavior. One day his mom made a comment that he always is struggling with something. She said it very sarcastically and the next day he had a bad day behavoir wise he copied another child's bad behavior and was the worse I had seen him and our director wrote the note on the daily take home sheet. Well this got the parents irrate. The note was well worded not mean at all.
So we talked with the one parent and they said they are tired of all the negative on his take home sheets. He is a good boy we never see this type of behavior. (we have him 10 plus hours a day) Mom and dad see him a few hours in the evening he is in bed by 7:30. He is picked up after 5.
From then on we do not write anything on his paper. They told us basically well it happens in daycare it is your problem you deal with it.

So with that comment being made by the parents we just don't give any negative to them. To verbally say anything I am afraid of what I will say will be taken all wrong or come out wrong. If asked by the child if he had a good day I say to him well remember such and such and again this child is so proud to say how he was naughty.

[nannyde]

So we talked with the one parent and they said they are tired of all the negative on his take home sheets.

Wow it must be exhausting for them to read sheets and hear negative words. That's got to be way harder than dealing with him for ten plus hours a day in a large group of kids.

This is about money. The center wants the money and the parents believe the money they pay is for you to deal with his bad behavior. Until his bad behavior costs the center money they will just allow the parents to say words to them like "he doesn't do that at home" and "I don't like the negative reports".

Document daily. When he does do something that costs the center money you will need documentation to cover your end of it.

[momatheart]

Thanks. I will document.

[Live and Learn]

Yep I work at a center. We redirect.

Yes the whole staff including the director is well aware of this child's behavior. One day his mom made a comment that he always is struggling with something. She said it very sarcastically and the next day he had a bad day behavoir wise he copied another child's bad behavior and was the worse I had seen him and our director wrote the note on the daily take home sheet. Well this got the parents irrate. The note was well worded not mean at all.
So we talked with the one parent and they said they are tired of all the negative on his take home sheets. He is a good boy we never see this type of behavior. (we have him 10 plus hours a day) Mom and dad see him a few hours in the evening he is in bed by 7:30. He is picked up after 5.
From then on we do not write anything on his paper. They told us basically well it happens in daycare it is your problem you deal with it.

So with that comment being made by the parents we just don't give any negative to them. To verbally say anything I am afraid of what I will say will be taken all wrong or come out wrong. If asked by the child if he had a good day I say to him well remember such and such and again this child is so proud to say how he was naughty.

When I read how centers deal with problems I get scared for our future.

[Kaddidle Care]

What exactly is he doing? Is he harming the other children?

Several different suggestions:

If he is actually enjoying the redirection then it's time for another technique. He's old enough for a time out - you all need to find another way.

I'm wondering if you have a ADD type child that has zero attention span. Does he act appropriately for his age or does he seem younger?

Dangle a carrot - a new toy that he can play with later on in the afternoon if he can manage to be good and stay on track in the morning. Start small and work your way up to a longer period.

I had one difficult child that responded well depending on how I requested something. If I told him, "You can play with the trains if you help pick up the puzzle." he would respond favorably. But if I told him "You have to pick up the puzzle before you play with the trains." he wouldn't cooperate. Figure out where the key word should go. (I hope you followed that - it's hard to communicate.)

If all else fails, strike 1,2,3 - off to the Director. Let HER deal with him until she is fed up with the nonsense and decides to term him.