How Do You Deal With Burn Out?

[Evansmom]

I'm burnt out folks. 3 years in the home daycare business and not much time off. 10 hour days plus cleaning at the end of the day/50+ hour weeks plus planning, cleaning and shopping time. I'm worn all the way through with no reserves.

Last year we started scheduling 2 weeks off, one in the summer and one at Christmas time. It's helped but I've got 8 weeks till my summer vacay and I"m dragging big time.

I want to schedule a personal day off. Take a long weekend. I don't have that written into my contract but it was last October when I took a day off for sickness, we are rarely (maybe twice a year) closed due to illness. So I don't feel bad about closing for a day. I only have 5 other holidays this year.

One of my parent's just took a bunch of time off to have plastic surgery and i know she's gonna get upset if I have to close for a day. She always does anyway. But whatever.

So I'm rambling, sorry. I want to know what do you guys do when you're burnt out? How do you prevent it from happening?

Thanks!!

[cheerfuldom]

I got an assistant. Its just not reasonable to do it all yourself all the time especially if you have kids of your own, a spouse, a household to keep afloat. (plus I am very pregnant and finishing my college degree!) It does help if you have a spouse that really chips in significantly but otherwise, you just have to find a way to schedule in some time for yourself.

[Cat Herder]

Schedule two weeks per year Family Vacation.

Mark yourself closed for all Stat Holidays PAID. Memorial Day, 4th of July...etc.... If the schools/banks are closed, you close.

That should give you evenly spaced out 3 day weekends and two week long breaks during the year. Keeps you from resenting the parents and increases your motivation with the kids.

I don't charge for the two vacation weeks, but do for the Stats. Most charge for all....my region just won't support it.

[Evansmom]

I got an assistant. Its just not reasonable to do it all yourself all the time especially if you have kids of your own, a spouse, a household to keep afloat. (plus I am very pregnant and finishing my college degree!) It does help if you have a spouse that really chips in significantly but otherwise, you just have to find a way to schedule in some time for yourself.

How much do you pay an assistant? How many days do you have one?

This sounds interesting to me, I've never considered it. Though I only have 3 daycare kids, I have 3 kids of my own (two are in school all day but still there is after school and extra curricular and homework etc.)

Although maybe I just need a house cleaner? That would be nice. Maybe when my husband gets the promotion in a few months.


Catherder: That's a good idea. I usually just schedule off the major holidays (4th of July, Thanksgiving etc.) but I like the idea of taking all the holidays off. I really do need the extra break. Would you change the vacation schedule now or wait till the new year to do it?

[blueclouds29]

I totally feel you! I only watch 2 kids plus my 2 year old. Many days i get up and just don't want to watch any kids. I have thought about not doing in home childcare but then that means putting my dd in a daycare which means putting out a lot of money which we don't have..
I have wanted to take a personal day just to stay sane... but i feel bad for the 2 parents i have who never take off. I also have a vac coming in July which i CAN NOT wait for! An assistant is out of the question since i only have 2 kids and a cleaning person is out to due to lack of money. Sometimes I just have to go along and just count down till July. That's all I can do!

[Cat Herder]

Catherder: That's a good idea. I usually just schedule off the major holidays (4th of July, Thanksgiving etc.) but I like the idea of taking all the holidays off. I really do need the extra break. Would you change the vacation schedule now or wait till the new year to do it?

You could just do a:

"It has recently come to my attention that I made a few oversights on your current 2011-2012 Calendar. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. I will be sending out an updated Closings Calendar this Friday. Please make note of the changes. Thanks in advance for your patience."

I have also seen many a provider just do a "Monthly Closings Reminder" since most of the parents miss the first one or two anyway after having tossed it without reading it or making a note of it on their calendar...

[Evansmom]

Catherder: I like your wording, I do send out closing reminders and most parents wouldn't know the difference if I added a few during the year They hardly respond to emails or anything unless it effects them negativly

[countrymom]

oh take all the holidays off. I don't schedual vacation time for me, but I let everyone know that when I need a day off I will take it. So maybe once a month take a day off to catch up. I also have a mom who complains and she takes all the time off to do her errands and she had gastric bypass surgury done, it was fine when she took it off but when I told her I was taking 10 days off to go to florida you would have thought I was never going to come back. Oh, always offer backup care too so they can do whatever they choose.
I also think its this time of year, its raining again here everyone is nutty, its awful that we can't do anything and since its not sunny outside I find it depressing too.

