HOW Do YOU Potty Train???

[PitterPatter]

I know the basics as I have trained a few kids including my own son but I am really losing my patience here and really need some help.

I have 3 kids that need trained and I think the parents are slacking because not 1 of them is doing well at all and it has been almost a month since I cracked down.

DCB is almost 3, he is stubborn and tells me flat out NO. He has gone before but is just lazy with it. When I take the group on potty break he doesn't even want to try. He has an attitude problem most of the time and fights me on everything. I think he can do it, he is smart, but just doesn't want to so how do I make him? DCM wants to stop buying diapers and says he goes for her sometimes but then pulls the same attitude and stops for days so what do we do?

DCB2 just turned 2 and is at a total loss as to what I am trying to tell him. He can't talk much at all. Everything is "heh" like an old man who can't hear. He hears me tho no problem there. He just doesn't get it. I think I still have time for him, he is young and with him just not understanding I don't want to push so I am willing to back off. DCM however wants him trained too so she doesn't have to buy diapers.

DCG almost 4, (sis to dcb2) Doesn't talk much, doesn't have much vocab for her age. She seems very delayed but is a happy child so I try to make it fun for her. She will tell me no when I ask her if she has to potty. Then her pants will be wet later.

I have tried taking all 3 of the kids in a row taking turns. Sometimes we get a winner and we do the potty dance and sing they get stickers for the chart and a small prize. I thought that would help but nope no interest! DCG is very behind and I understand the DCM pushing for her to be done BUT she just came to me so why is she 4 and not farther along? I feel like it's being dropped in my lap and I am getting VERY frustrated! I can not run upstairs with 3 toddlers every 30 minutes. I tried that for a few days and we just didnt have time for anything else. Part of the problem for me is trying to work with 3 at once! I have only worked 1 at a time in the past. I have never had 3 that needed trained at once. I ask the kids all through the day as well as take them every 2 hrs just in case they are fibbing to me or dont get it. All 3 say no EVERY time! Not 1 of them is trying to work with me and I am really getting fed up with having this burden on me when I feel like the parents are NOT on board and just lying to me. I am starting to feel like a complete failure! I can only take them and sit them, I can't make them pee. It's hit and miss. No one is getting it. When they pee in the potty they get a few rewards cheering and smiles. When they pee in the diapers they get a frown and I tell them I know they can pee in the potty try better next time. I don't want to be mean or push too hard but DCP are ON me so now what? What would u guys do here?

[MyAngels]

In this case, I would put it back on the parents of these children. The 2 year old is probably not quite ready, anyway. I don't take responsibility for potty training anyone else's children, that is the parent's job. Once they've got it pretty much under control, I will follow up here, but if the accidents are too frequent I will require them to be back in diapers or pull ups.

[Mom_of_two]

I agree, parents job to establish the skills. They can't be in underwear here til 2 weeks accident free in pull-ups. They need to be able to tell me they need to potty, then wait to get there to do it! Cause sometimes I might be attending to another etc. Let us know what happens!!

[SilverSabre25]

The parents start it at home. Once they're seeing consistent and significant progress at home (OR the child starts initiating trips while in my care), I will work on it here. Once they reach a certain point at home (depends on the child) I will let them come here in underwear. Around 2 or so we start talking about telling me when they feel their body telling them that it's time to go potty, and how nice it would be to put poop in the potty instead of in their diaper, and things like that.

[AnythingsPossible]

For those providers who let the parents start the process and pitch in once things are going well at home, how exactly does that work for you? If a child is in daycare 40 to 50 hours a week, how can a parent consistently work with them when they only have them a few hours a week?
I approach it in a team style fashion. Once the parents are ready to start at home, we start here. I do require pull ups until they are consistently accident free, and then still for nap time for a period of about a month. For the 3 year old, I would stop trying to make him go and keep him in diapers. If he is wanting to have a battle of wills, you most likely aren't going to win. Tell mom that until he shows a level of readiness, you will not continue to fight him in potty training. Make diaper change time as low key and low interaction as possible. If you are continuing to potty train the other two, make a big production over their attempts to go potty and their successes, but give no attention to diaper issues.
As for the other 2, are they ready, or are the parents just wanting to potty train them both because they think it would be easier? If the sister is 4 and still not potty trained, I doubt the brother is ready at 2. If she has developmental issues, it may be easier and more productive to focus on her solely for a bit. I would not ask her if she needs to go, but take her to the bathroom.
If the 2 year old is non-verbal, how is he going to express to you the need to go to the bathroom? That is an essential part of potty training, recognizing and expressing the need to go. If he can't verbalize that need to you, your still a diaper changer for him, though in a different sense as you will be taking him to the bathroom as he won't be able to tell you.
You need to have a frank discussion with both sets of parents and tell them your expectations for potty training and the situation you have been dealing with.

[Cat Herder]

For those providers who let the parents start the process and pitch in once things are going well at home, how exactly does that work for you? If a child is in daycare 40 to 50 hours a week, how can a parent consistently work with them when they only have them a few hours a week?

It works GREAT for me.

Parents tell me they are starting potty training, I say congrats.

Usually about 6-8 months later DCC will look up to me lovingly, say "I need to go potty" and I take them.

After two weeks of that, without any accidents, I allow them to be declared "Potty Trained" at my house and wear undies. If we regress, we just start over. No pressure.

I have zero potty training issues, here. Kids are not stressed, constipated or left unsupervised for 15 minutes out of every hour while I am in the bathroom.

My parents are not stressed about it either. I really have NO potty drama at all. It is worth it for everyone involved.

[PitterPatter]

For those providers who let the parents start the process and pitch in once things are going well at home, how exactly does that work for you? If a child is in daycare 40 to 50 hours a week, how can a parent consistently work with them when they only have them a few hours a week?
I approach it in a team style fashion. Once the parents are ready to start at home, we start here. I do require pull ups until they are consistently accident free, and then still for nap time for a period of about a month. For the 3 year old, I would stop trying to make him go and keep him in diapers. If he is wanting to have a battle of wills, you most likely aren't going to win. Tell mom that until he shows a level of readiness, you will not continue to fight him in potty training. Make diaper change time as low key and low interaction as possible. If you are continuing to potty train the other two, make a big production over their attempts to go potty and their successes, but give no attention to diaper issues.
As for the other 2, are they ready, or are the parents just wanting to potty train them both because they think it would be easier? If the sister is 4 and still not potty trained, I doubt the brother is ready at 2. If she has developmental issues, it may be easier and more productive to focus on her solely for a bit. I would not ask her if she needs to go, but take her to the bathroom.
If the 2 year old is non-verbal, how is he going to express to you the need to go to the bathroom? That is an essential part of potty training, recognizing and expressing the need to go. If he can't verbalize that need to you, your still a diaper changer for him, though in a different sense as you will be taking him to the bathroom as he won't be able to tell you.
You need to have a frank discussion with both sets of parents and tell them your expectations for potty training and the situation you have been dealing with.

Thank u to everyone who replied!

Pull ups are an issue with DCM of 2. She refuses to buy pull ups because "they cost a small fortune." I think not being able to easily pull up and down makes it harder because they won't remove their diapers. I have to unfasten get it off and help them on the step to potty, then lay them down and rediaper before they can even pull their pants back up. Also with the siblings this is another issue they can't pull pants up. DCG tries but gives up twisted DCB wont even try just stands there "heh" and reaching out. I honestly don't think dcb2 is ready at all! Dcg should be being she is going to turn 4 soon. Maybe it's just me but I have never even seen a 4 yr old girl in diapers. I have seen a couple boys but never a girl. I always hear girls are easier to train. When we 1st started training she would always say yes to my question of potty and now it's always no. Either way it was always hit and miss when we went. I don't get it. The other DCB has pull ups but just refuses to go.

How often should I be taking them. I tried every 30 mins as I saw someone else suggest in an old post but that's simply not working. We do nothing but potty and that frustrated the kids even. I try to keep it lighthearted and fun so as not to discourage. I have been doing every 1 or 2 hours trips, depending on the schedule, where EVERYONE is encouraged to go potty but again not forced. I must have had it easy in the past because the kids I helped train would hold their crotch, go hide or even say potty when they had to go. This group is just difficult all around.

I have explained this to the parents DCB's Mom doesnt care AS much as the siblings Mother. She wants her in a preschool in the fall but they wont take her unless she is trained. She swears she goes for her when they get home but that just doesnt make sense. She just stood here at pick up today and told me she was trying to get DCB2 to sleep last night and DCG kept telling her she had to pee but she had to make her wait until DCB2 got to sleep so she had no choice but to pee in her diaper. I told her that could be causing confusion in DCGs mind. Maybe I am wrong but as soon as a potty training child informs me he/she has to pee it's rush time!

[Country Kids]

Why would the little girl tell her mom that she has to go but not you. That shows that she knows when she has to go and wants to go and is able to communicate that also. Does mom do something different that you aren't aware of for DKG? You might ask her what her routine is and how often she takes them.

[PitterPatter]

Why would the little girl tell her mom that she has to go but not you. That shows that she knows when she has to go and wants to go and is able to communicate that also. Does mom do something different that you aren't aware of for DKG? You might ask her what her routine is and how often she takes them.

I have no clue that's why I am here trying to get new ideas. DCM said DCG will sometimes tell her and she takes her other times she will just go in her diaper and not say anything. I asked how often she takes her to potty she said only when she tells me she has to. She said she pees in the potty a couple times a day.