[cheerfuldom]

I get paid no matter what. All bank holidays, vacation, any day the daycare is closed even if I am sick or its an emergency. Now I have never had a sick day in four years (even though I have been sick) and only two or three emergencies so I don't take advantage of my own policy. I have 3 full timers (about to lose one), one part timer, two kids of my own with another on the way (all at home all day). I have a college age girl that normally comes two mornings a week, two hours each morning and I pay her $8 per hour. This allows for appointments and errands. Now that I am at the end of my pregnancy, she is coming every day. When she works full time during my maternity leave (or an occasional full day outside that), I pay her $6.50 per hour because there is a long nap time when no one is up but she still has to be in the house. Occasionally I have her do some cleaning but it is almost always just the backyard, playroom and daycare bathroom. This was my compromise in keeping my sanity and continuing to do daycare. Previously, I was doing all of this on my own every day and my husband was working two jobs. I did not even see him four days out of the week. Needless to say, I had a huge meltdown this winter and made some changes!

[MsMe]

If you find the answer would you let me know ASAP?! I am currently suffering from a MAJOR case of burn out. I work 60 hours a week. ALL paperwork, cleaning, planning, shopping, and cooking is my responcablity alone. I do have a partner and used to run at full capacity but she started to get burnt out and has a family at home( 2 teen age boys and a husband) I am live alone and have no children. In order to keep the daycare open I allowed enrollment to drop to a level where I was allowed to care for the children alone all but one day a week (when we have part timers that up our numbers). She also works on average one morning or afternoon a week. This has been the plan for two years. She is also not the most pleasent person to work with and it is VERY stress full when she is here bc she basicly knows nothing about how our day runs any more but want to run things the old way.

I within the last few months have started to suffer from my won burn out. I am finished. I no longer find much joy in my day. I work too much and have a couple of challenging/annoying children (no reason to term just loud, dramatic kids) and she is all happy go lucky when she comes in and thinks I am beign too much of a grump.

p.s. I don't need any breaks, personal days, late starts, or early outs bc I don't have a family of my own to take care of.

[daycare]

you need to get out of your house....you also need some YOU time. I was on burn out a few months back and started picking everything in my life apart. After a few days of it I realized that I never made time for myself. I never met up wtih friends, heck I didn't do anything to make friends.

Our job gets hard, because we are stuck in our house which we live in and often don't get to hold real conversations with adults. It starts to wear on you. Not to mention when you have your own family and they dont understand how you feel.

I just started leaving the house. The heck with trying to keep everything clean, organized, and the way I wanted it. i changed my schedule so that I could clean the house in the morning before daycare started. Otherwise, it's like rolling a rock up a hill. Just keeps on coming back at you.

I also joined a jogging group so that I could make friends. I even picked up a new client like that as well.....
I also plan small weekend get aways for the hubby and I so that I always have something to look forward to. That really keeps me going...and don't plan them too far away so that they are not in sight......

Dont sweat the small stuff and focus on you when you feel like this. May sound selfish, but if you aren't in a good state of mind, then you're no good to anyone.....It's ok for moms to be selfish every once in awhile....

[Evansmom]

daycare I think you are so right! It's the almost eternal time I spend in my house that is so monotonous and working with small children is not very mentally challenging.

I don't have any friends really. I know one person who used to come by during the week with her child but let's face it, when you run a daycare you can't hold a conversation with another adult. It's too distracting with a kid coming up every 30 seconds about something.

I don't even know how to make friends at this stage in life. All the women I meet in my neighborhood don't seem interested in being friends. I think sometimes it's b/c I live in a upper class neighborhood and they look down their noses at me b/c I am not just a stay at home mom and I watch other people's children. You know, I'm the "hired help". I don't know where to meet normal people.

And getting out is great and I used to get the kids out with me to go to the playground and the library story time. But now with this new kid (see my post in venting...) I can't leave the house.

I try to get up super early but I open at 7:30 and most mornings I get up around 6:30 to try to fit in some yoga which helps but that's been sliding b/c I'm so tired, just plain exhausted. I can't imagine getting up even earlier to clean.

Guess I better keep trying to get up really early to have some time to myself and just keep looking forward to that vacation in June!

[daycare]

daycare I think you are so right! It's the almost eternal time I spend in my house that is so monotonous and working with small children is not very mentally challenging.