[daycare]

I am with all the others.... If the parents want to start at home that is great. when they tell me hey I am potty training my kid now, I give them my potty training policy and signs of readiness sheet. I tell them that i will only work with them if i feel that their child is ready to start at DC, if not then they can keep doing it at home. Once all signs of "I am ready to start" occur on a daily basis with the kids, I will tell the parents I think it's a good time to start so and so to potty train. We try for at least 2 weeks straights and if I see no progress at all then we stop and try again at a later time.

the parents have to want to start it becuase they have to follow through at home. if I am the only one doing it, then it is pointless/........even if they are here for 70 hours a week. consistency is key to make it work smoothly for the child...

[bice99]

daycare - will you share your policy and signs of readiness. Mine said when they show 2 or 3 of the signs (from APA) but I think they need all of them. A child interested in the potty but wearing a soaked diaper without comment isn't ready. Thanks bice99@comcast.net

[youretooloud]

Oddly.. I have NEVER, EVER had a single parent potty train their own child. EVER. Not even the kids who stay home all summer come back potty trained. So.. that means I have to do it. Then, the parents will start at home, but only after I have been successful here.

I have a bunch of one piece plastic potty chairs. Ikea has them for $4. Or Baby Bjorn has them for $7. (but you pay shipping)

I use thick training pants, and usually leggings or something loose, or just the undies... and we go cold turkey. I won't even give them a diaper for nap time. I just lay them on a folded flannel sheet.

I tell them "you are potty trained... no more diapers". They have one or two accidents, and then they get it. If they don't get it after a few days (no more than a week) I'll give in and stop trying.

A new two year old with no communication skills is probably not ready. But, the almost four year old wouldn't get a choice.

*Keep in mind, we have all tile... the kids are free to go outside (well, not GO outside.. I mean play outside, so if they wet out there, it's no biggie)... and I usually potty train two or three kids at the same time, so it's a group project.... PLUS, the older kids are ALWAYS putting the littles on the potty or trying to help*

[youretooloud]

Instead of using pullups, you can try the thick training pants with plastic pants over them.

http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_...roducts_id=959 Or Mom can buy a few pairs of these. (they are easy to resell too) That, with a pair of leggings should keep the messes down to a minimum.


http://www.babybestbuy.com/dappi-ear...ining-384.html These are REALLLY cheap, and they do work. They aren't as comfortable as the more expensive kinds. But, it gets the job done faster.

[PitterPatter]

Oddly.. I have NEVER, EVER had a single parent potty train their own child. EVER. Not even the kids who stay home all summer come back potty trained. So.. that means I have to do it. Then, the parents will start at home, but only after I have been successful here.

I have a bunch of one piece plastic potty chairs. Ikea has them for $4. Or Baby Bjorn has them for $7. (but you pay shipping)

I use thick training pants, and usually leggings or something loose, or just the undies... and we go cold turkey. I won't even give them a diaper for nap time. I just lay them on a folded flannel sheet.

I tell them "you are potty trained... no more diapers". They have one or two accidents, and then they get it. If they don't get it after a few days (no more than a week) I'll give in and stop trying.

A new two year old with no communication skills is probably not ready. But, the almost four year old wouldn't get a choice.

*Keep in mind, we have all tile... the kids are free to go outside... and I usually potty train two or three kids at the same time, so it's a group project.... PLUS, the older kids are ALWAYS putting the littles on the potty or trying to help*

LOL I was just thinking no way can they go cold turkey! I just had all new carpet put in! The beds for nap are all new too. Summer if they still arent trained we could try to do this outside, who cares if they pee in the grass.

The almost 4 yr old is the 1 I really don't get, she's going to be 4. Even though she doesn't talk much she still should FEEL icky and say something or move a certain way. None of them ever offer to tell me. DCB just flat out refuses even when I ask 10 times. Today he said he likes peeing in his diaper and stuck his nose in the air as he walked away. So be it, I quit on him for a while too. DCG I am not giving up on! But she could be sitting there in a pile of poo or a wet diaper and not show a sign or say a word. I just don't get it. I keep thinking the DCM is lying but even if she is DCG should be working with me.

DCBs Mom said the trick is to give him a drink of juice, wait 5 minutes then run him to the bathroom and he will pee. She said it works like a charm for her. Pffft Riiight! Not so much here lady!

[PitterPatter]

[QUOTE=youretooloud;107294]Instead of using pullups, you can try the thick training pants with plastic pants over them.

http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_...roducts_id=959 Or Mom can buy a few pairs of these. (they are easy to resell too) That, with a pair of leggings should keep the messes down to a minimum.


http://www.babybestbuy.com/dappi-ear...ining-384.html These are REALLLY cheap, and they do work. They aren't as comfortable as the more expensive kinds. But, it gets the job done faster.[/QUOTE]

Thank u! I am going to order these myself and try them 1st. I don't dare ask either family to buy anything. I got my head bit off when I asked a dcm for little swimmers last yr so the kid could go swimming. I was told to "either let him go comando or deal with the swollen diaper" UGH! I gotta get the kids trained before summer!