I don't have any friends really. I know one person who used to come by during the week with her child but let's face it, when you run a daycare you can't hold a conversation with another adult. It's too distracting with a kid coming up every 30 seconds about something.

I don't even know how to make friends at this stage in life. All the women I meet in my neighborhood don't seem interested in being friends. I think sometimes it's b/c I live in a upper class neighborhood and they look down their noses at me b/c I am not just a stay at home mom and I watch other people's children. You know, I'm the "hired help". I don't know where to meet normal people.

And getting out is great and I used to get the kids out with me to go to the playground and the library story time. But now with this new kid (see my post in venting...) I can't leave the house.

I try to get up super early but I open at 7:30 and most mornings I get up around 6:30 to try to fit in some yoga which helps but that's been sliding b/c I'm so tired, just plain exhausted. I can't imagine getting up even earlier to clean.

Guess I better keep trying to get up really early to have some time to myself and just keep looking forward to that vacation in June!

when I say get out of the house...I meant you get out of the house after DC is over....no kids in tow.........i know its not possible to do everyday, but at least once or twice a week....some where in those 7 days....

My husband workds two jobs by choice, not because he has to. therefore, I never and i mean never get to see him, nor do my kids... It's really hard because I have no support and no one to ever help.... I was at wits end and was about to jump......then one day I woke up and said ahhhhh heck screw it all..... sorry I had potty mouth that day...

I feel so much better....and hey don't worry about what the others think of you... Don't limit yourself.....who knows, you may end up being best friends with some of them or even end up picking up a kid or two from them...but I know what you mean....i live in a keeping up with the jone's kinda area too.....and I am not the Jones'....

find a schedule that works for you where you aren't in a battle....also get your own kids to help where and when they can......makes a world of a difference..

[Evansmom]

when I say get out of the house...I meant you get out of the house after DC is over....no kids in tow.........i know its not possible to do everyday, but at least once or twice a week....some where in those 7 days....

Wait, the grocery store doesn't count as an outing??? ::::

I know you are right, I could go somewhere, anywhere, I just don't know where I guess. But I should, even if I just drive around.

My older kids do help out as their schedules allow. My daughter works and goes to high school and is preparing for a trip to Taiwan so she's kinda been busy and my son is helpful but he mostly mows the yard etc.

I try to talk to my family but I know they don't understand about the burn out feeling.

And I don't really worry about what the other ladies I've met think, I don't care. But I know even after multiple invites they don't drop by or come visit. I can't figure out what else the problem would be. I'm pretty educated, I shower daily, I don't smoke or drink etc.

How dirty do all you guys let your house get? I think a lot of my stress is from feeling like I gotta clean the house every single night. I mean, I work out of my home and it's the first thing clients see every morning so I want it to be nice and orderly and clean. But when you get up around 6 in the morning and you don't sit down at night until 10pm there is something wrong there right?

[daycare]

about the house... I clean as I go..it is also my biggest stress. Dinner time is the worst, my older two make a big mess and then often dont clean well...I really cant expect them to clean to my standards... But I want it cleaned by them if they use it regardless.

I tend to focus on one room a day that I clean top to bottom. Usually its the area that the DCP see when coming in... I have a check list...
first kid arrives at 715, others at 830
this is the time that I use to clean and get stuff ready for DC

1. check for all saftey of the house...any scissors laying around, plugs out of walls and etc.
2. how does the entry way look, tidy up
3. front bathroom, make sure trash is out and clean up any necessary ends
4. do I really need to run the vacuum again? (I always run it at 5:00 pm day before)
5. water all the plants
6. set up DC table and get food ready to go

I dont even bother with my bedroom in the morning or anyones bedroom.

Every day as DCK eat, I clean and same for projects. One toy out at a time rule,
DCK clean up at 4:45, we read until 5:00.
5:00 the vacuum the carpet and get the DCK to help clean anything that they used and have them get ready to go home.
5:30 pick up starts....almost all of my cleaning is done by then.
6:00 last pick up and by then I am all cleaned up.
I prepare each day for the next before the DC even closes.

the only mess I have left is the ones that my own kids make. I expect them to clean up after themself....if they dont, they lose out on their electronics and then I get to clean up in the morning OR I even wake them up to do it sometimes before school..

On the weekends, I recently started just letting everything go...otherwise i stress about it all the time... Sunday, I make everyone get up by 9am and from 10am to 1 we clean the entire house......My kids know better than to make plans on sundays.......

also, do you have contracted hours or come when they want?